cw: dubcon, rough sex, drug & alcohol abuse, cheating (not between MCs), domestic violence (off page), depression
”I’m ready to lThe Heir’s Disgrace
cw: dubcon, rough sex, drug & alcohol abuse, cheating (not between MCs), domestic violence (off page), depression
”I’m ready to lock this in. To commit myself to this. The jealousy and possessiveness that’s been gnawing at me has to do with one thing and one thing only—I want to be the person he turns to when he needs anything. If I can’t give it to him, I’ll figure it out. I want his laughter and his tears. I want his fear and his sense of adventure. I want him to be mine. Only mine.”
”His body overtakes mine like it’s his to use. And I want it to be. I want someone to want it. That Drew wants it means everything. He hated me so much, and he changed his mind. Or I did. We changed each other, and that’s so fucking beautiful. It’s terrifying, but it’s a miracle, too.”
— bratty rich kid/doorman who’s a model — hate-to-love — bi-sexual awakening — angsty but also funny — fake marriage with woman (side character) — effed up family dynamics — kinky sex...more
cw: past childhood abuse, anxiety, depression, gun violence, mentions of suicide (case), alcoholism (secondary character)
I really feel confli3.5 stars
cw: past childhood abuse, anxiety, depression, gun violence, mentions of suicide (case), alcoholism (secondary character)
I really feel conflicted about this series so far. What do you do when you love one character and yet feel ambivalent about his romantic interest? Especially if said romantic interest often acts flippant and insensitive? And yet there are great things well. The angst is perfectly done. The depictions of anxiety and depression ring true. The characterization is great. One secondary character is a real hoot (shout out to Kitty)!
Let’s start with Diem, whom I love—every single bit of his awkward, lumbering, angry, scarred (both physically and psychologically) and antisocial self. If I was rating this book solely based on him it would have been 4 stars, but alas there’s also Tallus and the mystery as well. Diem is a PI and former detective working on a case that requires information from the police records department, where Tallus works as a records clerk. Tallus is a flamboyant, pushy, and self-absorbed flirt. But he also has his good moments when he is insightful and empathetic, especially towards the end.
What I don’t like, however, is how much Tallus toys with Diem. Tallus feeds on the fact that Diem is absolutely mesmerized by him and cannot resist him. He loves attention and aggressively pursues and seduces Diem several times even though Diem makes it clear that he’s uncomfortable with the situation and struggles with any type of physical contact. The context behind this is that Diem grew up with an alcoholic father who physically abused him. He suffers from profound feelings of worthlessness, anger, and guilt. Because of his severe anxiety and depression, any type of social interaction is an uphill battle for him. Therefore, Diem finds it difficult to communicate with others and express himself. And yet Tallus continually makes of fun of him for being uncommunicative. But since Tallus comes from an abusive background himself I would expect more sensitivity from him. So although Tallus can be kind, I can’t get past the constant teasing and self-absorption.
The mystery didn’t do much for me. I could either take it or leave it. I was only interested in it to the extent that it brought Tallus and Diem together and how it allows us to see their relationship develop. ...more
tw: homophobia, mentions of conversion therapy and self-harm, anxiety, depression
”He just can’t help it that he’s awkward. And I happen to find thatw: homophobia, mentions of conversion therapy and self-harm, anxiety, depression
”He just can’t help it that he’s awkward. And I happen to find that part of him endearing. It’s so fucking cute, and isn’t that just disgusting? I’m thirty-five years old and completely enamored with this barely legal kid. Cute isn’t an adjective that I use a lot, but I look at him, and I swear I just want to barrel into him, sweep him into my arms, and fucking squeeze. Cute aggression is real, and it’s maddening.”
If I could come up with a description of this book it would be the sweetest steamiest angst I’ve ever read. It’s also an impressive debut novel.
Sage, eighteen-years-old, is a sweet and vulnerable boy with a traumatic backstory who has never experienced love. His conservative family rejected him as soon as they discovered he was gay. Desperate to hear the three words he has never before heard in his life, he goes out to a gay bar one night and asks his hookup to tell him a lie—“I love you.” He ends up with Lucas and never expects to see him again. A few weeks later Sage meets Lucas again when he takes his brother’s car in to his garage to get it fixed.
Sage’s relationship with Lucas is so sweet and steamy. Lucas, thirty-five years old, is sexy and protective, and possessive in a good way. Sage is petite and has beautiful delicate features. He feels worthless and is timid and insecure because of his emotional baggage. But Lucas, who is a big and imposing guy, is patient with him and affirming. The size difference is an added dimension to their hot sexual dynamic—lots of dirty talk with praise kink and Lucas calling him “sweet baby”.
