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Morgan & Grant #1
In the Absence of Light
For years Grant Kessler has smuggled goods from one end of the world to the next. When business turns in a direction Grant isn’t willing to follow he decides to retire and by all appearances he settles down in a nowhere town called Durstrand. But his real plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.
Severely autistic, Morgan cannot look people in the eye, tell left from right, and has uncontrolled tics. Yet he’s beaten every obstacle life has thrown his way. And when Grant Kessler moves into town Morgan isn’t a bit shy in letting the man know how much he wants him.
While the attraction is mutual, Grant pushes Morgan away. Like the rest of the world he can’t see past Morgan’s odd behaviors
Then Morgan shows Grant how light lets you see but it also leaves you blind. And once Grant opens his eyes, he loses his heart to the beautiful enigma of a man who changes the course of his life.
Severely autistic, Morgan cannot look people in the eye, tell left from right, and has uncontrolled tics. Yet he’s beaten every obstacle life has thrown his way. And when Grant Kessler moves into town Morgan isn’t a bit shy in letting the man know how much he wants him.
While the attraction is mutual, Grant pushes Morgan away. Like the rest of the world he can’t see past Morgan’s odd behaviors
Then Morgan shows Grant how light lets you see but it also leaves you blind. And once Grant opens his eyes, he loses his heart to the beautiful enigma of a man who changes the course of his life.
261 pages, Paperback
First published March 25, 2015
About the author
Adrienne Wilder
53 books1,741 followersGeorgia born and bred, I am an artist, a writer, and a general pain in the ass.
I spend most of my days working on my next book or bettering my art.
Writing is my identity and I love every minute of it. It's work, lots of work (sometimes I work 12+ hours a day and I never get a vacation) but I don't regret doing it.
I currently share my house with a myriad of dogs, a few cats, a saltwater aquarium filled with coral and fish, as well as my partner who's great at giving hugs when the day's been rough.
And of course, my editor and PA, who helps me keep life reasonably organized. At least so I won't walk out the door without wearing pants.
I spend most of my days working on my next book or bettering my art.
Writing is my identity and I love every minute of it. It's work, lots of work (sometimes I work 12+ hours a day and I never get a vacation) but I don't regret doing it.
I currently share my house with a myriad of dogs, a few cats, a saltwater aquarium filled with coral and fish, as well as my partner who's great at giving hugs when the day's been rough.
And of course, my editor and PA, who helps me keep life reasonably organized. At least so I won't walk out the door without wearing pants.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 925 reviews
April 14, 2015
5 abundant stars. Full review posted April 6, 2015
My second five-star rating of the year goes to In The Absence of Light by Adrienne Wilder. Readers who know me are aware that this means something.
Even days after I finished this story, I'm still reeling in the aftermath of one of the best reading experiences I've had this year. One word that would sum this book up is… awesome. In The Absence of Light wrecked me but only in the most positive way. I can't remember the last time a story made me tear up so many times. I don't know but I was crying for no apparent reason. Or, let me rephrase that. I was crying over tad writing. It hurt my fucking heart. Wilder's voice and writing are terribly beautiful. There's a little something about it that cut through my heart and made me bleed repeatedly. I'm usually not fond of plenty of narrative but I gotta tip my hat. The narrative in this book is excellent and powerful. It really gave the storyline a compelling forward momentum. Besides, the author has a wonderful talent of making a flawed, not law-abiding character very lovable and encouraged me to believe in redemption for Grant. However, her greatest gift is to evoke a huge amount of emotion from me.
In The Absence of Light is the kind of book I inhale and devour in a heartbeat. I'm so bloody grateful for this outstanding read because I was standing too many times in the absence of light in terms of the quality of books I had to struggle through this year. When the intervals between memorable books are stretching to the point where you feel it's going to be unbearable, you start to scrutinize yourself. Though I think my expectations aren't too high. I just prefer to make a clean break. I think that these days a huge majority of romance books are no more than average or even ridiculously bad and I categorically refuse to hand out a five-star rating to something that is poorly written and can hardly interest me anymore. I said it before and I will say it again. An author has to earn a five-star rating from me and by earning I mean writing an extraordinary book. Adrienne Wilder has done that and managed to captivate me from start to finish. So, that means I owe her a big shout out and a very warm thank-you for having written such a beautiful story that featured two complex and unforgettable characters. In case you think I'm coming off as too vague? I bloody loved it. Very much so.
I have no experience with people on the autism spectrum. But that term "autism spectrum" must be there for a reason. Not everyone who is autistic is afflicted the same way by this disability. Some seem to live a rather "normal" life (what is normal anyway?) and others need a lot of assistance to keep some kind of independence and some aren't able to live on their own at all. Long story short, I don't know how realistic Morgan's portrayal is but you know what? I don't really care because I fell hard for him. I love him the way he is, inside and outside, from the top of his curly, long-ish, blond hair to the tips of his toes. And while his autism was a part of him, it wasn't really front and center. There's so much more to Morgan than his "disability" because his quirky character, his sense of humor and his "flexibility" *cough* but also his artistic talent rendered him unforgettable. Hence, Grant and Morgan formed a wonderful couple and they easily secured themselves a place on my shelf of memorable heroes.
I did enjoy Grant's character growth very much. He really did redeem himself and while the middle part of the story seemed to be a bit too sex-laden for my tastes (yes, it was incredibly hawt, I'll give them that), everything panned out just fine for me when the mystery part played an entertaining role during the final third of the plot. I felt the FBI subplot was enjoyable because it added a nice layer of tension and forced the pace of the plot. By the way, I'd love to read Jeff's story, possibly in the near future.
Minor quibble
The book could have benefitted from better editing/proofreading.
Bottom line, In The Absence of Light has it all: beautiful and thoughtful writing, a riveting storyline, terrific dialogue, more than a pinch of humor, very lovable characters I wouldn't mind meeting in real life who also had interesting background stories, steamy smexy times (that "flexible" blow job was something else *fans self*), artsy references, a great small town setting including a few worthwhile secondary characters and last but not least, a touch of suspense and action.
I'd like to conclude my review with a love letter I wrote on behalf of Grant.
Dear Morgan,
I came to a quiet small town to lay low for a while
Leave my problems behind until
I was ready to take the next step and
Let the sun kiss my cheek on
The sandy beach in a faraway land
Then we ran into each other, literally
I tried to fend off my attraction for you
But it was pointless because, ultimately,
I needed you almost more than you needed me
Touching you meant you connected me to the world
And tasting you meant you
Breathed life into my lungs
You showed me that you were perfect and
For some reason you found me
Worthy of your perfection
I learned what it meant to stand
In the absence of light because
You saw things for me I couldn't see
You blinded my perception of what is normal
I felt ashamed and guilty for being ignorant and scared
And even if I'll never be able to grasp the concept of
Light speaking to you, I can't stop looking at you
Admiring you for what and who you are
Even if I'll never understand what you see, hear or feel
When you are 'gone', hovering in that secret place of yours
I want to dance my fingers in the fragments of light
Together, with you
I want to watch you listening to the light all day long
Study your hands forming and caressing whatever
Material you're working on and
Coaxing sounds out of droplets of colored glass
I thought I knew what love was only to realize
Standing in front of you, I knew nothing
I love you, Morgan Kade
Because you are perfect and beautiful the way you are
You may be autistic, but you are a normal man
With a mental condition
Not a mental condition who is a man
And while the rest of the world isn't ready for them
I am more than ready for you
You are my abundance of light
In case you're still having doubts…don't. Read it--rather sooner than later.
Highly recommended.
My second five-star rating of the year goes to In The Absence of Light by Adrienne Wilder. Readers who know me are aware that this means something.
Even days after I finished this story, I'm still reeling in the aftermath of one of the best reading experiences I've had this year. One word that would sum this book up is… awesome. In The Absence of Light wrecked me but only in the most positive way. I can't remember the last time a story made me tear up so many times. I don't know but I was crying for no apparent reason. Or, let me rephrase that. I was crying over tad writing. It hurt my fucking heart. Wilder's voice and writing are terribly beautiful. There's a little something about it that cut through my heart and made me bleed repeatedly. I'm usually not fond of plenty of narrative but I gotta tip my hat. The narrative in this book is excellent and powerful. It really gave the storyline a compelling forward momentum. Besides, the author has a wonderful talent of making a flawed, not law-abiding character very lovable and encouraged me to believe in redemption for Grant. However, her greatest gift is to evoke a huge amount of emotion from me.
In The Absence of Light is the kind of book I inhale and devour in a heartbeat. I'm so bloody grateful for this outstanding read because I was standing too many times in the absence of light in terms of the quality of books I had to struggle through this year. When the intervals between memorable books are stretching to the point where you feel it's going to be unbearable, you start to scrutinize yourself. Though I think my expectations aren't too high. I just prefer to make a clean break. I think that these days a huge majority of romance books are no more than average or even ridiculously bad and I categorically refuse to hand out a five-star rating to something that is poorly written and can hardly interest me anymore. I said it before and I will say it again. An author has to earn a five-star rating from me and by earning I mean writing an extraordinary book. Adrienne Wilder has done that and managed to captivate me from start to finish. So, that means I owe her a big shout out and a very warm thank-you for having written such a beautiful story that featured two complex and unforgettable characters. In case you think I'm coming off as too vague? I bloody loved it. Very much so.
I have no experience with people on the autism spectrum. But that term "autism spectrum" must be there for a reason. Not everyone who is autistic is afflicted the same way by this disability. Some seem to live a rather "normal" life (what is normal anyway?) and others need a lot of assistance to keep some kind of independence and some aren't able to live on their own at all. Long story short, I don't know how realistic Morgan's portrayal is but you know what? I don't really care because I fell hard for him. I love him the way he is, inside and outside, from the top of his curly, long-ish, blond hair to the tips of his toes. And while his autism was a part of him, it wasn't really front and center. There's so much more to Morgan than his "disability" because his quirky character, his sense of humor and his "flexibility" *cough* but also his artistic talent rendered him unforgettable. Hence, Grant and Morgan formed a wonderful couple and they easily secured themselves a place on my shelf of memorable heroes.
I did enjoy Grant's character growth very much. He really did redeem himself and while the middle part of the story seemed to be a bit too sex-laden for my tastes (yes, it was incredibly hawt, I'll give them that), everything panned out just fine for me when the mystery part played an entertaining role during the final third of the plot. I felt the FBI subplot was enjoyable because it added a nice layer of tension and forced the pace of the plot. By the way, I'd love to read Jeff's story, possibly in the near future.
Minor quibble
The book could have benefitted from better editing/proofreading.
Bottom line, In The Absence of Light has it all: beautiful and thoughtful writing, a riveting storyline, terrific dialogue, more than a pinch of humor, very lovable characters I wouldn't mind meeting in real life who also had interesting background stories, steamy smexy times (that "flexible" blow job was something else *fans self*), artsy references, a great small town setting including a few worthwhile secondary characters and last but not least, a touch of suspense and action.
I'd like to conclude my review with a love letter I wrote on behalf of Grant.
Dear Morgan,
I came to a quiet small town to lay low for a while
Leave my problems behind until
I was ready to take the next step and
Let the sun kiss my cheek on
The sandy beach in a faraway land
Then we ran into each other, literally
I tried to fend off my attraction for you
But it was pointless because, ultimately,
I needed you almost more than you needed me
Touching you meant you connected me to the world
And tasting you meant you
Breathed life into my lungs
You showed me that you were perfect and
For some reason you found me
Worthy of your perfection
I learned what it meant to stand
In the absence of light because
You saw things for me I couldn't see
You blinded my perception of what is normal
I felt ashamed and guilty for being ignorant and scared
And even if I'll never be able to grasp the concept of
Light speaking to you, I can't stop looking at you
Admiring you for what and who you are
Even if I'll never understand what you see, hear or feel
When you are 'gone', hovering in that secret place of yours
I want to dance my fingers in the fragments of light
Together, with you
I want to watch you listening to the light all day long
Study your hands forming and caressing whatever
Material you're working on and
Coaxing sounds out of droplets of colored glass
I thought I knew what love was only to realize
Standing in front of you, I knew nothing
I love you, Morgan Kade
Because you are perfect and beautiful the way you are
You may be autistic, but you are a normal man
With a mental condition
Not a mental condition who is a man
And while the rest of the world isn't ready for them
I am more than ready for you
You are my abundance of light
In case you're still having doubts…don't. Read it--rather sooner than later.
Highly recommended.
October 24, 2020
** REREAD Oct. 2020 **
ME: I'll just quickly skim through the first book for a refresher, then start the new one, "By the Light of Dawn (In the Absence of Light #2)".
ALSO ME: Why am I NOT SKIPPING ANY PAGES at all? OMG, this has turned into an all-out reread -- which I quite literally NEVER EVER EVER EVER DO!!!
-----------------------------------------------
This story was truly an unexpected pleasure.
The romance and feels between 36 y.o. Grant and 24 y.o. Morgan were pretty on point. And the parts in the story showing Morgan that Grant *truly* saw the real person that he was, underneath his tics and often-odd behavior, were just so sweet and touching.
There was also plenty of humor, with autistic Morgan mentally besting 'better' men at several turns. God, the toothpicks and 'statue of liberty' bits had me rolling.
I kept thinking, "Oh goodie (rubs-hands-together), here it comes again. Is this person going to fall for Morgan's latest trick?," which was so much fun.
