Ape's 2013 Challenge (10)

Thread #1 (Book 1)
Thread #2 (Book 2)
Thread #3 (Books 3-4)
Thread #4 (Books 5-7)
Thread #5 (Books 8-9)
Thread #6 (Books 10-12)
Thread #7 (Books 13-13)
Thread #8 (Books 13-16)
Thread #9 (Books 17-17)

Books read: 21
Pages read: 7,046

January:
1. Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond
2. The Second Opinion by Michael Palmer
3. Plague by H.W. Bernard
4. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

February:
5. Smoking Ears and Screaming Teeth by Trevor Norton
6. Psychlone by Greg Bear
7. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
8. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
9. Being Written by William Conescu

March:
10. The Drunken Botanist by Amy Stewart
11. Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
12. Seventh Son by Orson Scott Card
13. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

April:
14. The Four Fingers of Death by Rick Moody
15. The Best of the Rejection Collection by Matthew Diffee
16. Ancient Greece by Paul Cartledge

May:
17. The Lost World by Michael Crichton
18. The Black Country by Alex Grecian
19. Notes for a War Story by Gianni Pacinotti
20. Sciencia by Burkard Polster

June:
Congo by Michael Crichton

Yay! New thread.

Hi there, Leah! *Smooches*

Zombie peanuts. Different thread; same topic. Oh wait...you meant the ship-Stephen's-ass-all-over-the-U.S. topic? Oops. :P

Oh yes! I've seen those. In fact, you may have linked me to them in the past. Either way, the blog is really cool! :)

Happy new thread. *glitter*

Zombie peanuts! Ha, of course there are zombie peanuts. ;)

Happy new thread.... big smiles :D

New thread! New Thread! Read all about it. : )

#5: I probably did. I have that annoying habit of laughing at a joke, forgetting it, then repeating it 10 minutes later. Lucky you. ;)

#7: But of course! There's zombie everything. :P

Es: Ooooooh, sparkly...

Megan: It's genius, isn't it!? :)

Hi there, Jennifer! *Tries to smile back. Fails*

Kim: *Hugs* :)

I like all of your annoying habits, Sara! :D

Okay, I've resolved not to pester you about meetups any more. It occurred to me that there's no point in forcing "help" on people who don't want it when there are plenty of people who both want and need assistance. In particular, I realized that I hadn't yet made a donation toward MrMorphy's medical bills, and any contribution that I would have made toward your travel expenses could go there instead. As long as the goal there remains unmet, I won't mention your potential travels again.

Thanks, Zoe, Morphy definitely needs it more than I do.

And I'm rendered speechless except for a heartfelt thank you.

***

Except I can't help but be obnoxious since this IS Stephen's thread and therefore will stick my tongue out at him.

:)

Not too much glitter, the herpes of crafts supplies it is and all.

ETA: I can see what you're saying, Zoe.

Where does the glitter come from? Do you have a wand, or do you just reach in the bag and grab a fist full?

:) I have a wand, so I don't necessarily get the herpes of it.

If I had a bag, I'd always be covered in glitter.

A wand that disperses the herpes of crafts supplies. I see...

Yep, that is I. The glitter princess :)

*Licks Es' glitter wand*

I feel like we're doing this wrong...

#11: Riiight. You just want me to put you in that box with a sexy zombie instead of a hobo.

lol @ the glitter wand sex talk. Pervs. :P

What? There is something perverted about glitter wands? *Whistles innocently*

Wait, what?! I am NOT perverted! It's not my fault he makes everything I say dirty.

And the herpes of craft supplies thing is NOT my invention. It's just that once you get it on you, you can't get rid of it.

Stephen. Don't. Lick. The Wand. You'll get the glitter on all of the things you lick with general regularity.

#23: Nooo. But licking them...well, that's a whole different story. And gay to boot. :P Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just saying.

#24: Ok, you're probably not the perv, so we'll blame Stephen. ;)

And glitter doesn't digest very well (dude, don't blame me; blame google; it made me look at that). Or is that when you eat unicorns? I forget.

#24 Hmmm...the thought of glitter EVERYWHERE, LOL! #25...and then there is EVERYWHERE! LOL

Es: Oh, good point, I don't want everyone to know where I've been licking, so I won't do that any more.

Sara: I don't know what causes that, but it seems like it would be a horrifying discovery. :o

*Licks Kim with his glitter-covered tongue* There. Now you taste like glitter...

...?

> 25 - ewwwww.... I could just imagine that happening with my preschoolers.... probably why we aren't allowed to use glitter at my school....

Pffffft! Preschool without glitter? What nonsense! :P

i know right.... what in the world are we supposed to do?.... let them make art with their boogers?

"... and glitter. Sooo much glitter."

/Target commercial imitation

Glitter is better than boogers, for sure.

Now Hiring
The library is hiring for a part-time page position. The position requires the shelving of books, some circulation, and working nights and weekends. If you are interested please fill out an application at the Logan Branch.

Oh my goooooooooood!!!!!!!

I know what I'm doing tomorrow. :)

YAYYYY!!! Applyapplyapply--right now!

As for kids and art projects, I would guess about 10% of their creations have some sort of snot crusties in them. They just can't keep their fingers out of their noses. And they should probably ban glue as well for preschoolers. It's scientifically proven that stuff glues your intestines together. That and gum. Total truth, I swear. :P

I have the application scanned, but my printer sucks, so I'll probably pick up a nice-looking application tomorrow and submit it the next day. I might as well check into their Crichton selection while I'm in there. I'm currently in the middle of an ER book, but I'll probably come home with something anyway. :)

Good! Might as well pick up a couple applications, just in case of typos, whatever. Best of luck!! :)

So exciting :)

Wow, that's really exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

I just popped over here (when I should be grading Latin homework) to share this, because it made me think of you:

http://bookriot.com/2013/05/14/five-reasons-dudes-should-read-pride-and-prejudic...

Sara: Hmmmmm...good point. :)

Es: Agreed!

Amber: Haha, yeah, I'll get to it eventually! :P

Oooh.... paging was my first library job, and so much fun! I have this thought in the back of my mind that after I retire, I'll go back to library page as a part-time gig.

Good luck on your application!

Thanks Mary! I've been applying to this library continuously for a couple months now. I'm kind of disheartened that they didn't call me in the first place, but I'll submit another anyway...

Good luck Stephen! You would make a fabulous page.

Thanks, Kim! I picked up the application today (along with 3 books, oops...) and I'll be turning it in tomorrow. :)

Submitted the application today, for some reason every single parking space was taken up so I had to park around the block. I have no idea what that was about, I hope they weren't all interviewing for ~my~ job. :P

good luck.... here let me rub your thread.... *rubs thread vigorously*.....you can have some of mine!

I'm not sure what just happened, but I liked it! :P

Don't you know I'm lucky.... I just unloaded my luck all over you! :D

Glad you liked it!

Oh, hmmmm, I was distracted by all the vigorous rubbing.

so distracted that you missed my unloading of luck? should I clean it up?

Uhhhhhh, hmmmm, I don't seem to have any towels. Lets find someone to get naked and roll around in it. It'll be like those boxes with all the flying money you have to try to grab, only with luck instead of dollars, and nakedness....

Sending some library hiring mojo your way, Stephen. This sounds like the perfect job for you.

Thanks, Donna! *Smooch*

LOL... ew! I volunteer Micky to be the human towel, only because she's a bazillion miles away and can't hurt me. :P

Hurray! Thanks for volunteering Micky, Sara. ^_^

I'm playing my sister's copy of Rayman Origins and it's ridiculously adorable. Just saying.

Today is a sad, sad day. Kristen Jolley won't be on Jeopardy anymore! *Sighs unhappily*

18. The Black Country by Alex Grecian



Pages: 385
Rating: 3/5

Owned (Early Reviewers)
Fiction: Victorian Murder Mystery

Book 2 of the Murder Squad series finds Walter Day and Neville Hammersmith searching for a missing family in Blackhampton, a small town in an area so well known for its crime it has been nicknamed The Black Country. Blackhampton is a bleak place, a mining town with furnaces belching ash into the sky, with the town infrastructure sinking into the ground as a result of collapsing mining tunnels. This was probably my favorite aspect of the novel, the atmosphere. It's a lot like the grimy moors of The Hound of the Baskervilles, only not nearly as well done or as long-lasting.

The story itself is typical murder mystery fare, and Alex Grecian seems to be competent enough as a writer of the genre. I thought every new character introduced to the story was the prime suspect for sure, and he made me doubt even the most damning of evidence. I'm not a huge fan of mysteries, but I know I'm reading a good one when my mind is still racing well into the novel.

My major complaint is the conclusion, which is just far too convenient for my liking. Everything comes together in such an unlikely way that the sheer implausibility kind of marred the whole experience for me. A common problem with mysteries, for sure, and I'm sad to say it made the novel on the whole a little less satisfying in the end. The other 360 pages or so were very nice, though...

Thumbed your review at #56

If you'd like to read a good mystery revolving around British coal mines...check out Rose by Martin Cruz Smith

;-}

Thumbed as well.

Thanks for the thumb and recommendation, Jude, I'll try to keep that in mind. :)

*Licks Es in thanks*

*blush*

Hi Ape,

I'm a newcomer to your thread but I just wanted to say hi and let you know how much I like your reading last for the year so far! I'll be sure to check in again soon.

Cheers,
Charles

You're welcome,you....

and watch with the licking...i might get jealous...

>61 Emrayfo: is probably a reference from Richard...because he thinks you're Gay.....

Es: What!? You can't blush, this is my thread, only I'm allowed to blush! :P

Hello, Charles! It's been a pretty decent reading year, even if I've read so few books. I can't believe how slow I'm reading right now, I've read so many great books it's hard to complain. (Not that I still don't do it, of course.)

Don't worry, Jude, I can lick you too. *Licks* See? I can lick your Kitteh too, if you want. :P

Yeah, man-parts are icky, and I can't even like to use public restrooms. *Shudders*

If man-parts are icky, and you have man-parts then it follows that you don't lick, er like, your man parts.

I'm very fond of my man-parts, but I really only need one set of them in my life. Do you feel differently? :P

You fondle your man-parts?

Your 'so few' is my 'so many'! I've read about the same amount so far this year as you but that is easily equal to our better than my whole total of other years.

The reason I decided to post and say hi is you've read a few books this year that are either waiting on my shelves or that I have been wanting to get copies of. I haven't read GGS (though I did enjoy many years ago The Third Chimpanzee), but based on your telling I have to completely agree with you regarding what Jared Diamond said on Myxomatosis; that is a ridiculous and surprising conclusion to arrive at from someone who should know better. I would still be interested in reading it but I'll make sure to look out for any strange assertions - which honestly do appear in any majesterial fact-based work.

I also have Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go rotting on a shelf somewhere from neglect and inattention, but after reading your review I think I should make the attempt some time.

>63 jdthloue: Hi jdthloue. Um, Iol? I feel like I've stumbled into a private joke.

Morphy: Is it even remotely possible that I don't?

Charles: Ah, my memory is so bad I had to go back and re-read what was said about Myxomatosis. Yes, it was quite silly, but perhaps he should be forgiven...he's a historian after all (I think), not a biologist. :)

Never Let Me Go was, indeed, very good, and I was forced to read it, in fact. I tend to hate books I'm forced to read, so that should speak volumes for it, I would say.

I'm sure there is a joke about privates that should be said here, but I haven't the time to come up with one. Quick, Morphy, help me out!

You already did... Never Let Me Go.

*Boom-tish!*

#54: You're welcome! :) I'm sure Micky'll be thanking me, too. In her own way... (makes sure she has an escape route planned)

I had to google Rayman Origins, and by the screenshots on google, it is ridiculously adorable! You're still not getting me to play a video game, though. :P

#57 & 59: Small world: I have a copy of Rose if you want it, Stephen (free, of course). If not, no biggy. :)

Morphy: *Head smack* Of course.

Charles: *Shackes head dismally* I don't know why I didn't think of that.

Sara: I know what you are doing. You're trying to entice me into give you my address with free books. Ha! It hasn't worked in the past, and it won't work now! Though you can totally give it to me in person, when we meetup and I give you a big hug. Bwahaha. :P

Seriously, I wouldn't do that, because then I would have to put my return address on it, and you know how social I am. :P So there. It wasn't a ploy or anything. It was just an odd coincidence--we have a copy for sale at my work, and I just remembered it was mentioned on your thread. (shrugs)

I thought you were a foul temptress, and instead you were just a tease. Pfffffft!! :P

I'll still hug you anyway.

No, teasing would be like: "Hey, Stephen, guess what I found today? That book you might want to read. But guess what, I'm not gonna give it to you. So there!" :P That's teasing. But I'll be a tease if you want me to be. Sounds fun! >:) No huggies! Boy germs.

I don't have boy germs! I never come into contact with those filthy beasts. I'm pure! *Sweeps Sara into a sweet embrace* You know you like human contact, you can stop pretending to be anti-social with me! *Makes smoochie noises*

Boys do have germs, all the ones in my house have stinky boy-undies and make rude noises. Even the one who isnt yet 2!!!

Exactly, that's precisely why I never hang out with them, and why I am boy-germ free.

.....good point!
You've got all the answers :)

Lol! Well said, Ape!

Thank you, thank you. Why more people don't see the beauty of my logic is beyond me. Pfft. ;)

Nope, sorry, boys produce germs all on their own. They don't have to come in contact with other cootie-carriers to contaminate everyone. So again: no huggies (unless you're covered in fur, have a tail, and walk on all fours)! :P

I'm sure I can find a costume that will fill all those requirements, if you are into that kind of thing. :P

19. Notes for a War Story by Gianni Pascinotti



Pages: 123
Rating: 4/5

Owned
Graphic Novel

In a country torn apart by war, three young boys are left to fend for themselves. Cold, hungry, and homeless, they struggle to survive in a world that is crumbling all around them, their youth and inexperience preventing them from fully understanding what exactly is happening to their home. Like so many young boys with few options in life, they turn to crime, and their life improves dramatically...for a little while, anyway.

This is pretty much exactly why I think the graphic format is so viable as a means of expression. The author is able to evoke emotions and convey a strong message with simple drawings and plain-stated text. The boys really come to life during the short duration of this book, and I the book packs a pretty strong punch considering how small and how quickly you will finish reading it. This is my second novel by this author, the other being Garage Band, and think both are terrific.

going way back up to post #56 - great review of The Black Country. Typical mystery fare is just fine with me....

> making mental note of Rose by Martin Cruz Smith. Thanks, Jude!

I hope you have had a lovely weekend, Stephen!

Thanks, Lori. Funny you should post, I just signed on really quick to enter Sciencia into my library, as I'm reading it now, and I see you are the only one to have posted a review. I'm liking it so far, but it DOES seem a bit too shallow for its own good.

Sciencia is good as a basic primer of facts, and you are correct, it is shallow. It skims the surface of an awful lot of science, and is probably best useful as a quick reference guide to wet a non-science reader's interest to delve further, which is still a good thing, but frustrating for anyone that wants to know more of the nitty gritty details NOW and not three books later. ;-)

Thanks for that good review of The Black Country, Stephen. I liked The Yard a lot, so this second one is in my future. The Yard wrapped up awfully neatly, too, but as you say, that's pretty common in mysteries.

Notes for a War Story sounds intriguing, too.

Lori: Yeah, that's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. I'm looking forward to the biology section though. :)

Joe: Yeah, if you liked the first you should definitely look into the 2nd. They are both quite good, although for different reasons. Whereas The Yard seemed to focus more on Victorian forensic technology, The Black Country is more about the atmosphere.

*waves vigorously*.... oh man that hurt my arm....

Awww, sorry. *Licks Jennifer's arm*

#84: I'm sure you could. :P In fact, I remember reading in one of my gender-bendger manga series (Pretty Face, I think), where the he-she wore an animal suit so his equipment could fit in the tail. Yeah, don't ask. It was a weird, uncomfortable costume.

Your touchstone links to a YA novel about body image, haha! :P

>92 Ape: That's not her arm.

Strange, it tastes like an arm...

It's a Space Arm!

Nooooooo! :o

I just got off the phone with the library. It was a horrible experience, naturally, but on the bright side, they haven't started giving interviews, so at least I know no one has claimed MY job yet.

That's good news. I'm glad to hear it.

The Black Country is more about the atmosphere

I'm resisting bad jokes about Victorian London's atmosphere, but in fact that's the part I liked best about The Yard, so I'm looking forward to reading this second one.

They should just give you the job, seems to me, and not waste time on others.

#94: Oh hush, you. I was in a hurry. This is the series I meant. And I'm surprised you viewed it without freaking out (presumably naked human chick). :P

#99: It might take them a long time to prepare for interviews, who knows.

Es: Me too! Even if it causes ME considerably more stress to obtain it. :P

Joe: Agreed! I was planning on saying that, actually, "You should just hire me now and get it over with, haha" but of course in the flustered state I find myself in when interacing with humans I was lucky to utter out the bare essentials.

Sara: Was there a presumably naked chick on that cover? Hmmm, I wasn't paying attention. :(

Well, naked feet.

Ah, so we assume that because the feet are naked, she is naked too. Perhaps a persons very being can be derived from their very feet? I think that's plausible, though I wonder what that says about you and the picture you have on your profile. :P

I don't know too many people who weigh themselves sockless and wear clothes from the knees up. Just saying, Mr. Smartypants. :P

And since we're talking feet, I found a couple cool sites on foot reading (and, no, I wasn't googling foot fetish porn this time): here and here and here. Oh, oops, how did that get there? Just. Creepy.

Haha, that last one is very strange. 0.0

What else do you expect from me? :P Actually, I was trying to find some toe-sucking pics, but *sigh* I was at work, and you know they have This Thing about adult content (even though we have sex books that are pretty graphic).

