Verbal Abuse Quotes

“The words with which a child’s heart is poisoned, whether through malice or through ignorance, remain branded in his memory, and sooner or later they burn his soul.”
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

“The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as
obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to selfishness. Verbal explosions when he is irritated or when he doesn’t get his way. Her grievances constantly turned around on her, so that everything is her own fault. His growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does. And, in many relationships, a mounting sense of fear or intimidation. But the woman also sees that her partner is a human being who can be caring and affectionate at times, and she loves him. She wants to figure out why he gets so upset, so that she can help him break his pattern of ups and downs. She gets drawn into the complexities of his inner world, trying to uncover clues, moving pieces around in an attempt to solve an elaborate puzzle.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Don’t turn your face away.
Once you’ve seen, you can no longer act like you don’t know.
Open your eyes to the truth. It’s all around you.
Don’t deny what the eyes to your soul have revealed to you.

Now that you know, you cannot feign ignorance.
Now that you’re aware of the problem, you cannot pretend you don’t care.
To be concerned is to be human.
To act is to care.”
― Vashti Quiroz-Vega

“The fact of the matter is, if you haven’t been in an abusive relationship, you don’t really know what the experience is like. Furthermore, it’s quite hard to predict what you would do in the same situation. I find that the people most vocal about what they would’ve done in the same situation often have no clue what they are talking about – they have never been in the same situation themselves.
By invalidating the survivor’s experience, these people are defending an image of themselves that they identify with strength, not realizing that abuse survivors are often the strongest individuals out there. They’ve been belittled, criticized, demeaned, devalued, and yet they’ve still survived. The judgmental ones often have little to no life experience regarding these situations, yet they feel quite comfortable silencing the voices of people who’ve actually been there.”
― Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself

“It amazes me when education, religion and family values fail to create a human being.”
― Anum Sattar

“If people keep stepping on you, wear a pointy hat.”
― Joyce Rachelle

“An educational strategy to help you maintain your clear boundaries is the JADE technique. JADE is an acronym and it stands for:

J = Justify: Don’t try to justify yourself to toxic people. It’s unproductive.

A = Argue: Do not waste your energy arguing with toxic people.

D = Defend: Don’t waste your breath trying to defend yourself to those who don’t care.

E = Explain: Never explain yourself, especially to those who discredit you.

The goal of the JADE technique is to take back your power. To stand up for yourself without needing to defend or explain yourself. It’s essential to not engage in this ridiculous mind-game with abusive people.”
― Dana Arcuri, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Soul Rescue: How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse & Heal Trauma

“Ugly and ungainly. The least dependable creature you ever met. Just when you think you understand her, she changes. If only I had a son," he said bitterly.
Over and over he disparaged her, and George would have thought that Beatrice would be so used to it, she could not be hurt further. But he saw her neck grow stiffer and stiffer.”
― Mette Ivie Harrison, The Princess and the Hound

“When you feel the emotional reaction of someone's supposed [verbal] attack, what you're doing is getting them to reflect to you that some portion of yourself feels that way about yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't react. You would just observe it - "oh interesting." - and move on with your day. But if you react to it, it's showing you some part of you actually is buying into this as true.

So say: "Well thank you: Thank you for showing that I was not loving all of myself."

And when you really start doing that, then you may start to see that someone else's attitude toward you may change.”
― Bashar

“Generally, in a verbally abusive relationship the abuser denies the abuse. Verbal abuse most often takes place behind closed doors. Physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse.”
― Patricia Evans, Verbally Abusive Relationship

“At the core of domestic violence is power and control.”
― Asa Don Brown

“I knew it was easier to drill things in than to take them out.'
'It's like a screw!' Craig-Vyvyan shouted.... 'If you pull off it's head, you never get it out.”
― Mark Helprin, Freddy and Fredericka