But Grant tended to give as well as Morgan, so they felt well-balanced, evenly-matched in all aspects of their relationship. Like two pieces of a puzzle, they just locked and that was that, no need for discussion. It just was.
The FBI and past smuggling parts of the story did help keep things lively, but if I'm being 100% honest, I could have done without most of those 'intrigue' parts of the book. Even when I was a little kid, I never had much interest in playing cops and robbers. It was just never my thing, so reading it (many) years later, is usually either a 'meh' or a 'nah' for me.
The sexy bits were pretty smoking and they began early on in the story, so if that's your thing, this story should make you pretty happy.
The one thing that I really wanted answered in significantly more detail was, "What *exactly* does 'the light' say to Morgan? What can he 'hear'?" Yes, he seems especially perceptive, but is it more than that? Toward the end of the story, it seems that he may actually possess some sort of clairvoyant ability. Or something. I just really wanted to know more there.
While reading the story and posting comments, I had several Goodreads friends mentioning that they were being tempted to re-read the story again. And after finishing the story, I can now see why. The book was truly a treat and I'd rate it a solid 4.5 stars.
-----------------------------------------------
** This story is a *FREE* read with Kindle Unlimited membership.
February 28, 2016
5 A Dog Isn't a Hobby Stars
So, not gonna lie, I tend to be somewhat cold and heartless when it comes tolife books.
So typically, when I read a book that it supposed to make me like this:
I have come to expect I will end up being more like this:
I have just accepted the fact that my manufacturer forgot to install my sensitivity chip.
Oh well.
So it is with great pleasure that I get to say that this book had me all like this for once:
Seriously.
What a beautiful story.
Grant was a really interesting character. Painted as a sort of "moral criminal," watching his personal evolution as the story progressed was a really cool journey to witness.
And Morgan?
I. Loved. Him.
Watching Morgan and Grant interact and come together was really beautiful.
In fact, I just thought the story as a whole was beautiful.
It had so many elements I love:
- Slow building, realistic love
- Quirky, fleshed out main characters
- Tangible side characters that added to the story without overwhelming it
- A GREAT setting that almost acts as its own character
- Great writing
My only complaint was...certain word usages.
Well, just two actually...
Examples included.
1) The Word "Bark"
"I barked out a cry, and right at the edge of release, Morgan stopped."
"I barked out a cry, and he drank it from my lips..."
"Morgan barked out in pleasure again and again."
"I barked out in surprise, but it quickly turned into an agonizing groan."
Now, call me crazy, but when I read the word "bark" - in sex scenes - it took me right from this...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
To this:
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
2) The Word "Squelch"
I feel like I don't even need to explain this one, but I will let some more quotes speak for themselves...
"The squelch of lubricant let me know exactly what he did."
"It added to the obscene squelch of my fingers moving in and out of his body."
"His entire body shuddered, and more pre-cum bled from his slit until the foreskin squelched ."
First thought?
*
*
*
*
*
Second thought?
With all the barking and the squelching (for realz though I wanna wash my hands even typing that ), all it makes me think of...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Other than that, great book.
I will definitely look forward to more from this author.
So, not gonna lie, I tend to be somewhat cold and heartless when it comes to
So typically, when I read a book that it supposed to make me like this:
I have come to expect I will end up being more like this:
I have just accepted the fact that my manufacturer forgot to install my sensitivity chip.
Oh well.
So it is with great pleasure that I get to say that this book had me all like this for once:
Seriously.
What a beautiful story.
Grant was a really interesting character. Painted as a sort of "moral criminal," watching his personal evolution as the story progressed was a really cool journey to witness.
And Morgan?
I. Loved. Him.
"Morgan's just like any other guy his age. He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even see things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."
Watching Morgan and Grant interact and come together was really beautiful.
In fact, I just thought the story as a whole was beautiful.
It had so many elements I love:
- Slow building, realistic love
- Quirky, fleshed out main characters
- Tangible side characters that added to the story without overwhelming it
- A GREAT setting that almost acts as its own character
- Great writing
My only complaint was...certain word usages.
Well, just two actually...
Examples included.
1) The Word "Bark"
"I barked out a cry, and right at the edge of release, Morgan stopped."
"I barked out a cry, and he drank it from my lips..."
"Morgan barked out in pleasure again and again."
"I barked out in surprise, but it quickly turned into an agonizing groan."
Now, call me crazy, but when I read the word "bark" - in sex scenes - it took me right from this...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
To this:
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
2) The Word "Squelch"
I feel like I don't even need to explain this one, but I will let some more quotes speak for themselves...
"The squelch of lubricant let me know exactly what he did."
"It added to the obscene squelch of my fingers moving in and out of his body."
"His entire body shuddered, and more pre-cum bled from his slit until the foreskin squelched ."
First thought?
*
*
*
*
*
Second thought?
With all the barking and the squelching (for realz though I wanna wash my hands even typing that ), all it makes me think of...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Other than that, great book.
I will definitely look forward to more from this author.
April 8, 2015
~3.75~
So many amazing review of this book have already been posted. I spent a good while reading all of them. I'm torn, you see.
Because as much as I loved the connection between Morgan and Grant, I thought the many sub-plots dragged the book down a bit.
I loved Morgan and Grant, but the FBI plot was distracting and tedious.
We had the drama regarding Grant and Jeff's former relationship; the mystery that was Grant's shipping business; the FBI good guys; the FBI BAD guys; Morgan's psychopathic ex (the final resolution really came out of left field); Morgan's mysterious bank account; all THIS and small-town bullying and homophobia.
It was too much, and it smothered a beautiful story about two broken men coming together in love and passion.
The sex scenes in this book were some of the best I've ever read: SENSUAL, erotic, insanely sexy, at once tender and dirty. PERFECTION.
I loved Morgan's brilliance, his fierce independence, his snarky sense of humor. And I loved Grant, who in some ways needed Morgan far more than Morgan needed him.
I also enjoyed the small-town gossip, the (*ahem*) ACTION at the drive-in theater, Jessie the barman, and Jenny who did her best by Morgan.
I wanted more quiet times between Grant and Morgan, a deeper exploration of their relationship.
Some of the conversations Grant had with his lawyer or Jeff dragged on for pages. Far too much page time was given to Jeff in general. His numerous visits were boring and unnecessary. I was over Jeff. (I would still read his story, though, cause that's just the way I roll.)
Also, I have to mention that there are numerous typos and misplaced modifiers in this book. Tighter editing would have gone a long way toward making a very good story even better.
Despite my niggles, I recommend this book. In the Absence of Light is absolutely worth reading. There is a great deal of angst, but there is RADIANCE too.
So many amazing review of this book have already been posted. I spent a good while reading all of them. I'm torn, you see.
Because as much as I loved the connection between Morgan and Grant, I thought the many sub-plots dragged the book down a bit.
I loved Morgan and Grant, but the FBI plot was distracting and tedious.
We had the drama regarding Grant and Jeff's former relationship; the mystery that was Grant's shipping business; the FBI good guys; the FBI BAD guys; Morgan's psychopathic ex (the final resolution really came out of left field); Morgan's mysterious bank account; all THIS and small-town bullying and homophobia.
It was too much, and it smothered a beautiful story about two broken men coming together in love and passion.
The sex scenes in this book were some of the best I've ever read: SENSUAL, erotic, insanely sexy, at once tender and dirty. PERFECTION.
I loved Morgan's brilliance, his fierce independence, his snarky sense of humor. And I loved Grant, who in some ways needed Morgan far more than Morgan needed him.
I also enjoyed the small-town gossip, the (*ahem*) ACTION at the drive-in theater, Jessie the barman, and Jenny who did her best by Morgan.
I wanted more quiet times between Grant and Morgan, a deeper exploration of their relationship.
Some of the conversations Grant had with his lawyer or Jeff dragged on for pages. Far too much page time was given to Jeff in general. His numerous visits were boring and unnecessary. I was over Jeff. (I would still read his story, though, cause that's just the way I roll.)
Also, I have to mention that there are numerous typos and misplaced modifiers in this book. Tighter editing would have gone a long way toward making a very good story even better.
Despite my niggles, I recommend this book. In the Absence of Light is absolutely worth reading. There is a great deal of angst, but there is RADIANCE too.
"There will never be anyone like you, Morgan ... Never, not in a million years or a million lifetimes, will there be anyone else who has what I want."
January 19, 2016
This book taught me a very valuable lesson: When EVERYONE and their uncle tells you to "READ THIS FUCKING BOOK," you do it. Put down everything else and read. Because, honestly? If I'd have read this book in the middle of 2015, my top 10 list for 2015 would have been different.
I'm not quite sure what I can say about In the Absence of Light that hasn't already been said. I loved how fiercely Grant loved Morgan. I loved Morgan's dry humor and how he saw the world. I loved the raunchy, dirty, frantic sex. I loved the roller-coaster-ride mystery of Grant's involvement with the FBI and his relationship with chameleon Jeff. I loved the busybody townspeople. I loved how Adrienne Wilder wrapped everything up at the end and gave everyone a ridiculously mushy HEA.
Like the fragments of light he chased, he mapped my features with his touch.
“There will never be anyone like you, Morgan.”
He closed his eyes for a moment.
“Never, not in a million years or a million lifetimes, will there be anyone else who has what I want.”
This is one of the most powerful, beautiful books I have ever read. A must-read. I can't recommend it highly enough.
September 25, 2020
Oh my God...this book...almost killed me. I loved it so freaking much. One page I was crying and the next I was laughing my ass off. It was incredible. Morgan was awesome !! He was such an amazing character. Now Morgan and Grant together...HAWT as Hell !!!
Damn...it was good. It made me feel so much. I made me happy..sad..anxious and it made me
I should not have read this book at my parent's house though;)
I could have done without the whole FBI stuff...but it was nice to have some suspense in there as well. I know some people who are autistic...but not with the tics. I had so much respect for Morgan. He is one of the best characters I've read about and this book is definitely one of the greatest books I've read ever !!
September 29, 2020
Reread since book 2 will be out in a few weeks! My original review stands. Such a beautiful story.
Original review - Jan 2017
4.5 Stars
Wow. I bought In the Absence of Light back in April 2015, but managed to not read it before now. I know, insane, right? I recall the reviews being stellar, and there was just something about the cover that drew me in. The colors, the composition, the reflections - it's a gorgeous cover - and now that I've read the book, the cover has taken on even more meaning. The story inside In the Absence of Light is even more beautiful than even the cover indicates. I definitely need to check out Adrienne Wilder's other books!
In the Absence of Light is an amazing piece of gorgeous storytelling. With misunderstood, and slightly dented, heroes, and a single-minded determination to just be who they are, even in a small town, the MC's both just stole my heart.
Grant Kessler moved to Durstrand to bide his time until he can risk accessing his offshore bank accounts and leave the country. He hasn't exactly lived his life in an honest way, but he does have a moral code. Between being hounded by the FBI, including one former undercover agent whom Grant fell for, and because the rules of were changing in a way that he couldn't reconcile with his conscience, Grant got tired of the game and decided to stop playing. Durstrand is a small, middle of nowhere town, which is just the change of pace Grant needs after living in Chicago for half his life. And it is in local bar call Toolies that Grant first lays eyes on Morgan.
Everyone underestimates Morgan Kade because of his autism. They assume he is mentally a child or incapable of taking care of himself and he cleverly shows them all just how wrong they are. Grant was no different in those assumptions than anyone else, at first, but he learns, mostly because Morgan can be uniquely manipulative when he wants to make a point. At 24 years old, Morgan isn't a child and he won't tolerate being treated like one. He also isn't afraid to go after what he wants and he isn't afraid to assert himself. In fact, there is only one thing Morgan has any real fear of, and unfortunately he has to face that fear in this story. Heartbreaking.
Grant is worldly and yeah he's done many illegal things, some of which he isn't exactly proud of, but he's not nearly the asshole he pretends to be. He has trust issues, though, and with good reason. His father threw him out when he was 15, because of the gay, and after that, his role models weren't much better. At first Grant feels guilty for being attracted to Morgan, because all he really sees are Morgan's tics. It takes a very perceptive Morgan and some darkness to really show Grant who Morgan really is. And I've gotta say, that was really kind of brilliant of Morgan.
I loved In the Absence of Light so much. Morgan is misunderstood and Grant's trust is a bit dented and together they just fit. Their smexytimes are smokin' hot, too; not only is Morgan super toppy (even when he bottoms) he is also bendy - impressively so. Yum.
What took me so long to read this book?! I am happy to have remedied that oversight.
Highly recommended.
Original review - Jan 2017
4.5 Stars
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”
Wow. I bought In the Absence of Light back in April 2015, but managed to not read it before now. I know, insane, right? I recall the reviews being stellar, and there was just something about the cover that drew me in. The colors, the composition, the reflections - it's a gorgeous cover - and now that I've read the book, the cover has taken on even more meaning. The story inside In the Absence of Light is even more beautiful than even the cover indicates. I definitely need to check out Adrienne Wilder's other books!
In the Absence of Light is an amazing piece of gorgeous storytelling. With misunderstood, and slightly dented, heroes, and a single-minded determination to just be who they are, even in a small town, the MC's both just stole my heart.
