Pudd'nhead Wilson Quotes

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of this world'd luxuries, king by grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took: we know it because she repented.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Âdem, yalnızca bir insandı. Bu her şeyi açıklıyor. Elmayı, yemek için değil, yasak olduğu için istemişti. Asıl hata, yılanı yasaklamamış olmaktı. Çünkü o zaman onu yemek isteyecekti.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.
- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“One must make allowances for a parental instinct that has been starving for twenty-five or thirty years. It is famished, it is crazed with hunger by that time, and will be entirely satisfied with anything that comes handy; its taste is atrophied, it can't tell mud cat from shad. A devil born to a young couple is measurably recognizable by them as a devil before long, but a devil adopted by an old couple is an angel to them, and remains so, through thick and thin.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“To all intents and purposes Roxy was as white as anybody, but the one sixteenth of her which was black outvoted the other fifteen parts and made her a Negro. She was a slave, and salable as such.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“I'll not go where there is any of that sort of thing going on, again. It's the sure way, and the only sure way;”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“THANKSGIVING DAY. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys; they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"—a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. —Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Ain't you my chile? En does you know anything dat a mother won't do for her chile? Day ain't nothin' a white mother won't do for her chile. Who made 'em so? De Lord done it. En who made de niggers? De Lord made 'em. In de inside, mothers is all de same. De good lord he made 'em so.”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of
a good example. —Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“A kindly courtesy does at least save one’s feelings, even if it is not professing to stand for a welcome.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson