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Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships
Celebrated NPR correspondent Nina Totenberg delivers an extraordinary memoir of her personal successes, struggles, and life-affirming relationships, including her beautiful friendship of nearly fifty years with Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.Four years before Nina Totenberg was hired at NPR, where she cemented her legacy as a prizewinning reporter, and nearly twenty-two years before Ruth Bader Ginsburg was appointed to the Supreme Court, Nina called Ruth. A reporter for The National Observer, Nina was curious about Ruth’s legal brief, asking the Supreme Court to do something declare a law that discriminated “on the basis of sex” to be unconstitutional. In a time when women were fired for becoming pregnant, often could not apply for credit cards or get a mortgage in their own names, Ruth patiently explained her argument. That call launched a remarkable, nearly fifty-year friendship. Dinners with Ruth is an extraordinary account of two women who paved the way for future generations by tearing down professional and legal barriers. It is also an intimate memoir of the power of friendships as women began to pry open career doors and transform the workplace. At the story’s heart is one, special Ruth and Nina saw each other not only through personal joys, but also illness, loss, and widowhood. During the devastating illness and eventual death of Nina’s first husband, Ruth drew her out of grief; twelve years later, Nina would reciprocate when Ruth’s beloved husband died. They shared not only a love of opera, but also of shopping, as they instinctively understood that clothes were armor for women who wanted to be taken seriously in a workplace dominated by men. During Ruth’s last year, they shared so many small dinners that Saturdays were “reserved for Ruth” in Nina’s house. Dinners with Ruth also weaves together compelling, personal portraits of other fascinating women and men from Nina’s life, including her cherished NPR colleagues Cokie Roberts and Linda Wertheimer; her beloved husbands; her friendships with multiple Supreme Court Justices, including Lewis Powell, William Brennan, and Antonin Scalia, and Nina’s own family—her father, the legendary violinist Roman Totenberg, and her “best friends,” her sisters. Inspiring and revelatory, Dinners with Ruth is a moving story of the joy and true meaning of friendship.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published September 13, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,269 reviews
November 13, 2022
Here's the long and short of this one for me: the title felt slightly misleading and perhaps a little bit exploitative. Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships leans far heavier into the subtitle than almost any memoir I've ever read. Nay, almost any book...period. While the friendship between Totenberg and Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not in doubt of having been real, true, and long-lasting, it is by no means the hinge upon which this recollection of a life pivots.
Totenberg goes into great detail about her life from her early career (plus a bit about her famous father) to where she is now — with many of the intervening years between covered in equal measure. Her life has been rather fascinating — I don't know that I was ever really very familiar with her or her work before this. But Ginsburg features only slightly more prominently than her other friends or her two husbands. Had I known this was simply a straight-up personal memoir about Totenberg's life, I don't know that I would've picked it up. Perhaps that would've been my loss, but nevertheless I wouldn't have felt ever so slightly misled.
From the outset, I expected something else from this book. And I don't think this was a wrongly applied expectation based on absolutely nothing: that title, that cover picture, both suggest the focus will remain almost solely on the decades-long friendship between these two women. And, wrongly or not, I assumed these life milestones would revolve around actual dinners. I expected to know something of both their lives as related to these dinners...maybe dinners when a kid was born, when Totenberg had remarried, when they lost loved ones, etc. While I do know moments in their lives from which these topics would arise, having now finished the book, Ginsburg popped in and out as much as Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and several Supreme Court Justices. And any actual dinners mattered very little.
Audiobook, as narrated by the author: While I am thrilled Totenberg recorded her own memoir, as this almost always seems optimal, her voice isn't one that is naturally suited for such work. She did a fine job overall, but there were moments when her reedy voice was a tad wearing, and I never quite settled in and forgot about it.
Totenberg goes into great detail about her life from her early career (plus a bit about her famous father) to where she is now — with many of the intervening years between covered in equal measure. Her life has been rather fascinating — I don't know that I was ever really very familiar with her or her work before this. But Ginsburg features only slightly more prominently than her other friends or her two husbands. Had I known this was simply a straight-up personal memoir about Totenberg's life, I don't know that I would've picked it up. Perhaps that would've been my loss, but nevertheless I wouldn't have felt ever so slightly misled.
From the outset, I expected something else from this book. And I don't think this was a wrongly applied expectation based on absolutely nothing: that title, that cover picture, both suggest the focus will remain almost solely on the decades-long friendship between these two women. And, wrongly or not, I assumed these life milestones would revolve around actual dinners. I expected to know something of both their lives as related to these dinners...maybe dinners when a kid was born, when Totenberg had remarried, when they lost loved ones, etc. While I do know moments in their lives from which these topics would arise, having now finished the book, Ginsburg popped in and out as much as Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and several Supreme Court Justices. And any actual dinners mattered very little.
Audiobook, as narrated by the author: While I am thrilled Totenberg recorded her own memoir, as this almost always seems optimal, her voice isn't one that is naturally suited for such work. She did a fine job overall, but there were moments when her reedy voice was a tad wearing, and I never quite settled in and forgot about it.
December 31, 2023
I listened to Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships on audiobook and it is narrated by the author, Nina Totenberg. A special bonus on the audiobook is violin music performed by Nina's late father, Roman Totenberg. Roman was a child prodigy violinist who performed his concert debut at age eleven. Near the end of the book, there is a part about her father's Stradivarius violin that was stolen and then recovered by the FBI after her father's death.
