Rachel Friedland

“Right now, I am in Fallujah. I am in Darfur. I am on Sixty-third and Park having dinner with Ellen Barkin and Ron Perelman... Right now, I'm on Lafayette and Astor waiting to hit you up for change so I can get high. I'm taking a walk through the Rose Garden with George Bush. I'm helping Donald Rumsfeld get a good night's sleep...I was in that cave with Osama, and on that plane with Mohamed Atta...And what I want you to know is that your work has barely begun. And what I want you to trust is the efficacy of divine love if practiced consciously. And what I need you to believe is that if you hate who I love, you do not know me at all. And make no mistake, "Who I Love" is every last one. I am every last one. People ask of me: Where are you? Where are you?...Verily I ask of you to ask yourself: Where are you? Where are you?”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot

“EL-FAYOUMY: You're very handsome, Caiaphas.
CAIAPHUS THE ELDER: If I am, it's 'cuz God made me, not 'cuz you said so. Good day.”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot

“MARY MAGDALENE: I also knew Judas Iscariot very well. SAINT MONICA: Gangsta! MARY MAGDALENE: Out of the Twelve, he was the most moody and the most impetuous, and yet, he was my favorite. SAINT MONICA: Tupac!”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot: A Play

“MARY MAGDALENE: My name is Mary of Magdala. I was a disciple of Jesus, I was present at the crucifixion, and I was the first person He appeared to after the resurrection.
SAINT MONICA: Bitch got clout!
MARY MAGDALENE: I was one of the founders of the Christian faith, and I was known for my ability, in times of difficulty, to be able to turn the hearts of the Apostles towards the Good.
SAINT MONICA: The good!
MARY MAGDALENE: Some people think I was a whore.
SAINT MONICA: Misogynistic bitches!
MARY MAGDALENE: Other people think Jesus was my husband.
SAINT MONICA: Femin-o-tic bitches!
MARY MAGDALENE: I was not a whore.
SAINT MONICA: "Pimps up, Hos Down!"
MARY MAGDALENE: I was an unmarried woman in a town of ill repute.
SAINT MONICA: Ill repute!
MARY MAGDALENE: And also, I was not the wife of Jesus either.
SAINT MONICA: Still love ya!
MARY MAGDALENE: But, I am pretty sure that I was his best friend. We shared an intimacy that I cannot put into words except to say we saw into each other's hearts and were in love with what we found.....”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot