”For Aksel, it was more. He didn’t want just Lucien’s body. He wanted his heart. He wanted to crawl under his skin and never, ever get out. He want”For Aksel, it was more. He didn’t want just Lucien’s body. He wanted his heart. He wanted to crawl under his skin and never, ever get out. He wanted everything. He wanted forever. He knew he could never have it.”
I enjoyed this so much and it held my attention from the beginning to the end. Lucien, a gentle omega, was such a lovable character with a tragic backstory. I loved the way his improbable relationship with Aksel, a deliciously possessive and caring alpha, developed. I had wondered how the taboo romance between a stepfather (Lucien) and son (Aksel) would play out because of not only the age gap, but also how young they both were when they met. And yet Alessandra Hazard was able to make it work; it even made sense to the extent that her plots can. It helped that Lucien and Aksel had never truly had a stepfather/son relationship given the circumstances in which Lucien joined Aksel’s household. Moreover, their transition from friends-to-lovers was very gradual. The use of time shifts makes this possible. And of course the sex scenes are “obscenely” steamy as usual.
”I’ve loved you all my life. It’s part of who I am as a person. I don’t know who the fuck I am if I can’t love you, if I’m not allowed to love you, if you don’t want me around. Even if I marry someone else, it wouldn’t change anything. I would still be miserable. I would still love you. I will stop loving you the day I stop breathing.”...more
“I’m going to kiss this man, I promised myself. Somehow, some way. He is going to be my first real kiss.”
That was so ridiculously cute! It’s perfe“I’m going to kiss this man, I promised myself. Somehow, some way. He is going to be my first real kiss.”
That was so ridiculously cute! It’s perfect for those times when you need a mood booster. Sure it’s over the top and absurd but did I care? Nuh-uh! It’s hilarious, schmoopy, feel good and hot....more
“I will not be changed!” David shouted, then dropped his voice to a low, vicious hiss. “I am a valet, and a whore’s get, and a redheaded 4.5 stars
“I will not be changed!” David shouted, then dropped his voice to a low, vicious hiss. “I am a valet, and a whore’s get, and a redheaded bastard, and if that is not good enough for you, then you may go to the devil, because I will not be reshaped to fit your whim. I’m better than that. I am very well as I am, and if you cannot lower yourself to fuck the man who cleans your boots, you may not have me.”
KJC’s writing sorcery is such that she managed to do the impossible: make me empathize with Richard. I had never liked Richard up to this point because of his imperious and judgmental manner. But this book allows us to see the man behind the stuffy suit—his desires and vulnerabilities—and goes a long way towards humanizing him.
David, Richard’s valet, has always been a fascinating character. Machiavellian and utterly devoted to his master, he stays behind the scenes and performs the dirtiest deeds to serve Richard’s interests. He’s also been deeply in love with Richard for years. Although David has always been fearless and ruthless about going after what he wants, he finds himself unable to do so when it comes to wants Richard.
Theirs is an intriguing relationship because both Richard and David know that they want each other and yet can’t act on their desire because of Richard’s hangups about class. He’s a marquess’s son after all and can’t be seen dallying with servants. Richard is weighed down by high expectations and the responsibilities of being a second son, the “spare”. He also has a ton of baggage stemming from his upbringing.
Once Richard finally gives in to their inevitable attraction, their relationship proceeds at a fitful pace. What I love about Cyprian, however, is that he’s no pushover and has the backbone to demand that Richard accept him as he is—a bastard born in a whorehouse—without trying to change him. So although their relationship starts off with a great power imbalance, things shift to the point that Richard finds himself begging for David’s forgiveness and trying to woo him back. The sexy times are sizzling hot.
“I cannot think of any better course than to tell you the truth and leave it in your hands.” “What truth?” David’s voice was a little husky. “That if you should care to have me come to you, you need but crook a finger.”
Series Rating A Fashionable Indulgence: 3.85 stars A Seditious Affair: 5 stars A Gentleman’s Position: 4.5 stars...more
”I’d love to stay just like this, me on my back and him on top of me, but I really think we should talk before I start rubbing my cock against him.”I’d love to stay just like this, me on my back and him on top of me, but I really think we should talk before I start rubbing my cock against him. I mean, it’s basic courtesy.”...more
“Some people can hide things about themselves. I can’t.” He shifted. “Like it’s totally inappropriate, but it’s killing me not to take my 4.5 stars
“Some people can hide things about themselves. I can’t.” He shifted. “Like it’s totally inappropriate, but it’s killing me not to take my pants off right now.” “Huh? Ouch! Shit!” A burning sensation shot through my finger with a slice of the knife.”
What an enchanting book! It made me feel all warm and happy and laugh like a loon! Milo, an accountant who inherits a bookstore, is one of the most delightful characters I’ve ever come across. He’s a breath of fresh air who will fill your heart with joy. Neurodivergent and proud of it, he embraces his quirks and makes no apologies for being the way he is. His bluntness will have you dying of laughter. He’s incredibly smart and just so sweet.
Gideon aka Tattoo Guy, owns a tattoo parlor and is total boyfriend goals. He rents an office and apartment in Milo’s building and soon becomes his roommate. He’s supportive of Milo without ever being condescending. Gideon accepts Milo as he is and loves him with all his idiosyncrasies, and indeed because of them. I love how protective he is. He’s grateful to have Milo in his life and so proud to be his boyfriend.
Their relationship is the best kind of friends-to-lovers romance as we get to see every step of Milo’s and Gideon’s friendship, from friends to “bestie goals” to so much more. The sex is hot and sweet, but also hilarious as Milo experiences everything for the first time in his uniquely unfiltered way—from his very first kiss to losing the v-card.
And I leave you with some of my favorite quotes:
“Why are you grinning at me like that? It’s creepy.” “Creepy wasn’t the vibe I was going for.” “Did I hurt your feelings?” I shoved off the wall. “No.” God, he was refreshing. I didn’t know another word to use for him other than that. I never knew what to expect, and everything was so damn pure with him.”
“And there’s a chance I might have overreacted a little, but I’m really strung tight. I haven’t had an orgasm in weeks because of you.” My mouth dropped open… “I need visual stimulation to have an orgasm, and I feel uncomfortable watching porn when you’re in the next room. I tried once when you weren’t home, but my brain kept telling me you could walk upstairs at any moment, so I couldn’t get off. I asked Rachel if it would be rude to see if you can leave for a couple of hours and promise you won’t come back. I think it’ll help with my tension if I can come a few times.”
“Say what?” “I love you.” “I just wanted to hear the words. You didn’t actually use them.” “But I’m still frustrated you said it first.” “Milo, your boyfriend just admitted he’s crazy in love with you, and you’re annoyed he said it before you?” “Yes, yes I am.” I laughed. “God, I love you.”...more
— age gap — bdsm — houseboy kink — hurt/comfort — grumpy/sunshine — slow burn — smutty
“If it were up to you, tell me ex4.5 “houseboy kink wtf?” stars
— age gap — bdsm — houseboy kink — hurt/comfort — grumpy/sunshine — slow burn — smutty
“If it were up to you, tell me exactly what you would get from me. What you’re looking for.” He shrugged as if the answer was so simple. “I want to serve you…in all things. I want to cook for you and clean for you. I want to help you get ready for work in the morning and be here when you get home. Whatever you need, I want to provide it. I want to kneel at your feet, and rest my head on your thigh, and feel…safe, and to please you. Always to please you.… “I want to know what’s expected of me. I want to know that you’re there if I need you, and like I said, to feel cherished because you know I cherish you. I want you to push me to my knees if you want my mouth, and to take my ass when you need a hole, and for you to fill me when I need that as well. And I want your control in all aspects of my life. It’s all too much for me sometimes.”
Whoever coined the expression “panties go poof” really needs recognition for their brilliance. This captures the experience of reading Finding Finley. But it’s so much more than this. It’s a deeply layered exploration of a bdsm relationship with an extra sizzle factor: a houseboy kink.
This does not read like your typical sweet Riley Hart book. Finley and Aidan have a D/s, hurt/comfort relationship with complex power dynamics and gritty sex. Finley is a broke, twenty-year-old employed by Aidan as a houseboy. Aidan (39) is a wealthy ER trauma surgeon who he’s idolized for years. Going into this, I was curious to see how the houseboy kink would play out.
Although it appears as if Aidan has all the power in their relationship—he’s older, rich, the boss, has status—Fin actually has the upper hand. He’s got him wrapped around his little finger. Let’s be clear that Fin is the one with the houseboy kink. When they meet, Aidan’s tastes as a Dom run pretty regular, even though he is very dominant. Fin is the one who sets the parameters of their relationship. And Aidan soon finds himself wanting to do everything in his power to be a good Dom—care for him, provide structure, and praise him. Aidan wants to fulfill every need of his “precious boy” and please him.
“He was going to break me, I thought. He was already hammering away at the walls inside me, this sweet, pure, honest boy who trusted me to take care of him and protect him.
Finley in turn finally finds the sense of completeness he’d been craving his whole life. Someone who understands his intrinsic desire and need to serve. Someone who provides him the structure and sense of security he needs in order to thrive. Someone who fulfills his deepest sexual fantasies. And someone who cherishes and adores him.
“You like the way I smell, don’t you?” I knew he did. He was always inhaling me. We’d spoken about it before, but I wanted to hear him say it again. “Yes. God, I love it. It calms me down. Makes me feel like…I don’t know, like no matter what, everything is going to be okay.”
And can we talk about the sex? The UST is off the chain in this slow burn romance. The sexing is hawt, like need to take a cold shower hot. Dirty talk. Edging. Spanking. Orgasm denial.
“I’m going to come, and I want you to swallow it all. Don’t spill a drop or I won’t be happy. Once it’s in your belly, wrap your hand around your cock and stroke until you come.” He nodded, his mouth full of dick, and I slammed in again. My balls emptied, my load shooting from them and spilling into his eager mouth. Finley swallowed every bit hungrily, then pushed his underwear down and got one good stroke in before he shot his load too.”
So about the houseboy kink—some readers are uncomfortable with it and I get that. But I didn’t have that experience because Fin craved everything that happened. He wanted to serve. He needed to serve with every fiber of his being. Aidan only did what Fin wanted. He gets off on being a provider, a protector and being controlling and inflicting pain, but only when it’s consensual. He’s an excellent Dom who always put Fin’s needs and safety first....more
“Who’d have guessed I’d find a damned gentleman who walked my side of the street in arsehole Painted Bay? I didn’t know whether to laugh 4.5 stars
“Who’d have guessed I’d find a damned gentleman who walked my side of the street in arsehole Painted Bay? I didn’t know whether to laugh or shake my fist at the gay gods of destiny. Whichever one of them gazed in their crystal ball and thought this was a good idea needed to lay off the margaritas. Like I needed another complication in my life, particularly a man, a nice man, a nice man who seemed to like me for who I was. Fucking unicorns.”
Why in the world did I take so long to read this? I loved it! I had seen so many mixed reviews for this that I kept dragging my feet on getting around to it, but once I did I just couldn’t stop.
So what did I love about this? I mean pretty much everything. The relationship between Judah and Morgan left me swooning from the beginning. The meet cute, amazing UST, flirty banter, and their mating dance were delicious. And the actual relationship, I mean talk about couple goals! They’re so disgustingly adorable and sexy together. And did I mention the sex? Scorching hot!
Let’s talk about the MCs for a moment. I felt so badly for Judah when his dazzling ballet career came to a devastating crash. The absolute hell and despair he experiences due to Ménière’s disease is heartbreaking, but watching him slowly pick himself up and forge a new identity is incredibly satisfying
And Morgan, gosh what a perfect boyfriend! He’s a sexy, rugged, fisheries officer with a heart of gold. Still recovering from grief after losing his wife, meeting Judah shakes up his world in the best way possible. He’s strong, supportive and I love the way he cares about Judah. He’s comfortable enough in his own skin to give up control in bed despite being older and more stereotypically alpha.
I know that quite a few people were put off by the drama at the very end, but it didn’t bother me since it was plot-related and had nothing to do with the MCs acting stupid.
What really pissed me off to no end though is Leroy (Judah’s brother) who is a major jerk!
“Goodnight my tiny dancer. See you Sunday. A lump caught in my throat at his words. Tiny dancer. God, I was ridiculous. I fired back a text and then threw my phone across the couch so I could pretend I’d had nothing to do with it. Nite, pooky bear. Please, somebody kill me now.”...more
“You are not saying goodbye. You’re not going anywhere, and I’ll tell you why. Because I want it all. Everything. I want scary, pissy Dr4.25 stars
“You are not saying goodbye. You’re not going anywhere, and I’ll tell you why. Because I want it all. Everything. I want scary, pissy Dr. Lucien Avery. I want the sweet, brave sixteenth Earl of Rossingley; I want the beautiful Lady Louisa. I want to paint your toenails luscious pink velvet for you. I want to paint your fingernails black for you. I want to paint the fucking walls of this stately home for you.”
Guys you must read this!!! Even my cynical GR friends (you know who you are). The main characters are delightful, the plot is captivating, and the writing is wonderful. A score of beautiful moments will tug at your heartstrings, but also make you laugh. And did I mention lots of steamy sex???
— boss/assistant/doctors — grumpy/sunshine — class differences — hurt/comfort — opposites attract — out/closeted — slow burn — sexual awakening
The story starts off predictably enough. A random, anonymous hookup in a club. The MCs are stunned to meet a week later at work. But that’s where similarities with most books ends.
Jay Sorrentino goes to a gay club a week before his wedding where he hooks up with a gorgeous stranger. He calls off his wedding the following day. When he shows up for his first day at work as a junior doctor, he discovers that his supervisor, Lucien Avery (who is also an earl) is no other than the gorgeous stranger from the club.
So What Makes This Special? • Hospital setting provides great human moments. • The MCs. An aloof, eccentric lord meets a sociable, regular bloke from a working class background. • Our grumpy MC is not the typical alpha asshole, but an androgynous, misanthropic, eyeliner and negligee wearing aristocrat. • A plucky patient, Billy-Ray, is a wonderful secondary character. • Sensitive portrayal of grief. • Emotional depth, yet hilarious humor lightens heavy situations. • MCs who act like adults.
Favorite Quotes “… but on finding out Lucien was arranging a meet up with an ex-boyfriend, an absurd level of jealousy I never knew I possessed threatened to overwhelm me. And so I kissed him since alternative methods of marking my territory, like cocking my leg and pissing on him, are socially unacceptable for many, many reasons."
“you don’t know what you want, do you?” he says kindly. “That’s the problem, Lucien. I’m fairly confident that I do.”
“He takes my hand and holds it in his lap. Intermittently, he gives it a squeeze. When I said I wasn’t one of life’s natural hand-holders, I think I just hadn’t found the right hand to hold.”
Quibble Needs better editing. It’s a shame to see beautiful writing marred by typos and missing words.