The title is misleading. The subtitle, A Memoir on the Power of Friendships, is a much better title for the book. Totenberg mentions in the beginning of the book and several times throughout her memoir that the book focuses on the power of many different friendships, in addition to her almost fifty year friendship with Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Some of the friendships Totenberg shares includes her two sisters, plus her colleagues at NPR, Cokie Roberts, and Linda Wertheimer.
This powerful memoir felt like I was sitting in the front row seat as historical (and current) issues such as wage discrimination, sexual harassment, reproductive rights, Supreme Court nominations, and presidential elections were discussed and evaluated.
The title is misleading. The subtitle, A Memoir on the Power of Friendships, is a much better title for the book. Totenberg mentions in the beginning of the book and several times throughout her memoir that the book focuses on the power of many different friendships, in addition to her almost fifty year friendship with Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Some of the friendships Totenberg shares includes her two sisters, plus her colleagues at NPR, Cokie Roberts, and Linda Wertheimer.
This powerful memoir felt like I was sitting in the front row seat as historical (and current) issues such as wage discrimination, sexual harassment, reproductive rights, Supreme Court nominations, and presidential elections were discussed and evaluated.
November 30, 2022
3.5 Stars
Nina Totenberg's Memoir Dinners With Ruth is subtitled A Memoir on the Power of Friendships. Using her friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsberg as a frame, Totenberg writes an ode to friendship rather than a fully realised memoir. Unexpectedly light and frothy, I feel like I am having a conversation with Nina (May I call you Nina?) over a cup of coffee.
"Ruth didn't teach me everything about friendship. I've had other wonderful teachers, expected and unexpected. All of them have taught me that friendship is precious, that it involves showing up, that it involves supporting and helping, that it is not always about the grand gesture, but rather about the small one. It is about extending the invitation, making space at the table, picking up the phone, and also remembering. Friendship is what cushions life's worst blows and what rejoices in life's hoped-for blessing. It can sometimes be as simple as a hug when the hug matters most."
Nina strings together a series of anecdotes in chronological order (thank goodness!) to illustrate the friendships she has had throughout her adult life. These include her relationships with her husbands, her "radio sisters" at NPR, and even her father's violin. She occasionally dips into her career, especially into the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas story, though most of the focus of this work is about her friendships.
These pieces are polished, like stories that have been retold until they shine. What is lacking for me is insight. So enjoyable and entertaining? Yes. Depth, not so much.
Nina Totenberg's Memoir Dinners With Ruth is subtitled A Memoir on the Power of Friendships. Using her friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsberg as a frame, Totenberg writes an ode to friendship rather than a fully realised memoir. Unexpectedly light and frothy, I feel like I am having a conversation with Nina (May I call you Nina?) over a cup of coffee.
"Ruth didn't teach me everything about friendship. I've had other wonderful teachers, expected and unexpected. All of them have taught me that friendship is precious, that it involves showing up, that it involves supporting and helping, that it is not always about the grand gesture, but rather about the small one. It is about extending the invitation, making space at the table, picking up the phone, and also remembering. Friendship is what cushions life's worst blows and what rejoices in life's hoped-for blessing. It can sometimes be as simple as a hug when the hug matters most."
Nina strings together a series of anecdotes in chronological order (thank goodness!) to illustrate the friendships she has had throughout her adult life. These include her relationships with her husbands, her "radio sisters" at NPR, and even her father's violin. She occasionally dips into her career, especially into the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas story, though most of the focus of this work is about her friendships.
These pieces are polished, like stories that have been retold until they shine. What is lacking for me is insight. So enjoyable and entertaining? Yes. Depth, not so much.
January 1, 2023
Audiobook…..read by the author, Nina Totenberg
…..9 hours and 30 minutes
An absolute *treasured* gift!!!!
I enjoyed every minute of this memoir…..
…..a friendship of almost fifty years.
It’s my opinion that any woman over the age of 70 -
would ‘especially’ get great value from “Dinners With Ruth”….(outstanding audio-listen)
I’m still reflecting on many new things I learned about Ruth that has empowered me personally.
Highly recommended!!!
…..9 hours and 30 minutes
An absolute *treasured* gift!!!!
I enjoyed every minute of this memoir…..
…..a friendship of almost fifty years.
It’s my opinion that any woman over the age of 70 -
would ‘especially’ get great value from “Dinners With Ruth”….(outstanding audio-listen)
I’m still reflecting on many new things I learned about Ruth that has empowered me personally.
Highly recommended!!!
September 20, 2022
How could I resist reading a book about two favorites of mine - Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg and NPR journalist Nina Totenberg? "Dinners with Ruth" is about the friendship between the two women, as told by Nina T. The memoir is expansive and covers so much more, including: Nina's reflections about being a working woman in the 1970's, what RBG's ground-breaking judicial decisions meant for women, Nina's two marriages, and how illness affected both Nina and Ruth. Over-all, it is Nina's memoir on the power of friendships, as she says in the book's title. As I read the book, I could hear Nina's voice in my mind.
So much of what she said touched me. These are two examples:
* Nina and her husband cooked for RBG weekly, inviting her for dinner every Saturday night throughout the Pandemic. As I did the same for my Dad, I understand how much love and effort went into these dinners.