Haha, yeah, I had the unfortunate experience of finding a book like that lying flat on the shelf in the wrong section. I guess pornography is okay so long as you are giving instructions.

Well, it's not just our sex ed books that're graphic. There are photography books in the 700's that're basically an excuse to put naked people in them. Like I really need to see an up-close picture of a woman's vulva, thanks. But it's art, mind you! :P Or so they say. (Btw, our infamous lesbian book that we've managed to hold onto for years and years and years has somehow gone missing. :( Sad day.)

Just ducking my head in quickly before getting back to, uh, teaching. You called the library? That's awesome, Stephen! Woot! Still crossing fingers that you get the job!

Sara: Yes! I've see those art books too. They take me by surprise, because I'm in the ART section, so I really don't expect pornography. I pulled out a book recently in the photography section that said it was about 'strength and perseverance,' it was by women with breast cancer and they were all topless in every picture. Argh! I'm so glad I was alone in the aisle when I pulled it out, how embarrassing. *Blushes*

Hi Amber! *Hugs* Thanks! Yeah, still waiting for that call. I'm not sure how often I should be calling them...once a week is my plan, but I'm not sure if that is too much...

>112 Ape:: I'll bet you're glad you were alone.

Es: Haha, that's NOT the reason I was embarrassed! :P

Oh, ok. I believe you.

ETA: Out of curiosity... why were you? Embarrassed, I mean.

Do you really need to ask that? I'm incredibly shy, around this topic. Plus, men aren't allowed to look at books with naked women in them in public. It's against the rules, and all the women in the area will snort and roll their eyes. I think, being a man-person, I might be banned from the "sex" section in the 600's as well, but that's too bad because there are lots of great disease books in the 600's, so pffffffft!

20. Sciencia by Burkard Polster



Pages: 383
Rating: 3/5

Nonfiction: Science
Library checkout

Sciencia is a collection of smaller science books on a variety of topics including math, physics, chemistry, evolution, anatomy, and astronomy, each of which are composed of 1-page overviews of various concepts related to that particular field. It's not exactly designed to give the reader much depth, but as a sort of catch-all collection of just about everything, it works well enough. Each "page" is dedicated to something like, say; natural selection, parabolas, The Red Queen, quantum mechanics, or the circulatory system. Each page is accompanied with a full page of charts, diagrams, or other helpful pictures that demonstrate whatever is being discussed on the opposite page.

The books are written by different authors, so there are varying degrees of awesomeness and suckitude. I found the physics books to be nigh unreadable, as it is basically a giant collection of math formulae with very little alliteration whatsoever. It would make for a great reference book, but it's not particularly fun to read. The evolution and anatomy books were fantastic though!

If this sounds like too much science for you, no fear! The final chapter is sprinkled with a humbling dose of mythology, where those of a more gullible nature can read modern fairy tales about things like the Big Bang, time travel, and spaghettification. Everything in moderation, I guess!

Although the introduction states that the book is great for introducing readers to a variety of new topics, I have to say I completely disagree. Those who are not familiar with the topics being discussed may find themselves a little bored, or wishing for more information, so I think it is those who are reading it to refresh what they have learned in the past will probably get the most out of it. While the book is readable, and I enjoyed reading it, you could also look at it as a miniature scientific encyclopedia where the 190-or-so articles get a full-page entry.

there are varying degrees of awesomeness and suckitude.

Love that phrase from your review of Sciencia. I think you nailed the book perfectly with your review Stephen, and I have to say, all that math in the physics section went over my head too. Good thing math like that is not something I need to be able to do my job or I would be in serious trouble! ;-)

I hope you have a fantabulous weekend!

>116 Ape:: Interesting.

Also... review thumbed :) Not planning on reading the book, though!

Lori: Thanks! Yeah, the math was horrible. I'm actually very fascinated by Pi, but the entry for that sucked too! The whole math section was just blech! Richard Preston wrote a pretty cool article about Pi though, I think I read it in Panic in Level 4. :)

Esquiress: Why thank you. *Smooches*

Happy Friday Night!

I'm sorry to be out of touch. I think life will slow a bit now that spring/summer is here.

I hope all is well with you.

*return smooches* You're welcome.

Hi there, Linda! You don't have to be sorry, though I'm tremendously happy to see you posting about. *Hugs*

Es: *Blushes*

Boo!

Eeep!

I always love your Book Reviews.....

;-}

Thanks Jude! I always like your compliments. *Smooch* :)

>63 jdthloue: That's a lie. As you well know.

Have you read The Joy of Pi? It's the only book I've read on the subject, and it's short, but I found it interesting, anyway... Hope you're having a good Memorial Day weekend!

*a rogue Micky appears*

It only took me 25 minutes to catch up on all I'd missed! Go me!

Now let me distribute glares for suggesting I act as a naked human towel.

And a quick hug before I dash off again!

*dashes*

Just limping through to say hello.. no way to catch up with your rapidly flowing threads.. so.. HELLO!

*waves* after a long weekend away from LT.

Richard: You mean you lumped me in with average obnoxious straight guys? I'm disappointed!

Mary: I happen to own a copy, in fact! But no, I haven't read it, though I plan to...eventually...I mean, I OWN it, so obviously I will read it...sometime...

Micky: YAY! You posted! *Hugs*

Kath: Hello! :)

Es: *Waves* Nice to have you back. *Smooches*

But Stephen...you *are* an average obnoxious straight guy. Why fight your destiny?

*Weeps*

...and i did wrong in posting #63???

You two can have your spot on your threads or on your profiles, but I'd like to quash this argument before it gets out of control on my thread, if you don't mind. *Hands Richard and Jude knives and sends them next door* :)

Wait, you're encouraging knife fights now? What has happened to you?

Fun! Are we placing bets?

Micky: Obviously I haven't had my sweet Canadian friend to keep me in line. *Puppy dog eyes*

Sara: Yes! Maybe... Depends on if Micky lets us...

I'm back indeed. It was quite a Memorial Day weekend. *smooches back*

>141 Ape: If you think those puppy dog eyes will work on me, you're sadly mistaken. Virtual puppy dog eyes have no impact whatsoever. And no you cannot place bets! Give Richard and Jude some cookies and distract them from this foolish knife fighting business.

Es: Yay! :D

Micky: Okay. *Hands Jude and Richard hard crunchy cookies that are 2 weeks hold and hard as rocks, that just so happen to have fine, sharpened points* ...

Not me....I'm packing my kit and leaving this sandbox.... ;-}

Noooooo! *Latches on to Jude* You can't leave!!! But if you insist on leaving the sandbox, can you at least be polite and not poop in it on the way out, thank you very much. :P

I never pooped, or peed, in a sandbox....That would have been rude, and stinky!

You're a classy lady, Jude. ;)

Loved your six-word memoir :)

Hehe, thanks. :P

>144 Ape: You're trouble. :P

>151 MickyFine:: I agree wholeheartedly.

What? Me? Nonsense!

*gives a no-nonsense look to Stephen*

*gives a non-ladylike snort of derision*

*Distracts ladies with statistics*

May Summary:

Books: 4
Pages: 1,326

Fiction: 3
Nonfiction: 1

Owned: 3
Library: 1

Really good mix of genres for you this month. :)

Why thank you. *Hugs*

Does it sometimes feel like I'm looking for excuses to hug you? How totally absurd! You poor thing. *Hugs*

I sense some kind of conspiracy... *hugs absentmindedly*

I think Stephen's ovulating.

Morning Stephen! (or whatever it is there, it certainly isnt morning here, so you could say Im just guessing)

Micky: Absentmindedly!? You're just going through the motions with me, aren't you? You don't REALLY love me. I'm just a piece of meat to you! A warm, huggable piece of meat! *Pouts*

Sara: I don't know, how do I check? :P

Megan: Well, it was 4am when you posted that, so I guess technically it was morning at the time! :)

*gets distracted by statistics*

ooooh...numbers...

*Steals something from Morphy while she's distracted and plants it on Micky*

:P

The job listing for the page position at my local library is no longer listed on their website... =/

>161 saraslibrary: *snort*

>163 Ape: I'm trying to decide if I'm feeling over-hugged. Thus the absentmindedness. :P You're a human being not a piece of meat.

>165 Ape: *gives the something back to Morphy* Stephen, that trick only works if both of us are distracted. :P

>167 Ape: That doesn't mean they've hired yet. It most likely just means that they've stopped taking applications and are now reviewing them prior to scheduling interviews.

I hope so. I'll be calling tomorrow and expecting the worst, though...

Depending on when they took the job ad down, I'd give them a couple days. Don't want to appear too desperate.

*pokes head into thread, waves*

#163: Check your body temp, rectally, of course. :P

Stopping by to see how things are in Stephenland..... happy to see that all appears normal. ;-)

> 170 - I second Micky's suggestion. Some places don't even start looking at the applications received until after they pull the position down from the website.

Micky: But I am desperate! ...

*Waves at Es*

Sara: Remind me not to let you near my thermometers when you are ovulating.

Lori: Hmmmmm, I'm torn. Maybe I'll give them Monday to call me and I'll call Tuesday? It would kill me to miss the opportunity to work there as I sit around inactively....

How about you call to confirm that they have received your application and to ask them if they are able to provide you with a time frame for when they may be getting back to applicants? That is a valid question any business should expect from an applicant.

#174: Oh, pshaw. I'd spit-wipe the thermometer on something when I'm done. What kind of pig do you take me for? :P

I agree on waiting a bit before calling. Where I work, they do pretty much the same thing. Current job openings disappear from our website so the people in charge can go over applications, etc. It's a very lengthy process for them, or so they say. Me, I'm a Magic 8 Ball sort of gal. Too bad they couldn't do the same. ;)

I think I'm going to jump in and second lkernagh's suggestion, if you're feeling that antsy. But waiting until Tuesday may be less desperate-sounding, even though we all know you really, really want that job.

>174 Ape: I get being desperate. But you don't want them to think you are. It makes you less appealing as an applicant. If you can be patient enough, I'd say give it until Wednesday before calling to ask the question Lori suggested in 175. :)

Just visiting while at the library... my session will end in two minutes.... wish i had time to catch up! *big hugs* and *a wave*

Thanks for allthe advice, everyone.

*Hugs Jennifer*

I have a book review, coming soon...

21. Congo by Michael Crichton



Pages: 316
Rating: 3/5

Fiction
Owned

The plot in this book couldn't be more derivitave. At it's core, it's a trek through a jungle in Africa in search for treasure and a mystical lost city. Yes, it's THAT story. Crichton modernizes it with some techno babble about how the party is in search of diamonds that will be used to make super computers, essentially, but that is made useless by how dated it is, unless the idea of 256k ram still blows your mind somehow.

Unfortunately, he doesn't really capture the romance of the genre like authors in the adventure genre of the past either. I'm sure there are plenty of other, better-written stories about treks through jungles in search for treasure and mystical lost cities. I also found the bahavior of the characters to be rather inconsistent, such as Amy, an ape that knows American sign language. Numerous times Crichton ruminates on how sensitive and delicate she is, and her caretaker is very protective of her health...that is to say, when he isn't supplying her with cigarettes and alcohol.

This is the third novel I've read by the author and I must say, so far is is consistently bad at ending his books. Once again the book closes in a rush and hurried fashion that is both unsatisfying and too convenient to be believable. I still have a couple of his books in my collection that I plan on reading, but now that I am starting to recognize this I suspect I'll be on the lookout in the future.

I still enjoyed the act of reading the book, it was a fun fluffy adventure story, but I can also see why is isn't terribly popular.

Is that the one with the evil gorillas?

They aren't evil, they're misunderstood!

...but, yes. :P

*thumbs*

Suuure. Kind of like black cats.

(runs out of Stephen's thread) They're still evil!

I have fond memories of the movie, Congo (although I've not read the book) - my brother and I used to take each other out to the movies on our birthdays every year since I was about 6, I think, and this was one that he picked for one of his birthdays. I remember us both snorking and giggling through the whole thing.