Final Verdict I would characterize this as a sweet, humorous romance with wonderful depth. It’s not fluffy, but it’s not overly angsty either because of fantastic humor. It was worth every penny (not on KU) and I’m definitely buying the remaining books in the series....more
"I wish I could see your face." The pit of Amberley's stomach fell away as if the c(rake, blind heroine, wallflower, forced proximity, insta-love)
"I wish I could see your face." The pit of Amberley's stomach fell away as if the carriage had bounded over a deep rut but the very faint wistfulness in her tone had its effect and he did not hesitate. "Then, since I can't show it to you, perhaps this will help." And, lifting her hands, he laid her palms lightly against his face and released them."
Dominique Ballantyne is the thirty-four-year-old Marquis of Amberley who has recently returned from France. Fabulously wealthy, elegant and charming, he has a reputation for being a law unto himself. He's also a skilled, ruthless gambler.
Rosalind Vernon is a beautiful, blind lady who lives as a recluse in the country. She’s spirited and intelligent and doesn't let blindness defeat her. She lives on her own with a few servants and a parrot (Broody) who curses a blue streak.
The Plot Rosalind meets Dominique when he is attacked by highwaymen at night on his way to his country estate. He is forced to seek shelter at her home for the night. A snowstorm develops, however, and Dominique is snowed in at her house for a week. They soon become fast friends and fall in love with each other.
Highlights Dominique’s horror when he realizes Rosalind is the little girl that he knocked down withis carriage twelve years ago.
"How did you tell the girl you were deeply and helplessly in love with that you were responsible for shrinking her world to a place of darkness and solitary monotony? And, having told her, what then? Even if she didn't draw back in revulsion, it could scarcely be described as an auspicious overture to an offer of marriage."
Excellent relationship development from the moment the pair meets to their renewed acquaintance when Rosalind visits London
Vivid secondary characters such as the Duke of Rockliffe.
"There was a brief pause and then, "Your Grace—are you by any chance flirting with me?" Rockliffe appeared to consider the matter. "I believe", he said at length, "that I am attempting to do so. Have you any objection?" "Not in the least," she assured him politely. "I merely wondered. Please go on." And his Grace finally abandoned his air of languor and gave way to rare laughter.
A complex plot with several moving parts and characters is deftly managed.
A secondary romance involving Rosalind’s brother....more
“Sullivan kissed him like Tobias was his, his to use and enjoy and take care of, and Tobias—Tobias couldn't r4.5 “made me a convert to bdsm” stars
“Sullivan kissed him like Tobias was his, his to use and enjoy and take care of, and Tobias—Tobias couldn't remember ever feeling this full, this safe.”
Angsty. Hot. Deep. Suspenseful. Tender.
• m/m suspense • opposites attract • hurt/comfort • bdsm • close proximity • class differences
Tobias is an unhappy pre-med student. He’s one of six adoptees of affluent, high-achieving Haitian doctors. He spent a year in juvenile detention for self-harming after being overwhelmed by family expectations.
Sullivan is a PI doing grunt work for a ball-busting boss, but has dreams of starting his own agency. He’s carrying severe baggage from his last relationship where he was vilified for his kink preferences.
Plot Toby is worried that something bad has happened to Ghost, his best friend, after he goes missing. Ghost is a street hustler who’s been involved with some unsavory characters, including the matriarch of a Russian mob. Meanwhile, Sullivan is on the hunt for a woman who has been missing for 20 years; he tracks down a lead to Ghost’s apartment. Sullivan meets Toby as he’s breaking into Ghost’s apartment to try to find him. Toby ends up hiring Sullivan to find Ghost, but has to blackmail Sullivan into letting him help with the search.
Romance I loved the way the relationship develops between Toby and Sullivan. It starts off antagonistically when Toby blackmails Sullivan, yet there is undeniable sexual tension from the very beginning. As they spend hours shadowing and tailing their suspect, they talk about their favorite books and movies. They discover that they share a love for reading and eclectic literary tastes. Sullivan is hyperactive and has a quirky, inquisitive mind, and often goes off into the cutest, geeky monologues. Toby confesses his love for stress baking and there's a cute moment when he bakes a cherry pie for Sullivan.
There is a true hurt/comfort element to Toby’s and Sullivan’s relationship. Toby is a people pleaser and has abandonment issues; he lives in fear of upsetting people and losing their love. But Sullivan is the exact opposite and doesn’t care about people’s opinions. He encourages Toby to express his emotions and figure out what he wants. He calls Toby out when he’s lying to himself, yet also supports him unconditionally. Their Dom/sub relationship is based on complete trust since Sullivan truly understands Toby’s desires and needs. And Toby helps Sullivan get over his trauma by proving he’s not a monster for loving kink. Their relationship is an affirmation that Sullivan is worthy of love with a beautiful person.
Steam-o-meter Smutty. I had never understood the appeal of bdsm before, but boy did the sex scenes blow my mind. Dirty talk. Edging. Spanking. I loved Toby’s complete trust in Sullivan, the way they cuddle after sex, as well as Sullivan’s tender aftercare.
“Maybe I'll make you beg for it,” Sullivan murmured thoughtfully. “Make you beg to get fucked. Make you beg to suck me. I can do anything I want and you’ll like it. Because you’re a slut, aren’t you?” “Please.” Tobias had felt filthy and overwhelmed when he said that forbidden little word—slut—but it was so much hotter when Sullivan said it. He was so close. He lifted his hips, trying to get more friction. “Please let me come.”...more
”Something about Park could settle him in a heartbeat. Maybe the same thing about him that could rile him up from zero to sixty so fucking fast.”