* Some years ago, I read about a 13 year old girl who had the audacity (gasp) to bring tylenol to school. This slight offense got her in trouble with the school's strict No Drugs policy. For this, the girl was subjected to a strip search. What I didn't know was that the case was brought by the ACLU to the Supreme Court's attention. Initially, the male judges were not that sympathetic to the girl. RBG tried to educate them as to how sensitive girls of that age are and how invasive a strip search is. RBG's good sense prevailed.
The memoir is filled with interesting experiences from Nina's life. I appreciated her honesty and verve. I'll leave you with her advice about nurturing friendships.
"My hope is that you might, after you read this book, open an actual door, write a paper note, set a table, or simply be there for a friend."
Trigger Alert: Cancer
So much of what she said touched me. These are two examples:
* Nina and her husband cooked for RBG weekly, inviting her for dinner every Saturday night throughout the Pandemic. As I did the same for my Dad, I understand how much love and effort went into these dinners.
* Some years ago, I read about a 13 year old girl who had the audacity (gasp) to bring tylenol to school. This slight offense got her in trouble with the school's strict No Drugs policy. For this, the girl was subjected to a strip search. What I didn't know was that the case was brought by the ACLU to the Supreme Court's attention. Initially, the male judges were not that sympathetic to the girl. RBG tried to educate them as to how sensitive girls of that age are and how invasive a strip search is. RBG's good sense prevailed.
The memoir is filled with interesting experiences from Nina's life. I appreciated her honesty and verve. I'll leave you with her advice about nurturing friendships.
"My hope is that you might, after you read this book, open an actual door, write a paper note, set a table, or simply be there for a friend."
Trigger Alert: Cancer
November 12, 2022
The overarching theme in Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships is that friends play a unique and important role in our lives. In this rambling memoir by Nina Totenberg, she emphasizes the power of these relationships not only within our family but also within our family of friends. NPR correspondent, Nina Totenberg, gives one this wonderful introduction to her memoir, as follows:
This is also a powerful story of women fighting for positions where there were few women, whether that be in the reporting of the news or in the political arena or in the practice of law or in academia. One is witness to the the lives of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Nina Totenberg as each of them broke down professional and legal barriers, as they fought to advance their careers. In so doing, Ms. Totenberg and Justice Ginsburg paved the way for future generations of women. The book is also a tribute to the times in which so much history was made. But what I loved most was that this memoir was the tale of a special friendship between Nina Totenberg and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Over a span of fifty years, they were present in one another's lives over the years, sharing in the joy and the sadness, as well as the triumphs and the defeats. I came away with a deeper admiration and respect for both women.
"In my career, I have been blessed to cover fascinating newsmakers and vital isssues, and to break some big stories, but what resonates now are the extraordinary people I have come to know, and whom I have been able to call my friends. My life story is interwoven with them and has been infinitely richer for them. These pages are the stories of friends, my love letter to my friends, and ultimately the story of friendship with one very special woman. For nearly fifty years, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and I built our friendship. As with other friendships, what we built made our lives immeasurably richer."
This is also a powerful story of women fighting for positions where there were few women, whether that be in the reporting of the news or in the political arena or in the practice of law or in academia. One is witness to the the lives of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Nina Totenberg as each of them broke down professional and legal barriers, as they fought to advance their careers. In so doing, Ms. Totenberg and Justice Ginsburg paved the way for future generations of women. The book is also a tribute to the times in which so much history was made. But what I loved most was that this memoir was the tale of a special friendship between Nina Totenberg and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Over a span of fifty years, they were present in one another's lives over the years, sharing in the joy and the sadness, as well as the triumphs and the defeats. I came away with a deeper admiration and respect for both women.
October 3, 2022
I wasn’t familiar with Nina Totenberg before I heard about this book prior to its recent publication. She is a journalist and legal affairs correspondent for NPR. Dinners with Ruth is a memoir about Nina’s life, including her many years of friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Because I find journalism interesting, I enjoyed it, though readers should know the majority of the book focuses on Nina’s career and life, with pieces about RBG and their friendship.
I read Notorious RBG a few years ago and was already familiar with some information about Ruth and her life. Dinners With Ruth expanded my knowledge about her and I especially appreciated learning that RBG was not happy about SCOTUS ending recount in 2000 election, which made GWB president — Something else we have in common.
The impact RBG made is undeniable. Nina recounts their friendship over the years, starting out in a professional context where Nina reached out re: court decisions she was reporting on and RBG spent more than an hour on the phone walking her through a case. They attended dinner parties together and began to become friends. They saw each other through their spouses’ illnesses and sadly, grief as widows. Nina remarried and her second husband, David, was not only another friend to Ruth, but served as a medical confidant with the numerous health battles Ruth herself endured.
Though I didn’t know much about Nina before Dinners with Ruth, I enjoyed learning more about her and her friendship with Ruth. I listened to the audiobook, which Nina narrates.
I read Notorious RBG a few years ago and was already familiar with some information about Ruth and her life. Dinners With Ruth expanded my knowledge about her and I especially appreciated learning that RBG was not happy about SCOTUS ending recount in 2000 election, which made GWB president — Something else we have in common.
The impact RBG made is undeniable. Nina recounts their friendship over the years, starting out in a professional context where Nina reached out re: court decisions she was reporting on and RBG spent more than an hour on the phone walking her through a case. They attended dinner parties together and began to become friends. They saw each other through their spouses’ illnesses and sadly, grief as widows. Nina remarried and her second husband, David, was not only another friend to Ruth, but served as a medical confidant with the numerous health battles Ruth herself endured.