Ha, ha.... Here I was thinking I didn't know that Crichton book, but the mention of the evil misunderstood gorillas brought it - or I should say, the movie - all back to me! ;-)

#186: I don't remember much about it, other than the evil misunderstood gorillas. I think I liked the Jurassic Park movies a whole lot better. Nothing misunderstood there. ;) Just evil.

#187: I know, a lot of his books have been turned into movies. And, sadly, Stephen refuses to watch movies. :*(

Yeah I really liked the movie Congo back in the day (I don't think they had Amy drinking and smoking, but maybe that's my memory playing tricks). The evil apes were rad, so were the laser trip-wire perimeter fences for their camp, or at least my young mind thought so! But no, I've never read any Chrichton, but keep thinking I should, just because I like adventure stories.

Es: Thanks! *Thumbs back* :P

Sara: My mom has, I think, like, 3+ black cats. Yes, they are ALL evil. Except one. So that makes them 2/3rds evil, or...66.6 evil! AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!

Amber/Lori: It's funny, the LT description of the book (at least, the description for my edition) basically tells you nothing about the book and just slams the movie for a full paragraph. Haha. Apparently it was terrible? It's a hoaky book to begin with, so I can imagine.

Sara: The dinosaurs were misunderstood too!

Charles: Ha! Well, if you do go for Crichton, I'd go for the Jurassic Park books over Congo. I still have Next and Pirate Latitudes on my shelves, so I'll be reading those sometime soon as well.

>190 Ape:: If by 'terrible' you mean 'awesomely bad,' then, yes. So much fun to watch the badness!

Ah, right, it slipped my mind that you LIKE bad movies. Well then, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :P

Yeah, I was thinking Jurassic Park. Especially after your review of Congo!

Hey! My cat is black and is absolutely wonderful! So no generalizations, mister. *glares over glasses*

Timeline isn't a bad Chricton read. Not an amazing time travel novel, but not terrible.

#190: Cats are evil, in general (yes, this coming from a cat lady), so even your mother's sweetest one is still 99% evil. But I like 66.6% evil better. ;)

And, yes, the dinosaurs were definitely misunderstood. Nothing evil about them whatsoever. o.0

Aww, but I found this cute little dinosaur vs. kitten pic. Which is more evil? I'm going with the dino.

#194: *ahem* Basement kitteh. *ahem*

*peeks in*
*waves*
"HELLO!"
*scurries away*

Charles: That would be the way to go. :)

Micky: Hey, it was Sara that mad the generalization, I stated that black cats are 1/3rd non-evil. I'm sure your cat falls into that category. Most likely...

My library has a copy of Timeline, so I may get to it eventually. Most likely...

Sara: Yeah, see, now, that dinosaur is pretty innocent. It's just trying to say hello to the kitty, or perhaps make sweet dinosaur-on-kitten love, but it certainly isn't evil. The kitten, on the other hand, is obviously attempting to disembowel the poor misunderstood dinosaur.

Hey, I have three black cats, and not a single one is evil. *pout*

Hi Katie! *Waves*

Es: Obviously they wouldn't let the person that feeds them know they are evil. That would fall under the category of 'being honest.'

>199 Ape:: le sigh - you're incorrigible.

Stephen's right. You're in denial. Your cats are evil and worship the devil. :P

Hey, I had a loveable black cat and he was the sweetest thing. He loved to cuddle and would lay across my book as I was reading it and playfully bat my knitting needles/ pens/ pencils when he wasn't tormenting my sister's dog, stalking the neighbor's dog, hunting birds.... oh, wait a minute.... you said they wouldn't let the person that feeds them know that they are evil.... hummm. I need to go away and rethink this.

Es: Y'know, I get that a lot. . . .

Sara: You're agreeing with me!? I'm bookmarking that post. :P

Lori: Yes, this is typical cat behavior, the food source never sees their true diabolical nature.

I just got off the phone with the library. The page position was already taken, so I've been waiting all this time for nothing.

:(

Oh, dang. I'm so sorry, Stephen. I know how disappointing that feels.

*big virtual hug*

What sucks is I was willing to do the job for free. I offered to volunteer, but instead they chose to PAY someone else to do the job I was willing to do without pay. When I called about volunteering, he told me that he would call me if anything changed. Well, he didn't call me when the job opened up, he didn't call me when I applied, and he hire someone else without even giving me an interview. It just makes me feel like shit. I don't even feel like going to the library sale on Friday, now. I don't feel like doing much of anything. -.-

Stephen, I'm so sorry...

#202: It liked to cuddle? My guess: you didn't actually have a cat. Maybe a really friendly squirrel? Or rat?

#203: Bookmark away. That'll probably be the only time I agree with you. :P

#204: I'm sorry to hear that, Stephen. :(

That doesnt seem fair. Im sorry for you Stephen.

Stephen, can I uncross my fingers now? I am sorry you didn't get that job. And I think it's highly unprofessional that they didn't notify applicants that the position had been filled. Hugs AND smooches to you...

Wow, and I join every else is saying how sorry I am that you didn't get the job, Stephen. If the position was filled before they took the job posting down, I think they should have contacted the applicants, unless they have some upfront disclaimer on their website as policy stating that they don't.

That's really shitty, man. I'm sorry to hear it.

That's poopy!.... sorry you didn't get the job... they stink...

*Big hugs*

Hey everyone! Sorry I've been away, I needed some moping time but I guess I'm done. I'm still incredibly down on myself, but I feel like I can post here without being a brooding jerkface again. So, here I am.

Despite my disappointment, I did go to the library sale yesterday...

...and bought 47 books.

Yes. 47.

The selection was poor this time around, many of the book shelves were packed with 'family drama/love-inspired romance' stuff. There was also a huge selection of paperback leisure horror, so that was a bit closer to my interest, but still off a bit. So how did I manage to bring home 47 books, you ask? Well, ummm, hmmm, I'm not really sure! I guess when you are buying books by the bagful, it's easy to just stuff anything into them until they are near-exploding.

