Will Christopher BaerReviews

I really don't know what to say about this Noir! The writing was fantastic and hallucinatory! In this novel no one is save: Phineas Poe is like a Jessica Fletcher.. There is always a corpse following their visiting.

The story itself was sometimes a bit motionless. I think, I will read the next book with Poe to sort my thoughts better.

Cool writing technique.

I don't really know what to think of this book. I'll try to form some sort of..review.

I really dreaded writing this because I wasn't really sure how to put my thoughts on this into a review. Whenever I feel negative or just..weird..about a book, the review seems a lot harder to do than when I love something. In this case, it's even harder because I can't really pinpoint exactly what this book did wrong. The structure was pretty similar to that of Kiss Me, Judas. From page one, to the end; almost every main character is on some sort of drug or mood-altering substance. I'm not sure why but after reading Penny Dreadful, it was hard to go back to what KMJ (Kiss Me, Judas - for those not following along) was like in terms of overall narrative. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I had any problems following along Baer's twisted neo-noir fantasy - I just didn't enjoy it as much this time around.

Poe's main antagonist this time, aside from Jude's twisted psyche, is John Ransom Miller, a wealthy lawyer. Miller agrees to provide Jude with Senator MacDonald Cody, one whom she completed a hand amputation on a few years back while living in Mexico. Cody spots Jude somewhere in California and immediately sets out to have her destroyed - it's basically a "you can't get me if I get you first" kind of thing. The only thing that Miller wants in return is her participation (and a few others) in the creation of a snuff film. A snuff film in which the victim’s identity will not be revealed until the murder occurs.

Miller is just too out there. His character is so all over the place that it made me crazy. While I understood Poe's reasons for cooperating, it gets to a certain point where it no longer made sense to me. It gets so complicated, so insanely twisted, that I was just annoyed. I can appreciate some of the moral dilemas..but these characters are all completely out of their minds. By who they are and how they came into this situation, none of them should even be aware of any moral obligation they hold to anyone.

The only character I really felt anything for other than Poe, was Molly. Molly was one of the actresses hired for the snuff film, which may or may not be Miller's present girlfriend. She really didn't have any interests in most of the insanity other than trying to create a memorable performance. The scenes in which she connects with Poe were well done and had me rooting for the two to get together - however, I think it's more so because Jude enraged me 99% of the time.

Baer really missed this one for me. It was necessary for him to continue the story for Jude, with her absence from the 2nd novel but he made me hate her so much that the ending just fell flat.

** On another note, for a book so over-the-top violent and sexually charged, I'm bothered by other trivial things. Kind of says something about what I'm used to reading.

KISS ME, JUDAS is a lightning-paced work of neo-noir. The novel follows Phineas Poe, a former cop (of sorts) who has his kidney stolen by a charismatic, dangerous woman following his release from a mental institution. Violence, sex, paranoia, hallucinations, and drugs hang from Phineas as he commences a twisted journey for his own sanity.

The plot is lean and sharp, reinforced by quick-witted characters. Sometimes their acerbic nature is a bit tiresome, given that every character with a speaking role is clever and bursting with pessimistic quips, but overall it makes for an entertaining novel. The book is delivered in short bursts by Baer, his prose only occasionally serving as a hindrance -- his descriptions are often weak and bland, and quickly fall into easily discerned pattern. His presentation of Poe's tortured mind, however, is excellent, both trippy and vivid.

KISS ME, JUDAS is a light, often visceral novel. It is quick and enjoyable.

This review is a work in progress as I get through the 3 novels in his book...

KISS ME, JUDAS
I couldn't put this down. I wanted answers so bad, but even now I feel that there is not a correct - or even logical - answer that could come from it. Phineas Poe is an ex-cop who suffered a nervous breakdown, and who woke up in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney. Said kidney was taken by a beautiful woman named Jude, and there is a mystery to what she wants from Phineas as well as what she really did with his kidney. These two win in the dysfunctional couple category, but their relationship seems to work. With the jumps from present time to Phineas's memories, it's hard to know what actually happened. It could have happened one way, or he could have completely dreamed it in his fragile mind - made even more sporadic by the drugs in his blood. It's totally weird, and I will continue onto the next book (maybe I'll get some answers there, LOL).