Though I didn’t know much about Nina before Dinners with Ruth, I enjoyed learning more about her and her friendship with Ruth. I listened to the audiobook, which Nina narrates.
June 19, 2022
I had really hoped to have come away from Dinners with Ruth with a better insight to Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG); the "pull to this book" seemed to be that there was a special relationship between Nina Totenberg and RBG. And there definitely was a special relationship between Nina Totenberg and RBG, I don't doubt that. I don't feel like I gained any special insight into RBG, except that she really thought out what she was going to say well in advance and I loved how she chose her words/wording.
The part of the book dove into early childhood of both the author Nna Totenberg and also Ruth Bader Ginsburg and their lineage. The two women had not met in childhood, but in my opinion this part of the book muddles the families together.
Then a couple chapters later Nina details her first husband's (Floyd) injury and passing. And then she brings she brings up Floyd again (huh ... didn't he die?). And then goes on to discuss meeting her second husband and then something about Floyd again. So I start thinking, ok ... each chapter is some sort of essay about the title of the chapter ... its not organized sequentially, I can deal with that. So I get to the acknowledgements at the end of the book and just as soon as I think "she won't be referencing Floyd here", there he is again on the last page ("Also, Floyd's family, especially his daughter Evie Maxwell and my granddaughter Cody.")
I really wanted to like this book much more than I liked it. And I feel a bit disappointed that Nina Totenberg is a writer/journalist and such a close personal friend, that this book wasn't a little better. I honestly think I would have liked the book better if it had been titled A Memoir on the Power of Love and Friendships and then subtitled friendships with Cokie Roberts and RBG somehow.
Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to review the Advance Read Copy of Dinners with Ruth in exchange for an honest review. Also thank you to the author Nina Totenberg for sharing your memoir and to the publisher Simon & Schuster. Publication date is 13 Sept 2022.
The part of the book dove into early childhood of both the author Nna Totenberg and also Ruth Bader Ginsburg and their lineage. The two women had not met in childhood, but in my opinion this part of the book muddles the families together.
Then a couple chapters later Nina details her first husband's (Floyd) injury and passing. And then she brings she brings up Floyd again (huh ... didn't he die?). And then goes on to discuss meeting her second husband and then something about Floyd again. So I start thinking, ok ... each chapter is some sort of essay about the title of the chapter ... its not organized sequentially, I can deal with that. So I get to the acknowledgements at the end of the book and just as soon as I think "she won't be referencing Floyd here", there he is again on the last page ("Also, Floyd's family, especially his daughter Evie Maxwell and my granddaughter Cody.")
I really wanted to like this book much more than I liked it. And I feel a bit disappointed that Nina Totenberg is a writer/journalist and such a close personal friend, that this book wasn't a little better. I honestly think I would have liked the book better if it had been titled A Memoir on the Power of Love and Friendships and then subtitled friendships with Cokie Roberts and RBG somehow.
Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to review the Advance Read Copy of Dinners with Ruth in exchange for an honest review. Also thank you to the author Nina Totenberg for sharing your memoir and to the publisher Simon & Schuster. Publication date is 13 Sept 2022.
November 17, 2022
Title is a misnomer - this is a book about Nina Totenberg with stories about RBG sprinkled throughout - along with stories of other people. Disappointed.
October 8, 2022
Such an interesting and charming book! I read it slowly, savoring the friendships and people featured in the book. I was in the first big class of women in law school (20 out 140) and Ruth Bader Ginsburg has long been one of my heroes. I was unaware of her close friendship with Nina Totenberg and then of course there are the other great women of NPR, Linda Wertheimer and Cokie Roberts, their spouses, careers, and care for each other. I learned a lot about the personal RBG and nothing disappointed. I was unaware that she was a horsewoman and a parasailor. What a full and wonderful life she lived. It makes me happy to know that. Such an amazing woman.
September 14, 2022
An engaging memoir by NPR's Nina Totenberg about her 50-year friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, recounting how the two larger-than-life women paved the way for the changes that brought about professional and legal rights for women in the male-dominated world in which they both struggled through in their rising careers. A sheer delight to hear Nina Totenberg's voice in your head as she unmasks her path to success and the charming shared stories between two dear friends.
July 17, 2022
4+
I am not always a huge fan of memoirs, because most people’s lives simply are not interesting enough to fill a book, but as NPR justice reporter for almost half a century (!), Nina Totenberg certainly qualifies, and I am pleased to report that the book was as good as I had hoped it would be.
Do not be misled by the title. Dinners with Ruth is Totenberg’s own memoir. Her professional life, during which she had to deal with the sexism of the era and covered just about every major news event of the past 50 years, provides wonderful content in and of itself, but the theme around which the book is built is the importance of friendship for both professional and personal life. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, whom she met before either of them was a prominent person, is the friend Totenberg discusses most in the book, and I came away with a lovely portrait of her through the lens of a friend who was also a reporter, but Ruth is not the primary focus of the book until the latter part, which beautifully discusses Ruth’s death and that of her beloved husband Marty. There is a very moving description of RBG reading her last letter from Marty. Ruth cried; so did I.
There are stories in the book about the role of other friends in the author’s life, too, like Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and many others whose names readers will not recognize. It was also interesting to read about how a journalist tracks down information; I especially enjoyed her scavenging to try to learn who President Nixon was considering to nominate to the Supreme Court in 1971. There is a lot of very interesting background on the various Supreme Court justices and her relationships with them. Totenberg writes very well about the sensitivities involved in being a journalist covering news about prominent people who are also your friends.
