Is there anyone who doesn't secretly love stories about King Arthur and Camelot?
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So I've been curious about this story for a while, but I avoidIs there anyone who doesn't secretly love stories about King Arthur and Camelot?
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So I've been curious about this story for a while, but I avoided it because Sean is a good friend. I mean, he named his daughter after me, that's how close we are! Not really. Total coincidence. Roll with it, though, because I like to feel special. Anyway, when it popped up in my feed again the other day, I caved in and added it. So, of course, Sean (because he knows how cheap I am) offered to gift it to me. His only stipulation was that if I trashed his book, I had to make the review funny. About 4% into the book, I was trying to come up with Knock-Knock jokes.
Knock-knock. Who's there? Imma. Imma who? Imma pretty sure Sean's gonna de-friend me after this review. *rim shot*
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Here's the thing, I don't like books that are full of unnecessary description. And as the main character was being introduced, I started getting bogged down by descriptive prose.
The blowing wind made him grateful for the warm glow that emanated from the library's fireplace, an antique structure surrounded by a bronze relief that depicted a parade of ancient gods. In the evening, the fire would cast shadows across the wall, presenting a fierce struggle worthy of those same gods, one that raged until the blaze had burned itself out.
Ok, after reading that, some of you are looking at me like, What's wrong with you?! That's beautiful writing!
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But then some of you, my brothers and sisters in the Move-It-The-Hell-Along sect, are nodding your heads and grimacing.
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My version of those same sentences? Brrr. It's cold. Thank fuck I lit a fire. Boom! Done.
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For those of you who are like me, I want to point out that this is only an issue in the first chapter. After that, shit starts happening. I have a sneaking feeling that Sean's son stole his purple crayon back, and probably drew something Refrigerator-worthy with it. Thank you, Henry!
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Ok. The second problem I had when I started didn't have anything to do with the writing or story. I was actually just having a hard time taking anything Sean wrote seriously. See, he & I both belong to the same comic book club. Now, the other members & I like to think we're getting together to chat about graphic novels, but the reality is that most of what we talk about is simply depraved nonsense. Would you like an extra pat of butter on that blue waffle? And Sean is just as twisted as the rest of us, which makes him about as mature as a queef joke. How do you read a book written by a walking queef!? One of the characters would start to say something important, and my mind would send me off-path. Suddenly, I'm thinking about something ridiculous that Sean had said about creme filled donuts. Heh. Lady creme...
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Anyway. At first, it was hard to stay on track. But then something weird happened about 9% of the way into this sucker. I fucking forgot about Sean! He just sort of disappeared from my mind, and I totally got into the story.
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I should mention that this is set in the... Um? Well, whenever Victoria was queen of England. *cough* Whatever! It'll come to me, eventually.
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Alfred and Will are two middle-aged friends who've known each other for most of their lives. Alfred is a happily married noble, kind of an introvert, and (most importantly) he's one of the premier experts on the Arthurian legend. Will is a respected bookseller, confirmed bachelor, and all-around fun guy. Despite their differences, they're pretty much BFF's. Ok, Alfred's wife is dying, and he's heartbroken that he can't save her. So, when a shady dude claiming he's from a secret agency within the British government corners him at a party and tells him that they need his help to locate King Arthur's scabbard (which is reported to have healing properties), Al can't help but jump on board. Alfred confides his plans in Will and takes off to meet a mysterious figure named Nigel. Right off the bat, you know Nigel is not what he seems...
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In my head, I'm screaming for Alfred to get the hell away from this guy. He's nefarious! Noooo! Don't get bedazzled by his powers! Run, man! RUN! But, it turns out, Will is not entirely what he seems, either. I don't want to spoil anything, but he knows more than he lets on about stuff, and he begins working desperately behind the scenes to protect his friend.
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Now, I'm not an expert on Camelot, so I have no idea about whether the legends used were accurate, or whether Sean just made all that shit up, but it sounded legit when I was reading it. I gobbled it up, and that's all that really mattered.
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This was a surprisingly good story! I mean, just the fact that the main characters were old guys mature men and not 20somethings was a total bonus for me. I'm so sick and tired of everything revolving around youth like somehow you never do anything fun or adventurous after you turn 35. Horseshit! It rocks to get older!
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Alright. That ending. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, Sean? Seriously? That shit is not going to fly, pal. I mean, I get it. It was a total dude-ending. Bro-hug, keep a stiff upper lip, take a drink, and squint your eyes to find the tiny sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.