Even though Sage carries a lot of emotional scars, his relationship with Lucas is such a bright and sweet spot that it offsets a lot of the heaviness. What lingered in my memory at the end was their loving, sexy dynamic rather than the sad moments. ...more
”He pulls back, swiping his thumbs over my cheeks, cupping my face so gently, it’s like he’s afraid if he changes the pressure even the slightest b”He pulls back, swiping his thumbs over my cheeks, cupping my face so gently, it’s like he’s afraid if he changes the pressure even the slightest bit, I’ll shatter, and his gentle touch is the only thing keeping me together now that he’s finally broken me. Like he was always going to break me. I knew it. He knew it. And yet we risked it all anyway.”
”I’ve missed being held hostage by his all-consuming attention. It makes me blind to any and everything but him. His gaze. His scent. His big, looming body standing guard, right where I need him to be. There to swoop in and save the day… save me from myself… Maybe it’s wrong, to crave to be possessed as much as I crave to be possessed by him. But if it is… Then I don’t want to be right.”
”I realize there was never any choice. I’m keeping this boy. This man. My hurricane. For as long as he’ll have me, I’ll keep him.”
A great end to the series. I loved Emery and Felix! These childhood best friends-to-lovers were meant to be together. I’m not usually a fan of the troA great end to the series. I loved Emery and Felix! These childhood best friends-to-lovers were meant to be together. I’m not usually a fan of the trope but I loved the way it was executed here. That’s probably because in this case both Emery and Felix wanted each other desperately, but were just afraid to take the next step for fear of losing their friendship if things didn’t work out. Most times when you come across this trope one of the MCs is already in a relationship and completely oblivious to the other’s pining. The hockey side of things was also fun. I loved Emery’s team and all the cameos from previous books. ...more
”Please,” I said. “Please look at me.” “Why?” “Do I need a reason?” “Yes.” “Because you have beautiful eyes.” He bit his lip. “Because I love it4.5 stars
”Please,” I said. “Please look at me.” “Why?” “Do I need a reason?” “Yes.” “Because you have beautiful eyes.” He bit his lip. “Because I love it when you do.” Morgan tensed his shoulders. “And because it’s a gift I don’t deserve, but for some reason, you’ve chosen to share it with me.”
”Oliver hated himself. He started it, but it was starting to feel like an actual date, and worst of all, Oliver was into it. He was into Victor, an”Oliver hated himself. He started it, but it was starting to feel like an actual date, and worst of all, Oliver was into it. He was into Victor, and the messy hot wings, and his stained shirt, and a dumb hockey game.”
This was so sooo good! The story features some of my favorite tropes: mistaken identity, disability, sex worker, age gap and hurt/comfort. The angst level is somewhere between low and moderate. Oliver is a graduate student who also works as a male escort to pay for university. He meets Victor when Victor is out of town and mistakenly gets into his car thinking it’s his luxury car service. Victor has decided to go ahead with his pre-booked honeymoon plans alone after breaking off his engagement when he discovered his fiancée cheating.
Victor is incredibly wealthy and has led a privileged albeit lonely life. He has cerebral palsy and has experienced a lot of discrimination because of it. People are only interested in him because of his money. Even his two best friends make fun of him and treat him in a condescending manner. Oliver, on the other hand, has his own baggage; he was kicked out of home as a teenager when his parents discovered he was gay. After a rough life spent bouncing around the foster system, he has become obsessed with graduating debt-free and creating a nest egg for himself.
Victor and Oliver strike an arrangement to spend the week together where Victor will pay Oliver to show him around town and spend nights with him. Strictly business of course… or that’s what they think. And yet Victor’s sweet and guileless nature utterly charms Oliver who has never had someone treat him with such care and tenderness. It melts away all of his defenses. But Oliver is afraid of the gap between their life experiences and feels unworthy of Victor’s love. And Victor believes that no one could ever want him because of his disability.
Even though I usually detest insta-love somehow this worked for me. The emotional connection between them developed in an authentic way. I think a lot of it had to do with how the author tackled the subject of Victor’s cerebral palsy head on and didn’t shy away from its challenges. It wasn’t a Hallmark romance from that point of view. Their interactions were messy at times and not just the sexual intimacy so I really appreciated that. What was constant though were all the feels and melt-your-heart moments. This is guaranteed to be a comfort read when I need something to pick me up....more
“Kissing was intimate. More so than fucking. For Jack, kissing was an expression of his heart and mind and soul. He showed himself, his th4.5 stars
“Kissing was intimate. More so than fucking. For Jack, kissing was an expression of his heart and mind and soul. He showed himself, his thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, in his words, from his lips and tongue. They were the conduit through which he gave himself to others, and to the person he loved, he gave them everything through kisses.”
This was a great series finale! It’s a thrilling ride with jam-packed action from beginning to end. Ethan finally get his well-deserved HEA with Jack after going after the Cabal who forced him into becoming an assassin. Of course he tries to do this on his own to protect Jack, but Jack is always just a step behind him to catch him when he falls. And in the end, Ethan also helps Jack heal the rift with his family. ...more
”Oh, you are not going to get off that lightly,” she said. “It is to be a marriage forever, Flavian. You married me. It dA truly enchanting story!
