This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Squisery" from season 1, which aired on July 22, 2021.

• [In the forest, Squidward grunts as he pushes back some vines and gestures the campers to go ahead. They go on ahead.]
• Squidward: All right. Keep it moving. Stay with the group. No stragglers. [sees that Patrick hasn't moved] Patrick! You're falling behind! [walks up to Patrick, near some rocks] What are you doing?
• Patrick: Oh! Sorry, Mr. Tentacles. I was just [holds up a jellyfish] looking at this cool jelly, see? [lets go of jellyfish]
• Squidward: [screams as the jellyfish stings him, popping his eyes out like popcorn] I'm blind!
• Patrick: Oh, I'll describe it to you, then. [points to jellyfish] It's pink, with pretty spots--
• Squidward: I know what a jellyfish looks like, you dolt!
• [Squidward gets stung again and screams. He shoos the jellyfish away and shakes his head. He takes Patrick's hand and starts pulling him forwards.]
• Squidward: Quit messing around! We need to keep up with the other campers. [notices that Patrick is no longer in his grasp] Hmm? [sees Patrick is sitting down with his backpack] [picks up Patrick's arm and throws it] Yuck! Patrick!
• Patrick: Sorry again, Mr. Tentacles. [arm grows back] [pulls out shoe from backpack and starts tying it] Just tying my shoe. [puts shoe back in backpack and gets up] Ready!
• Squidward: [impatiently stomping tentacles, grumbling] Hmm...hmm. [Patrick catches up, both continue walking] About time. We need to hurry--what?
• Patrick: [shoe is now on his head] Help! [running around] I forgot how shoes work! [screams]
• Squidward: Patrick! [sees Patrick run into the grass, sighs] I'm getting too old for this. [walks in Patrick's direction, grumbling] [pushes past some grass] Patrick? Patrick! [Patrick is heard laughing] Get back here! [runs after Patrick]
• [Patrick is heard laughing again, and Squidward turns around to run after him again. Squidward trips on a piece of coral on the ground and falls off of a cliff.]
• Squidward: Oh! [screams and bumps down the cliff]
• [Squidward is injured from his fall, and Patrick approaches him.]
• Patrick: Oh, Mr. Tentacles. Relaxing, I see. Hey, your legs look funny. Are you okay?
• Squidward: [still on ground] Of course I'm not okay. Look at me! [close-up of his ankles] My ankles are more twisted than a pretzel!
• Patrick: Mmm, pretzel. [rubs belly, then gargles]
• Squidward: Patrick. [snaps fingers] Patrick! [using megaphone] At least tilt your head forward so you don't drown. [tosses away megaphone, then gets drenched with drool as Patrick lifts his head] [brushes off drool]
• Patrick: Mr. Tentacles! You saved my life! Don't worry! I'm gonna save yours [salutes] too!
• Squidward: [backing up] Um, actually. I'm okay. I'll just lie here in the middle of this uncharted wilderness until someone else comes along and fines me. [chuckles nervously]
• Patrick: [picking up Squidward] You're funny!
• Squidward: Ow! My ankles! Put me down!
• Patrick: [tosses Squidward back onto the ground] Oh, I'm sorry. My bad.
• Squidward: [screams as Patrick drags him by the legs] Stop! Not my ankles!
• Patrick: [lets go of Squidward, frustrated] Well, geez, make up your mind already!
• Squidward: Look, Patrick. We're gonna have to stay here until I've [holds up ankles] healed a bit. That means we're going to need--
• Patrick: [holding up three wieners] Cocktail wieners?
• Squidward: What? No! We need shelter, [shows tentacle, which is in an ice cube] to get us out of this freezing fog! Didn't you read the camp handbook?
• Patrick: [roasting the wieners, using the camp handbook as a campfire] What is... "canned ham-brook"?
• Squidward: Ugh, never mind. Just find us some shelter already.
• Patrick: [salutes] Yes, sir, Counselor, sir! [runs away and hits a tree, then continues onward]
• French Narrator: [reading time card] Many chilly hours later...
• [Squidward is still on the ground at night, shivering. Patrick comes back, wiping his hands, and stands on him.]
• Patrick: There you are! Well, quit playing hide and seek. The shelter [points] is ready. [jumps off Squidward and carries him to his shelter] Check it out. I built us a rock.
• Squidward: [unimpressed] You built...a rock?
• Patrick: Uh-huh.
• Squidward: Out of logs?
• Patrick: Yep!
• Squidward: [pointing to an actual rock nearby] Right next to an actual rock?
• Patrick: Correct.
• Squidward: You're a moron.
• Patrick: Aw, you're just saying that! Let's get you in, out of the cold. [lifts up the rock, and both go inside] [throws Squidward onto a log bed] Now, I'll use my body heat to warm you up! [pats belly] I had spicy nachos for breakfast, so [shows butt, which is glowing orange] my butt is definitely the warmest part for me. [jumps onto Squidward]
• Squidward: Ow! Just leave me [shoves Patrick off bed] alone! Huh?
• Patrick: [with creepy smile] I'm afraid I can't do that, Mr. Tentacles. Until you're all better, I'm [head rotates] going to do everything for you. [holds up blanket] See? I made you a blanket! [puts blanket onto Squidward]
• Squidward: Well, that's actually very thoughtful of-- [sneezes, blanket turns into urchins that stick onto him and Patrick] [both scream and take off urchins, grows hives] I'm allergic to urchins, you clod!
• Patrick: [pulling urchin off head] Oh, not cold anymore, huh? [holds up bowl of food] Maybe you're hungry then.
• Squidward: [holding up tentacle] Actually, I'm still pretty full from--
• Patrick: [waving spoonful of food] Here comes the seaplane! Choo-choo! [feeds Squidward]
• Squidward: [spits out food] Patrick, that soup is awful! It tastes like dirt.
• Patrick: [off-screen, close-up of Squidward's mouth] That's because it is dirt! [eats spoonful of dirt] Mmm. [tosses spoon] But don't worry. I made you a [pulls out makeshift toothbrush from a stick and pinecone] toothbrush.
• Squidward: Huh?
• Patrick: [brushes Squidward's teeth with makeshift toothbrush] Brushy brushy brushy! All done!
• Squidward: [close-up of mouth covered in spikes] Huh?! [through hissing] Thank you.
• Patrick: And if you need to use the bathroom, I built a toilet too! [close-up of "toilet," which has pipes pumping through it and a jellyfish chamber]
• Squidward: Uh, I think I'll just hold it till we're back at camp.
• Patrick: Suit yourself. [hops onto toilet] Ah. [hops off] All right. You spilled my yummy dirt, [pointing] so I'm gonna find more food. Be back in a while. [lifts up rock] Don't go anywhere. [drops rock and locks it with key]
• Squidward: If that moron's food doesn't kill me, his toilet sure will. I gotta get out of here!
• [Squidward tries to stand up, but he fails and falls to the ground. He then crawls to the keyhole, and uses the makeshift toothbrush to unlock the rock.]
• Squidward: Haha, success! [crawls away] I'm free! I'm free! [bumps into sea moose, which growls] I'm doomed.
• [Patrick comes back with supplies, and sees the sea moose growling at Squidward.]
• Patrick: [drops supplies and spits out pinecone] [pointing] Get away from Mr. Tentacles! No one crushes my counselor [steps on Squidward] but me!
• [The sea moose flares its nostrils. Patrick burps loudly at it, which makes the sea moose whimper and run away.]
• Squidward: [gets carried by Patrick] Hmm? [eyes widen] Oh. [imagines Patrick with luscious blond hair] [smiling] Oh... you... you saved me, Patrick.
• Patrick: Well, duh. I said I was here to do everything for you.
• [The scene bubble transitions to Patrick and Squidward back at the cabin, hanging up a decoration on the campfire. Patrick slurps it up like a piece of spaghetti, and burps. Bubble transition to Squidward painting a portrait of Patrick on an easel. He finishes, and shows Patrick the painting. Patrick laughs, then takes the painting, takes a bite out of it, and burps. Bubble transition to Patrick and Squidward playing checkers, with rocks as chess pieces. Squidward scores a checkmate, causing Patrick to knock over the board, use a dustpan and broom to pick up the rocks, and put them into a cooking pot. He mixes the pot, then pours the liquid into two bowls. Patrick clinks his bowl with Squidward's, and the two drink the liquid. Squidward burps. Bubble transition to Squidward reading a book, using Patrick as a coffee table. Squidward sighs, and letters spelling the word "CONTENT" come out from his mouth. Bubble transition to Squidward dancing with Patrick.]
