Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by Steve Harvey

Other authors: Denene Millner

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I very much enjoyed this book; was surprised a movie could be made from it, but I loved it! Some actual good, eye-opening lessons in this. (

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LyndaWolters1 | Apr 3, 2024 |

I would have to estimate that roughly 7% of this book applied to me. That 7% though was good advice. But let's be real. This book verges on misogynistic. (

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Katie_Roscher | Jan 18, 2019 |

This book helped me to understand men better though personally for me at least it seemed like a lot of the stuff was kind of obvious. I enjoyed reading it though and it was a very quick read for me. (

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rabidgummibear | Nov 28, 2018 |

Steve Harvey's take on men and what they need to be happy in a relationship. Our love, loyalty, and the cookie. He makes it simple. Harvey's writing is funny. He was in stand-up comic and it shows in how he writes. I laughed a lot while reading the book. He has certain rules, like wait 90 days before getting it on with the "cookie."

Harvey's standards for girls and women is this: men should "PROFESS, PROVIDE and PROTECT." Remember these 3 P's in setting standard for yourself. Why should you settle for anything less? If he does not do these 3 P's for you, say NEXT! There are guys who'll always have a girl on their arm, one prettier than the previous one but without a title! You deserve a title - "this is my girlfriend," "this is my lady," you should have some kind of relationship with him. If he digs you, you'll have a title. If not, date until you meet the right guy who will give you that title.

Harvey's rules apply to manly men. I cannot picture girl guys doing the 3 P's. As a girl or woman, you would have to ask yourself, do I want to be with a guy who cannot profess that I am his girl, provide for me and the family, and protect me? These things apply to healthy men who have it going on. There are of course, exceptions with men who cannot deliver because of their own problems. (

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Lulileih | Feb 28, 2018 |

This seems too simple an approach to understanding men, but as Steve Harvey says, men are simple. There are some enlightening, common-sense points made here, very readable and with humor. You'll have to accept that traditional man/woman attitudes continue to exist, no matter how progressive you are. If you're having trouble attracting a good man, or understanding the one you've got, consider this as a potential resource. (

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Salsabrarian | Feb 2, 2016 |

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dinanabil | Feb 28, 2014 |

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Dina_Nabil | Feb 28, 2014 |

I enjoyed the book and loved the movie even more. I suspect they are going to muck it up with the sequel though. Both the book and the movie left me fully satisfied, not longing for more. I suspect the sequel is just a money grab that will disappoint viewers - like the Sex and the City movies, totally unnecessary because the SATC book and TV show told the whole story. When a work is finished, be done with it, already and move on to a different work. (

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ShavonJones | Oct 2, 2013 |

Mrg. A few kernels of wisdom here about the ways men and women tend to think differently about love, but mostly reductionist. And the tone put my back up. (

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lycomayflower | Jan 9, 2013 |

This is the book to read if you have ever wanted to understand you boyfriend’s perspective in your relationship. It helps you decipher what he’s really thinking about your relationship. Even if you no in a relationship it helps you become a better partner for future relationships. If you’re a hopeless romantic with standards like me, this is a great book that inspires hope that a good guy is out there. This book helps show girls the difference between guys who want some and the ones who actually want a future with you. I read this book because of the author is the amazing and funny Harvey. The fact that it was written by him and that it is a book about relationships made me interested in the make perspective on relationships. I started reading it because I thought it could help me understand what a real relationship should be like. After I read it, it solidified that it’s okay to have standards. Instead of telling me to change it supported the idea that having standards was a good thing.

edspicer | Nov 15, 2012 |

Ok so, I definitely have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, I admire the fact that Steve Harvey gives it to you straight and without a TRACE of subtlety (or sugar-coating if you will), the reasons why the majority of men ARE the way they are, and why we, as women, are unknowingly encouraging them to continue bad habits. He made some very valid points, though I felt that many of them should ALREADY be obvious to woman everywhere (i.e. set standards for yourself, RESPECT yourself in order to be respected, don't accept being just his "plaything"....like, cmon now).

On the other hand-and I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I was raised in a time where chivalry was (and still IS) unheard of, and feminist views were strongly imparted in schools and within society- I simply cannot accept Steve's obvious conclusion that women need to put forth MORE than half the effort to land a GOOD man. Steve even goes on to (indirectly) blame women for their cheating spouses; their child's uninvolved father. Call me young and ignorant, but the real truth here, is that boys in this day and age just AREN'T being taught to be REAL MEN anymore. Someone needs to write THEM a self-help book on how to smarten the HELL up.

