Margie's Reviews > Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships

3 stars

I was interested in this book because of the author's long friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. There is a nice photo on the front of the book of the two of them. However, I neglected to pay attention to the subtitle following "Dinners with Ruth." The subtitle is "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships." (Note "friendships," not "friendship.")

Although I did finish the book, it took me a while because I had to keep flipping back and forth to find various details. Here are some of the reasons that I gave it only three stars:

1. The main part of the title, "Dinners with Ruth," in bold, gold letters leaps out at one and obscures the real subject of the book, Nina Totenberg's many friendships and life stories. I wanted to read about dinners (and conversations) with RBG which definitely was not the main topic of the book.

2. The book is not chronological; I hate that, especially in non-fiction books. I realize this is a memoir and the chapter titles do state their subject matter, but the book made my head swim trying to follow the timeline which changed in every chapter.

3. Not enough photos of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, even though there were many photos of the author, her family and friends. I would have loved to have seen more photos of RBG, especially when she was young, but maybe they weren't available?

What I liked:

1. The actual conversations with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the stories of her life and her long friendship with Nina Totenberg (almost fifty years).

2. The background and stories about the Supreme Court, the justices and some of the cases they deliberated were very interesting. Nina Totenberg has been the NPR correspondent covering the Supreme Court since 1975.

3. The story of the stolen Stradivarius violin that belonged to Totenberg's father, Roman Totenberg, "a virtuoso violinist," and recovered after thirty-five years was a great story which Totenberg aired on NPR. Again, nothing to do with RBG, but an interesting part of Totenberg's memoir.

4. Nice table of contents (which I didn't glance at before I started the book, so that's on me), great notes at the end of the book of her quotes, photos and sources, great index, nice acknowledgments.

5. Some lovely quotes, including this one in the Prologue, p.xiii, from Shakespeare's Richard II: "I count myself in nothing else so happy, / As in a soul remembering my good friends." Another longer quote from the wedding ceremony that RBG performed for Totenberg and her second husband, David Reines (a trauma surgeon, health consultant and friend of RBG) is copied below.

I think if the book's title had been "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships," I would have given it a higher rating. However, I might not have read the book either. Because the main part of the title was "Dinners with Ruth" (in big, gold letters as I mentioned), it was not what I expected. It was an interesting and informative book overall, albeit a bit gossipy (which I don't mind), but it wasn't what I envisioned when I glanced at the title. Note to self: read the entire title and the table of contents, if available, before starting books!

Here is a quote that I loved from Ruth Bader Ginsburg's marriage ceremony for Nina Totenberg and David Reines, p.172:

"Before we broke the glass, a central part of a traditional Jewish wedding, Ruth noted that this 'symbolic step reminds us, at the very time we celebrate the construction of a marriage, of the fragility of relationships and of life. We break the glass too as an audible, tangible reminder of those who are not with us to share our joy, but whose voices we can hear and whose presence we can feel. We think of all those we have loved and still love, and it is the eternalness of that love that brings them to this place at this time. Our remembrances do not detract from our joy, but reinforce it.'"