• Squidward: You know, Patrick, at first, I thought I was gonna die out here thanks to your idiocy, but this has turned out to be a lovely experience.
• Patrick: I also thought we were going to die. [they dance on the ceiling]
• Squidward: If you had told me all those weeks ago that I'd be here with you now, dancing through the-- [gasps] What?! We're dancing!
• Patrick: Well, I'm dancing. You're just following. [hums]
• Squidward: Huh? Huh? [picks up Patrick] No, you fool. [drops Patrick] This means my ankles are better! Whoo-hoo! I'm healed! [packs up suitcase] We can finally go back to Kamp Koral!
• Patrick: You wanna go back?
• Squidward: Of course, I do! As soon as possible.
• Patrick: [whimpers] I thought we were happy here.
• Squidward: Well, you thought wrong. [walking away] We're leaving.
• Patrick: [gets in front of Squidward] But I don't wanna leave! This is the only home I remember! Look! [holds out a clarinet made of leaves] I made you a clarinet out of leaves! It sounds great. Listen!
• Squidward: [screams and runs away] Those are poison kelp leaves!
• Patrick: [with swollen lips] Oh, that explains the itching.
• Squidward: [runs into Patrick, who lands on top of his feet] Ow! Patrick! My ankles! Again!
• Patrick: Oh, sorry, Mr. Tentacles. Does that mean we get to stay?
• Squidward: No! No more waiting! We are [pointing] heading back to camp, even if you have to carry me the whole way!
• Patrick: Well, fine! But we're keeping this place as a vacation home. Maybe we can rent it out.
• Squidward: A one-bedroom in this neighborhood? Good luck. [Patrick picks him up and straps him to his body]
• [Patrick opens up the rock and makes his way through the forest. A tree leaf hits Squidward in the face. This then happens again. Patrick climbs onto a sea moose and scouts the area, and the two notice each other. They all scream and run in opposite directions. Patrick walks into a lake.]
• Squidward: Wait, wait, wait--
• Patrick: We're gonna make it, buddy. [Squidward gargles as his head is underwater]
• Squidward: [makes it out of the water and wheezes] [groans, Patrick shrugs]
• [Cut to Patrick still walking in the forest, exhausted.]
• Patrick: I can't do it. I can't walk anymore. [falls to the ground]
• Squidward: Oh, no. This is it. We're gonna die out here, lost in the middle of... [the scene changes to reveal they are at Kamp Koral] Kamp Koral?
• Patrick: [running to the cabin] Oh, boy! We made it!
• Squidward: [walking in pain] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
• [They open the cabin door. SpongeBob is reading a comic book and Sandy is holding a box with a tool.]
• Sandy: Oh, hey fellas.
• Squidward: That's it? "Howdy, fellas"? Why didn't you send a search party for us? I've been [points to Patrick] trapped in this buffoon's wooden rock for weeks!
• SpongeBob: [puts down comic] Send out a search party? Why would we do that? [continues reading]
• Sandy: It sure sounded like y'all were havin' fun playin' house.
• Squidward: You could hear us?
• Sandy: Well, we ain't got beans in our ears. [points to the wooden rock outside] Y'all were only 10 feet away!
• Squidward: [off-screen] Huh?! [opens his mouth wide, then hits his head with a frying pan twice]
• Sandy: [whistle blows] Whoo-wee! Chow time!
• SpongeBob: [both running off] Come on, Sandy! See ya at the canteen! [both laugh]
• [A sea moose walks by, and starts sleeping on the cabin.]
• Squidward: Well, at least we can get some real food in us. Let's go!
• Patrick: I hope they're serving dirt!
• Squidward: Mm-hmm... [tries to open the door] [sees the sea moose's shell] Oh! We're trapped in here! Not again!
• Patrick: Hmm? [preparing to dance] Shall we?
• Squidward: [unimpressed] This time, I'll lead.
• [The two begin dancing, and start dancing on the ceiling. The camera zooms out outside, and off-screen, Squidward is heard breaking his ankles again.]
• Squidward: Ow! My ankles!