Overall, I recommend this book for those with an open mind and a need to understand our male counterparts a little better-just take what you need from it.

End venting. (

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rmboland | Jul 9, 2012 |

While working, a library customer approached me asking for this particular book. And at once, I was intrigued by both her interest and the title. Once I started reading, I thought to myself: “Where was this book when I was dating?”

Steve Harvey offers practical advice for all ladies to the inner workings of the male mind; namely how they view themselves among other men and in society. In a nutshell, men view themselves in three categories: 1. Who they are, 2. What they do, and 3. How much he makes. And if he has all three things together, then he can focus on adding a woman into their lives.

Harvey offers advice on how to be a “keeper” instead of a “throwback,” what 3 things men are looking for in a woman (1. Support, 2, Loyalty, and 3, the “Cookie”). But Harvey’s quote about the fear of failure really spoke to me. “The number one cause of failure in this country is the fear of failure.” This can be applied to roughly everything. But in context, he was talking about not being afraid to lose your man just because you’re afraid you’ll find no one afterwards. (

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philae_02 | May 1, 2012 |

I am torn by this book. On the one hand it's true, on the other, it's disturbing. The thing I liked least about the book is that Harvey seems to think women should accept men while changing themselves...to please the man. Um, okay, while I am willing to admit that he's right about what a man would like and how he thinks, I'm wondering if he'll right a sequel telling MEN what we like and how we think. We have dozens of magazines telling us all about how to please men. When is someone going to address us and our needs?????? However, aside from my obvious distaste for the motives of this book, yes, it is well written, well thought out and yes, sad to say, probably true. (

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Debisreading | Apr 22, 2012 |

At first, I was hesitant about selecting this item for a School Library Media Center’s collection but was pleased to see that it is recommended for ninth through twelfth graders by Follett’s Titlewave. In addition, when I read Kam Williams’ review his suggested target audience would fit most of the students who I have worked with in alternative school settings. Therefore, I might not recommend this book for all high school Media Centers but I would suggest it for populations where female students would be interested in reading a fun yet informative book about dating relationships and/or males who want to know what Steve Harvey is telling young ladies about them as this book would meet high interest and possibly low reading level in an urban setting. (

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misssmith4 | Apr 4, 2011 |

This book has been sitting on my TBR pile for about a year and I decided to read this book now for a few reasons. One of the reasons is I had seen Steve Harvey on the Dr. Phil Show promoting this very book. Reason number 2 is with the problems I am currently having in my marriage I thought this book could possibly enlighten me about men. Now you know there is a third reason, always a third reason. The third reason is because I had read Maria Bastillo's book Act Like a Gentleman, Think Like a Woman, (Absolutely wonderful book), which was written in response to this book. Those are the reasons I decided to read Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man.

So far I have to say this book is funny, informative and is proof that women are superior to men. Okay now that I have your attention you maybe asking yourself why I say women are superior to men. I will just say that is my opinion. The reason I feel that way is because from just reading 50 pages, I feel that men have no depth to their personalities. Women can handle a lot while a man can only handle 3 things and that is to Profess their love for you, (possibly only once in a blue moon), provide for you and protect you and that is it. Men think that is all that matters, those are important yet a true man can grow and learn to add more to their personalities. Women are able to achieve those 3 elements and also include nurturing, listening, friendship and we can also make sure you get the best damn "cookie" in the bedroom without thinking of ourselves. Yes that is how I feel from reading 50 pages.

Now this book is written in 3 parts. Part 1 is the Mind Set of a Man. My first two paragraphs about sum that section up. Part 2: Why Men do What they do. I could say a few choice words or statements to answer this question but I will wait till late to voice them. Part 3: The Playbook: How to win the Game (Do we really want to?). By winning the game Steve is implying that all women want is the ring.

So I have read part 2 and still I believe that women are superior to men. I also feel that men are very self centered. Now part two discusses Why men are the way they are. Well I will try to say this as nice as possible,Men don't think with their brains, they think with their... you know what they think with. In this book Steve Harvey "enlightens" women to the fact that men do what they do because they can. I have to say that is true, or better yet I will say me do what they do because they think they can. This section informs us that men only want one thing from women and I don't have to tell you what it is. Men also think about women in two ways either a Keeper or a Throw back. Also covered in this section is Why Men Cheat. From personal experience I have to say men cheat because they are a**holes, idiots, and only care about themselves. I do have to say that I found the cheating chapter informative and did help me in realizing that I don't want to be with a man who cheats. Once a man cheats he is always going to be a cheater. Even after being married for 21 years, he will always be a cheater. This section can be helpful if you are open to actually realizing that things about yourself, men and how you handle relationships.