My only complaint with this book is that it doesn't have an ending. Disappointing, especially as this was the last in the trilogy.

Phineas Poe is an ex-cop, just released from a psychiatric ward after a six month stay for a nervous break down. His job is gone, his wife is dead, and Poe really doesn’t have much to live for. Enter, Jude. This beautiful woman in red sits down next to Poe and the two begin to converse. Poe is easily seduced by Jude – especially after she drugs his drink. Poe remembers nothing after taking her back to his hotel room. He wakes up smack dab in the middle of an urban legend. Shivering in a cold bathtub filled with melting ice and watered-down blood, Poe’s kidney is missing. Jude has made off with his organ, and neatly stapled him back together. She left him a note: “If you want to live, call 911”.

Furious with himself and with being betrayed by Jude, Poe skips medical treatment and heads out to find Jude to get his kidney back. It’s a matter of principle at this point. Being an ex-cop, Poe realizes his kidney may be heading toward the black market. He hits up his former informants for any information about Jude or his kidney, knowing that time is of the essence. With no serious leads, Poe is only getting angrier. Crumb, a ‘friend’ of Poe’s who performs cheap abortions and sutures gunshot wounds thanks to his medical texts and not a medical degree, assists Poe as much as he can. Unfortunately, the only real thing he can do for Poe is give him Morphine for the pain, and the only real thing he can tell Poe is that his kidney has been replaced (maybe) with a baggie of heroin. Oh, and if it leaks, he dies.

Poe exercises every contact and every method he can to track down Jude, continuously finding himself in near-miss crossings. Jude wants Poe to find her, and she can’t explain why. Poe wants to kill Jude, and he certainly can explain why. The two dance around each other in a series of short phone calls and messages until they finally end up on the same side of the playing field, running from the… who knows. Jude is quite cryptic as to what they are running from, but all Poe knows is everyone they meet somehow ends up brutally murdered.

Somewhere along the line, the anti-couple realizes they are falling in love, but whether or not they will live to explore these feelings is rather up in the air.

Favorite Passages/Quotes

"Sorrow is like the ocean and sometimes I wish my heart would stop."

"Every time I close my eyes I'm dreaming"

"He has the expression of someone who wishes the rain would stop."

"Sometimes there is nothing as horrible as a familiar face"

"And my life went to pieces, like a love letter in the rain."

Opinion

Baer’s first novel in a series of three was executed very well. Understanding that Poe is recovering from a nervous breakdown through out this book is key to following his logic and thoughts in the narration. There are beautifully tragic passages by Poe that really take the readers breath away. While this novel lagged in places and felt like it went in circles at times, it was still enough to keep reading. The cat and mouse game between Jude and Poe got somewhat annoying after awhile, but I guess one can say is was a plot necessity. Character wise, Baer has quite the colorful cast. He creates detailed imagery, making sure the reader knows exactly who each person is. The lovely detail and dark descriptions bring his characters to life… often times right before they die.

I enjoyed this book, but recall being slightly upset with it as well. I was turned on to Baer by fellow Palahniuk fans, and perhaps it was only because I was so used to the polished dark literature of Palahniuk that I held Baer to such a high standard. I will cut him some slack, realizing this is his first novel in the Phineas Poe series, and will certainly read the other two novels (Penny Dreadful, Hell’s Half Acre) with a more open mind.

Rating: On a scale of 1-5 stars, this book is a 4. Its writing is poetic, but not out of context, and the detail put into characters is great. I’d recommend this to anyone who enjoys neo-noir literature, suspense novels, or Chuck Palahniuk.

I picked this up on a whim, and it is now one of my top five favorite books of the decade. Brilliant, funny, romantic, sexy, violent, twisted, etc. Phineas Poe is a complex 'hero,' and the stories are never predictable. I cannot say enough about this book. Will Christopher Baer is a genius, and everyone should read this book.

Reviewed by Mr. Janda (Social Studies)
Trying to offer another view of Italy beyond the romanticized images of such books as Under the Tuscan Sun, Jones looks at Italian politics, football, television, child rearing, gender roles and more. Corruption abounds and somehow most all of it involves Silvio Berlusconi. Excellent for a more well-rounded, authentic view of life in Italy for Italians. For a good time, read it on a flight to Rome.