Grant Kessler moved to Durstrand to bide his time until he can risk accessing his offshore bank accounts and leave the country. He hasn't exactly lived his life in an honest way, but he does have a moral code. Between being hounded by the FBI, including one former undercover agent whom Grant fell for, and because the rules of were changing in a way that he couldn't reconcile with his conscience, Grant got tired of the game and decided to stop playing. Durstrand is a small, middle of nowhere town, which is just the change of pace Grant needs after living in Chicago for half his life. And it is in local bar call Toolies that Grant first lays eyes on Morgan.
Everyone underestimates Morgan Kade because of his autism. They assume he is mentally a child or incapable of taking care of himself and he cleverly shows them all just how wrong they are. Grant was no different in those assumptions than anyone else, at first, but he learns, mostly because Morgan can be uniquely manipulative when he wants to make a point. At 24 years old, Morgan isn't a child and he won't tolerate being treated like one. He also isn't afraid to go after what he wants and he isn't afraid to assert himself. In fact, there is only one thing Morgan has any real fear of, and unfortunately he has to face that fear in this story. Heartbreaking.
Grant is worldly and yeah he's done many illegal things, some of which he isn't exactly proud of, but he's not nearly the asshole he pretends to be. He has trust issues, though, and with good reason. His father threw him out when he was 15, because of the gay, and after that, his role models weren't much better. At first Grant feels guilty for being attracted to Morgan, because all he really sees are Morgan's tics. It takes a very perceptive Morgan and some darkness to really show Grant who Morgan really is. And I've gotta say, that was really kind of brilliant of Morgan.
I loved In the Absence of Light so much. Morgan is misunderstood and Grant's trust is a bit dented and together they just fit. Their smexytimes are smokin' hot, too; not only is Morgan super toppy (even when he bottoms) he is also bendy - impressively so. Yum.
What took me so long to read this book?! I am happy to have remedied that oversight.
Highly recommended.
May 5, 2015
I'd give this one 10 stars if I could. ❤
I’ve been thinking a lot about this book, about Morgan, about Grant, about their love. Their story has invaded my thoughts allowing me to linger with them just a little bit more because I didn’t want their story to end. My greedy side would have loved just a few more pages, a few more moments but the last chapter was just as wonderful as the first so I am a happy girl.
It only took one review for me to one click In The Absence of Light. It is such a beautiful one too. And once I started the book I quickly realized that it would be a book that would be something special. And it was. But it was more than just special. It was remarkable.
Morgan ~ he is at the heart of this book. He is a beautiful man. An autistic man. He is different. He is also charming, funny, vulnerable, passionate, sexy and (it is worth repeating) beautiful.
“I can give you what I have, but I can never give you everything.”
Grant ~ This guy surprised me a little. My heart was so wrapped up with Morgan that it took me a little longer to see his beauty too. Even with the uncertainty he felt when it came to Morgan you could also sense his resolve.
“Because you’re perfect and for some reason you find me worthy of your perfection. Because you’re a gift and I will not let you forget that.”
From the blurb you know that Morgan is autistic. This story brings you into his world. You learn of all the challenges Morgan has been faced with in the past and the challenges he faces each day. And when Grant enters his world we find out that there is so much more to this man than what everyone thinks they see.
Grant and Morgan’s relationship begins when Grant steps in to protect Morgan from some ignorant men. He had no clue who Morgan was and that he was very capable of taking care of himself but he finds himself drawn to Morgan. Little by little Grants sees the color in Morgan’s life and wonders if HE would ever be the man that Morgan deserved.
It was a slow progression with Morgan and Grant’s relationship. I loved watching Morgan reveal little pieces of himself to Grant. He was such a sweet man. He was also funny too. I loved it when he left Grant standing there befuddled.
But when a part of Grant’s life bleeds into his relationship with Morgan everything begins to unravel. He is paralyzed when he sees the pain this causes the man he loves. He can’t lose him and his love is about to be tested.
This was such an amazing book. It is definitely one of my favorites so far this year. I loved the originality of the story line and the emotions that it made me feel. And if you are wondering, the sex was HOT and I loved that too.
I'm not sure my review did this book justice. I didn't want to give away too much but I hope I have given you enough to want to read this book. If it isn't already on your TBR you MUST add it. And if you do have it on your list don't wait too long to read it. ❤
I’ve been thinking a lot about this book, about Morgan, about Grant, about their love. Their story has invaded my thoughts allowing me to linger with them just a little bit more because I didn’t want their story to end. My greedy side would have loved just a few more pages, a few more moments but the last chapter was just as wonderful as the first so I am a happy girl.
It only took one review for me to one click In The Absence of Light. It is such a beautiful one too. And once I started the book I quickly realized that it would be a book that would be something special. And it was. But it was more than just special. It was remarkable.
Morgan ~ he is at the heart of this book. He is a beautiful man. An autistic man. He is different. He is also charming, funny, vulnerable, passionate, sexy and (it is worth repeating) beautiful.
“I can give you what I have, but I can never give you everything.”
Grant ~ This guy surprised me a little. My heart was so wrapped up with Morgan that it took me a little longer to see his beauty too. Even with the uncertainty he felt when it came to Morgan you could also sense his resolve.
“Because you’re perfect and for some reason you find me worthy of your perfection. Because you’re a gift and I will not let you forget that.”
From the blurb you know that Morgan is autistic. This story brings you into his world. You learn of all the challenges Morgan has been faced with in the past and the challenges he faces each day. And when Grant enters his world we find out that there is so much more to this man than what everyone thinks they see.
Grant and Morgan’s relationship begins when Grant steps in to protect Morgan from some ignorant men. He had no clue who Morgan was and that he was very capable of taking care of himself but he finds himself drawn to Morgan. Little by little Grants sees the color in Morgan’s life and wonders if HE would ever be the man that Morgan deserved.
It was a slow progression with Morgan and Grant’s relationship. I loved watching Morgan reveal little pieces of himself to Grant. He was such a sweet man. He was also funny too. I loved it when he left Grant standing there befuddled.
But when a part of Grant’s life bleeds into his relationship with Morgan everything begins to unravel. He is paralyzed when he sees the pain this causes the man he loves. He can’t lose him and his love is about to be tested.
This was such an amazing book. It is definitely one of my favorites so far this year. I loved the originality of the story line and the emotions that it made me feel. And if you are wondering, the sex was HOT and I loved that too.
I'm not sure my review did this book justice. I didn't want to give away too much but I hope I have given you enough to want to read this book. If it isn't already on your TBR you MUST add it. And if you do have it on your list don't wait too long to read it. ❤
April 13, 2015
The pov is quite shallow first person, and then there's the odd line where I can see Wilder is trying to reach for something heartbreaking and magical, but for me every line is missing its mark. I'm aware of the construction, rather than it going straight through to the gap in my soul
Also, you know what? The first third really irritated me. It was like playing Dungeons & Dragons where you literally go to the tavern to get backstory and rumours that may help you on your quest. So Grant meets Morgan, and then speaks to a variety of down-home compassionate folk at the hardware store, mechanic, and, yes, tavern, who fill him in on Morgan's sad, sad life. And tell him it's okdiddlyday to fuck Morgan. This whole section seemed so clumsy and forced. Artificial. Too much exposition in a series of clumps.
I skimmed from 35% onward, but this was just not my book.
I think the timing is off, for me.
Also, you know what? The first third really irritated me. It was like playing Dungeons & Dragons where you literally go to the tavern to get backstory and rumours that may help you on your quest. So Grant meets Morgan, and then speaks to a variety of down-home compassionate folk at the hardware store, mechanic, and, yes, tavern, who fill him in on Morgan's sad, sad life. And tell him it's okdiddlyday to fuck Morgan. This whole section seemed so clumsy and forced. Artificial. Too much exposition in a series of clumps.
I skimmed from 35% onward, but this was just not my book.
I think the timing is off, for me.
July 5, 2015
I must admit about 30% in this book and I said to myself, "Shite, Sharon is going to hate me for not loving it as much as she did." Thanks Sharon for the recommendation and the gift. Headed off to a concert last night. Got back around midnight and started reading again. Stayed up until 3.30 reading it.... started loving it. Finished it this afternoon and I absolutely loved it, maybe not the beginning but the second half of the book just got to me.
Morgan. Yep, I fell a little bit in love with you every step of the book. I do thank God for my healthy, "normal" children. But tell me something? What the hell is "normal"? Who's to say my life wouldn't be tenfold better if I did have a child with special needs? I haven't had any experience with people with autism ... My husband has. He works in a school that has a Special Needs department and he says the kids with autism are great. They are smart, loving, giving.
Grant is older than Morgan. There is an attraction but Grant wants to fight it because he sees that Morgan is not "normal"! But Morgan teaches him a thing or two. God, Morgan was wonderful. Truly he was. He did not let his disabilities 'disable' him. He had a job, he lived alone.
Some reviewers gave lower ratings as they were not happy with the subplot going on. Grant's FBI "friends", that background story. For me, that upped the rating of the book. I usually love a bit of mystery and suspense in books so this whole backdrop of Grant's previous life was great.
Jeff. God, I fucking hated you for most of the book ... but ...
Such wisdom.
GRANT
I will end my review by stating that I am a proud Irishwomn as our country, our Catholic country, at that, voted in a referendum to approve changing the Constitution to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples. Unfortunately the small village where I grew up voted "No". It's no wonder I left there over 25 years ago. "Small town minds" - yes they still exist.
For years Grant Kessler has smuggled goods from one end of the world to the next. When business turns in a direction Grant isn’t willing to follow he decides to retire and by all appearances he settles down in a nowhere town called Durstrand. But his real plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.
Morgan. Yep, I fell a little bit in love with you every step of the book. I do thank God for my healthy, "normal" children. But tell me something? What the hell is "normal"? Who's to say my life wouldn't be tenfold better if I did have a child with special needs? I haven't had any experience with people with autism ... My husband has. He works in a school that has a Special Needs department and he says the kids with autism are great. They are smart, loving, giving.
Grant is older than Morgan. There is an attraction but Grant wants to fight it because he sees that Morgan is not "normal"! But Morgan teaches him a thing or two. God, Morgan was wonderful. Truly he was. He did not let his disabilities 'disable' him. He had a job, he lived alone.
It was only a tear, but it might as well have been a river ...
Some reviewers gave lower ratings as they were not happy with the subplot going on. Grant's FBI "friends", that background story. For me, that upped the rating of the book. I usually love a bit of mystery and suspense in books so this whole backdrop of Grant's previous life was great.
Jeff. God, I fucking hated you for most of the book ... but ...
"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us."
Such wisdom.
Dressed in ragged jeans and a t-shirt he resembled one of those barely legal models for those high-end clothing stores ...
And in all my years, I'd never kissed anyone like I did him. I never wanted to. But Morgan wasn't just anyone ...
GRANT
I will end my review by stating that I am a proud Irishwomn as our country, our Catholic country, at that, voted in a referendum to approve changing the Constitution to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples. Unfortunately the small village where I grew up voted "No". It's no wonder I left there over 25 years ago. "Small town minds" - yes they still exist.
April 4, 2015
Short version:
The truth lies in what you are not seeing.
An unexpected adventure in a sleepy Southern town where a man on the run finds more than a place to lie low. He finds a reason to lay down roots. A place where an autistic power bottom, happy cows, and symphonies in light all make perfect sense.
This is fast paced, charming, emotional, SEXY--like Wow!, and entertaining. It makes you believe in happy endings after long trials. A hard won HEA is always sweeter, and this is sweeter than sweet tea.
Long version:
The truth lies in what you are not seeing.
Morgan, brilliance trapped in a form that can't always do what he wants. Frustration, aggravation, underestimated, belittled, mocked, and determined. He won't be pitied. He lives how he wants. Like many who are trapped in the liminal spaces of society, he sees things others don't.
Grant is lying low biding his time. Exchanging an ever-increasing lethal past for a future. Future dreams that he is waiting to collect. Well, the future is much different than he expected, but more than he ever dreamed.
Then there's the town of Durstrand and all it's inhabitants. They are a colorful crew that provide the depth and walls for Morgan and Grant to bounce off of. That and the past that's followed Grant makes for a fast paced read as trouble comes south.
I loved Morgan. His fortitude is amazing and he's got a wicked sense of humor. He's so smart that he runs circles around folks. He's beautiful and he's damaged--BUT, that doesn't make him imperfect. And it certainly doesn't make him unworthy.
Morgan is self sufficient, and aggressive when he needs or wants to be. Frankly, autistic power bottom is not a phrase I thought I'd be comfortable using, but nonetheless, it's true here. Morgan is damn sexy. I'm not the only one who thinks so, he's got a whole fan club.
Part of me is always hesitant of marginalized main characters because I'm worried that an author is using it to sensationalize the story. Wilder has written several books that have marginalized characters and each has been treated as a whole person, not a subset of symptoms. And in this case, worry would have been for naught. Morgan is autistic. Granted, he is high functioning and social in most instances. But, Morgan himself is more important than the label autistic. He is so much more.
The title is clever, a play on both Morgan and his art. Morgan sees light in ways most don't; he doesn't just break it down into waves of color, but how those waves move. The song they play is just for him. I don't think anyone is completely suppose to understand his art, it is a conversation he alone has with it. An intriguing interaction that is a vital component of who he is.
This is an emotional book that plays with trust and how fragile it is. How fragile we are when it is broken.
