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676 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 18, 2022
“Does it hurt to hear me everywhere you go?”
🌙 rockstar romance
🌙 second chance
🌙 friends to lovers to enemies to lovers
🌙 ‘friends’ with benefits
🌙 bad boy - good girl
🌙 plus size heroine (is this a trope?)
Phoenix’s are supposed to rise from the ashes… But this one wants to burn.
Because I didn’t conquer my demons for some stupid guy or because I wanted acceptance. I did it for me.
Earlier, Lennon told me I was the sun, and I never needed anyone else to shine… but she was wrong. The sun can’t shine when it gets too dark. I drop a kiss to her shoulder blade. But the moon can. Which is what Lennon is for me. My only source of light when everything turns black.
“Officially, I’m your new sober companion.” I’m trying to process this when she leans down. The close proximity, her sweet scent, and her lips touching the shell of my ear have my cock thickening. Until she speaks. “But unofficially? I’m here to ruin you when you least expect it… and I want you stone-cold sober when I do it.”
My hands go to the zipper on my jeans, and I slide them down my hips. I stop undressing when I catch him watching.
“It’s rude to stare.”
“It’s rude that you’re not already naked.”
He once told me that my wedding day would be the best and worst day of his life. When I asked him why, he said it was because he’d be giving me away to someone who loved me just as much as he did...but it also meant he’d be losing me.
Once upon a time, Phoenix Walker made me believe I was special. Then he destroyed me. I won’t give him the opportunity to do it again.
He might burn me, but I’ll go down like Joan of Arc.
Music sets my soul on fire, but she makes my heart beat.
I pin her with a glare that makes her breath catch. “I’m pursuing this.”
I breathe you in and bleed you out.
🎶 Lennon losing weight when she reunites with Phoenix. she’s still not “skinny by society’s standards” according to her book (giving specific sizes which was another thing i think AJ could have just left out) but she still lost a lot of weight and left a bitter taste in my mouth. she could still be her original size, and be happy and desirable.
🎶 obviously the explicit OW drama/sex i could have done without... but it’s AJ, so i have come to expect it at this point, honestly. so it doesn’t really faze me anymore.
🎶 AJ’s usual plot twists just being so bizarre you question your mental stability.
🎶 some of the things Phoenix has the audacity to say and do— the man was a red flag in leather pants with rockstar hair and a lip ring. the way i wanted to throttle him too many times to count (but man, he won me over ahahah, i know im as shocked as you).
🎶 the book could have been a lot shorter. it didn’t need to be 700 odd pages. tbh, for most of the book, i didn’t feel the severe length of it until the last 10-15%. that dragged more than the first 80% ever did. by the end i was getting kinda exhausted and was over it lol. all i cared about was Lennon and Phoenix, not whatever new curveball was thrown at them.
🎶 the plot twist with Lennon’s dad was just too much for me :/
🎶 and honourable mention to the scene where Lennon wakes up to Phoenix’s ONS going down on her 👁👄👁 that shit really had me wondering if i needed psychological evaluation bcos while it was so fucking weird (and i would classify it as SA), i moved on pretty easily lol so... again, i know. go ahead and judge me.
Once upon a time, Phoenix Walker made me believe I was special. Then he destroyed me.
Lennon Michael is my biggest craving and my biggest regret.
’Clutching my other hand, she peers up at me. “Will you tell my brother I love him?”
Storm’s jaw tics. “Dial the dramatics down, Juvie.”
Storm isn’t the warm and fuzzy type and I know Quinn annoys the shit out of him, but that’s just plain heartless.’
“Music sets my soul on fire, but she makes my heart beat.”
“Does it hurt to hear me everywhere you go?”
“because even though my talent crowned me the king of rock…my kingdom was built with her gift.”
“Phoenix’s are supposed to rise from the ashes…
But this one wants to burn.”
Fuck you, Lennon.
I stole your words, but you stole my heart.
"Don’t let your insecurities overpower that which makes your soul come alive. Otherwise, you’ll walk this earth never feeling whole…and that’s no way to live."
"Mistakes don’t define who someone is, Phoenix. It’s what you do after that does."
"Music sets my soul on fire, but she makes my heart beat."
“I don’t want your help,” he says again.
His low, raspy voice is a turbulent current of water, pulling me under. However, it’s the haunting, desperate look in his eyes that’s my undoing.
“But I need it.”
“Both my voice and song are weird,” I warn him.
“I like weird.” Those ice-blue orbs sharpen on me, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. “And I love your voice.”
🌹 he calls her 'Groupie' which is a little offensive... but gets so jealous when his best friend starts calling her Groupie too 🥺
🌹 he taunts her saying he's going to fuck OW, but he phrases it in a way she said four years ago. so i could just think 🥰 he remembers the stuff she says 🥰 get yourself a guy who pays attention to you 🤪
🌹 he makes OW go down on Lennon while she's asleep and he's watching, but he watches her the whole time wishing it was him doing that 🥺💖sexual assault? nope not here!
🌹 he literally fucks everything that moves, but only kisses her 😍 i'm sorry you can blame that one on Christian Allister.
🌹 he covers Lennon with hickeys so that OM know she's his 🤠
🌹 doesn't apologize for YEARS for how he betrayed Lennon, but wrote a bunch of unsent letters saying how much he loved her and missed her 😭
“Officially, I’m your new sober companion. But unofficially? I’m here to ruin you when you least expect it… and I want you stone-cold sober when I do it.”
“Let me get this straight. I’m not allowed to fuck George, but fucking you is fine?”
“Since you’re offering…”
“I’m not.” Pure contempt fills her voice. “Let me put it this way. If I was on fire, and the only way to extinguish it was to have sex with you… I’d beg someone to pour gasoline on me.”
“There are over twenty-five thousand fans waiting inside that arena for you.”
“But the only person who matters to me is sitting right here.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I pin her with a glare that makes her breath catch.
“I’m pursuing this.”
“Does it hurt to hear me everywhere you go?”
Because I’d rather be miserable with her than happy with anyone else.