This is an enjoyable and informative book on many levels that I have already recommended to several friends. Just do not be misled by the title to expect a book about Justice Ginsberg, although I am sure such a book would be just as fascinating!
I received an Advance Review Copy of this book from Edelweiss and Simon and Schuster; the review reflects my honest opinion.
I am not always a huge fan of memoirs, because most people’s lives simply are not interesting enough to fill a book, but as NPR justice reporter for almost half a century (!), Nina Totenberg certainly qualifies, and I am pleased to report that the book was as good as I had hoped it would be.
Do not be misled by the title. Dinners with Ruth is Totenberg’s own memoir. Her professional life, during which she had to deal with the sexism of the era and covered just about every major news event of the past 50 years, provides wonderful content in and of itself, but the theme around which the book is built is the importance of friendship for both professional and personal life. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, whom she met before either of them was a prominent person, is the friend Totenberg discusses most in the book, and I came away with a lovely portrait of her through the lens of a friend who was also a reporter, but Ruth is not the primary focus of the book until the latter part, which beautifully discusses Ruth’s death and that of her beloved husband Marty. There is a very moving description of RBG reading her last letter from Marty. Ruth cried; so did I.
There are stories in the book about the role of other friends in the author’s life, too, like Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and many others whose names readers will not recognize. It was also interesting to read about how a journalist tracks down information; I especially enjoyed her scavenging to try to learn who President Nixon was considering to nominate to the Supreme Court in 1971. There is a lot of very interesting background on the various Supreme Court justices and her relationships with them. Totenberg writes very well about the sensitivities involved in being a journalist covering news about prominent people who are also your friends.
This is an enjoyable and informative book on many levels that I have already recommended to several friends. Just do not be misled by the title to expect a book about Justice Ginsberg, although I am sure such a book would be just as fascinating!
I received an Advance Review Copy of this book from Edelweiss and Simon and Schuster; the review reflects my honest opinion.
February 17, 2023
I can’t help but feel that Ginsburg’s name was used to sell this book rather than to actually capture what it was about. It feels like a half-realized Totenberg memoir with lots of stories about Ruth mixed in. Definitely an enjoyable listen, but not what I was expecting.
August 1, 2023
3 stars
I was interested in this book because of the author's long friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. There is a nice photo on the front of the book of the two of them. However, I neglected to pay attention to the subtitle following "Dinners with Ruth." The subtitle is "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships." (Note "friendships," not "friendship.")
Although I did finish the book, it took me a while because I had to keep flipping back and forth to find various details. Here are some of the reasons that I gave it only three stars:
1. The main part of the title, "Dinners with Ruth," in bold, gold letters leaps out at one and obscures the real subject of the book, Nina Totenberg's many friendships and life stories. I wanted to read about dinners (and conversations) with RBG which definitely was not the main topic of the book.
2. The book is not chronological; I hate that, especially in non-fiction books. I realize this is a memoir and the chapter titles do state their subject matter, but the book made my head swim trying to follow the timeline which changed in every chapter.
3. Not enough photos of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, even though there were many photos of the author, her family and friends. I would have loved to have seen more photos of RBG, especially when she was young, but maybe they weren't available?
What I liked:
1. The actual conversations with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the stories of her life and her long friendship with Nina Totenberg (almost fifty years).
2. The background and stories about the Supreme Court, the justices and some of the cases they deliberated were very interesting. Nina Totenberg has been the NPR correspondent covering the Supreme Court since 1975.
3. The story of the stolen Stradivarius violin that belonged to Totenberg's father, Roman Totenberg, "a virtuoso violinist," and recovered after thirty-five years was a great story which Totenberg aired on NPR. Again, nothing to do with RBG, but an interesting part of Totenberg's memoir.
4. Nice table of contents (which I didn't glance at before I started the book, so that's on me), great notes at the end of the book of her quotes, photos and sources, great index, nice acknowledgments.
5. Some lovely quotes, including this one in the Prologue, p.xiii, from Shakespeare's Richard II: "I count myself in nothing else so happy, / As in a soul remembering my good friends." Another longer quote from the wedding ceremony that RBG performed for Totenberg and her second husband, David Reines (a trauma surgeon, health consultant and friend of RBG) is copied below.
I think if the book's title had been "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships," I would have given it a higher rating. However, I might not have read the book either. Because the main part of the title was "Dinners with Ruth" (in big, gold letters as I mentioned), it was not what I expected. It was an interesting and informative book overall, albeit a bit gossipy (which I don't mind), but it wasn't what I envisioned when I glanced at the title. Note to self: read the entire title and the table of contents, if available, before starting books!
Here is a quote that I loved from Ruth Bader Ginsburg's marriage ceremony for Nina Totenberg and David Reines, p.172:
"Before we broke the glass, a central part of a traditional Jewish wedding, Ruth noted that this 'symbolic step reminds us, at the very time we celebrate the construction of a marriage, of the fragility of relationships and of life. We break the glass too as an audible, tangible reminder of those who are not with us to share our joy, but whose voices we can hear and whose presence we can feel. We think of all those we have loved and still love, and it is the eternalness of that love that brings them to this place at this time. Our remembrances do not detract from our joy, but reinforce it.'"