There are quiet moments of epiphany for both Grant and Morgan. They give each other something neither has ever had. Simply, it is a beautiful romance.
Overall, a Southern suspense that has heart and humor.
Favorite quote
GUEST REVIEWED AT:
The truth lies in what you are not seeing.
An unexpected adventure in a sleepy Southern town where a man on the run finds more than a place to lie low. He finds a reason to lay down roots. A place where an autistic power bottom, happy cows, and symphonies in light all make perfect sense.
This is fast paced, charming, emotional, SEXY--like Wow!, and entertaining. It makes you believe in happy endings after long trials. A hard won HEA is always sweeter, and this is sweeter than sweet tea.
Long version:
The truth lies in what you are not seeing.
Morgan, brilliance trapped in a form that can't always do what he wants. Frustration, aggravation, underestimated, belittled, mocked, and determined. He won't be pitied. He lives how he wants. Like many who are trapped in the liminal spaces of society, he sees things others don't.
Grant is lying low biding his time. Exchanging an ever-increasing lethal past for a future. Future dreams that he is waiting to collect. Well, the future is much different than he expected, but more than he ever dreamed.
Then there's the town of Durstrand and all it's inhabitants. They are a colorful crew that provide the depth and walls for Morgan and Grant to bounce off of. That and the past that's followed Grant makes for a fast paced read as trouble comes south.
I loved Morgan. His fortitude is amazing and he's got a wicked sense of humor. He's so smart that he runs circles around folks. He's beautiful and he's damaged--BUT, that doesn't make him imperfect. And it certainly doesn't make him unworthy.
Morgan is self sufficient, and aggressive when he needs or wants to be. Frankly, autistic power bottom is not a phrase I thought I'd be comfortable using, but nonetheless, it's true here. Morgan is damn sexy. I'm not the only one who thinks so, he's got a whole fan club.
Part of me is always hesitant of marginalized main characters because I'm worried that an author is using it to sensationalize the story. Wilder has written several books that have marginalized characters and each has been treated as a whole person, not a subset of symptoms. And in this case, worry would have been for naught. Morgan is autistic. Granted, he is high functioning and social in most instances. But, Morgan himself is more important than the label autistic. He is so much more.
The title is clever, a play on both Morgan and his art. Morgan sees light in ways most don't; he doesn't just break it down into waves of color, but how those waves move. The song they play is just for him. I don't think anyone is completely suppose to understand his art, it is a conversation he alone has with it. An intriguing interaction that is a vital component of who he is.
This is an emotional book that plays with trust and how fragile it is. How fragile we are when it is broken.
Trust is what’s hard. Broken hearts can be fixed. Broken trust?” His touch followed a tear down my cheek to my lips. “Trust doesn’t heal."
There are quiet moments of epiphany for both Grant and Morgan. They give each other something neither has ever had. Simply, it is a beautiful romance.
Overall, a Southern suspense that has heart and humor.
Favorite quote
Your battle is over. Live your life, be happy, love deeply.
GUEST REVIEWED AT:
April 16, 2015
4.5 Stars!
I had a lot! A lot of sad, some mad, some awww moments, I even laughed a few times.
This was a really captivating story. Definitely more on the emotional side.
I fell in love with Morgan from the first page. His character was so inspiring. He was so misunderstood. The battles he fought and overcome. His strength. His beauty.
Grant is new town. He does what most do and makes assumptions about Morgan. He's blind to all that is Morgan. But it doesn't take him long to see how special Morgan is.
I loved how Morgan was always quick to put Grant in his place.
He didn't want pity. He just wanted to be.
I loved the slow development of Morgan and Grant's relationship. It definitely wasn't always an easy road. Grant never had plans to stay in town long. But plans change. Wants change. Feelings change. Needs change.
Morgan was the home that Grant never knew he was looking for.
I had a lot! A lot of sad, some mad, some awww moments, I even laughed a few times.
This was a really captivating story. Definitely more on the emotional side.
I fell in love with Morgan from the first page. His character was so inspiring. He was so misunderstood. The battles he fought and overcome. His strength. His beauty.
"He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even sees things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."
Grant is new town. He does what most do and makes assumptions about Morgan. He's blind to all that is Morgan. But it doesn't take him long to see how special Morgan is.
"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality it blinds. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me."
I loved how Morgan was always quick to put Grant in his place.
He didn't want pity. He just wanted to be.
I loved the slow development of Morgan and Grant's relationship. It definitely wasn't always an easy road. Grant never had plans to stay in town long. But plans change. Wants change. Feelings change. Needs change.
Morgan was the home that Grant never knew he was looking for.
"...he'd always held me and I just didn't know it. Like seeing the light in a way I couldn't, he'd seen a love that hadn't happened yet, but knew it would."
October 13, 2020
My third time reading this story, and I think I enjoyed it the most this time around.
Morgan is still amazing and I love his relationship with Grant. It's beautiful. And Grant is all kinds of perfect.
The only thing I never cared much about is the FBI subplot. Though I have to say that Jeff started growing on me.
Morgan is still amazing and I love his relationship with Grant. It's beautiful. And Grant is all kinds of perfect.
The only thing I never cared much about is the FBI subplot. Though I have to say that Jeff started growing on me.
April 23, 2015
*** ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT !! ***
I don't even know where to start in trying to put into words how outstanding this book is.It has totally captivated my attention over the last few days.
"The light is a funny thing ,Grant.We think it shows us what we need to see,but in reality,it blinds us .That's why I brought you here.I wanted you to see me"-Morgan
Morgan is a 24 year Autistic man
Grant is 36 and has escaped to Durstrand leaving behind a dubious past and an ex lover...a FBI Agent
There is a FBI sub plot going on but the main focus of the story is the relationship between Morgan and Grant.And what a story it is...just beautiful.
Morgan,well I can't begin to describe how much I loved him.He's beautiful,witty,misunderstood and fiercely independent.Grant tries so hard with him...makes mistakes along the way but ultimately comes through.
I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK!!!
The writing is beautiful, from all the quirky characters and the setting...I have never been able to picture so clearly a place where a story takes place.
I love M/M books but have never read such erotic sex scenes as the ones here.
SIDE NOTE
A good friend of mine has an Autistic son the same age as my 15yr old daughter..in fact that's how we met..we both went through pregnancy together,gave birth within a few months of each other and our children played together and attended play school together.When they reached School age their lives took a different path.It's tantamount to my daughter's character that they have stayed in touch,although I know it's hard for both of them.
I thought the Author gave a very accurate portrayal of Morgan's Autisim and especially the character of Lori and the struggles she must have faced bringing up Morgan.
This is truly an outstanding book that will stay with me for a long time
I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT,JUST PERFECT!!
"
I don't even know where to start in trying to put into words how outstanding this book is.It has totally captivated my attention over the last few days.
"The light is a funny thing ,Grant.We think it shows us what we need to see,but in reality,it blinds us .That's why I brought you here.I wanted you to see me"-Morgan
Morgan is a 24 year Autistic man
Grant is 36 and has escaped to Durstrand leaving behind a dubious past and an ex lover...a FBI Agent
There is a FBI sub plot going on but the main focus of the story is the relationship between Morgan and Grant.And what a story it is...just beautiful.
Morgan,well I can't begin to describe how much I loved him.He's beautiful,witty,misunderstood and fiercely independent.Grant tries so hard with him...makes mistakes along the way but ultimately comes through.
I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK!!!
The writing is beautiful, from all the quirky characters and the setting...I have never been able to picture so clearly a place where a story takes place.
I love M/M books but have never read such erotic sex scenes as the ones here.
SIDE NOTE
A good friend of mine has an Autistic son the same age as my 15yr old daughter..in fact that's how we met..we both went through pregnancy together,gave birth within a few months of each other and our children played together and attended play school together.When they reached School age their lives took a different path.It's tantamount to my daughter's character that they have stayed in touch,although I know it's hard for both of them.
I thought the Author gave a very accurate portrayal of Morgan's Autisim and especially the character of Lori and the struggles she must have faced bringing up Morgan.
This is truly an outstanding book that will stay with me for a long time
I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT,JUST PERFECT!!
"
January 23, 2018
Reread January 2018
I am still at a loss for the right words for this book. It touched me on so many levels. Told entirely from Grant's POV, I love seeing him grow in his understanding of Morgan as a person and not a condition. He’s still perfectly imperfect. He makes mistakes. But they need each other and complete each other. The people in the town really stood out to me this time too. They’re funny and supportive.
It’s just a bloody brilliant book and I have highlighted the shit out of it.
Originally read October 2016
**5++ Colored Glass Stars**
Honestly, this has to be one of the hardest reviews I’ve ever had to write. There is absolutely no way I can do this book justice. I could add gifs and all kinds of hot pics but I don’t think I’d ever touch the essence of this book.
I think I had every emotion there is while reading. It was just absolutely beautiful. The romance between Grant and Morgan was beyond anything I could have imagined. There was suspense and humor. I loved the people all around town.
But to me, the true heart of the book was where it shows how important it is to “see” a person….not just in the light, what we see on the outside. But to truly see what’s inside. Grant did this with Morgan. He saw him deep down.
But not only that, Morgan got Grant. He knew what Grant needed. He was such a strong and amazing character.
I highlighted the hell out of this book. I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted so many quotes and passages in a book. The words themselves to me, were beautiful.
One thing I loved was that Grant made mistakes. He tried to change his way of thinking about Morgan and his autism but deep down, he still had those imbedded beliefs. I know that sounds weird because we all want a hero that will swoop in and just make everything better…we want him to be perfect. But to me, it made me appreciate him more. It made him “real”….not some perfect character that no one can relate to.
And Morgan, I wish we could all “see” things sometimes….see the beauty in the ugly…see past what is right in front of our faces and see what’s in our hearts.
Just amazing...
I am still at a loss for the right words for this book. It touched me on so many levels. Told entirely from Grant's POV, I love seeing him grow in his understanding of Morgan as a person and not a condition. He’s still perfectly imperfect. He makes mistakes. But they need each other and complete each other. The people in the town really stood out to me this time too. They’re funny and supportive.
It’s just a bloody brilliant book and I have highlighted the shit out of it.
Originally read October 2016
**5++ Colored Glass Stars**
Honestly, this has to be one of the hardest reviews I’ve ever had to write. There is absolutely no way I can do this book justice. I could add gifs and all kinds of hot pics but I don’t think I’d ever touch the essence of this book.
I think I had every emotion there is while reading. It was just absolutely beautiful. The romance between Grant and Morgan was beyond anything I could have imagined. There was suspense and humor. I loved the people all around town.
But to me, the true heart of the book was where it shows how important it is to “see” a person….not just in the light, what we see on the outside. But to truly see what’s inside. Grant did this with Morgan. He saw him deep down.
"Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.” ~Grant
“I think for the first time I understood why some people got hooked on drugs after just one use. ‘Cause I was hooked on Morgan.” ~Grant
“He didn’t resist when I molded my body to his and wrapped him in my arms. The heat of his flesh, the curve of his muscles, the strength in his body, nothing had ever felt so perfect in my life.” ~Grant
But not only that, Morgan got Grant. He knew what Grant needed. He was such a strong and amazing character.
I highlighted the hell out of this book. I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted so many quotes and passages in a book. The words themselves to me, were beautiful.
“No way to put into words how he made me feel. How touching him connected me to the world. How tasting him breathed life into my lungs. How I hadn’t been alive until the moment I saw him and even then I’d resisted, afraid of what I’d felt, fighting what I feared. How I thought I knew what love was only to realize, standing in front of him, I knew nothing.”~Grant
One thing I loved was that Grant made mistakes. He tried to change his way of thinking about Morgan and his autism but deep down, he still had those imbedded beliefs. I know that sounds weird because we all want a hero that will swoop in and just make everything better…we want him to be perfect. But to me, it made me appreciate him more. It made him “real”….not some perfect character that no one can relate to.
"I’d been so close to being like those dance instructors who threw away a once in a lifetime chance. But instead of leaving me to the mercy of the light, Morgan had led me into the darkness, where it had no more power over me. How did you replay that kind of gift? How did you repent for being unable to see it? I didn’t know, but I wanted to try." ~Grant
And Morgan, I wish we could all “see” things sometimes….see the beauty in the ugly…see past what is right in front of our faces and see what’s in our hearts.
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.” ~Morgan
Just amazing...
June 4, 2015
♥♥♥ 5 STARS ♥♥♥
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●
"Morgan's just like any other guy his age. He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even see things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."
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This book had been recommended to me many times by many people on goodreads. I've had this one for a while and never seemed to get to it. Now, I regret not reading it sooner because I LOVED it!
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"The light is funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me."
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Grant Kessler is a thirty-six year old man wanting to have a fresh start in the small town of Durstand. Grant's past isn't completely clean, if you look closer, and that is what the FBI seems to want to do. He isn't a bad person, he may not show it often or even know about it, but he actually has a loving heart. This is why he chose to settle in that town for a little while until he could finally retire in peace at a ocean view location.
In this town, is where Grant meets twenty-four year old Morgan Kade, an autistic young man working as a bus boy at the local bar. Grant sees him being bullied by a patron and ready to go to his defense. Grant has preconceived notions of what Morgan is capable and not capable of doing. He doesn't understand that Morgan is able to make his own decisions, like any other person. That he is a grown man and not child. That he is smart, artistic, quite funny, and has beaten the odds. He doesn't see any of that, he just knows what he sees on the outside.