”Oh, you are not going to get off that lightly,” she said. “It is to be a marriage forever, Flavian. You married me. It does not matter why you did it. You married me, and you will jolly well live up to that commitment. I will not allow you not to. And I married you. It does not matter why I did it. For better or worse, we are married. People marry for all sorts of reasons. It is not those that matter. It is what they do with their marriages that counts. We are going to make this a good marriage. Both of us.”...more
tw: violence and flashbacks of abuse, torture and sexual assault
”Now he has Bayani, who softens John’s sharp edges and allows him to express himseltw: violence and flashbacks of abuse, torture and sexual assault
”Now he has Bayani, who softens John’s sharp edges and allows him to express himself fully, to be the sort of man who can look at himself in the mirror without recoiling in shame. John is more than just the Butcher to Bayani. Without knowing or even meaning to, the boy has given John a reason to live, and a reason to fight.”
This is a heartbreakingly beautiful romance. It takes so much skill to deliver a fully fleshed story in a hundred-twenty-five-page novella. Although it is a dark romance, it isn’t one in the usual sense. The darkness is not between John, the Butcher, and the Filipino boy he rescues, Bayani. The darkness comes from the horrific abuse Bayani suffered at the hands of Emile, his former employer and lover, who tortured and raped him and left him for dead. Emile brings Bayani to John to dispose of for John is not just a regular butcher. John has been coerced by Emile’s father to work for his shadowy organization called “the Hand”, and dismember and grind any of their “special deliveries”.
Bayani is small, delicate and exquisitely beautiful—or he was so before he arrived at John’s doorstep mutilated after the vicious torture he suffered over days. Emile and his goons think he is dead, and it is only when John puts him on his butcher’s table that he notices Bayani is barely breathing. John decides to save Bayani at significant risk to himself and calls in a medic who is a fellow veteran to treat him.
John is a gentle giant and a lonely veteran who has his own demons. He is kind and empathetic as he takes care of Bayani. He is patient and tender with the traumatized boy when he needs help with the most intimate tasks. As the boy slowly heals and begins trusting once again, they develop a beautiful friendship. Sexual tension is high and feelings grow under the ever present threat that Emile might discover Bayani is still alive. John’s and Bayani’s connection provides a source of hope and lightness amidst the evil. You still get the sense of a slow burn with these few pages. There is only one sex scene (steamy as hell) at the very end, but it makes sense given the context.
One intriguing side character is a femme assassin called Nightingale. I can’t wait to read his book. ...more
This is such a lovely story featuring two of my favorite tropes: a hero with a disability and a widow. Sir Benedict Harper is a wounded ex-military heThis is such a lovely story featuring two of my favorite tropes: a hero with a disability and a widow. Sir Benedict Harper is a wounded ex-military hero who feels adrift after losing the use of his legs in battle. He’s never wanted to be anything else other than a military officer and can’t envision life outside of it. Then he meets Samantha who is a recent widow crushed by the onerous conditions placed on her mourning period by the family of her deceased husband. She seeks an escape from her home and embarks on a journey to Wales, which Ben insists on accompanying her on to provide protection. Close proximity leads to an inevitable romance. It’s a slow burn with wonderful characterization, and it’s wonderful to see the hero and heroine overcome their personal demons as they open themselves up to love. ...more
I was really looking forward to getting a better understanding of Ethan, but I found the book sadly underwhelming. It is basically the previo3.5 stars
I was really looking forward to getting a better understanding of Ethan, but I found the book sadly underwhelming. It is basically the previous book re-written from Ethan’s POV. It rehashes the same story. So dialogue from key scenes (a lot) is repeated and since I read book 2 just a few weeks ago, I could recognize all of it. I expected to get additional insight into Ethan by the end of it, but I didn’t. Even the inner dialogue seemed pretty much the same. I would have appreciated more information on his childhood and his time with the Cabal for example. I think this book could easily be skipped. ...more
”Then I met you. You were cranky and sad and really wanted to punch me.” ”With reason,” Jack grumbled into his shoulder. ”With very good r4.5 stars
”Then I met you. You were cranky and sad and really wanted to punch me.” ”With reason,” Jack grumbled into his shoulder. ”With very good reason. Yet you didn’t. You walked with me, you talked with me. You made me laugh. You laughed with me. At me. You never hesitated to get angry at me, despite believing I was Ethan Blade, feared assassin. And I wanted you because of all that.”
The mystery. Intrigue. Emotion. Mindfuckery. Action. Cat and mouse games. Tenderness. Passion. Vulnerability. Sex.
Were absolutely brilliant! Do read this folks. And no, it isn’t a standalone.
Nelly S. (on semi-hiatus)
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