This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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You text a girl and before you know it, you’ve got a response. Seems like she’s enjoying the convo, but does a fast reply really mean she’s into you, or could it just mean nothing at all? Keep reading: we’ll dive into all the possible reasons a girl might respond quickly, how the context of the convo can affect the meaning behind her text, and how to react.
Things You Should Know
- If a girl responds quickly to your messages, it could be because she likes you and wants to keep the conversation moving.
- It could also mean she’s just interested in the topic of conversation or thinks it’s rude not to reply fast.
- If you like her, text back as you regularly would. If you’re not into her, or don’t want to come on too strong, try waiting a few minutes or more to reply.
Steps
Possible Reasons She Replies Quickly
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She likes you. Yep, if she’s quick to respond to your messages, it could be because she’s crushing on you! She might not want to keep you hanging too long, or might not be able to help replying back fast.
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She happens to be on her phone. If she’s already on her phone (or computer or wherever you’re chatting), it might just be convenient to reply quickly.Advertisement
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She’s interested in the conversation. If you’re talking about something super engaging, she might reply fast because she’s invested and wants to keep up the flow of conversation.
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She doesn’t like you. Y’know how when your crush texts you, you might wait a while to reply so you don’t seem too eager? Well, it’s possible this girl’s replying quickly because she’s not overthinking it, because she’s just not that into you.
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She’s respectful. She might just consider it basic kindness to respond in a timely fashion to a text. Many people view it as rude to leave a conversation hanging too long.
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She likes the attention. If she’s bored or feeling down, she might just appreciate someone to talk to. She may not be thinking about it too much or realize she’s creating any confusion.
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It’s just her texting style. She could be a fast texter-backer by nature. If she’s glued to her phone, she might just be in the habit of replying back quickly.[1]
Considering the Context
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When is this convo taking place? If you happen to know she’s texting you while she’s at a concert or party or other fun, attention-grabbing event, it means you’re a priority. If she’s just in class or waiting for the bus, it’s possible she’s just texting because it’s convenient.
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What are you talking about? Are you discussing juicy gossip or urgent school-related stuff or hot-button political issues? Or are you just sharing memes and talking about your day? If the first, she might just be generally invested in the convo—if the second, she’s invested in you.
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Who initiated the conversation? Did she start things up, or did you? If she goes out of her way to chat with you, it could mean she likes talking to you.
- Note that if she rarely initiates the convo, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not into you—she might just be shy.
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What counts as “quick,” anyway? “Quick” means different things to different people. If she’s on her phone a lot, she might not think a few minutes’ wait is a quick turnaround, but if she’s rarely on her phone, responding 3 days later might be considered speedy.[2]
- Consider how active she usually is on her phone. If she’s pretty addicted to her screens, a fast reply may not be super meaningful.
- If you’ve chatted with her before, consider how fast she’s responded in the past. Is this just how she texts? Or is she replying more quickly than usual?
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What’s her tone like? If her replies are warm and friendly and invite further conversation, then she’s probably enjoying talking to you, at least as a friend. If they’re short and abrupt, she may be offering the bare minimum.
- Consider how your in-person interactions usually go. If she's warm and friendly in person but cold in texts, she may just not be much of a texter.[3]
How to Respond
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If you like her and want to show her, reply back fast. Why hide how you feel? Don’t overthink it: just keep the convo going at a natural pace.[4]
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If you don’t want to seem overeager, wait a bit before responding. If you’re not into her, or you’re into her and want to come off cool and collected, wait a minute or 2 before texting back.
- If you like her, maybe give her a chance to double-text. Not double-texting doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but double-texting is a pretty big indicator that she’s enjoying the convo.
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Add a flirty emoji if you like her. If you’re feeling brave, spice things up a little with a winky face (😉), smirk (😏), or some other suggestive emoticon. (But not the eggplant. Just…don’t.)
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Forget texting—call her up if you like her. If you know she’s not up to anything, kick it old school and give her a ring. Chatting over the phone could be a great way to charm her and cultivate some intimacy, as well as better understand her tone.[5]
- Try opening with something like, “Hey, I just felt like this would be easier than texting,” and if you’re feeling gutsy, you might even add, “Besides, I like the sound of your voice.”
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://textgod.com/short-or-slow-replies/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201909/the-do-s-and-don-ts-texting-in-new-relationship
- ↑ https://textgod.com/short-or-slow-replies/
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-long-should-i-wait-to-text-my-date-crush-2016-5
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201909/the-do-s-and-don-ts-texting-in-new-relationship