I”Something about Park could settle him in a heartbeat. Maybe the same thing about him that could rile him up from zero to sixty so fucking fast.”
I’ve finally experienced what all my GR friends have been raving about this series! Boy does it start off with a bang. I never thought I’d read a paranormal romance, but this romantic suspense was the perfect choice. This is going to be a brief review since I already have a standing date with book 2.
— romantic suspense — paranormal romance/shifter/werewolf — federal agent/werewolf partner — opposites attract — close proximity — slow burn
Cooper Dayton: is a federal agent with the BSI, an offshoot of the FBI which investigates wolf crimes. He’s adorably awkward, insecure, and prickly.
Oliver Park: is a werewolf and agent with the Trust, an organization representing werewolves’ interests. The Trust is partnering with the BSI to investigate several suspicious deaths. Park is an unflappable tough guy with a soft center.
Highlights — Mysterious serial killer on the loose. — Cooper and Park are richly drawn characters. — Nice push and pull dynamics. Cooper is prickly and defensive, while Park is confident and more open. — Incredible UST from their very first meeting that builds up with every interaction. — Delicious slow burn. — Strong relationship development as Cooper and Park slowly get over their mutual distrust, solidify their partnership, and succumb to their attraction. — Great writing, pacing and humor. — Moderately steamy.
”C’mon, you bastard. Show me your super hearing. Asshole Park. Huge alpha Park. Big, strong, muscular Park. Amazing Ass Park. Pretty Eyes Park.”...more
(wounded hero, marriage of convenience, age gap, slow burn, obsessive villain, suspense)
I thoroughly enjoyed this!
What to Ex4.5 stars rounded down
(wounded hero, marriage of convenience, age gap, slow burn, obsessive villain, suspense)
I thoroughly enjoyed this!
What to Expect
• Artful storytelling that will transport you to another time and world.
• An unparalleled beauty, Philly, deemed The Work of Art for her unique eyes, one blue and the other amber.
• A tragic, wounded hero, Arthur, who rescues our heroine by offering a marriage of convenience.
• A creepy villain, the Duke of Moreland, nicknamed The Collector because of his obsession with possessing unique objects.
• An evil uncle who is determined to barter his niece for financial gain.
• A pack of lovable dogs.
• Suspense as ominous incidents occur that threaten Philly's life.
• Beautiful characterization of the main characters, especially Philly's tender-hearted nature and Arthur's fierce sense of honor and protectiveness.
• A delicious slow burn as Philly's and Arthur's relationship unfolds.
• A sweet, delightful love story.
• Low steam.
Quibble • Lack of steam. This didn’t take away anything from the story, but my smut-loving self can’t in good conscience round it up to 5-stars....more
”I’m happy when I’m with you. This probably sounds ridiculous, but I haven’t felt happy in so long. I can’t ev4.2 “giant, NHL teddy bear” stars
”I’m happy when I’m with you. This probably sounds ridiculous, but I haven’t felt happy in so long. I can’t even remember. So…yeah. I want to be your boyfriend.” He huffed an embarrassed little laugh. “I can’t believe I finally got to say that out loud after all these years.”
I absolutely loved Tough Guy. I’m going to commit blasphemy and even go so far as to say that I liked it more than Heated Rivalry. It is a surprisingly sensitive and sweet read, but don’t worry, the MCs have great chemistry and there is still plenty of heat .
Ryan Price is a pro hockey star but isn’t your typical hockey player. He’s a big, 6’7 defenseman who’s the “enforcer” on his team. But Ryan is actually a really sweet guy who hates fighting. Not only that, he’s shy, awkward and suffers from severe anxiety. He’s been traded nearly every season from the beginning of his career because he doesn’t fit in with his teammates. Being gay and closeted among homophobic teammates doesn’t help.
Fabian Salah is an aspiring musician and unapologetically femme. He’s confident in his sexuality and wears bold, dramatic makeup. Fabian hates hockey and hockey players with a passion. Growing up in a home with hockey mad parents and a hockey playing sister, he’s always been made to feel a disappointment. Ryan was hosted in their home ten years ago and he is the only hockey player that Fabian has ever liked.
Their relationship is beautiful and they are great foils for each other. Ryan is isolated, anxious, and depressed. He’s infatuated with Fabian but feels unworthy of him; he can’t talk, blushes terribly, and is socially inept. But he is so sweet and adores Fabian. Meanwhile, Fabian has always had a crush on Ryan and gradually manages to coax him into taking baby steps with him. Ryan especially needs extra reassurance when it comes to sex. He is extremely insecure about his body and his ability to perform sexually. But Fabian is patient with him and after some initial bumps, they’re able to sort things out and get their groove on.
An important caveat on Fabian--while Fabian is absolutely wonderful with helping Ryan build his overall confidence and overcome his problems performing sexually, he does put undue pressure on him to quit hockey. Fabian's hatred of hockey is the reason why they break up. And although hockey makes Ryan miserable and is destroying his body, he needs to let Ryan come to that decision himself. But I'm more willing to make allowances for the behavior of MCs than I would in real life.