Now onto the Playbook, so that us women can win the true man of our dreams!!! I have to tell you I wrote in this book. Don't get mad or angry, I usually don't write in books but this section allows it and so I decided to do it. So that I can set my standards and get the respect I deserve from a man.

The third section tells us how to get the final prize of the ring. Steve Harvey reiterates over and over again that men are simple beings. They don't think as much about commitment as women do. I found this section very informative in telling women what to do and not to do to gain the commitment they want. Women should not get into deep with a man before asking questions. Steve mentions 5 questions we should ask over a period of time and before giving up the cookie.

There is so much a woman will learn from reading Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man. You will gain a better understanding of how 2 dimensional men really are. Now that I have read Steve Harvey's book I am hoping to try some of his suggestions mentioned in the book. I also found myself analyzing my current relationship which seems on the verge of a divorce. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a wonderful book for all women to read.

Remember Women to always act Like a Lady, because it will make your man happy!!! (

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crazy4reading | Aug 20, 2010 |

I came into this book with high expectations. I thought that I would get an insight into a man's point of view. Instead I walked into a book out of the 50s. Harvey talked about the need for women to supply their men with sex, lest they go elsewhere. The way that he referred to men was as if they were children, unable to control their impulses. And women were the mothers and enablers. All in all, I was disgusted by this line of thought. I like Steve Harvey as a comedian but that is all. Should he write anything else, I won't be reading it. (

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muttix3 | Nov 9, 2009 |

Steve Harvey gives real life, honest advice about relationships. I wish he had written this book sooner, so I would have known how to better deal with a few things in a few of my own relationships. I will share the info I learned with others, though. (

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leahd67 | Oct 28, 2009 |

Insight we may not have otherwise gotten...well worth the quick and short read... (

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Gigi.Gimenez | Oct 26, 2009 |

This book seems to tell us the male secrets and how we should deal with relationships or potential relationships. I for one intend to try it out because what i've been doing thus far hasn't really been working out for me. So what's to lose. He offers a lot of advice that I would tell my daughter as well. (

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ritaliccious | Jul 29, 2009 |

Insightful, funny and at times hilarious. Good read for my daughter of 20, at the beginning of her first serious relationship and for me, after almost 30 years spent with my husband. Eye opening and entertaining at the same time; in one word: Excellent! (

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Capetonian | Jul 15, 2009 |

I appreciated some of what was written - but mostly valued the humor in it. I don't like some of his opinions, but felt that others were insightful. Overall, just average. (

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bookbutterfly | Jul 9, 2009 |

Excellent book. He gives a few tips to women with a comedic twist. He really reinforces the 3 P that men follow in life when choosing their future wife. He says you should wait 90 days like if you were in a job to give a man the benefits. This was an excellent book that I finished in almost one day. (

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Shannan79 | Apr 21, 2009 |

Comedian Steve Harvey of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show shares with us his ideas on how a woman can catch and keep a man. He gives us a heads up (in case we didn't already know this) that most men are out for one thing only. There are tips on how spot a mama's boy, how to train your man and even answers the questions you've always wanted to ask a man but never did.

I enjoyed this book much more than I thought I would. A lot of woman who've read this book have been offended or turned off by his thoughts saying that he's sexist. First of all he's a comedian not a relation ship guru but second of all there's a lot of truth to what he shares. If you start a relationship by letting the man run all over you that's what he'll do the whole time but if you put your foot down in the very beginning he'll either shape up or ship out. And no one knows this better than Steve Harvey... his wife did it to him when they first got together.

Nothing I read was new to me but seeing it laid out like this by a man just kind of gives you a refreshing take on it. Harvey is direct at times but he's always honest with humor thrown in. And the book is not just for single women in the dating world but for any woman in a relationship or not. I was reminded of a few things I could do to improve my own marriage and I recommend this to anyone who wants to understand men better. (

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24girl | Apr 17, 2009 |

This is a hilarious read. Steve Harvey's natural humor comes through in the book. Aside of being vunny, his advice is sound and logical. This is a good read for single women and married women alike to shed a little insight into the mind of men. (

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Toyi | Apr 3, 2009 |

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