Based off of their dialogue, the editor is a very anxious, tired character. Their most prominent appearance is CANT.STOP.BRUSHING, where they go on various rants about things going wrong in their lives, including falling out of touch with their mother, envy of a former neighbor named Derrick, and conflicts surrounding people above them. Somehow, the editor was not fired for inserting these extremely personal exploits into the videos.
Their intended job is to provide disclaimers and clarity on various subjects discussed in the videos. For example, that the flavors in the Go-Gurt collaboration do not contain genuine nether quartz or redstone dust. The editor appears to also be part of a potential coverup, giving various contradictory claims on "Enjoyecules." Initially, the editor denies their existence, then says they're only hypothetical, then implies they are likely to a point they have a scientific name, and ultimately claims they're only a joke.
The editor also appears to have an indifference towards hygiene, mentioning that they live in an apartment with "a tower of unwashed dishes." In order to combat this smell, they bought a jasmine-scented candle, but neglect to actually clean due to a spider and several dead moths.
— Response to Randy Peters referring to the Vanilla Quartz flavor
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WARNING! This stunt is performed by a professional gnar-shredder. Do not try to recreate any of the dairy-based stunts shown.
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— Disclaimer during scene of Cool Cat standing on a skateboard
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**Contains no actual traces of redstone ***Contains no actual traces of quartz
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— Doubling and tripling down on the flavor
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* The existence of Enjoyocules has yet to be scientifically proven and remains a theoretical speculation.
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— Response to Randy Peters claiming to have extracted Enjoyecules
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DISCLAIMER: The correlation between toothbrushing and Enjoyecules (Genu alapas moleculis) has yet to be proven and remains a theoretical speculation with very little scientific proof. The existence of Enjoyecules (Genu alapas moleculis) is as well unproven. Ok, nothing said here has any scientific barring. This brush is just fun or "more fun" than your regular toothbrush. Maybe a connection to Minecraft makes it more fun? I don't know. They just made up some scientific stuff as a joke. Was it a funny joke? Who knows? Humor is subjective and all that. Personally, I got myself a giggle. But my sense of humor has never been my strong side. Look at me rambling on. My mom always said that i talked too much. It's ironic when we don't talk much these days. I should call. But I know it will just be all "You don't call anymore?", "Why aren't you married?", "Why don't you get a better job?". I'M NEVER GONNA BE LIKE DERRICK, MOM; GET OVER IT!!! Like, get off my back already! Derrick was my next-door neighbor growing up. He's on his way to becoming a state attorney general. How do you compete with that? I'm writing disclaimers that nobody reads and coming home to an empty apartment with a tower of unwashed dishes. They've started to smell. But I bought a jasmine-scented candle yesterday, so it's not that bad now. I would clean more often, but I don't have the energy, you know. And a spider has claimed the cleaning cupboard, and it's very territorial, so I don't go there anymore. Only if the spider could pay part of the rent would this not be a problem. But sadly my landlord doesn't consider webbed-up flies and half-eaten moths to be valid payments. Oh well, life, it's a pickle. Anyway, the stuff being said here is not based on anything scientific. Have a good day, and so on.
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— The editor's mental health coming into question
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Hello, me again! I'm sorry to lay all my problems on you like that. It was maybe a tad too much. It's not your burden to bear, I know that. But I'm thankful that you listened. If you read this, that is. Maybe no one did. Who knows? Again, sorry and goodbye!
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— The editor reprising their feelings
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Do you also imagine these people are clapping for you? That's what I do sometimes here in my editing room. Feels nice to feel appreciated sometimes. My boss says my paycheck is appreciation enough. I kinda disagree. Sorry, there I go again. Rambling. What to do, what to do? I will stop now. Anyway, goodbye! For real, this time.
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— The editor's final dialogue in CANT.STOP.BRUSHING
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Staged disagreement, not a real squabble. The production wants to emphasize that everyone got their Wooble. And you can too!
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— The editor denying a riot
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Woobles kits do not come to life. Available for a nominal fee. Nominal fee varies by location. Not responsible for excessive joy. Batteries not included because they're not needed. Limited edition. Supplies last until they don't. May cause envy in con-crocheting friends. Proceed with excitement.
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— The editor denying the animation of the Woobles
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Disclaimer: The makers of PEZ and Minecraft want to emphasize that consuming PEZ does not enhance the ability to rap or perform any other rhyme-based ballads. This tablet-based candy does not stimulate the muslce groups enough to effortlessly follow any kind of funky, groovy, or hip beat (the same applies for any jam described as "far out" or "cat's meow"). It's just a candy. But a very good one at that. I remember I ate them a lot when I was a kid. But I had a dispenser from another franchise I can't mention due to legal reasons. Boring, I know! But I've been down that road before, and trust me, it's not worth the trouble. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. PEZ dispensers are easy to open... or most of the time. I mean, unless you're like me and have the dexterity of a potato. My dad always wanted me to do sports, but it was never my thing, you know. Like, I tried, I really did, but it felt more like I did it to make him happy. While Dad wanted me to be the next big soccer-, hockey-, or lacrosse legend, I dreamed about writing. I wanted to write a series of fantasy books or a script for a big blockbuster. I guess I satisfied no one with the result, but that's life. But I do write some poetry on the side. You wouldn't be interested in reading it, would you? I know it's awkward to critique something when someone blindsided you with their work, so I won't. You can't answer either way, so here goes: In youth's tender bloom, where hearts first meet, Love pure and new, a feeling so sweet. Eyes locked in silence, souls intertwined, A promise whispered, love undefined. Though time may part our destined ways, First love's glow forever stays. A treasure held deep, a secret, a flame, In the heart's chamber, it whispers your name. Now I feel dumb! Forgot I showed you that. I wrote that for a special someone but never sent it. I know, dumb. I should've just gone for it, right? But do people still like that sort of stuff? I think it is more about my fear of rejection. So, I never sent it. Now, that person is engaged. If you snooze, you lose. Anyway, I should get back to work. The makers of PEZ and Minecraft don't condone using the dispensers for anything other than its intended purpose... This is so funny because I tried using it as a bookmark once, and let's just say my copy of "Dr. Rosenthal's Guide to Quantum Love and Sandwich Theory" will never be the same. Oh, did I mention these come in flavors? Let me just scroll back in my text and check... Yeah, I did. But I'm supposed to say something that there are more flavors, but I can't really remember. Not that it matters much to me right now. My taste buds are still recovering from that time my next-door-neighbor Derrick convinced me to try his "super secret" chili recipe when were kids. Spoiler alert: it didn't go well. But enough about me. Before I go, remember, life is like a PEZ dispenser: it has its ups and downs, but at least it gives you candy along the way. As for my journey, it's been more like a dispenser that only dispenses disappointment. Yum.