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'The beauty I'd thought I'd known was nothing compared to the glimpse he gifted to me in that moment. His vulnerability, his capacity to love, his willingness to trust. Morgan not only showed me those things, he pulled me in, wrapped me up, and whispered the secrets of his world in my ear.'
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Morgan is very much able to take care of himself. He lives alone, has a job, creates works of art, and dances. He's fought hard to have control of his life. He is such a strong young man that I quickly fell for him. I loved his mischievous sense of humour. That whole "bullshitomometer" and the toothpicks scenes had me grinning so big. I hurt so much for him because of how some people treated him. I hated that people judged him by what they saw on the outside when he was such a beautiful and amazing person on the inside. I loved that Morgan could stand up for himself when he needed to. I liked that he was independent, hardworking, and that he didn't let people's mean words get to him. I just plainly loved him.
Grant may have entered this town with a bit of a narrow mind, but it was so beautiful seeing Morgan change that in him. Grant doesn't know what to do when Morgan very blatantly comes on to him. Morgan knows what he wants, and goes after it. Grant, however, feels horrible for feeling attracted to him because he thinks he would be taking advantage of him. He doesn't even think Morgan knows what sexuality is or can decide if he's gay or not. Morgan ends up winning Grant over with his cleverness and his wonderful way of seeing things. Grant becomes addicted and inevitably falls for him. I became so captivated reading how Morgan and Grant's relationship grew. It was so incredibly stunning and it made my heart melt completely. It may have taken me a while, but by the end, I loved Grant as well, because of they way that he loved Morgan so wholeheartedly.
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"I told you, you were mine. All mine, Morgan. Perfect. Beautiful."
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This story was utterly beautiful. I will admit that the whole FBI storyline, I wasn't too keen on, but it was still a bit enjoyable. I was grateful that it didn't take over the entire book, nor did it overshadow the romantic storyline between Grant and Morgan. I definitely loved the writing, the flow, and the pace of the story. I loved the main characters and many of the secondary ones, too. I loved the nosy and quirky townspeople that made this book that more amusing. I laughed, I hurt, I loved, and I teared up. I thoroughly enjoyed it all. Even the steam in this book was awesome and very smoking hot. The ending was the best. I was almost sad to see their story end because I loved them so much. Overall, it was a really great read and one I would definitely recommend you give a read.
October 24, 2020
1st read 2015 5 stars.
2nd read 2020.
**** 4.5 Stars ****
It didn't have the same impact as when I first read it.
But it's still a really good read.
Unique plot.🔝
Super interesting characters.🌟
The authentic atmosphere of a village in the middle of nowhere was brilliant. 💯
Sensational chemistry between the MCs.💥
Incredibly hot.🔥🎆🎇
It unlocked for me another perspective on autism.📣🗝🔑
Below, I'm sharing the author's moving dedication.💘
Dedication,
"Anyone and everyone who has ever been misunderstood, cast out, or ostracized for simply being who you are. Forgive the ignorant. They know not what lies within the layers of our reality."
2nd read 2020.
**** 4.5 Stars ****
It didn't have the same impact as when I first read it.
But it's still a really good read.
Unique plot.🔝
Super interesting characters.🌟
The authentic atmosphere of a village in the middle of nowhere was brilliant. 💯
Sensational chemistry between the MCs.💥
Incredibly hot.🔥🎆🎇
It unlocked for me another perspective on autism.📣🗝🔑
Below, I'm sharing the author's moving dedication.💘
Dedication,
"Anyone and everyone who has ever been misunderstood, cast out, or ostracized for simply being who you are. Forgive the ignorant. They know not what lies within the layers of our reality."
March 15, 2016
Written July 3, 2015
5 Stars - Amazing touching, great storyline, surprising plot and GRAND love
Much loved by many friends here. Recommended by my wise GR-friend Allison (5 stars) back in April. It was at last time to see what they all talk about.
OMG, why didn't I read this one at once??
Dumb, dumb me. In The Absence Of Light is what I call a GREAT romance novel.
[ I finished two weeks ago (on a trip sunbathing and enjoying myself at the beautiful Spanish island Majorca) and I planned to write a thoughtful review back home again, but there is never time. - So short and sweet at last: ]
*********************************************
Grant Kessler (~35) has a bit shady background, he is a smuggler who retired and is now hiding from FBI. Grant buys an old farm house and settles down in a small nowhere town called Durstrand. The plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.
The quite young (~23) beautiful blonde Morgan is autistic. —But not 'disabled'.— Morgan has a hard time looking people in the eye, tell left from right, and has some uncontrolled tics.
When these two first meet isn’t Morgan a bit shy in letting Grant know how attracted he is. But is that right? Grant really tries to resit, it can't be okay to feel and lust after an autistic, heavenly sexy, young man.
It starts in a very captivating way from the very first page. No fuss, just straight on. I was trapped, curious and detached directly. Dear sweet Morgan, he got my book-heart there at once. He is simply amazing. His way of managing his own handicaps (autistic tics and many problematic big and small difficulties in everyday life) is just a good example. (I only wish that other young people in his situation also receive acceptance and lots of love.)
********************************************
In The Absence Of Light is more (I'm not exaggerating) than just an amazing good romantic contemporary M/M romance. You also get thrilling suspense, a good surprising plot, lot of fun characters (and shortly about their life-stories in the good old novel writing style). You get important stuff about prejudices, our (often bad) preconceptions and two impressively strong main characters.
Oh yes, these men made a strong impression. Sure, sometimes did they stupid (dumb no no) things, but they were still so wonderfully human and understandable. Morgan will doubtless stay in my heart a long time. ~ The day there is an audiobook edition will I grab it to experience all these heartbreking, heart wrenching and heartwarming wonderful moments once again.
Not to forget are all these hot, I mean steaming HOT, lovely (kinky sweaty....sometimes even rough) love-encounters. Wow, I was a bit shocked and surprised now and then. The mix of angst, strong emotions, pain, disappointments and intense feelings made this book unique and memorable (for me).
********************************************
I loved, loved, LOVED reading this stunning story. For me there is nothing, not a single slip or turn, to complain about. —Five powerful big glittering stars-hearts.— I just hope even more readers, M/M readers or not, will give this romance novel a chance.
Highly recommended!
I LIKE - great stories with interesting characters
*********
# Say, wouldn't this be a great movie film? (With less explicit sex scenes of course). I'm sure a thrilling lovestory like this should appeal to many romantic hearts.
# Oops! Maybe not that "short and sweet" after all. Haha. ~ Me and review writing... Sigh!!!
5 Stars - Amazing touching, great storyline, surprising plot and GRAND love
Much loved by many friends here. Recommended by my wise GR-friend Allison (5 stars) back in April. It was at last time to see what they all talk about.
OMG, why didn't I read this one at once??
Dumb, dumb me. In The Absence Of Light is what I call a GREAT romance novel.
[ I finished two weeks ago (on a trip sunbathing and enjoying myself at the beautiful Spanish island Majorca) and I planned to write a thoughtful review back home again, but there is never time. - So short and sweet at last: ]
*********************************************
Grant Kessler (~35) has a bit shady background, he is a smuggler who retired and is now hiding from FBI. Grant buys an old farm house and settles down in a small nowhere town called Durstrand. The plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.
The quite young (~23) beautiful blonde Morgan is autistic. —But not 'disabled'.— Morgan has a hard time looking people in the eye, tell left from right, and has some uncontrolled tics.
When these two first meet isn’t Morgan a bit shy in letting Grant know how attracted he is. But is that right? Grant really tries to resit, it can't be okay to feel and lust after an autistic, heavenly sexy, young man.
It starts in a very captivating way from the very first page. No fuss, just straight on. I was trapped, curious and detached directly. Dear sweet Morgan, he got my book-heart there at once. He is simply amazing. His way of managing his own handicaps (autistic tics and many problematic big and small difficulties in everyday life) is just a good example. (I only wish that other young people in his situation also receive acceptance and lots of love.)
********************************************
In The Absence Of Light is more (I'm not exaggerating) than just an amazing good romantic contemporary M/M romance. You also get thrilling suspense, a good surprising plot, lot of fun characters (and shortly about their life-stories in the good old novel writing style). You get important stuff about prejudices, our (often bad) preconceptions and two impressively strong main characters.
‘Morgan met my gaze and grinned at me.
God, he was gorgeous. “They’re good. You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” He ate one.
“Humble too.”
“No need to be humble when it’s the truth.”
I could only smile.’
Oh yes, these men made a strong impression. Sure, sometimes did they stupid (dumb no no) things, but they were still so wonderfully human and understandable. Morgan will doubtless stay in my heart a long time. ~ The day there is an audiobook edition will I grab it to experience all these heartbreking, heart wrenching and heartwarming wonderful moments once again.
‘I put the truck back in park, and slid over next to Morgan. He startled when I cupped his face and tilted his chin up. I kissed him, long, slow. Right there in the driveway, I made love to his mouth. I worshiped his exhales. I savored his taste.
And in all my years, I’d never kissed anyone like I did him. I never wanted to. But Morgan wasn’t just anyone.’
Not to forget are all these hot, I mean steaming HOT, lovely (kinky sweaty....sometimes even rough) love-encounters. Wow, I was a bit shocked and surprised now and then. The mix of angst, strong emotions, pain, disappointments and intense feelings made this book unique and memorable (for me).
********************************************
I loved, loved, LOVED reading this stunning story. For me there is nothing, not a single slip or turn, to complain about. —Five powerful big glittering stars-hearts.— I just hope even more readers, M/M readers or not, will give this romance novel a chance.
Highly recommended!I LIKE - great stories with interesting characters
*********
# Say, wouldn't this be a great movie film? (With less explicit sex scenes of course). I'm sure a thrilling lovestory like this should appeal to many romantic hearts.
# Oops! Maybe not that "short and sweet" after all. Haha. ~ Me and review writing... Sigh!!!
August 22, 2024
Oh my, so many emotions with this book. I'm feeling a bit drained right now, but I'm trying to find words anyway, even if I don't think they're the right ones.
First, the plot is way too much of a mess for me, all the stuff with the FBI drove me crazy so much that I had to stop reading more often.
Why it still gets 5 stars is all down to Morgan, because I think his character simply deserves it.
So, I have no personal background to help me identify the presentation of Morgan's autism spectrum as authentic, so I just have to assume that the author has knowledge of what was written here. And that alone is really impressive. Every little thing about Morgan is just unique and floors me.
That's why I think it's a shame that Grant's past takes up so much space, and I also think that perhaps the drama has been taken too far? That's not a criticism of the book itself, it would just be my preference. The execution of the plot, although too messy for me, is still very well done and in the end that counts for more.
Well, Grant and Morgan ... phew, it was really hard to get into it at first. The interactions between the two at the beginning were intense and since everything is only seen from Grant's perspective, it was really hard to get into Morgan's head. I suspect this was intentional because I think once you've empathized with Morgan, the impact is that much stronger.
And so many big, big tears escaped me ...
Hmmm, I think I'll go and cry into my pillow for a while to process this story. Here are some quotes, I think they speak for themselves better than my words could.
I guess I was more of a beast than I’d ever given myself credit for. Because if I’d been given the chance to get my hands on Dillon, I would have started with pulling out his toenails and ended at his teeth. I would have broken every joint, severed every finger. And when I was bored with his screams, I would have shoved an ice pick in his gut, pulled up a chair, and watched him slowly bleed out. 🖤🌹🖤
In Morgan’s case, the light had let me see the tics, the muscle spasms, and his strange movements, and I’d been distracted by them. The dark took it all away and left me sitting next to a person, not a behavior, a human being, not perceived defects. Someone insightful, quick-witted, determined, generous, kind, and armed with a wicked sense of humor. 💚🤩💚
“Are you planning on hurting me?”
“Of course not, it’s just…”
“You’re older?”
“Yes.”
“You know more than I do?”
“No.”
“So are you really trying to protect me from you or yourself from me?” Why didn’t it surprise me he read through me? He could already see the world beyond the layers of my understanding. “I don’t know.” 🤗💗🤗
I counted his heartbeats. I traced the shell of his ear. I carefully arranged locks of his curly hair, not caring it was hopeless to make sense of the mess. Morgan had been right about so many things. Except one. I did have a reason to stay here in Durstrand. And that reason was asleep in my arms. 😍🫠🥰
First, the plot is way too much of a mess for me, all the stuff with the FBI drove me crazy so much that I had to stop reading more often.
Why it still gets 5 stars is all down to Morgan, because I think his character simply deserves it.
So, I have no personal background to help me identify the presentation of Morgan's autism spectrum as authentic, so I just have to assume that the author has knowledge of what was written here. And that alone is really impressive. Every little thing about Morgan is just unique and floors me.
That's why I think it's a shame that Grant's past takes up so much space, and I also think that perhaps the drama has been taken too far? That's not a criticism of the book itself, it would just be my preference. The execution of the plot, although too messy for me, is still very well done and in the end that counts for more.
Well, Grant and Morgan ... phew, it was really hard to get into it at first. The interactions between the two at the beginning were intense and since everything is only seen from Grant's perspective, it was really hard to get into Morgan's head. I suspect this was intentional because I think once you've empathized with Morgan, the impact is that much stronger.