As a side note, this is one of the most nuanced depictions of anxiety disorder I’ve ever come across.
“Do you want to know what I think of you? Ryan wasn’t sure. When he didn’t reply, Fabian continued. “I think you’re sexy as hell. And you’re so fucking sweet. And I don’t think you beat people up for a living. I think you protect people for a living. Because that’s who you are, Ryan. You have a giant heart in that giant chest and…” He leaned in, brushing his lips against Ryan’s ears. “I’m. Not. Scared of you.”...more
“You’re my ‘If I could have just one more day’ person. You know what I mean? I was at a bad place before I met you, and I reme4.75 stars rounded up
“You’re my ‘If I could have just one more day’ person. You know what I mean? I was at a bad place before I met you, and I remember thinking, ‘If I could just have one thing for myself, something that made me happy for a single moment…’ And there you were...”
tw: cheating, homophobia, violence
I can’t say enough good things about If We Could Go Back Again. This is the perfect angsty, thought provoking read that will linger in your mind for a while. It made me smile, feel butterflies, moved me and had me yearning to find that special one. But I also felt heartbroken and enraged at times. The happy ever after ending was everything though and left me sighing in contentment.
— gay for you — friends-to-lovers — straight married father/married closeted father — hurt/comfort — coming out — slow burn — angsty — single POV
Bennett Brooks: Ben is a married, devoted father, who is raising two sons on his own while his wife is studying in college out of state. A workaholic in marketing, his life revolves around work and his kids, who are the center of his life.
Kieran Marshall: Kieran is the CEO and owner of a bike messenger company. He’s also a devoted father to a daughter, but stuck in an unhappy marriage as a closeted gay man.
The Plot Bennett takes a commuter train on his way to work every day and is intrigued by the biker messenger who always sits next to him. He wonders how a messenger can afford the business class fare and weaves different stories in his head about who he is and what he does. His interest is even more piqued when he sees the stranger one evening wearing an expensive suit. They start chatting on their commute. Desperately lonely and seeking to make friends, Ben musters up the courage to suggest hanging out sometime; thus begins the start of their friendship.
Their Relationship This is a perfectly paced slow burn romance. You know how slow burns can sometimes be too slow or drag in the middle? That’s not the case here. The pacing is spot on from the very beginning when we meet our characters. Ben is straight and, in my opinion, presents as a case of gay for you rather than a bi awakening. He’s burnt out from juggling work and the kids on his own, his marriage is on the rocks, and he’s lonely. He is fascinated by Kieran and doesn’t understand how their developing friendship has quickly become the only bright spot in his life. The buildup in sexual tension, which Ben fails to recognize for what it is, is brilliant.
“As a ball of guilt dropped into my stomach, my priority didn't change. I couldn't not know Kieran. I couldn't go back. I wouldn't.”
Now let me address the elephant in the room. The cheating. Please note that I do not condone cheating so my reflections shouldn’t be seen as excusing it. However, I do try to put myself in the position of the characters. Cara Dee presents a morally gray situation such that we can’t help but empathize with the MCs. Ben’s and Kieran’s relationship can’t be simplified and nothing is black and white about their situation.
Let’s start off with Ben’s and Kieran’s circumstances. They’re both unhappy couples who married young while in college. Ben’s wife, Allison, is bitter, selfish and disengaged from her husband and kids. She chose to go to an out of state college and leave her family, and doesn’t come home for holidays. Maggie, on the other hand, knew Kieran was gay when she married him. She chose to do so because she wanted to have a family and had a crush on him. And Kieran married her because of his conservative, homophobic, Irish Catholic family. He knew they would shun him if he came out as gay.
Ben and Kieran don’t just cheat to get their rocks off. They find themselves in impossible situations where they're barely holding it together. Pretty soon they come to mean everything to each other. Their friendship is a lifeline and the only time they come to life is in their stolen moments. They find passion, emotional connection, support, and joy together. But they also feel deeply conflicted and guilty about what they’re doing. They can hardly function when they try to deny their attraction and break up.
“Remember you called him my cocaine?” I asked, and she nodded. “He’s not. He’s the love of my life.”
Highlights • Nuanced portrayal of their relationship in all its joy and turmoil.
• Beautiful, emotive writing and dialogue that rings true.
• Great characterization. It’s rare that I like both MCs equally and the single POV (Ben’s) works.
• Ben’s sons and Kieran’s daughter play an important role. The interactions with their fathers and between the two families are wonderful.
• The way Ben and Kieran need and complete each other is swoonworthy.
• The sex scenes hit the spot; they’re smutty but also emotionally connected....more
(Tropes: Class Differences, Opposites Attract, Merry Widow, Amnesia, Hurt Comfort)
“He kissed her as if it were not the first time but the last, as if the world were about to end, and every second was worth a lifetime.”
For the eight hours or so I was reading Devil in Disguise, I was transported into another world. A world where where Merritt Sterling, daughter of one of the original Wallflowers, finds love with a gruff, honorable and oh so sexy Scotsman. Brusque and simple in manner, Keir MacRae turns out to be surprisingly tender beneath his rough exterior. I loved the mood set from the very first page and I was swept away in it till the very last.