I'll post a list later. I'm having a computer problems and I had to do a massive reset. Many of my programs need re-installed and since all my internet files were dumped I'm having to reload EVERYTHING at an excruciatingly slow pace. It couldn't have happened at a worse time, now it's going to take even longer to log all these books. I'm sure I'll still have fun doing it though. :D

I even took a picture of the book mountain, which I'll post if I can manage to upload it at the snail's pace I'm setting.

Moping is totally allowable and expected so very happy to see you back posting, and with 47 new acquisitions no less! That is happy weekend news to me!

The books!! Note that this list isn't organized much at all. You may see clusters of fantasy/sci-fi/horror, but don't think that means everything is where it should be. :P

The Kite Runner by Khalen Hosseini
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
Turn Coat by Jim Butcher
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson
Stage Fright by Michael Paine
Harm by Brian Aldiss
Lost City Radio by Daniel Alarcon
Slaves of the Shinar by Justin Allen
Elven Star by Margaret Weis
Fire Sea by Margaret Weis
Into the Labyrinth by Margaret Weis
The Seventh Gate by Margaret Weis
Dinosaur Summer by Greg Bear
The Priestess of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Lady of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Gravelight by Marion Zimmer Bradley
In the Rift by Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Court of the Lion by Eleanor Cooney
The Time Patrol by Poul Anderson
I'm Not Scared by Niccolo Ammaniti
The Restless Dead by Hugh B. Cave
Thunder Road by Christ Curry
The Dream Thief by Shana Abe
The Diary of Lady Murasaki by Murasaki Sikibu
The Real Story of Ah-Q and Other Tales of China: The Complete Fiction of Lu Xun
The Hidden by Sarah Pinborough
Buffalo Medicine by April Christopherson
Havoc: After Dark by Robert Flemming
Blood Crazy by Simon Clark
Stranger by Simon Clark
Death's Dominion by Simon Clark
In This Skin by Simon Clark
After Human by Michael Cross
The Winter Road by Terry Hokenson
Demon's Bluff by Jerry Jenkins
Vogelein: Old Ghosts by Jane Irwin
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane (Graphic adaptation!)
The Ascending by T. M. Wright
Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson
Heartland by Davis Bunn
The Man in the Iron Mask by Alexandre Dumas
Thank you for Smoking by Christopher Buckley
Marie Antoinette by Antonia Fraser
Up From Dragons by John Skoyles

And here is what those books look like. The stack is so big 2 books got cut off! Some alterations are in order, the 'genre' stickers on the spines must be removed, and the hardcovers will have their filthy, battered plastic wraps removed to reveal pristine, perfect-condition books beneath. I love that about ex-library books. :)

Woohooo books!

WOW! What a great haul of books you have there!

Antonia Fraser is a very credible writer of Tudor history.

Have fun with all these books! They are lovely.

And, I am so sorry you did not get the library job. Please don't be hard on yourself. You are a fine, wonderful person.

Great haul, cupcake :) Glad you're back to posting. I was getting a little nervous there.

#215: Glad you could go to the library sale! :) And 47? Dude, you're getting as bad as I am. ;) I could've given you my copy of The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I tried reading it back in 2008, but I didn't like it. Too boring. I have The Girl with Dragon Tattoo as well, but you know me: I'll probably end up watching the movie first (already started it awhile back, but never finished watching it). Stage Fright looks good; same with The Restless Dead (though the 2.13 stars might prove me wrong) and Thunder Road and The Hidden and . . . well, pretty much all of your Leisure Horror books, as well as your graphic novels (The Red Badge of Courage was made into a graphic novel? Cool! I've got to look for it). But I am just shocked you bought The Dream Thief, though. Paranormal romance? o.0 Feeling ok, Stephy pie? j/k Anyway, happy reading and cataloging! :)

Lori: Well, it's nice to have permission. :)

Nora: Agreed!

Thanks, Linda. It's hard not to be hard on myself. I'm very good at it. Thanks for the kind comment, though.

Es: It's okay, I guess it's just my reclusive nature, which usually doesn't carry over here, but I guess it does occassionally.

Sara: The Memory Keeper's Daughter looks like something I would like. The Restless Dead was something I picked up simply because it sounded zombie-like, but yeah, the 2.13 rating doesn't sound promising. Thunder Road has a cool cover, in my opinion, which is why I picked it up...but I'll have to hunt down my own image when I enter it into my library, as there isn't a good on on LT.

And yes, I thought The Dream Thief was a fantasy novel, but I got home and was doing LT searches of all the books I got, and was very disappointed when I got to that one and saw it was a paranormal romance. I'll probably re-donate it, or save it until I can afford to visit a nearby bookshop that offers trade-ins. The book will be in perfect condition once I cut the plastic off, so, hurray! The same is true for Gut Symmetries. Love triangle ickiness, I am so not reading it. *Shudders*

I'm actually looking forward to the Simon Clark books. Despite the silly name, I've had Blood Crazy on my radar for awhile, so it was cool to see it in there.

That is an insanely impressive book haul, friend. The only one I've read is The Kite Runner. I'll be interested to see your reaction to that one.

Thanks Micky! Yeah, I definitely plan to read The Kite Runner...ummmmm...eventually. I believe my physically owned TBR pile is enough to last me 2-3 years...and that's if I stop visiting libraries and buying more books....so....yeah....

Sounds familiar. My own eventually list (owned and not) is massive. The Kite Runner was on The List about halfway through high school and I just read it this year. :)

The Kite Runner is a really good book, though. I thought it was beautiful.

You should definitely read it soon.

I'm not even going to *think* about my TBR pile of books I own, not to mention the fact that I requested practically all of this month's books from the library...

Micky: Yeah, I think my owned/unread book list will be 150+ books after I finish entering this last book haul, and considering there are multiple book sales per year and $1 hardcovers at Dollar Tree...well...it's sort of a problem. It's a wonderful problem, though! :)

Es: Haha, yeah, in addition to the 150+ books I own I have a wishlist on "the big library's" website that consists of 100+ books and the books I want to read from my local library is pretty much endless...since pretty much every book in the library is on that list. :P

I have 5 books checked out at the moment... I'm going to flip through the book edition of Liesl & Po before returning it for the audio version :)

I keep wanting to save things to start on Tuesday so they count for the adult reading program, but I think I'm going to wind up not being able to finish everything then! Dilemmas, I tell you.