And so many big, big tears escaped me ...
Hmmm, I think I'll go and cry into my pillow for a while to process this story. Here are some quotes, I think they speak for themselves better than my words could.
I guess I was more of a beast than I’d ever given myself credit for. Because if I’d been given the chance to get my hands on Dillon, I would have started with pulling out his toenails and ended at his teeth. I would have broken every joint, severed every finger. And when I was bored with his screams, I would have shoved an ice pick in his gut, pulled up a chair, and watched him slowly bleed out. 🖤🌹🖤
In Morgan’s case, the light had let me see the tics, the muscle spasms, and his strange movements, and I’d been distracted by them. The dark took it all away and left me sitting next to a person, not a behavior, a human being, not perceived defects. Someone insightful, quick-witted, determined, generous, kind, and armed with a wicked sense of humor. 💚🤩💚
“Are you planning on hurting me?”
“Of course not, it’s just…”
“You’re older?”
“Yes.”
“You know more than I do?”
“No.”
“So are you really trying to protect me from you or yourself from me?” Why didn’t it surprise me he read through me? He could already see the world beyond the layers of my understanding. “I don’t know.” 🤗💗🤗
I counted his heartbeats. I traced the shell of his ear. I carefully arranged locks of his curly hair, not caring it was hopeless to make sense of the mess. Morgan had been right about so many things. Except one. I did have a reason to stay here in Durstrand. And that reason was asleep in my arms. 😍🫠🥰
April 20, 2015
5 BeAuTiFuL StArS
Nothing prepared me for.....
MORGAN
This wonderful story... I truly was in awe .. ...damn if I'm still wiping happy tears from my face as I write this - in fact the last 5% I was rubbing hard, the tears that fell from my eye's. Making ugly noises.
The other half said “For god sake go and get a tissue or something and blow your nose” YES, I GAVE HIM THE STINK EYE ....
.....how could I put into words that I had just read about the most remarkable, inspiring individual with ethereal beauty, I had ever had the pleasure of reading about.
GRANT
This story is told in Grant's POV, I loved Grant...he's honesty, fears, love.
I'm not going to tell you about the story, as I believe you should read this going in blind, what I will say is, it is not just extraordinary, it's sexy, fun, flirtatious. There's oodles of suspence, drama that will keep you on the edge of your seat, pretty near perfect combination if you ask me!!!
Adrienne Wilder is new to me, to say I'm blown away by the writing is an understatement.....and the dedication at the front of the book I simply loved.
I had already waltzed into this story with a glow, then at the 20% mark....
It felt like a strong steady hand caught me around the waist and took my breathe away, whisking me around the dance floor...I was breathless, dizzy. In the moment. I was dancing in the dark, dazzled by the facets of light drifting above my head from the disco ball......totally lost in the music, this story ....Morgan and Grants story. And from then on, I never wanted to be let go.
It's been along time since I've been swept off my feet......anyone care to dance!!
The supporting cast...Aunty Jenny and the folk of Durstand...... were fantabulous, and charming. I would have LOVED to have had a drink and a moon pie with the locals watching this story unfurl in front of my very eyes and listerning to the town's folk GOSSIP.
I was so in awe, when the 3 grizzly bears wearing pink tutu's started dancing down the dusty road......uhhhhrrrr!!!! OH, so your still awake .....I've still got your attention then!!! Only kidding , 3 bears now come on I'm playing with y'all.
No seriously, if your still reading this....there is really only one thing to say.....
Everybody deserves to be loved, GIVE love, RECEIVE love.
PLEASE read this extraordinary book, I'm positive you'll fall in love, be swept off your feet...just like me....or I'll eat my hat!!
Nothing prepared me for.....
MORGAN
This wonderful story... I truly was in awe .. ...damn if I'm still wiping happy tears from my face as I write this - in fact the last 5% I was rubbing hard, the tears that fell from my eye's. Making ugly noises.
The other half said “For god sake go and get a tissue or something and blow your nose” YES, I GAVE HIM THE STINK EYE ....
.....how could I put into words that I had just read about the most remarkable, inspiring individual with ethereal beauty, I had ever had the pleasure of reading about.
GRANT
This story is told in Grant's POV, I loved Grant...he's honesty, fears, love.
Never , not in a million years or a million lifetimes, will there be anyone else who has what I want." ~ Grant
I'm not going to tell you about the story, as I believe you should read this going in blind, what I will say is, it is not just extraordinary, it's sexy, fun, flirtatious. There's oodles of suspence, drama that will keep you on the edge of your seat, pretty near perfect combination if you ask me!!!
Adrienne Wilder is new to me, to say I'm blown away by the writing is an understatement.....and the dedication at the front of the book I simply loved.
I had already waltzed into this story with a glow, then at the 20% mark....
It felt like a strong steady hand caught me around the waist and took my breathe away, whisking me around the dance floor...I was breathless, dizzy. In the moment. I was dancing in the dark, dazzled by the facets of light drifting above my head from the disco ball......totally lost in the music, this story ....Morgan and Grants story. And from then on, I never wanted to be let go.
It's been along time since I've been swept off my feet......anyone care to dance!!
The supporting cast...Aunty Jenny and the folk of Durstand...... were fantabulous, and charming. I would have LOVED to have had a drink and a moon pie with the locals watching this story unfurl in front of my very eyes and listerning to the town's folk GOSSIP.
I was so in awe, when the 3 grizzly bears wearing pink tutu's started dancing down the dusty road......uhhhhrrrr!!!! OH, so your still awake .....I've still got your attention then!!! Only kidding , 3 bears now come on I'm playing with y'all.
No seriously, if your still reading this....there is really only one thing to say.....
Everybody deserves to be loved, GIVE love, RECEIVE love.
PLEASE read this extraordinary book, I'm positive you'll fall in love, be swept off your feet...just like me....or I'll eat my hat!!
January 5, 2016
A well-written masterpiece with all the necessary ingredients for a poignant story. Elements of humor, drama, action, and angst imbued all throughout but more importantly an unconventional romance to captivate your heart and shatter it to smithereens.
What made this stand out from the rest though, beyond the gripping and brilliant story, is how this challenged my way of seeing the world. How ignorant and prejudiced my way of thinking was when it came to the differently abled. And it’s astounding how a book can change all that.
And delivered in a manner where the author is not just laying these down matter-of-factly. It’s a gradual process depicted in detail to make you experience the flutters but also the desolation, but still touches your soul.Morgan. Morgan is just special. Not because of his disability but because he radiates this larger-than-life persona. His light shining brighter than anything you could ever fathom. He is a fighter and it’s not only respectable, it’s worth emulating.
And definitely worth the pain and heartaches you get to feel as you go through with the storyline. I dare not say more.
February 8, 2016
4 stars!
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”
Grant has retired early from his shipping business and moved to the middle of nowhere and bought a run down house with the intention to renovate it. While in town he meets Morgan, the mysterious bus boy at the only bar for miles. From the start it's obvious Morgan is gay, and he is also autistic. Thinking pursuing anything with Morgan would be taking advantage of a differently abled person, Grant shies away from Morgan, until Morgan proves that just because he's different it doesn't make him incapable or unintelligent.
Grant had only intended to stay where he was for a limited amount of time, and Morgan agrees to spending time together with an end date. But the more Grant does with Morgan makes him realize he may want to stay forever.
“Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.”
This book came at exactly the right time for me as I had just given up on three different books in a row! For real, 3 DNF's. So I was extremely happy to have enjoyed this book as much as I did because it caught me in one of the worst book slumps I've ever been in. Right book at the right time.
I loved both characters in this book. Morgan with his sense of humor and his snark. Grant was the perfect counterpoint to him. I loved getting Grant's perspective on the entire relationship because at the beginning we see Morgan as how the common majority would see him, and over time through Grant's eyes we get to see the extraordinary person Morgan is.
“Here was a man who defied all odds, lived by himself, worked, created beautiful art. A complex mind stumped by some of the simplest tasks.
If he could, he would keep trying until there was only absolute failure or success.
How many people could say that?”
Overall this was a great book and if you are a fan of MM romance I highly recommend it. The only reason it's not a 5 star read was I got bored by some of the FBI stuff involved. I would have preferred the book to be more focused on the main characters.
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”
Grant has retired early from his shipping business and moved to the middle of nowhere and bought a run down house with the intention to renovate it. While in town he meets Morgan, the mysterious bus boy at the only bar for miles. From the start it's obvious Morgan is gay, and he is also autistic. Thinking pursuing anything with Morgan would be taking advantage of a differently abled person, Grant shies away from Morgan, until Morgan proves that just because he's different it doesn't make him incapable or unintelligent.
Grant had only intended to stay where he was for a limited amount of time, and Morgan agrees to spending time together with an end date. But the more Grant does with Morgan makes him realize he may want to stay forever.
“Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.”
This book came at exactly the right time for me as I had just given up on three different books in a row! For real, 3 DNF's. So I was extremely happy to have enjoyed this book as much as I did because it caught me in one of the worst book slumps I've ever been in. Right book at the right time.
I loved both characters in this book. Morgan with his sense of humor and his snark. Grant was the perfect counterpoint to him. I loved getting Grant's perspective on the entire relationship because at the beginning we see Morgan as how the common majority would see him, and over time through Grant's eyes we get to see the extraordinary person Morgan is.
“Here was a man who defied all odds, lived by himself, worked, created beautiful art. A complex mind stumped by some of the simplest tasks.
If he could, he would keep trying until there was only absolute failure or success.
How many people could say that?”
Overall this was a great book and if you are a fan of MM romance I highly recommend it. The only reason it's not a 5 star read was I got bored by some of the FBI stuff involved. I would have preferred the book to be more focused on the main characters.
May 12, 2015
Sometimes you came across a special book that touch your heart and is hard to describe why you just love it so much. Despite the slow moving plot from the POV of a man who is running away from his past, In the Absence of Light is one thought provoking read that make me ponder all day long.
"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us."
Grant Kessler is a man looking for a fresh start from his shady past. He longed for a solitude at a virgin beach, but first he had to evade the authorities by laying low at small town Durstrand, a place where the local rancher put up a theater for his cows.
Morgan is a local, working as a busboy at the local bar. One look at Morgan, people assume he is not normal. He had the constant tic that just make people wary of him. But if one took the chance to get to know him, they will find themselves in the company of a remarkable and wise man who beat all the odds against him in life.
"Pain, fear, humiliation, it turned his beautiful dark eyes into a window of hell. It was the first glimpse I’d had of the prison he lived in. A captive to the uncontrollable tics ravaging his body. I think it was then I understood the solace he found in the light."
This story depicted Grant's escapism from his harsh reality, but instead he found love and solace in the arm of the most unlikely man. Loving Morgan make him realize, he himself is the lesser man, the jaded man with tainted soul.
With the constant hounding of his ex-lover and the FBI pressuring on him, will Grant lose grasp with his life in Durstrand? At what cost will it take for him to finally find the peace he sought?
"You can trust me, Grant. You don't have to run. You don't have to hide."
Everything built up to quite a suspense in the last quarter will Grant finally has to face his past head on and settle the dispute once and for all. I have to say this a very well written and touching M/M book I've ever read, not that I claimed to read a lot of them. The ending seems to open up a possibility for the secondary characters and my interest was definitely piqued. I'm glad I took the time and patience to savor this book.
"I'm not cold, at least, not on the outside."
"The inside cold is always worse because you can put a coat on to stay warm, but there isn't much you can do for your heart."
"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us."
Grant Kessler is a man looking for a fresh start from his shady past. He longed for a solitude at a virgin beach, but first he had to evade the authorities by laying low at small town Durstrand, a place where the local rancher put up a theater for his cows.
Morgan is a local, working as a busboy at the local bar. One look at Morgan, people assume he is not normal. He had the constant tic that just make people wary of him. But if one took the chance to get to know him, they will find themselves in the company of a remarkable and wise man who beat all the odds against him in life.
"Pain, fear, humiliation, it turned his beautiful dark eyes into a window of hell. It was the first glimpse I’d had of the prison he lived in. A captive to the uncontrollable tics ravaging his body. I think it was then I understood the solace he found in the light."
This story depicted Grant's escapism from his harsh reality, but instead he found love and solace in the arm of the most unlikely man. Loving Morgan make him realize, he himself is the lesser man, the jaded man with tainted soul.
With the constant hounding of his ex-lover and the FBI pressuring on him, will Grant lose grasp with his life in Durstrand? At what cost will it take for him to finally find the peace he sought?
"You can trust me, Grant. You don't have to run. You don't have to hide."
Everything built up to quite a suspense in the last quarter will Grant finally has to face his past head on and settle the dispute once and for all. I have to say this a very well written and touching M/M book I've ever read, not that I claimed to read a lot of them. The ending seems to open up a possibility for the secondary characters and my interest was definitely piqued. I'm glad I took the time and patience to savor this book.
"I'm not cold, at least, not on the outside."
"The inside cold is always worse because you can put a coat on to stay warm, but there isn't much you can do for your heart."
December 28, 2015
5 Bullshit-o-meter Stars!
The Absence of Light by Adrienne Wilder is one of those books I went into fairly blind. I'd known a friend loved it but I'd hadn't read many reviews. What I DID know is that within a very few pages, I knew this was going to be a book that touched me profoundly. Touched me in a way not many books do. The characters grabbed ahold of my heart and I felt personally invested in their story. That, my friends, is WRITING.