I was interested in this book because of the author's long friendship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. There is a nice photo on the front of the book of the two of them. However, I neglected to pay attention to the subtitle following "Dinners with Ruth." The subtitle is "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships." (Note "friendships," not "friendship.")
Although I did finish the book, it took me a while because I had to keep flipping back and forth to find various details. Here are some of the reasons that I gave it only three stars:
1. The main part of the title, "Dinners with Ruth," in bold, gold letters leaps out at one and obscures the real subject of the book, Nina Totenberg's many friendships and life stories. I wanted to read about dinners (and conversations) with RBG which definitely was not the main topic of the book.
2. The book is not chronological; I hate that, especially in non-fiction books. I realize this is a memoir and the chapter titles do state their subject matter, but the book made my head swim trying to follow the timeline which changed in every chapter.
3. Not enough photos of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, even though there were many photos of the author, her family and friends. I would have loved to have seen more photos of RBG, especially when she was young, but maybe they weren't available?
What I liked:
1. The actual conversations with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the stories of her life and her long friendship with Nina Totenberg (almost fifty years).
2. The background and stories about the Supreme Court, the justices and some of the cases they deliberated were very interesting. Nina Totenberg has been the NPR correspondent covering the Supreme Court since 1975.
3. The story of the stolen Stradivarius violin that belonged to Totenberg's father, Roman Totenberg, "a virtuoso violinist," and recovered after thirty-five years was a great story which Totenberg aired on NPR. Again, nothing to do with RBG, but an interesting part of Totenberg's memoir.
4. Nice table of contents (which I didn't glance at before I started the book, so that's on me), great notes at the end of the book of her quotes, photos and sources, great index, nice acknowledgments.
5. Some lovely quotes, including this one in the Prologue, p.xiii, from Shakespeare's Richard II: "I count myself in nothing else so happy, / As in a soul remembering my good friends." Another longer quote from the wedding ceremony that RBG performed for Totenberg and her second husband, David Reines (a trauma surgeon, health consultant and friend of RBG) is copied below.
I think if the book's title had been "A Memoir on the Power of Friendships," I would have given it a higher rating. However, I might not have read the book either. Because the main part of the title was "Dinners with Ruth" (in big, gold letters as I mentioned), it was not what I expected. It was an interesting and informative book overall, albeit a bit gossipy (which I don't mind), but it wasn't what I envisioned when I glanced at the title. Note to self: read the entire title and the table of contents, if available, before starting books!
Here is a quote that I loved from Ruth Bader Ginsburg's marriage ceremony for Nina Totenberg and David Reines, p.172:
"Before we broke the glass, a central part of a traditional Jewish wedding, Ruth noted that this 'symbolic step reminds us, at the very time we celebrate the construction of a marriage, of the fragility of relationships and of life. We break the glass too as an audible, tangible reminder of those who are not with us to share our joy, but whose voices we can hear and whose presence we can feel. We think of all those we have loved and still love, and it is the eternalness of that love that brings them to this place at this time. Our remembrances do not detract from our joy, but reinforce it.'"
November 27, 2022
Big disappointment. The title is misleading; RBG fans go elsewhere. Uninteresting despite happening during interesting historical time. YAWN
November 12, 2022
Do you ever feel like a book is absolutely perfect for you? That is how I felt about this one. Memoirs are starting me of my very favorite genres, especially when the audiobook is read by the author. I love everything NPR, including Nina Totenberg. Words cannot express how much I adore and admire RBG. This reflection on Totenberg’s relationship with RBG and thoughtful study of friendship in general was wonderful.
January 10, 2023
So fun to read a book by Nina Totenberg . . . .her voice is as familiar to all of us NPR fans as our favorite aunt's. . .and for her to be telling stories about RGB? Real reading bliss there!
Real life stories, about our world, their lives, our lives. This was a fantastic read, especially with all the overlapping interest areas. If you are at all inclined, dive in. You'll be glad you did!
Real life stories, about our world, their lives, our lives. This was a fantastic read, especially with all the overlapping interest areas. If you are at all inclined, dive in. You'll be glad you did!
June 9, 2023
Read for the Booktube prize, not selected for the Semifinals.
My Ranking: #2 out of 6 books
Rating: 4.5 stars
Net Promoter Score: 9 (Promoter)
An absolute gem of a book that dives into friendships and RBG. Made me realize how vulnerable human life is and how long and excruciating it can be. Teaches you the value of friendships, dealing with life's hardships and how life is really really long and lived out in phases.
Highly recommend for a nonfiction read on friendship.
My Ranking: #2 out of 6 books
Rating: 4.5 stars
Net Promoter Score: 9 (Promoter)
An absolute gem of a book that dives into friendships and RBG. Made me realize how vulnerable human life is and how long and excruciating it can be. Teaches you the value of friendships, dealing with life's hardships and how life is really really long and lived out in phases.
Highly recommend for a nonfiction read on friendship.
November 11, 2022
Wonderful stories to tell here, but I found the disjointed narrative, shifting times and topics rather haphazardly, made this a slow read for me.
December 1, 2022
I picked up the book because it was about RBG. The title is misleading. It's all about the author and her name dropping. So disappointed.
May 20, 2023
― “She would make a comment, and it would go entirely unremarked upon. Fifteen minutes later, a male justice would make the same point, and the response around the table would be “That’s a good idea.” The day-to-day dismissal of a smart woman’s voice—which so many women have experienced—happened even on the Supreme Court.”