Lady Merritt Sterling is a widow who runs the shipping company of her recently deceased husband. She is also the daughter of Lilian and Lord Marcus Westcliffe from It Happened One Autumn. Keir MacRae owns a whisky distillery on the small island of Islay. Merritt’s and Keir’s pairing is a classic case of opposites attract. As the eldest of six siblings, Merritt is a natural leader who charms people into action. Keir nicknames her his “wee little bully”. A beautiful woman with a warm manner, she’s an accomplished business leader in the male dominated shipping industry.
Keir is a gruff, rough-mannered man. Although he owns MacRae whisky distillery, he feels most at home working side by side with his men. He is extremely conscious of the vast social gulf between them. What Keir lacks in polish though, is more than made up by his strong sense of honor. “No’ for the world would I do you any harm,” MacRae murmured, “or have it rumored that you’ve lowered yourself.” Carefully he released her and stepped back. “That’s why this will never happen again.”
Their love story starts with a bang when Keir storms into Merritt's office in a rage, furious that her company has mishandled his cargo of whisky. But a combustible dose of insta-lust and several days is all it takes before they spend a night of uninhibited passion. A series of orchestrated events later on create opportunities for them to deepen their relationship. Their relationship is marked by high drama at each turn. A mysterious killer is determined to eliminate Keir at all costs. The killer’s motive remains a secret for a long time. Even more interesting for Kleypas fans, Keir turns out to be Sebastian's (Devil in Winter) illegitimate son.
The two attempts on Keir's life are major plot devices that provide opportunities for Merritt to take care of Keir. They also provide them extended periods of time together for their relationship to grow beyond physical attraction. The first attack is a knifing in an alley, which is not that serious. A deliberate fire set in a warehouse on the docks, however, is the pivotal attack. Keir is forced to jump off a building, leading to a concussion and amnesia. The amnesia wipes away his memory of the entire week spent in London and of Merritt.
As soon as I saw the amnesia trope, my heart sank. I’m not a fan of amnesia in stories since it’s rarely well done. But I was pleasantly surprised by how this was handled. Now it could be because of Kleypas’s skill as a writer or because of cameos by key characters from the original Wallflower series. Or more plausibly, because of how the aftermath of Keir’s memory recovery was treated. Either way, the amnesia situation in Merritt’s and Keir’s romance seemed to work.
Following the arson attack, Sebastian moves Keir to his country estate to recover and Merritt insists on accompanying them. The amnesia provides a reset for Merritt's and Keir's relationship. It allows them to start off again without sex clouding their judgement. Keir’s recovery period offers a new dimension to their relationship. A strong, virile man, Keir detests being weak and dependent. But he starts looking forward to Merritt’s presence as she nurses him, and he gets to know and trust her. Meanwhile, he fights a growing attraction to her. He thinks himself socially inferior to her and continues to reject her until he recovers his memory.
The period marking Keir’s memory recovery provides some of the most memorable scenes in the book. The scene where Keir runs back from the coach to Merritt after having flashbacks of the entire week he’d lost. When he calls her Merry again as he did before the fire. When Lilian (Merritt’s mother) walks in on them making love. And when he and Sebastian acquire concrete proof that he is indeed his son.
Sebastian's role in the book is an absolute delight. It is obvious from Sebastian's strange reaction upon first meeting Keir what the big reveal will be: that Keir is his son. It is wonderful seeing Sebastian as a protective, loving, and slightly high-handed father. He is still dangerously good-looking, suave and witty, but the dissolute rake that we knew in Devil in Winter is now all grown up. His wife Evie, Lilian and Marcus also make cameo appearances so it’s a mini-Wallflowers reunion! And Sebastian’s other children, Phoebe, Seraphina, and Ivo from the previous Ravenel books also appear.
Kleypas offers her usual dose of steamy love scenes. Beautiful, sensuous, and tantalizing enough to satisfy readers who enjoy steam, but still tasteful.
Although I really enjoyed the book overall, I have a couple quibbles with it. The suspense parts of it were quite weak, especially the knifing scene in the alley. I don't think the suspense adds much to the plot or the romance. The whole notion of a killer targeting Keir seems like an unnecessary distraction. The killer's motives also seem convoluted. Just having Keir as Sebastian's illegitimate child seems to be enough of a plot twist without requiring all the additional excitement. Otherwise, this seems to be the strongest offering yet (for me) in the Ravenel series....more
(age gap, D/s, opposites attract, boss/assistant, class difference, hurt/comfort)
“Brand was not whole unless he was shepherd to a lamb, and right (age gap, D/s, opposites attract, boss/assistant, class difference, hurt/comfort)
“Brand was not whole unless he was shepherd to a lamb, and right now every soft and tender and vulnerable thing about Ashton Harrington was begging for Brand to protect him, possess him, do for him so that he might never need do for himself again. That hungry thing inside Brand needed someone to depend on him. He’d never wholly understood it—if it was about care or about control or about something else.”
I’ve had His Cocky Valet on my kindle for ages and regret waiting so long to read it. I had no expectations going in but it turned out to be an absolute gem! I’m normally not a fan of D/s kink, but it’s treated exquisitely here. What I love is that the emotional component of the D/s relationship is given in-depth attention without sacrificing the steaminess of the relationship.