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No! No way. I want a sequel! I need these two to go on a few more adventures before they hang it up. Get on it!
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Anyway, this was just a great buddy-adventure with a pinch of magic thrown in for good measure. It had pretty much everything I look for in a book. I still can't believe it didn't suck. I mean, it's not some crappy indie turd that my friend banged out on his tablet! Color me shocked. Now, come here and pull my finger, Sean...
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Merged review:
Is there anyone who doesn't secretly love stories about King Arthur and Camelot?
[image]
So I've been curious about this story for a while, but I avoided it because Sean is a good friend. I mean, he named his daughter after me, that's how close we are! Not really. Total coincidence. Roll with it, though, because I like to feel special. Anyway, when it popped up in my feed again the other day, I caved in and added it. So, of course, Sean (because he knows how cheap I am) offered to gift it to me. His only stipulation was that if I trashed his book, I had to make the review funny. About 4% into the book, I was trying to come up with Knock-Knock jokes.
Knock-knock. Who's there? Imma. Imma who? Imma pretty sure Sean's gonna de-friend me after this review. *rim shot*
[image]
Here's the thing, I don't like books that are full of unnecessary description. And as the main character was being introduced, I started getting bogged down by descriptive prose.
The blowing wind made him grateful for the warm glow that emanated from the library's fireplace, an antique structure surrounded by a bronze relief that depicted a parade of ancient gods. In the evening, the fire would cast shadows across the wall, presenting a fierce struggle worthy of those same gods, one that raged until the blaze had burned itself out.
Ok, after reading that, some of you are looking at me like, What's wrong with you?! That's beautiful writing!
[image]
But then some of you, my brothers and sisters in the Move-It-The-Hell-Along sect, are nodding your heads and grimacing.
[image]
My version of those same sentences? Brrr. It's cold. Thank fuck I lit a fire. Boom! Done.
[image]
For those of you who are like me, I want to point out that this is only an issue in the first chapter. After that, shit starts happening. I have a sneaking feeling that Sean's son stole his purple crayon back, and probably drew something Refrigerator-worthy with it. Thank you, Henry!
[image]
Ok. The second problem I had when I started didn't have anything to do with the writing or story. I was actually just having a hard time taking anything Sean wrote seriously. See, he & I both belong to the same comic book club. Now, the other members & I like to think we're getting together to chat about graphic novels, but the reality is that most of what we talk about is simply depraved nonsense. Would you like an extra pat of butter on that blue waffle? And Sean is just as twisted as the rest of us, which makes him about as mature as a queef joke. How do you read a book written by a walking queef!? One of the characters would start to say something important, and my mind would send me off-path. Suddenly, I'm thinking about something ridiculous that Sean had said about creme filled donuts. Heh. Lady creme...
[image]
Anyway. At first, it was hard to stay on track. But then something weird happened about 9% of the way into this sucker. I fucking forgot about Sean! He just sort of disappeared from my mind, and I totally got into the story.
[image]
I should mention that this is set in the... Um? Well, whenever Victoria was queen of England. *cough* Whatever! It'll come to me, eventually.
[image]
Alfred and Will are two middle-aged friends who've known each other for most of their lives. Alfred is a happily married noble, kind of an introvert, and (most importantly) he's one of the premier experts on the Arthurian legend. Will is a respected bookseller, confirmed bachelor, and all-around fun guy. Despite their differences, they're pretty much BFF's. Ok, Alfred's wife is dying, and he's heartbroken that he can't save her. So, when a shady dude claiming he's from a secret agency within the British government corners him at a party and tells him that they need his help to locate King Arthur's scabbard (which is reported to have healing properties), Al can't help but jump on board. Alfred confides his plans in Will and takes off to meet a mysterious figure named Nigel. Right off the bat, you know Nigel is not what he seems...
[image]
In my head, I'm screaming for Alfred to get the hell away from this guy. He's nefarious! Noooo! Don't get bedazzled by his powers! Run, man! RUN! But, it turns out, Will is not entirely what he seems, either. I don't want to spoil anything, but he knows more than he lets on about stuff, and he begins working desperately behind the scenes to protect his friend.
[image]
Now, I'm not an expert on Camelot, so I have no idea about whether the legends used were accurate, or whether Sean just made all that shit up, but it sounded legit when I was reading it. I gobbled it up, and that's all that really mattered.