― Nina Totenberg, Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships
My first exposure to National Public Radio (NPR) was in the mid-‘70s, when I carpooled to my engineering job with my boss. He always had his car radio set to NPR—Morning Edition in the morning and All Things Considered in the evenings. If you’re not a listener as I am, these news programs combine news, analysis, commentary, interviews, and special features broadcast live daily. To this day, I consider NPR to be one of the most trustworthy sources of news. Journalists Nina Totenberg, Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and Susan Stamberg became household names. I applauded NPR’s decision to treat female journalists as equals to their male counterparts.
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died September 18, 2020 at age 87, is rightly regarded as a titan of American jurisprudence. Ginsburg became an unlikely pop culture hero in her 80s. Her reputation as a fighter for equal rights earned her the moniker “Notorious RBG,” a play on late rapper Notorious B.I.G. Only the second woman to serve as an Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, Ginsburg got the nickname in 2013 after the Supreme Court invalidated a key part of the Voting Rights Act, and she issued a powerful, fiery dissent. Some of Ginsburg’s most blistering dissents came from cases involving gender discrimination and civil rights – an issue she pioneered throughout her legal career. Her first gender discrimination case argued before the Supreme Court inspired a Hollywood movie.
As a journalist covering the Supreme Court, Nina Totenberg developed a close friendship with Ginsburg. Dinners with Ruth tells the story of that friendship, the challenges of serving on the highest court in the land, and their own personal struggles. Despite her fiery dissents, Totenberg notes that Ginsburg had a gift for being “able to separate fierce intellectual disagreements from personal animus.” While Ginsburg has been honored and eulogized many times since her death, Totenberg gives the reader a very personal view of the justice. I found it to be an affectionate and revealing portrait of an important figure in American history. I would only note that readers who are not familiar with Nina Totenberg or NPR might not enjoy the book quite as much as fans of NPR, as the author does recount many of her own personal stories.
― Nina Totenberg, Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships
My first exposure to National Public Radio (NPR) was in the mid-‘70s, when I carpooled to my engineering job with my boss. He always had his car radio set to NPR—Morning Edition in the morning and All Things Considered in the evenings. If you’re not a listener as I am, these news programs combine news, analysis, commentary, interviews, and special features broadcast live daily. To this day, I consider NPR to be one of the most trustworthy sources of news. Journalists Nina Totenberg, Cokie Roberts, Linda Wertheimer, and Susan Stamberg became household names. I applauded NPR’s decision to treat female journalists as equals to their male counterparts.
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died September 18, 2020 at age 87, is rightly regarded as a titan of American jurisprudence. Ginsburg became an unlikely pop culture hero in her 80s. Her reputation as a fighter for equal rights earned her the moniker “Notorious RBG,” a play on late rapper Notorious B.I.G. Only the second woman to serve as an Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, Ginsburg got the nickname in 2013 after the Supreme Court invalidated a key part of the Voting Rights Act, and she issued a powerful, fiery dissent. Some of Ginsburg’s most blistering dissents came from cases involving gender discrimination and civil rights – an issue she pioneered throughout her legal career. Her first gender discrimination case argued before the Supreme Court inspired a Hollywood movie.
As a journalist covering the Supreme Court, Nina Totenberg developed a close friendship with Ginsburg. Dinners with Ruth tells the story of that friendship, the challenges of serving on the highest court in the land, and their own personal struggles. Despite her fiery dissents, Totenberg notes that Ginsburg had a gift for being “able to separate fierce intellectual disagreements from personal animus.” While Ginsburg has been honored and eulogized many times since her death, Totenberg gives the reader a very personal view of the justice. I found it to be an affectionate and revealing portrait of an important figure in American history. I would only note that readers who are not familiar with Nina Totenberg or NPR might not enjoy the book quite as much as fans of NPR, as the author does recount many of her own personal stories.
December 31, 2022
DINNERS WITH RUTH: A MEMOIR ON THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIPS
Nina Totenberg
I have read several books about RBG and loved them all. I think she was an amazing woman whom I would have loved to have known. But barring that, I enjoyed reading about her friendship with Nina Totenberg who is also a fairly remarkable woman.
The book is "an extraordinary account" of two women who enjoyed a warm friendship as they shared their view of the changing times of professional women, wives, mothers, and just friends. I really enjoyed Nina's recollections of their relationship. The book really relates to women and how and what women think. It really provides a glimpse into friendship.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
Nina Totenberg
I have read several books about RBG and loved them all. I think she was an amazing woman whom I would have loved to have known. But barring that, I enjoyed reading about her friendship with Nina Totenberg who is also a fairly remarkable woman.
The book is "an extraordinary account" of two women who enjoyed a warm friendship as they shared their view of the changing times of professional women, wives, mothers, and just friends. I really enjoyed Nina's recollections of their relationship. The book really relates to women and how and what women think. It really provides a glimpse into friendship.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
September 16, 2022
Not sure what's worse — the prose or the lack of journalistic ethics. An embarrassment on multiple fronts!
July 24, 2022
I love this book. A stunningly beautiful story of how friendship, true unfailing friendship, can change your life in powerful ways. Of course I love reading about Ruth, Linda and Cokie, but this was about so much more than the famous names. I am so incredibly thankful to have been able to read this advance reader copy and I will surely be sharing this book far and wide when it's published!
I read an advanced copy of this book from Simon and Schuster in exchange for an honest review.