“A third type of potty mouth is the guy who is verbally abusive. In such relationships, the verbal attacks usually revolve around three themes: her body, her brains, or her previous sexual behavior. By attacking her intelligence, attractiveness, and lack of innocence, the abuser undermines his victim's self-esteem. This causes her to feel strangely bonded to him, as if no one else would desire her....
The reason a guy tears down the self-esteem of a woman is because his self-image is so low...It says nothing about you, your waistline, or your intelligence. It says everything about his own insecurity and interior wounds.”
― Jason Evert, How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

“Domestic violence is never an acceptable form of communication.”
― Asa Don Brown

“To be in the Army, you need to be smart or strong, and you privates ain’t either.”
― Joseph Perry Grassi, The Little Guy (or The Motor Scooter): The story of a diminutive soldier in the rear with the gear

“If you lose them with your words, win them back with your actions.”
― Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words

“Starting over with nothing is honestly more liberating than it is scary. I've had to leave situations with the clothes on my back and my daughter in my arms and that's it and it was so much better to handle the scary parts of change then it was to put up with the abuse.”
― Efrat Cybulkiewicz

“Domestic violence can occur at any socioeconomic level.”
― Asa Don Brown

“Verbal abuse is as damaging as physical abuse, and in some cases, it does even more damage to a child. Insulting names, degrading comments and constant criticism all leave deep emotional scars that hinder feelings of self-worth and personal agency.”
― Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

“abuse doesn’t just happen
in romantic relationships
abuse can live
in friendships too”
― Rupi Kaur, Home Body

“If you are going to fight Gender Based Violence. Fighting it . It doesn't start when you see two opposite gender fighting , but it start with you. On how do you speak to other people. What do you say to other people and how do you behave or act around other people. How do you address other people and how do you respond to other people.”
― De philosopher DJ Kyos

“…Decent motives don’t always produce decent results. And the body is not the only target of rape. Violence does not always take visible form, and not all wounds gush blood.”
― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

“Our science shows us that out of chaos new order arises. Where will the new order come from? It cannot be legislated, nor can it be established through more wars and more Power Over. I believe this new order can arise only out of individual consciousness.
For this reason, the recognition of verbal abuse as a means of controlling, dominating, and having Power Over another person is of real concern to us all.
Since the microcosm of personal relationship influences the macrocosm of civilization just as the civilization — its customs and culture — influences personal relationship, it is in our relationships that we might effect this change.
If so, an opportunity is present today in our everyday lives. It is the opportunity we have to value ourselves and to awaken to the way we express and protect that value in our relationships.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

“I thought the only way I could erase the shame I brought on the family was by finding a man."
The laugh he gave was precise and cruel, Dr. Kohli in a nutshell. "You didn't find a man. You found a child."
Naina refused to wrap her arms around herself. She refused to let him see what his words did.
"The only thing women like you want is someone to control."
"No, that's what men like you want. All I want is a relationship that is not about control."
He spat out another one of those laughs, lighter on the precision this time and heavier on the cruelty. "Doesn't the fact that you can only have that with a man who is twelve years younger than you tell you something?"
Naina's arms went around her.
"Doesn't it tell you that you're fighting nature? All the things you want, how you want to live. It's against nature, against God, against our culture, against any civilized culture. Even though people like you keep trying to bastardize it under the guise of progress." His voice was filled with righteous indignation. The voice of a man who knew everything.
She looked him square in the eye. "Is it not against nature to hate your own child?”
― Sonali Dev, The Emma Project

“Anybody can miss the verbal attack.”
― Tamerlan Kuzgov

“Sometimes simple words can rock your psyche and leave you struggling to find worth in your own life. When those words come from your parents, the scars are deeper and uglier.”
― Courtney M. Privett, Sand into Glass

“Sibling abuse is underreported. It’s common for it to go under the radar. Typically, in early childhood, sibling rivalry can start out with squabbles, disagreements, name-calling, and competition between brothers and sisters. The rivalry is reciprocal. The motive can be for parental attention. Or a dozen other reasons.”
― Dana Arcuri CTRC, Toxic Siblings: A Survival Guide to Rise Above Sibling Abuse & Heal Trauma

“Telling a stutterer to speak up is like telling the lame to get up.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Stamerenophobia