[image]
This was a surprisingly good story! I mean, just the fact that the main characters were old guys mature men and not 20somethings was a total bonus for me. I'm so sick and tired of everything revolving around youth like somehow you never do anything fun or adventurous after you turn 35. Horseshit! It rocks to get older!
[image]
Alright. That ending. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, Sean? Seriously? That shit is not going to fly, pal. I mean, I get it. It was a total dude-ending. Bro-hug, keep a stiff upper lip, take a drink, and squint your eyes to find the tiny sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.
[image]
No! No way. I want a sequel! I need these two to go on a few more adventures before they hang it up. Get on it!
[image]
Anyway, this was just a great buddy-adventure with a pinch of magic thrown in for good measure. It had pretty much everything I look for in a book. I still can't believe it didn't suck. I mean, it's not some crappy indie turd that my friend banged out on his tablet! Color me shocked. Now, come here and pull my finger, Sean...
Marduk vs Tiamat! Straight outta Ancient Mesopotamia, this action-packed thrill ride (not really) is one of the oldest creation myths that we know abouMarduk vs Tiamat! Straight outta Ancient Mesopotamia, this action-packed thrill ride (not really) is one of the oldest creation myths that we know about. Tune in to hear about waters mingling (wink, wink), an elder god getting pissed about how loud his kids are, and how humans were created as a slave race to feed and clothe the gods. Good stuff.
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Now, this version was the one translated by Leonard William King and (from what I could find) is apparently quite respectable, but I'm not at all an expert. I would assume there are better/more complete translations available now, and I've got my eye on a few that I've already put on my wish list. It's hard for those of us who can't read and write in ancient Sumerian and Akkadian to fully grasp what the smarty-pants people are getting up to on archeological digs, but goddammit, I'm going to give it the old didn't-go-to-college try. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate it.
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The narrator isn't all that fantastic but I can't imagine that "Museum Audiobooks" is really doing a booming business with stuff like this, so I won't complain....more
I guess this is somewhat niche. I don't even know who would need a review for this book but that's never stopped me before.
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So you're getting morI guess this is somewhat niche. I don't even know who would need a review for this book but that's never stopped me before.
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So you're getting more than just the Enuma Elsih here. The introduction and foreword are L.W. King's explanations for the reasoning behind why he and other archaeologists and historians who were translating the Enuma Elish back in 1902 and still piecing together new parts of the puzzle that were coming to light. I'm assuming we probably have more pieces now but it was interesting to see the working theories for what they had and how they got there.
The blurb & cover for the e-book I bought is different from what I could find on Goodreads, so I thought I'd add them here.
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Enuma Elish, the Babylonian version of the story of creation, predates much of the Book of Genesis. Passed down orally for generations until finally being recorded on seven clay tablets, this epic was discovered by 19th-century archeologists among the ruins of the Library of King Ashurbanipal in modern-day Iraq. Translator and editor L.W. King has divided the Seven Tablets of Creation into two volumes, which are combined in this book. In Volume 1, readers will find the English translation of each of the seven tablets, plus sections on the composition of the poem, parallels in Hebrew literature, and the reconstruction and arrangement of the text. In Volume 2, readers will find other accounts of the history of creation, an index, a glossary, and numerous indices and appendices. Religious scholars and anyone interested in human origins will enjoy King's translation of and commentary on this classic, first published in 1902. British classical scholar LEONARD W. KING (1869-1919) was Assistant Keeper of Egyptian and Assyrian Antiquities at the British Museum and professor of Assyrian and Babylonian archaeology at the University of London, King's College. He also wrote Babylonian Magic and Sorcery (1896) and A History of Sumer and Akkad (1910).
Also, that cover is a bit of nothing to do with the Mesopotamian Creation story but looks shockingly like Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors Bible story. I'm...befuddled.
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The Kindle edition I read had all kinds of weird errors and punctuation mistakes, so that was a tad annoying. BUT! A lot of the footnotes King left were in different languages. Like, this is a book for people who know their shit and he wasn't interested in translating every little thing for peasants like myself. But the AWESOME thing about Kindle is that you can highlight something in German or French or whatever language you can't read in, and it will translate it into English. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boom, bitch! I had never used that feature before this book, so I didn't know what I was missing out on. It was also great to be able to hit the link for the footnotes and have them pop up in a little box instead of searching around with your eyeballs in a physical copy. I think those features make the e-reader the way to go for books like this, but I know that type of thinking may be considered blasphemy in some circles. However, my old eyes are tired and if I can't listen to an audiobook, then I appreciate the ability to make the font as GIGANTIC as necessary so I don't have to use my squint-o-vision.
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As I work my way through ancient myths, some of the books are hit or miss and I think the edition I got was mostly a 'miss', especially if you're looking for just the story spelled out for you. I thought it was neat in its own way but I wouldn't recommend this one....more
A mixed bag. Of which, I thought the vast majority were terrible.
The best of the bunch was Brian Azzarello's The Bad Night. You'll have to trek througA mixed bag. Of which, I thought the vast majority were terrible.
The best of the bunch was Brian Azzarello's The Bad Night. You'll have to trek through a lot of crap to get at it, as it's the last story in this collection.
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Jeff Lemire's Silo had his awful scribbling art, but I liked the story of an old farmer and bank robber.
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Gary Philip's The New Me was good as well, but it had a bit of a sci-fi twist at the end that made it seem out of place.
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I expected a lot more out of Brubaker and Philips 21st Century Noir. It was an ok story but it didn't wow me.
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I'm not saying the rest were all dogs but they were either forgettable enough that I don't care to give them a mention, or I thought they sucked. A lot of people seemed to really like this, but it felt like the reading equivalent of a bag of trail mix someone had eaten all of the M&Ms out of - leaving nothing but raisins. Do with that what you will....more
Pulpy goodness all the way through. Ms. Tree takes no prisoners, gives no fucks about the law, and likes to shoot people who piss her off. I was shockePulpy goodness all the way through. Ms. Tree takes no prisoners, gives no fucks about the law, and likes to shoot people who piss her off. I was shocked - and I mean that in the best way possible.
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I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that it took me reading the title of the book out loud to my daughter for me to realize that "Ms. Tree" was a play on words. I may or may not have actually facepalmed myself when it hit me.
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These stories are (I believe) collected from a run in the 80s, so just know that going in and prepare yourself for an odd moment here and there. But I think for the most part these stand the test of time as Ms. Tree rocks it like a boss.
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The very skinny gist is that Ms. Tree is the owner of a very successful P.I. firm with underlings who are smart, supportive, and resourceful. She's the headliner and all-around badass whose name is the selling point of the agency, mainly due to her successful and bloody vendetta against the mob boss who killed her husband. Her stepson lives with her and despite some teenage turmoil, there's some real family love underneath it all.
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There's a bit of a Romeo-Juliet storyline as her stepson and the niece of the mob boss who killed his father have fallen in love. That plays into several of the (comic) issues that bring the two families together and makes for odd bedfellows at times.
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The last few issues deal with Ms. Tree finding out she's pregnant by {spoiler!} and kicking ass while pregnant, and then a kidnapping of her infant daughter where everyone comes together to kick ass and rescue the baby. She does not play when it comes to family, btw.
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Maybe this reflects badly on me, but I love that she is always smiling when she kills someone. I just...I don't know. It liked her more because she didn't feel bad about it. Embrace yourself, I say! I also want to point out how refreshing it was to see a woman portrayed in the same way a man would be when it came to the way she was dressed. She wasn't slinking around in fishnets or a leather bodysuit. Normal clothes! Thank you.
Aw man, I really wanted to like this more than I actually did. Because I love the premise. The Satanic Panic is one of those The Satanic Panic!
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Aw man, I really wanted to like this more than I actually did. Because I love the premise. The Satanic Panic is one of those curious moments in history where we wonder how in the world so many people could have fallen for that nonsense. But having lived through the 80s as a kid in an evangelical household, I can tell you truthfully that the adults were terrified. And those of us young enough to still be influenced by those adults were confused and scared, as well. Ah, the good old days when Geraldo Rivera was reporting on free-range Satanists who were supposedly roaming around raping and eating children or some other equally bananas conspiracies. Bless his heart.
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Brubaker and Phillips take us on a journey that is part crime, part horror, and increasingly realistic in the portrayal of the insanity then and now. The story follows a woman who was one of the children groomed to accuse adults of ritualistic abuse. It flashes backward and forward in time to show how the guilt and infamy that followed her ruined her life and set her on a path toward the seemingly unavoidable conclusion. The undertone of false memories that still seem real to her gave the story a wicked edge that helped walk the line into the maybe supernatural.
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I don't want to give anything away, but I will say that I found the ending extremely flat. In fact, it was so unsatisfying, that I immediately started searching to see if there would be more to this story. But if they're planning to continue, I can't find it.
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Still. The concept and execution right up till the end were good enough that I'd recommend it to anyone who is thinking about grabbing it.
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