You only own 150 books? Good work :) I wish I could stop acquiring books, but luckily, PBS is helping me get rid of some things. I glean my shelves every month or two to see if there's more to dispose of through PBS :)

I have read and enjoyed several of those books.. well done!

Nice book haul, Stephen! I've only read The Kite Runner myself. And I hear you about unread books - I have about a year's worth myself (a little more, counting the really big books and those loaded on my Sony e-reader) and yet it does not stop me from going to the library or buying more...

#223: I thought the same thing about The Memory Keeper's Daughter--the story sounded interesting and sad. I hope you like it! :)

Jeez, you and zombies. ;) And Simon Clark's been on my radar for quite awhile. I only have one book by him so far, but I'm always looking for more by him. Hopefully you'll get to one of his this year. I'm eager to see what you think of him.

I wouldn't give up completely on The Dream Thief. It's good to try genres you don't normally read, find new authors, that sort of thing (speaking from experience).

Really, you're not going to read Gut Symmetries? But lesbians, Stephen! What if they were zombie lesbians? Would that make them more appealing? :P

#228: I agree--that's a wonder problem to have! :) I justify my book-buying my telling myself that there'll be a day when I'll get fired, laid off, etc, and I won't have the money to buy stuff I want, so might as well do it now. Sounds logical, right? ;)

#229: Good job on being able to clear out some of your books. I haven't gotten that far. My preciousssessss. ;)

Es: No no, I have 150 unread. I own, in total, over 250, and much of that was acquired without a job...

Thanks Kath! :)

Mary: Yeah, I didn't adjust my book total, if you take into account some of the chunkier books, including the recently purchased The Court of the Lion, which I believe is pushing 1,000 pages.

Sara: I'll probably reading Blood Crazy soonish, so I'll let you know how Simon Clark is. I've read dragon porn before, in the form of The Dragon Delasangre, so The Dream Thief won't be new at all! Oh, and don't get me wrong, a lesbian "love triangle" sounds very appealing, but not the kind that involves infidelity. :P

Dragon porn? Sounds painful, and not in a good way. You could always pretend like the infidelity isn't happening; be in denial or something. Either way, good luck with your "soonish" attempt at Simon Clark. ;)

Did someone say Dragon Porn? You know, Christopher Moore has a book about that...

Sara: Yeah, I'm assuming the tags Dragons + Shapeshifters + Paranormal Romance = dragon porn, like in The Dragon Delasangre. Mid-flight mating just sounds dangerous to me, though.

Amber: Haha! Is it one I haven't read? I don't recall any dragon porn in his books, but my memory sucks, so I'm probably just forgetting.

ETA: Oh! Is it the sequel to Practical Demonkeeping? The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove? That would make sense. :P

I think I want to steal that title for my nonexistent memoirs.

What an excellent memoir title.

Yep.

Hey! That can be my 6 word memoir! ;)

I thought you lived in a valley...

*Shakes head* Silly Micky, Melancholoy Cove isn't a physical place, it's a state of mind.

But you didn't come up with it, otherwise it *could* be your memoir.

You'll have to change it a bit before I'll let you slide with it :)

And are you the lizard?

>241 Ape: Right... *backs away slowly*

Es: So you say memoir is something I'm supposed to come up with? Huh, weird... :P As for your question, I would say I'm more toad-like, but yes.

Micky: Ah yes, it's common for women to react to me in that way...

#242: I think it's a part of his anatomy that's the lizard. It's a guy thing. (eye roll)

If we are talking anatomy, that brings a whole new meaning to 'malancholy cove.'

Also, I (a guy) wasn't thinking that but you (a lady) brought it up, so that sentence is a bit of a paradox. :P

Oh, phbbt. Who ever said I was a lady? And actually, I didn't even think of melancholy cove = vagina. Good one, your royal pervness! :P

But my perviness was as a direct result of your perviness, which was entirely your own doing. At the very least, you are pervier! ;)

I will gladly take that title (and have my way with it)! >:)

*sigh*

So your memoir would be:

"Lust toad of the melancholy valley."?

>250 Esquiress: I misread "memoir" as "member" there.

This thread is somethin' else :)

Even as an avid Christopher Moore fan, I have to say that I enjoyed this little exchange more than I did the book that it was inspired by. The Lust Toad of Melancholy Valley is pretty epically awesome and I think I might have to start a softcore porn company to make sure it becomes a thing.

Sara: Ha! I think we have officially established that you are extremely pervy, Micky is extremely innocent, and I'm the best of both worlds. :P

Es: Almost. I think we have to make it sound like a really bad work of erotica, one that probably doesn't even have any sex in it. How about "The Lusty Toad from Melancholy Valley."

Zoe: So do you think we should write a seperate memoir specifically for my member? I'm thinking they would be pretty much the same. Perhaps "The lust troll of melancholy forest" if I stop shaving.

Leah: Fine, you can start a softcore porn company based on my life, although I must say it would make for a lot of very boring porn.

>244 Ape: *looks at all the ladies hanging out on Stephen's thread* Hmm, that does not appear to be true.

>254 Ape: HA!!! He put it in print. Stephen has admitted I'm the innocent one! :P Also, when you refer to yourself as the best of both worlds, I immediately think about an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. *nerd*

LT ladies are different, they are fascinated by an oddball like myself and are studying me for scientific purposes. Or something. *Nods*

You aren't innocent, generally speaking, you are just the innocent one among the three of us. :P

ditto what Leah said! I love your sense of humor, your intelligence and the fact that you are a sensitive soul who shares and cares!

Pops in to wave. Back to the black hole that is my tbr.

Awww, thanks for the sweet message, Linda! *Hugs*

I know you are only saying that to gauge my reaction, for scientific purposes, though. ;)

Hi there, Bryony! :)

New thread is up! :)