Summary: We formulate the theory of nonlinear viscoelastic hydrodynamics of anisotropic crystals in terms of dynamical Goldstone scalars of spontaneously broken translational symmetries, under the assumption of homogeneous lattices and absence of plastic deformations. We reformulate classical elasticity effective field theory using surface calculus in which the Goldstone scalars naturally define the position of higher-dimensional crystal cores, covering both elastic and smectic crystal phases. We systematically incorporate all dissipative effects in viscoelastic hydrodynamics at first order in a long-wavelength expansion and study the resulting rheology equations. In the process, we find the necessary conditions for equilibrium states of viscoelastic materials. In the linear regime and for isotropic crystals, the theory includes the description of Kelvin-Voigt materials. Furthermore, we provide an entirely equivalent description of viscoelastic hydrodynamics as a novel theory of higher-form superfluids in arbitrary dimensions where the Goldstone scalars of partially broken generalised global symmetries play an essential role. An exact map between the two formulations of viscoelastic hydrodynamics is given. Finally, we study holographic models dual to both these formulations and map them one-to-one via a careful analysis of boundary conditions. We propose a new simple holographic model of viscoelastic hydrodynamics by adopting an alternative quantisation for the scalar fields.