Grant Kessler is a Chicago "transplant." Avoiding the Feds, he's what a friend accurately termed a "moral criminal." He chooses to move to a sleepy southern town called Durstrand, buys a local "fixer upper" and begins biding his time until he can get outa Dodge. One night while having a beer in theonly local tavern, he spots the busboy, Morgan. He observes Morgan being harassed by local assholes drunks. Morgan clearly has issues and Morgan just stood there using odd hand gestures (tics) and didn't to defend himself. So Grant steps in...
The book blurb clearly states this is a story about a severely autistic man. What it doesn't tell us is how completely the reader will fall in love with this man...Morgan. Yes, he has severe tics, fails to make eye contact with most people, but he's as smart as a whip and endearing as hell. Who wouldn't fall for him? Oh yes, the local bigots...people who don't tolerate "different." But his different was FABULOUS! Above all things, Morgan has a fascination with light. Almost a sixth sense...he can hear it.
In the Absence of Light has so many components of a good read, I couldn't help but immerse myself in their love story. Original plot, endearing MCs, and fantastic secondary characters- the townspeople were hysterical! What town has a drive-in movie theatre in the middle of a cow pasture - for cows? Because happy cows equal better tasting meat! Makes sense to me. Although there were bigots amongst them, the town as a whole was such a huge support for Morgan and I couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy in their loyalty. Oh, and I can't forget to mention STEAM, I cannot forget steam! I was seriously questioning whether I'd find a book with this particular storyline hot but let's just say, Morgan has special talents and it was scorching. The buildup was slow and made it all the more FUCKHOT. But I digress...
Morgan was wise. When Grant would think Morgan was simple, Morgan would prove just how special he was...
It was the love story within this book that captured me the most. I commend the author for writing a subject that isn't easy to depict yet display it without negativity and bring to light just how much of a struggle people with autism endure yet in so many ways are so wise, we underestimate their true inner brilliance.
So, if you're in the market for a book that promises an original plot, is chock full of EVERYTHING- drama, angst, humor, suspense, steam, and endearing characters then this book is for you! In the Absence of Light is the first book I've read from this author but surely won't be my last. Thanks for the fabulous recommendation, Baba.
I can't NOT post this dedication in my review.- Perfect!
"This book is dedicated to: Anyone and everyone who has ever been misunderstood, cast out, or ostracized for simply being who you are. Forgive the ignorant. They know not what lies within the layers of our reality."
For more reviews, find us at...
The Absence of Light by Adrienne Wilder is one of those books I went into fairly blind. I'd known a friend loved it but I'd hadn't read many reviews. What I DID know is that within a very few pages, I knew this was going to be a book that touched me profoundly. Touched me in a way not many books do. The characters grabbed ahold of my heart and I felt personally invested in their story. That, my friends, is WRITING.
Grant Kessler is a Chicago "transplant." Avoiding the Feds, he's what a friend accurately termed a "moral criminal." He chooses to move to a sleepy southern town called Durstrand, buys a local "fixer upper" and begins biding his time until he can get outa Dodge. One night while having a beer in the
The book blurb clearly states this is a story about a severely autistic man. What it doesn't tell us is how completely the reader will fall in love with this man...Morgan. Yes, he has severe tics, fails to make eye contact with most people, but he's as smart as a whip and endearing as hell. Who wouldn't fall for him? Oh yes, the local bigots...people who don't tolerate "different." But his different was FABULOUS! Above all things, Morgan has a fascination with light. Almost a sixth sense...he can hear it.
In the Absence of Light has so many components of a good read, I couldn't help but immerse myself in their love story. Original plot, endearing MCs, and fantastic secondary characters- the townspeople were hysterical! What town has a drive-in movie theatre in the middle of a cow pasture - for cows? Because happy cows equal better tasting meat! Makes sense to me. Although there were bigots amongst them, the town as a whole was such a huge support for Morgan and I couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy in their loyalty. Oh, and I can't forget to mention STEAM, I cannot forget steam! I was seriously questioning whether I'd find a book with this particular storyline hot but let's just say, Morgan has special talents and it was scorching. The buildup was slow and made it all the more FUCKHOT. But I digress...
Morgan was wise. When Grant would think Morgan was simple, Morgan would prove just how special he was...
It was the love story within this book that captured me the most. I commend the author for writing a subject that isn't easy to depict yet display it without negativity and bring to light just how much of a struggle people with autism endure yet in so many ways are so wise, we underestimate their true inner brilliance.
So, if you're in the market for a book that promises an original plot, is chock full of EVERYTHING- drama, angst, humor, suspense, steam, and endearing characters then this book is for you! In the Absence of Light is the first book I've read from this author but surely won't be my last. Thanks for the fabulous recommendation, Baba.
I can't NOT post this dedication in my review.- Perfect!
"This book is dedicated to: Anyone and everyone who has ever been misunderstood, cast out, or ostracized for simply being who you are. Forgive the ignorant. They know not what lies within the layers of our reality."
For more reviews, find us at...
September 6, 2017
***5+++++ Stars***
If this book were a picture I would hang it up in a special place, so it would capture the light I found in it. It is a reminder of how prejudice and false assumptions make the so-called "normal" persons detest and reject everyone who is everything but perfect. Of how a first impression tends to keep us from appreciate the true value of another human being. A mirror the author holds up to the reader to give us food for thought about our own reactions.
Morgan is special, in every possible way. Seemingly handicapped by his autism, he shows everyone how capable he is to take care of himself, to live his life the way he wants to live. He cuts everybody who has his doubts about it down to size and he does it in a sometimes not so subtle fashion that made me laugh and think about it at the same time. I loved him despite his tics and his tossing thoughts. For me, they were just part of his charme. I loved that he - being dumped, utilized and hurt notwithstanding - is able to see the light in another person, that he is able to trust again.
But I also loved Grant...
Retired from his sometimes a bit illegal business, he tries to escape his past and get out of the crosshairs of the FBI by laying low in a small town as a temporary solution. His initial reaction to Morgan is the same as all the others: a mixture of rejection and pity, but paired with a certain attraction he cannot deny. Gradually, Morgan worms his way into his heart and although he does not always understand him, he does his damnedest to try, despite sometimes falling back into old patterns.
When his past catches up with him and Morgan is caught in the middle, keeping Morgan safe at all costs becomes Grants sole purpose in life.
This book was and had everything. Aside from the characters, especially the humor made me love this book so much. From now on, looking at a box of toothpicks will grant me a laughing fit and a certain driving lesson made me laugh so hard, I'm pretty sure I pulled something. But there were also scenes that made me cry and moments that made me pensive. The sex was extremely hot...
... and Morgan astonished me with his flexibility more than once. The mystery part kept me thrilled, it was exciting without overshadowing the romance. A certain FBI Agent who I wanted to strangle sometimes grew on me and I really really want to get his story.
Highly recommended!
What made this book even more special to me was the fact that I got to read it with my lovely ladies Josy, Karen and Christelle! Thanks for having me, girls, it was a blast!
The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me."
If this book were a picture I would hang it up in a special place, so it would capture the light I found in it. It is a reminder of how prejudice and false assumptions make the so-called "normal" persons detest and reject everyone who is everything but perfect. Of how a first impression tends to keep us from appreciate the true value of another human being. A mirror the author holds up to the reader to give us food for thought about our own reactions.
Morgan is special, in every possible way. Seemingly handicapped by his autism, he shows everyone how capable he is to take care of himself, to live his life the way he wants to live. He cuts everybody who has his doubts about it down to size and he does it in a sometimes not so subtle fashion that made me laugh and think about it at the same time. I loved him despite his tics and his tossing thoughts. For me, they were just part of his charme. I loved that he - being dumped, utilized and hurt notwithstanding - is able to see the light in another person, that he is able to trust again.
Morgan held me in his gaze, and all the things waiting to be said were there. Spoken in silence. Conveyed between space-time.
Forget feeling intelligent. It was nothing compared to what it was like to be the center of someone's world.
But I also loved Grant...
Retired from his sometimes a bit illegal business, he tries to escape his past and get out of the crosshairs of the FBI by laying low in a small town as a temporary solution. His initial reaction to Morgan is the same as all the others: a mixture of rejection and pity, but paired with a certain attraction he cannot deny. Gradually, Morgan worms his way into his heart and although he does not always understand him, he does his damnedest to try, despite sometimes falling back into old patterns.
My heart was his. I seriously began to wonder if it ever wasn't. That he'd always held me and I just didn't know it. Like seeing the light in a way I couldn't, he'd seen a love that hadn't happened yet, but knew it would.
When his past catches up with him and Morgan is caught in the middle, keeping Morgan safe at all costs becomes Grants sole purpose in life.
This book was and had everything. Aside from the characters, especially the humor made me love this book so much. From now on, looking at a box of toothpicks will grant me a laughing fit and a certain driving lesson made me laugh so hard, I'm pretty sure I pulled something. But there were also scenes that made me cry and moments that made me pensive. The sex was extremely hot...
... and Morgan astonished me with his flexibility more than once. The mystery part kept me thrilled, it was exciting without overshadowing the romance. A certain FBI Agent who I wanted to strangle sometimes grew on me and I really really want to get his story.
Highly recommended!
What made this book even more special to me was the fact that I got to read it with my lovely ladies Josy, Karen and Christelle! Thanks for having me, girls, it was a blast!
March 4, 2023
|| 3.5 stars ||
There were things about this that I really liked, but there were also things I really didn’t. I kind of felt like the book was divided into two separate parts that truly should not have been put together. It felt odd that they were, and it threw me off a little bit.
The part I loved in this book was everything that was related to Morgan. I was interested to find out more about his past, his personality, his autism, his tics, his everyday life, and I just generally wanted to know everything that he was thinking. We never got his POV, but all of his scenes were without a doubt my favourite. They had something quite beautiful about them, but they were often also very humorous and fun. Morgan is definitely a super intriguing character, and I think his ‘abnormal’ psyche was what gave this book its special feel.
I was also pretty invested in his relationship with Grant. It was sweet and intense, but also a bit troubling sometimes, since Grant did have some issues with Morgan’s autism. Grant found it difficult to accept Morgan’s independence at times, as he was prone to want to baby him or think that Morgan was incapable to do certain things. This was the main focus of their issues, and I found it very realistic and a little sad. That’s not to say Grant didn’t respect Morgan, though: he definitely did. He adored Morgan, and he thought he was wondrous and magical. He saw him as something you should cherish, yet his prejudices never truly went away.
The part I did not like, however, was the whole plot involving the FBI and random criminal businesses Grant had been involved in prior to the book. A major part of this storyline also involved Grant’s ex-boyfriend Jeff, who was an undercover FBI agent. There was lots of betrayal and drama between them, and Jeff really wanted Grant back, but also needed information from him.
Honestly, it was all just very annoying and frustrating. It didn’t feel like this story belonged in an emotional drama/romance about an autistic man and the person who fell in love with him despite the odds. The two parts just really clashed with each other, and I couldn’t be bothered with the FBI/criminal storyline. I wish we only got the parts with Morgan, and all this other stuff had went away. I didn’t care for it.
I also have to say that I wasn’t a big fan of the writing-style: it was a bit drawn-out and sometimes I felt a little lost. The writing didn’t bother me all the time, but overall it did slightly take away from my enjoyment.
Nonetheless, I did find this book interesting and different. Would I have made a lot of changes if I could? Yes, definitely. But I still liked what we got, and just for Morgan’s story and character alone, I was thinking about giving it 4 stars, but then the ending just focused way too much on the FBI storyline, and I almost felt cheated out of a meaningful ending for Morgan. He really took a backseat to the plot or even to Jeff. I didn’t like that, and thus couldn’t give those 4 stars.
I definitely preferred the beginning and middle of this book over the end.
There were things about this that I really liked, but there were also things I really didn’t. I kind of felt like the book was divided into two separate parts that truly should not have been put together. It felt odd that they were, and it threw me off a little bit.
The part I loved in this book was everything that was related to Morgan. I was interested to find out more about his past, his personality, his autism, his tics, his everyday life, and I just generally wanted to know everything that he was thinking. We never got his POV, but all of his scenes were without a doubt my favourite. They had something quite beautiful about them, but they were often also very humorous and fun. Morgan is definitely a super intriguing character, and I think his ‘abnormal’ psyche was what gave this book its special feel.
I was also pretty invested in his relationship with Grant. It was sweet and intense, but also a bit troubling sometimes, since Grant did have some issues with Morgan’s autism. Grant found it difficult to accept Morgan’s independence at times, as he was prone to want to baby him or think that Morgan was incapable to do certain things. This was the main focus of their issues, and I found it very realistic and a little sad. That’s not to say Grant didn’t respect Morgan, though: he definitely did. He adored Morgan, and he thought he was wondrous and magical. He saw him as something you should cherish, yet his prejudices never truly went away.
The part I did not like, however, was the whole plot involving the FBI and random criminal businesses Grant had been involved in prior to the book. A major part of this storyline also involved Grant’s ex-boyfriend Jeff, who was an undercover FBI agent. There was lots of betrayal and drama between them, and Jeff really wanted Grant back, but also needed information from him.
Honestly, it was all just very annoying and frustrating. It didn’t feel like this story belonged in an emotional drama/romance about an autistic man and the person who fell in love with him despite the odds. The two parts just really clashed with each other, and I couldn’t be bothered with the FBI/criminal storyline. I wish we only got the parts with Morgan, and all this other stuff had went away. I didn’t care for it.
I also have to say that I wasn’t a big fan of the writing-style: it was a bit drawn-out and sometimes I felt a little lost. The writing didn’t bother me all the time, but overall it did slightly take away from my enjoyment.
Nonetheless, I did find this book interesting and different. Would I have made a lot of changes if I could? Yes, definitely. But I still liked what we got, and just for Morgan’s story and character alone, I was thinking about giving it 4 stars, but then the ending just focused way too much on the FBI storyline, and I almost felt cheated out of a meaningful ending for Morgan. He really took a backseat to the plot or even to Jeff. I didn’t like that, and thus couldn’t give those 4 stars.
I definitely preferred the beginning and middle of this book over the end.
May 13, 2020
An ASD MC? Nervous, but I have to read it.
Why the above comment before I read In The Absence of Light? It's because I get pissy about people stereotyping people on the ASD, I really do.
Going into this book, reading it, was very personal for me. Not because I know the author, I don't. Not because I have anything to do with the book whatsoever, other than I read it. But it has an MC who is autistic. Yes, autistic is the correct terminology, for those who are unsure. It isn't a label, its a diagnosis. That's all. The reason it's so personal for me is because I know a little bit about it and so many people stereotype ASD characters (people) - in books, in movies, in life.
I love the above quote. Superman. Apt description.
I have a son who is on the ASD. High functioning, but who's literally been to hell and back. He has tics - facial and motor - not the same or as severe (now) as Morgan's but that's the way it works, they are different. He has interesting ways of dealing with things, he can get (very) obsessive, he pulls his hair when stressed -
He pulled his hair with his dancing hand.
Like Morgan, he has the hand movements - we jokingly call them spirit fingers -
The busboy - Morgan lifted a dirty glass and held it up to the light hanging over the table. His wayward hand opened and closed several times near his shoulder before returning close to his temple to toss more thoughts.
He has the most brilliant mind, but he cannot look most people in the eyes, and if he does, it's not for long. Like Morgan, if he does give you eye contact he feels comfortable with you, you are trusted and, I feel, privileged.
"And he really likes you."
"I don't know about that."
"He does." Berry puffed out his chest like I'd insulted him.
"How do you figure?"
"He looks you in the eye. He only looks people in the eye if he really likes them and trusts them."
"I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Morgan only looks at me for a second or two."
"That's a second or two more than most people."
So now I've been more personal than I like to be, I'll say that this book is wonderful, beautiful, heartfelt, a fairy tale. I say fairy tale because cows that have a drive-in movie theatre for them, townspeople as accepting as those in Durstrand, who ask for your autograph because you have inspiringly steamy and flexible sex at said cow drive-in, and a town that has a life all of its own, are magic. So is the love affair of Morgan and Grant. Magic and beautiful.
Thing is, I didn't need three years. I don't even think I needed three more days.
Could any Seychelles sunset be nearly as beautiful as him?
I loved Grant, after he got over his Morgan-is-limited beliefs. Grant is someone anyone would love to see date their child. I love how he learns to see the light as both a good and limiting thing. He learns to see beyond Morgan's beautiful veneer - that also happens to have demonstrative tics, not something that everyone can do. When he does that he is wonderful for me, and they are cemented as an absolute favourite couple for me now.
Then there is the very interesting FBI agent, Jeff. Jeff is Grant's ex and very much a part of his not too distant past. I enjoyed the Chicago dealings. The enigmatic Rubio. I loathed two antagonists, and I cheered for the two incredibly endearing and engaging protagonists.
"Berry said you bought this place after your mother died."
"Lori - I didn't like to call her mom."
"How come?"
"Because my mother gave birth to me and didn't want me. Lori wanted me and she loved me. Mom isn't a good enough word to describe her."
....
More in depth review at
Why the above comment before I read In The Absence of Light? It's because I get pissy about people stereotyping people on the ASD, I really do.
Going into this book, reading it, was very personal for me. Not because I know the author, I don't. Not because I have anything to do with the book whatsoever, other than I read it. But it has an MC who is autistic. Yes, autistic is the correct terminology, for those who are unsure. It isn't a label, its a diagnosis. That's all. The reason it's so personal for me is because I know a little bit about it and so many people stereotype ASD characters (people) - in books, in movies, in life.
I love the above quote. Superman. Apt description.
I have a son who is on the ASD. High functioning, but who's literally been to hell and back. He has tics - facial and motor - not the same or as severe (now) as Morgan's but that's the way it works, they are different. He has interesting ways of dealing with things, he can get (very) obsessive, he pulls his hair when stressed -
He pulled his hair with his dancing hand.
Like Morgan, he has the hand movements - we jokingly call them spirit fingers -
The busboy - Morgan lifted a dirty glass and held it up to the light hanging over the table. His wayward hand opened and closed several times near his shoulder before returning close to his temple to toss more thoughts.
He has the most brilliant mind, but he cannot look most people in the eyes, and if he does, it's not for long. Like Morgan, if he does give you eye contact he feels comfortable with you, you are trusted and, I feel, privileged.
"And he really likes you."
"I don't know about that."
"He does." Berry puffed out his chest like I'd insulted him.
"How do you figure?"
"He looks you in the eye. He only looks people in the eye if he really likes them and trusts them."
"I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Morgan only looks at me for a second or two."
"That's a second or two more than most people."
So now I've been more personal than I like to be, I'll say that this book is wonderful, beautiful, heartfelt, a fairy tale. I say fairy tale because cows that have a drive-in movie theatre for them, townspeople as accepting as those in Durstrand, who ask for your autograph because you have inspiringly steamy and flexible sex at said cow drive-in, and a town that has a life all of its own, are magic. So is the love affair of Morgan and Grant. Magic and beautiful.
Thing is, I didn't need three years. I don't even think I needed three more days.
Could any Seychelles sunset be nearly as beautiful as him?
I loved Grant, after he got over his Morgan-is-limited beliefs. Grant is someone anyone would love to see date their child. I love how he learns to see the light as both a good and limiting thing. He learns to see beyond Morgan's beautiful veneer - that also happens to have demonstrative tics, not something that everyone can do. When he does that he is wonderful for me, and they are cemented as an absolute favourite couple for me now.
Then there is the very interesting FBI agent, Jeff. Jeff is Grant's ex and very much a part of his not too distant past. I enjoyed the Chicago dealings. The enigmatic Rubio. I loathed two antagonists, and I cheered for the two incredibly endearing and engaging protagonists.
"Berry said you bought this place after your mother died."
"Lori - I didn't like to call her mom."
"How come?"
"Because my mother gave birth to me and didn't want me. Lori wanted me and she loved me. Mom isn't a good enough word to describe her."
....
More in depth review at
June 17, 2015
2.5
So, I'm going to give the unpopular opinion and say the subplot didn't deter my enjoyment of the story as much as Morgan did.
Calm the heck down!
It's not that I didn't like Morgan...I mean, I did...once upon a time in the beginning. But then for some reason he fell undeniably flat and for the life of me I couldn't seem to reconnect. Their romance just didn't really do it for me because when they weren't having sex, they just seemed like friends. And yes, I know, love is like friendship on fire and all that nonsense but I felt no attraction.
The sex was just seriously OTT with those positions and that one time I had to reread a couple of times to see if I got it right. Which,btw, I totally found the perfect gif but decided not to add it lol sorry. I also found this book be be too long and I'll admit to skimming tons after the 40% or so.
As a whole the story line was interesting, the subplot-while over the top and disjointed- was readable, and Jeff in all honesty and IMO was enjoyable. I might or might not have been rooting for him in a corner.
It just never manged to completely win me over.
So, I'm going to give the unpopular opinion and say the subplot didn't deter my enjoyment of the story as much as Morgan did.
Calm the heck down!
It's not that I didn't like Morgan...I mean, I did...once upon a time in the beginning. But then for some reason he fell undeniably flat and for the life of me I couldn't seem to reconnect. Their romance just didn't really do it for me because when they weren't having sex, they just seemed like friends. And yes, I know, love is like friendship on fire and all that nonsense but I felt no attraction.
The sex was just seriously OTT with those positions and that one time I had to reread a couple of times to see if I got it right. Which,btw, I totally found the perfect gif but decided not to add it lol sorry. I also found this book be be too long and I'll admit to skimming tons after the 40% or so.
As a whole the story line was interesting, the subplot-while over the top and disjointed- was readable, and Jeff in all honesty and IMO was enjoyable. I might or might not have been rooting for him in a corner.
It just never manged to completely win me over.
April 5, 2015
This book had all the things I look for when picking up a book. Sometimes, in a book it's there and sometimes not. In The Absence of Light so many boxes got ticked. Romance, mystery, intrigue, drama, unbelievably hot sex, sadness, humour and luckily a .
I loved the two MCs and really, picking the book up was the easy part, putting it down and not wanting it to end was not.
September 25, 2020
Reread because Book 2 is coming soon.
Original review:
I will guarantee you right now that you have no idea what you're walking into with this book. The blurb doesn't come close to preparing you. We have two main components to this story - a romance and some mystery.
The romance - Grant retires from his quasi-maybe-illegal-depending-how-you-look-at-it career and moves to Podunk, Southern USA. There he meets Morgan, who is a brilliant mind, he's artistic, funny, and has a form of autism, which includes involuntary tics that cause those who don't know him to think something is "wrong" with him, "mentally challenged", including Grant at first.
The relationship between Grant and Morgan is nothing short of beautiful. The character building and relationship building is magical, and Wilder writes it flawlessly. Many of you will think that Morgan's autism is very front-and-center in this story, but the beauty is ... it's not. It's a part of him, but the story isn't about his autism, and that's what makes it so perfectly written in my opinion.
The mystery - while Grant has left his former career behind, there are those who have decided not to let him leave. This part of the story had a very Zero at the Bone feel for me, which was a very good thing.
This book is looooong, and that's also a very good thing for me. There is no filler. There is no wasted word. I got what I love in a great story - superb character and relationship development. No insta-love.
And the smexy times - off the charts. Just enough to show the evolution of the relationship, but not be too much either. But still, I repeat, off the charts HAWT!
One of my favorite things about this book was the sarcastic, dry humor. We get Grant's POV throughout, and his thoughts are really quite funny. I giggled quite a few times while being inside his head. The humor really balanced well with the angst, and there was definitely some angst! Wilder actually could've made this a very dark book if she had chosen, because of some of the things these characters went through, but I'm glad she didn't go quite that far.
I could load up here on my favorite quotes, and there are many highlights on my Kindle, but they'd either be spoilers or ones no one would understand without reading the story. I will tell you this, I will never think of a toothpick, a drive-in movie, or even a cow pasture the same way ever again! Read the book and you'll understand these little inside jokes that I have with Morgan and Grant that you don't have yet!
I had only one complaint, and that's I wanted to know more about the Dillon thing altogether. I know it's small, but I really hate not tying up every possible loose end in my mind.
This book is as close to perfection as I've read in a while. It will definitely go to my list of Best of 2015 and will warrant many rereads in the future.
Original review:
I will guarantee you right now that you have no idea what you're walking into with this book. The blurb doesn't come close to preparing you. We have two main components to this story - a romance and some mystery.
The romance - Grant retires from his quasi-maybe-illegal-depending-how-you-look-at-it career and moves to Podunk, Southern USA. There he meets Morgan, who is a brilliant mind, he's artistic, funny, and has a form of autism, which includes involuntary tics that cause those who don't know him to think something is "wrong" with him, "mentally challenged", including Grant at first.
The relationship between Grant and Morgan is nothing short of beautiful. The character building and relationship building is magical, and Wilder writes it flawlessly. Many of you will think that Morgan's autism is very front-and-center in this story, but the beauty is ... it's not. It's a part of him, but the story isn't about his autism, and that's what makes it so perfectly written in my opinion.
The mystery - while Grant has left his former career behind, there are those who have decided not to let him leave. This part of the story had a very Zero at the Bone feel for me, which was a very good thing.
This book is looooong, and that's also a very good thing for me. There is no filler. There is no wasted word. I got what I love in a great story - superb character and relationship development. No insta-love.
And the smexy times - off the charts. Just enough to show the evolution of the relationship, but not be too much either. But still, I repeat, off the charts HAWT!
One of my favorite things about this book was the sarcastic, dry humor. We get Grant's POV throughout, and his thoughts are really quite funny. I giggled quite a few times while being inside his head. The humor really balanced well with the angst, and there was definitely some angst! Wilder actually could've made this a very dark book if she had chosen, because of some of the things these characters went through, but I'm glad she didn't go quite that far.
I could load up here on my favorite quotes, and there are many highlights on my Kindle, but they'd either be spoilers or ones no one would understand without reading the story. I will tell you this, I will never think of a toothpick, a drive-in movie, or even a cow pasture the same way ever again! Read the book and you'll understand these little inside jokes that I have with Morgan and Grant that you don't have yet!
I had only one complaint, and that's I wanted to know more about the Dillon thing altogether. I know it's small, but I really hate not tying up every possible loose end in my mind.
This book is as close to perfection as I've read in a while. It will definitely go to my list of Best of 2015 and will warrant many rereads in the future.
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