I read an advanced copy of this book from Simon and Schuster in exchange for an honest review.
February 23, 2023
The title promises an extraordinary story. I fully expected a book about Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Turns out it should have been titled Nina Totenberg: A Memoir. This book is about Nina with an extremely light peppering of anecdotes about RBG. Very disappointing and perhaps somewhat exploitive of Totenberg or whoever titled this book. I would not have read this if I knew it was a memoir of Totenberg. I’m very particular about the memoirs I read as it is not my favorite genre.
April 9, 2023
I love my friendships with women. I must have been appreciating (or missing) them even more when I picked up Nina Totenberg’s 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘙𝘶𝘵𝘩: 𝘈 𝘔𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘍𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴. Totenberg is NPR’s correspondent on all things Supreme Court. While writing about her friendships with NPR women leaders like Cokie Roberts and Linda Wertheimer, including their struggle to feel seen in the workplace, the book is also about Totenberg’s friendships with men like Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Obviously the book also focuses on the history of her friendship with Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Totenberg has seen a lot. She shares many of her stories. I didn’t realize she was the one who broke the story about Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas. She writes about the difficulty of being a friend or being a journalist. There were some things in the book that I’m not sure she should have shared? The incidents felt private. Ms. Totenberg really showed the lengths to which RBG tried to live until there was a different president to name her successor. I think one of the reasons Totenberg wrote the book was to show that things truly used to be different on the Supreme Court, and in the country really. She used Justice Samuel Alito’s leaked abortion ruling as an example.
After reading the book, I realized I have very little knowledge of how the Supreme Court works. I also wish Lynn cooked for me like RBG’s husband Marty did for her- lol.
4 / 5 stars
PS. I listen to NPR pretty much every day. But I was surprised that when a name came up in this book, one like Steve Inskeep or Cokie Roberts, I couldn’t immediately recall their voices. I asked myself about other voices, LIKE MY MOM’S, and I couldn’t recall hers either. Of course, when I hear it, I know it’s hers, but I can’t just immediately recall it. Can you?
Totenberg has seen a lot. She shares many of her stories. I didn’t realize she was the one who broke the story about Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas. She writes about the difficulty of being a friend or being a journalist. There were some things in the book that I’m not sure she should have shared? The incidents felt private. Ms. Totenberg really showed the lengths to which RBG tried to live until there was a different president to name her successor. I think one of the reasons Totenberg wrote the book was to show that things truly used to be different on the Supreme Court, and in the country really. She used Justice Samuel Alito’s leaked abortion ruling as an example.
After reading the book, I realized I have very little knowledge of how the Supreme Court works. I also wish Lynn cooked for me like RBG’s husband Marty did for her- lol.
4 / 5 stars
PS. I listen to NPR pretty much every day. But I was surprised that when a name came up in this book, one like Steve Inskeep or Cokie Roberts, I couldn’t immediately recall their voices. I asked myself about other voices, LIKE MY MOM’S, and I couldn’t recall hers either. Of course, when I hear it, I know it’s hers, but I can’t just immediately recall it. Can you?
September 26, 2023
I don’t remember a period in my life where I did not read news daily; I even subscribed to a daily newspaper as a cash-strapped college student. My eighth grade civics and law classes cemented this, and once I started driving, I listened to NPR religiously.
This continued until audiobooks became easily accessible (tapes or CDs from the library were treats, but there were limited offerings, car compatibility issues, and the scorching desert heat and meltable cassettes worth hundreds of dollars was a liability).
Nina Totenberg is someone I feel reasonably acquainted with, and RBG is obviously a legend. This book definitely held my interest with its stories of modern political history, journalism, and law. And friendship has become my inadvertent September reading theme.
That said, this read more newsy memoir than friend story, but friendship was there and I enjoyed the ride.
This continued until audiobooks became easily accessible (tapes or CDs from the library were treats, but there were limited offerings, car compatibility issues, and the scorching desert heat and meltable cassettes worth hundreds of dollars was a liability).
Nina Totenberg is someone I feel reasonably acquainted with, and RBG is obviously a legend. This book definitely held my interest with its stories of modern political history, journalism, and law. And friendship has become my inadvertent September reading theme.
That said, this read more newsy memoir than friend story, but friendship was there and I enjoyed the ride.
January 4, 2024
It amazed me how interwoven friendships are within the DC society. I just never realized that reporters and judges interacted and formed lasting relationships from often chance meetings/interviews. Maybe this was unique to Nina T, maybe she is the nucleus but the memoir depicts lifelong friendships with not only RGB but several justices and makes Washington DC seem like a very small town The insight into RGB’s personal life was precious and makes her even more of a rockstar. I will say that there are a lot of cancer diagnosis - sad.
March 12, 2023
There's something in my eye. Dust, probably. Has to be. I did not expect to love this book but I absolutely did. It is a strange mix of autobiography and biography and just beyond interesting. The story is interwoven with news and advice that isn't couched as advice. It really is about what it means to be a friend. Not really my normal kind of book, but I'm so glad I read it. I also would really, really like to meet Nina Totenberg.
September 29, 2022
'Dinners with Ruth' is a bit of a misnomer. It's mostly musings and reminiscings of Nina Totenberg's time covering the Supreme Court. It's no less interesting for that, but her slightly apologist attitude towards the conservative side of the bench is frustrating and smacks of both-sides-ism. Most of the anecdotes were a pleasure to read.
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