Ashton Harrington is the twenty-three-year-old CEO of a multibillion-dollar global corporation. Inexperienced and unprepared, he’s been thrust into the role abruptly as his father lies in a coma dying of cancer. He’s led the carefree life of a rich, spoiled brat who parties hard and sleeps around without compunction. But he’s actually an introspective and thoughtful guy underneath his feckless facade.
Brand Forsythe is an impeccably dressed and scarily efficient British valet. Forty-one-years old, he’s worldly and handsome. He’s the ultimate valet—exceedingly correct, with an imperturbable countenance and intimidating. But he stands out in one vital way: he’s cocky and bossy in a polite way that still manages to drip superciliousness.
Plot Newly thrust into the CEO role, Ashton needs a personal assistant to help him navigate treacherous corporate waters. He’s panicking about his father’s illness—which his father had kept secret—and his complete ignorance about running a global corporation. Brand is recommended to Ashton by his best friend and Ashton hires him even though they get off to a rocky start during his interview.
Romance Ashton and Brand have sex for the first time only three days after meeting, yet their relationship proceeds to develop in a meaningful way. It is by no means a typical case of insta-lust. They both have experience with loss. Brand lost his parents in a car accident when he was eight, and Ashton is dealing with the impending loss of his father. Brand’s empathy while Ashton is dealing with his father’s illness is juxtaposed against his typical stiff, formal manner.
Ashton is naturally insecure and needy. He feels useless and adrift since his entire identity rests on being Calvin Harrington’s son. Brand fills this emotional void with his strong reassuring presence and competence; he also takes care of and anticipates Ashton’s every need, both professionally and personally. And on the flip side, Brand loves to take care of people; his deepest desire is to take care of someone and have that person dependent on him. Brand’s devotion to Ashton and Ashton’s surrender of control to Brand in his personal life unfolds in a natural manner.
Highlights • Ashton’s realization that he craves the freedom of relinquishing control. “I do like it…how it feels,” he admitted, barely able to manage a shaking whisper. “When you take control away from me. And I’m just…small, next to you. Helpless. To everything. To you.”
• The moment Brand articulates his personal desires. “I want you to be dependent on me. I want you to need me until you are helpless without me. I want you to want me to control you.”
• Sweet, tender moments. “And Brand was content to stay like this, so long as he had his young Master safe in his arms. He couldn’t protect him from what was to come, or shield him from the pain it would cause. But he could at least give him shelter and solace, if nothing else.”
• Their teasing, playful banter. “You frightened me near to death, young Master.” “I promise it wasn’t on purpose. This time.” “Unrepentant brat.” “Oversized asshole.”
• Smutty good times. “Every thrust slammed him into the desk; every deep surge of Brand’s cock pushed at him from inside until he could feel it, ridged against his belly where he pressed against the desk; every punishing crash of that hand against his ass made his cock jerk until he was dripping, painfully hard, nearly sobbing for release but his sensitive flesh refusing to let him come again so soon.”...more
“He thought of Balfour touching him, more intimately than anyone had before, or probably would again. “You're beautiful.” Christ Jesus. Th4.5 stars
“He thought of Balfour touching him, more intimately than anyone had before, or probably would again. “You're beautiful.” Christ Jesus. That night—that moment—had been the sweetest of all David's life. And if thinking that made him wicked and bound for hell, he wasn't sure he had it in him to repent.”
Turbulent political times, a dangerous environment for gay men, and compelling characters make for a gripping romance set in the early 1800s in Scotland. I’ve been leery about historical m/m romance so far, but I absolutely loved this.
— m/m historical romance — political turmoil — class differences — opposites attract — closeted gay men — slow burn — age gap — steamy
Characters David Lauriston and Murdo Balfour could not be more different. David is the son of a tenant farmer who has worked hard to become a junior lawyer, while Murdo is the jaded younger son of a marquis.
Plot David and Murdo meet by chance as fellow travelers on the road and have a furtive sexual encounter. They part ways never expecting to meet again. But David’s work representing radicals opposing the government, and Murdo’s mysterious connection to a government agent who infiltrated that same group, reunite them unexpectedly.
Romance Their relationship is tumultuous and they spend more time fighting than anything else. David can’t resist their palpable attraction despite his feelings of guilt and shame. But Murdo revels in sensual pleasures and is unashamed about his sexual orientation. He mocks David self flagellation and noble sentiments for David is idealistic to a fault. Murdo, who is cynical and self interested, is exasperated by David and gives him the most vicious tongue lashings. Yet David also intrigues him like no other. They each break their own rules against entanglements when it comes to each other.
Steam-o-meter: raw and hot
Likes — Beautiful writing. — David and Murdo are wonderfully complex, flawed characters. — Authenticity of their fitful relationship development. — Political/social struggle. — David’s inner conflict re: class/sexuality. — Murdo’s dialogue and verbal takedowns. — Murdo’s possessiveness. — Steamy sex.
Quibble — Would have liked more of Murdo’s POV....more
Nelly S. (on semi-hiatus)
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