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240 pages, Paperback
First published September 18, 1995
الإكتئاب- بطريقةٍ ما، متسقٌ كثيرًا مع أفكار المجتمع عن المرأة
رأيت ..تعابير الألم الرهيب في عيون النساء
جزءٌ مني تواصل معهم لاشعوريا
وبطريقة عجيبة فهِم هذا الألم
بدون أن أتخيل أنني يوما ما سوف أنظر في المرآة
وأرى الحزن والجنون في عيني نفسيهما
...
أي من مشاعري حقيقي؟ أي أنا هي أنا؟ الفتاة الشاردة المتهورة..والفوضوية والنشيطة..والمجنونة؟
أو الخجولة.. والمنعزلة..واليائسة.. والانتحارية.. والهالكة..والمنهكة؟
...
“I am tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of the hypocrisy, and tired of acting as though I have something to hide.”An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness is an honest and profoundly dramatic memoir that reveals the challenges and sufferings faced by people that suffer from bipolar disorder. Kay Redfield Jamison herself endured the dangerous highs of euphoria mixed with the lows of depression. Her professional success as a clinical psychologist coupled with her forthright story helps to diminish the stigma of this serious mental illness that affect many.
“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”Insightful, poignant and thoroughly revealing. Highly recommended!
it was a society built around a tension between romance and discipline: a complicated world of excitement, stultification, fast life, and sudden death, and if afforded a window back in time to what nineteenth-century living, at its best, and at its worst, must have been: Gracious, civilized, elitest and singularly intolerant of personal weakness.I reckon sentences with two colons are about as common as humans with two colons. But this does give you a small flavor of her cool, detached writing style. There's more:
Now he made no judgements about my completely irrational purchases; or if he did, he didn't make them to me. Courtesy of a personal loan he took out from the credit union of the World Bank, where he worked as an economist, we were able to write checks to cover all of the outstanding bills. Slowly, over a period of many years, I was able to pay back what I owed him. More accurate, I was able to pay back the money I owed him. I can never pay back the love, kindness and understanding.A nice sentiment.
I was late to understand that chaos and intensity are no substitute for lasting love, nor are they necessarily an improvement on normal life. Normal people are not always boring.