Twelve Sharp Quotes

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me.
"Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?"
"Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said.
Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders."
"Has authority issues," Ranger said.
"And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over with her father's Buick once and broke my leg."
That got a small smile out of Ranger.
"Nice to see you boys bonding," I said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.'
There are some similarities.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee.
Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli."
I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us."
That too," I said.
Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster.
It's broken,"I told him.
He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven.
That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery," I said to him.
He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "I like things hot.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said. -- Twelve Sharp”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped
- Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I always listen,” Ranger said. “I don’t always agree. I have a problem right now that I can’t seem to solve by myself. I need you to help me find my daughter. And there’s an even bigger problem involved. I feel a financial and moral obligation to my daughter. I send child support, I send birthday and Christmas presents, I visit when I’m invited. But I’ve kept myself emotionally distanced. I’m not emotionally distanced from you. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because I was using you to find someone . . . even if that someone was my daughter. So I have to make every effort to keep you safe.” “You’re a little smothering.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I woke up wrapped in Ranger’s arms, our legs entwined, my face snuggled into his neck. He smelled nice, and he felt even better . . . warm and friendly. I enjoyed it for a moment before reality took hold.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I sensed a familiar presence behind me. A hand brushed my hair back, and Ranger leaned in to me and kissed me on the nape of my neck.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“This thing’s giving me an eye twitch,” Ranger said. “Can you get the sound off?” I started pressing buttons and the screen went blank. “How’s that?” I asked. “Babe, you shut the system down.” “Yes, but the sound is off.” “Reprogram it.” “No need to get testy,” I told him. “I don’t know where I’m going.” “I have a map. You just get on I-95 south and take the Springfield exit.” “And then what?” “Then you’ll have to pull over and reprogram the GPS.” Ranger cut his eyes to me and there was the tiniest of smiles on his mouth.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Holy cow!” I said. “You can’t go to the door like that!” “My gun’s in the kitchen.” “Yes, but your underwear’s on the floor in my bedroom!” And that wasn’t the biggest problem.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“You don’t listen.” “I always listen,” Ranger said. “I don’t always agree. I have a problem right now that I can’t seem to solve by myself. I need you to help me find my daughter. And there’s an even bigger problem involved. I feel a financial and moral obligation to my daughter. I send child support, I send birthday and Christmas presents, I visit when I’m invited. But I’ve kept myself emotionally distanced. I’m not emotionally distanced from you. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because I was using you to find someone . . . even if that someone was my daughter. So I have to make every effort to keep you safe.” “You’re a little smothering.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Ranger pulled onto the shoulder and reprogrammed the GPS system. “Lucky for you, you look good in a T-shirt,” Ranger said. “Lucky for you I don’t have a gun on me.” Ranger turned to me. His voice was low and even, but there was a whisper of incredulous disbelief. “You’re not carrying a gun?” “Didn’t seem necessary for us both to have one.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“You can’t be mad at me,” Ranger said. “I’m cute. I might even be adorable.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Ranger hung my bag on my shoulder and looked at me. “Are you okay with all this?” “Actually, I feel like throwing up a lot.” “It’s the doughnuts.” “It’s my life.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“This here’s the twenty-first century. Just ’cause we’re women don’t mean we can’t be sick as men.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“The downside is my picture’s been all over the media and now my movement is limited. So I could use some help.” “Why don’t you just go blond?” “I’ve been blond. When I go blond I look like I should be singing with the Village People.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“How can you completely appreciate the Jersey shore if the air is safe to breathe in the interior parts of the state?”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I’m going out for muffins.” “Give me five minutes to get my shoes on.” “I don’t have five minutes,” I said. “I have things to do. I’ve got the panic button. I’ll be fine. I’ll bring a muffin back for you. What do you want, zucchini, no fat, no sugar, extra bran?” I turned to go and Ranger scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom and tossed me onto the bed. “Five minutes,” he said, lacing his shoes. I lay there spread-eagle, waiting for him. “Very macho,” I said. He grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet. “Sometimes you try my patience.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Cute,” Ranger repeated. “That just dropped my testosterone level.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“He wrapped his hand around my wrist, pulled me to him, and kissed me. The kiss was warm and short.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Ranger was probably riding the wind, looking for the guy. And any well-adjusted person would walk away and let Ranger do his thing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that well adjusted.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp