In 2018 Emilia McKenzie lost her best friend Charlotte to suicide. With But You Have Friends McKenzie shares the story of their friendship, from when they met as teenagers through to adulthood. They clicked from the beginning and quickly became inseparable—but it's rare that life circumstances don't separate even the best of friends, and as adults McKenzie and C (as McKenzie refers to Charlotte throughout this sequential-art tribute) took different paths. McKenzie hit all the milestones one expects a successful adult to hit. This wasn't the case for C, however. As if a switch had been flipped, she went from a teenager who seemed fine and on track to do well to a twentysomething suddenly struggling with severe mental illness.

This is a no-frills work of sequential art. McKenzie's illustrations lack color and aren't especially remarkable, in keeping with the somber theme. Rather than an involved story, But You Have Friends is a chronologically ordered series of vignettes highlighting the more important moments in their lives. Unfortunately, the story has limits and can only go so far in shedding light on where things went wrong for C. It's told from the point of view of McKenzie, a readily obvious limitation, but another limitation concerns McKenzie's knowledge of her friend's struggles. C never went deep when discussing her problems, in part because they were a mystery even to her, so portrayal of her hardships also doesn't go deep. McKenzie said she created this book for herself, to record her memories of her friend and of their special bond, and this is exactly what the book is—a record that acts as a coming-to-terms with her shock and grief.

What the book does best is convey what it's like to watch a friend unravel while feeling powerless to stop the unraveling. Her friend called and cried to her a lot, but all McKenzie could do was offer some words of comfort, which never felt adequate. Later, C was hospitalized multiple times in a psychiatric ward far from McKenzie's home, so visiting her was difficult to fit into her busy schedule. After C's death, McKenzie brooded, unable to let go of guilt over not visiting her friend often and of not doing more to help her, even though C's illness was too severe for friends to make much of a difference.

I wondered about the emotional toll C's needs took on McKenzie. Friends can be a support, but they shouldn't become therapists. From the depiction, it looks like C expected a lot of McKenzie and her other friends, and they were left feeling anxious, helpless, and frightened for her after the many troubling interactions. Such a dynamic can slip into a codependency situation, which is never healthy. But even though McKenzie has the chance here to really share her feelings, she doesn't discuss feeling burdened by C. Maybe she truly didn't feel burdened, but the many pages showing a distressed C reaching out to her friends seem to indicate otherwise. McKenzie's later struggle with overwhelming guilt strengthens that impression.

But You Have Friends is yet another illustrated memoir with a dual mission: catharsis for author and aid to anyone in a similar situation. Those left behind after a loved one dies are dropped into a special kind of hell, only worsened if the death was sudden. This book shows that and the feelings of helplessness when one doesn't know how to, or can't, remedy a serious problem. It's a poignant read about a hard fact of life. ( )

Thank you Netgalley and publisher for letting me read this ARC in exchange for an unbiased review!

Imagine my ecstatic surprise when I realized this was a graphic novel! I totally skipped that in the description. Not only are graphic novels quicker, but they’re also just really creative/artistic. So I was very excited about this.

The beginning part of this book kinda felt like when someone’s showing you all the photos in their phone gallery and explaining them all. Sweet at first but eventually gets a bit repetitive. I guess what I mean is that, despite it providing context on how they met, much of the beginning of this book lacked detail that moved the story forward. And the writing itself didn’t make up for the lack of detail.

Part of what makes memoirs, especially surrounding memory and childhood, is the reflections we make that we would’ve never made back then. Our adult selves can find slivers of beauty and reflection that our childhood selves were not sophisticated or sentimental enough to. The book eventually certainly got there. And when it did, it was extremely heartfelt, relatable, tender, and even tense at times. The speaker/author was incredibly honest and spoke on things so many face alone out of shame. And that's very admirable. The first about half of the book though had moments that could’ve been expanded to point out some progression, reflection, or lesson. The trip they took together, for example, felt as if it was building to something only for us to move on very quickly. I just think the story of their friendship GROWING is just as important as how they lost each other.

While the illustration does portray the awkwardness of adolescence, there are maybe about three facial expressions: neutral, anger, worry. It just feels stiff and almost wholly reliant on the subtitles/text. I definitely think this art style could appeal to many! It's just not my favorite.

All of this to say though, this is really sweet and heartbreaking. It's an important story to tell. So many people go through these things and struggle is nothing to be ashamed of. And I think it's really important to preface that criticism to storytelling is not criticism of the story itself. This was a very beautiful exploration of someone's life and how the loss affected those who loved them. It needed to be written and I applaud the author for writing it. I wish I could give them the biggest hug. ( )

In a tribute to a friend who died by suicide, the author profiles their twenty-year friendship that started at the age of 13 and her ongoing grief.

Simple, straightforward, heartfelt. ( )