Jayson’s Reviews > A Feast for Crows > Status Update

Notes:
(1) Sam made his Nights Watch oath to the Old Gods. A fortunate loophole for oath-breaking as, apparently, oaths made to tree gods do not apply at sea (no trees). It's equivalent to saying, "It's not cheating when on vacation."
(2) Whore: "Lady? I’m no lady. I’m the queen."
Jaime: "My sister will be surprised to hear that."
Whore: "I’m the queen o’ whores."
Jaime: "No... my sweet sister holds that title too."

A few things:
(1) "Cersei’s mouth was dry. 'I need a cup of Arbor gold. If the ironmen decided to take the Arbor next, the whole realm might soon be going thirsty.'"
- I'm sure history's full of instances where want of booze has shaped national military strategy.
(2) "The queen slid a finger into that Myrish swamp..."
- Methinks Cersei's first same-sex encounter was not so magical, judging by her choice of metaphors.

Meanderings:
(1) Euron went native whilst abroad, taking on unsavory eastern habits such as slaving and drinking shade of the evening. In contrast, having foreign habits was the root of Theon's disinheritance and downfall. A double standard favoring the fierce and fearsome.
(2) Lancel, having survived being on the brink of death, has become a born-again follower of The Seven. New converts are always the most zealous.

Notes:
(1) Young Cersei re Rhaegar: "Cersei had almost drowned in the depths of his sad purple eyes. 'He has been wounded... but I will mend his hurt when we are wed.'"
- Yes, so says every romance heroine when they set eyes upon troubled and sensitive bad boys.
(2) Sam meets Arya, but doesn’t know it’s her. Good! Wouldn’t want him to have another crisis about keeping secrets from Jon about dead siblings being alive.

Notes:
(1) Okay... is it Bry-een or Brian? Pick one! This alternating pronunciations sentence to sentence is driving me nuts!
(2) Syrio Forel is now pronounced Syrio Faw-rawl.
(3) Asha runs as the peace candidate... in a Viking election.
(4) Ser Gerold to Arianne: "It occurred to me as I was pissing that this plan of yours may not yield you what you want."
- I totally get that... all my best ideas come in the shower.

The last book gave Jaime POV chapters, windows to his thoughts and motivations. This book does the same with Cersei, though to opposite effect. While Jaime became a more nuanced and sympathetic character, Cersei's icy exterior melted to reveal a self-satisfied, would-be schemer who, though somewhat sympathetic, is motivated by spite, and fancies herself a chess grandmaster when she's in actuality astoundingly stupid.

Thoughts:
(1) Littlefinger: "I am tempted to say this is no game we play, [Sansa], but of course it is. The game of thrones."
Sansa: "I never asked to play. The game was too dangerous. One slip and I am dead."
(2) Asha: "You must lend me Haereg’s book."
Lord Rodrik: "'You may read it here. It is old and fragile.'" He studied her, frowning."
- Yes, never lend out your books! People tend to not to treat them with care.

Notes:
(1) It's deep insight into Cersei's character that her political appointments are guided by the principle of pissing off people she finds the most personally irritating. It's the Lannister Doctrine of Middlefingerism.
(2) It's a miracle! Dotrice has finally stopped saying P'Tarr, and is now properly calling Littlefinger Peter. Though now he's taken to pronouncing krakens as cray-kens, but I'll take that trade.

Notes:
(1) Cersei re Renly: “A man may prefer the taste of hippocras, yet if you set a tankard of ale before him, he will quaff it quick enough.”
- In other words, Renly liked men but a woman would do if thirsty enough.
- In books Renly being gay is only hinted at.
(2) Changes: Cat-Lynn is now Kate-Lynn, Gilly is now Jilly, Bry-een is now Brian, Melis-sond is now Meli-Sandra and Jah-kin Ha-gar is now Jay-kin Hay-gar.

A few things:
(1) The Ironborn equivalent to baptism involves death by drowning, followed by mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Which makes Aeron Damphair simultaneously Westeros' most prolific kisser and serial killer.
(2) In contrast to King Robert, Oberyn Martell actually seeks out and appropriates his bastards. Of course, it's at the expense of the mothers, many of whom no longer have young daughters to pimp for coin.