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Carmen's Reviews > This Is How You Lose Her
This Is How You Lose Her
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Carmen's review
bookshelves: traditionally-published, will-put-you-off-men, fiction, he-says, dominican-author, published2012
Jan 13, 2017
bookshelves: traditionally-published, will-put-you-off-men, fiction, he-says, dominican-author, published2012
1.) Misogyny. Women are just fucktoys. Men are not loyal, never will be loyal, and women shouldn't expect them to be. Men will cheat and fuck anything that moves until they die. Just the way it is. There's no such thing as a loyal husband or boyfriend.
Women have no personalities or character traits. Instead they are distinguished by their body parts, "the one with the small breasts," "the one with the wide hips," "the one with the gigantic ass."
2.) The world is pain. Everything is terrible. There is no good in the world, it's a never-ending cesspool of misery. “Life sucks and then you die” is really not a message I stand behind.
3.) I speak Spanish, so I was fine, but if you don't understand Spanish I can see getting very annoyed with this book. He flips back and forth from Spanish to English all the time.
Even though Díaz is a smart and capable author, all I felt reading this was mild frustration. I didn't feel sad, I didn't really connect to any of the characters. The never-ending misogyny and the unrelenting stupidity (as in “inability to learn anything”, not book smarts) of the main character were annoying and didn't make for any kind of good storyline or plot. If you could even claim this book has a storyline or plot, which I find doubtful.
Tl;dr – Plotless, misogynistic garbage with a dismal worldview.
Women have no personalities or character traits. Instead they are distinguished by their body parts, "the one with the small breasts," "the one with the wide hips," "the one with the gigantic ass."
2.) The world is pain. Everything is terrible. There is no good in the world, it's a never-ending cesspool of misery. “Life sucks and then you die” is really not a message I stand behind.
3.) I speak Spanish, so I was fine, but if you don't understand Spanish I can see getting very annoyed with this book. He flips back and forth from Spanish to English all the time.
Even though Díaz is a smart and capable author, all I felt reading this was mild frustration. I didn't feel sad, I didn't really connect to any of the characters. The never-ending misogyny and the unrelenting stupidity (as in “inability to learn anything”, not book smarts) of the main character were annoying and didn't make for any kind of good storyline or plot. If you could even claim this book has a storyline or plot, which I find doubtful.
Tl;dr – Plotless, misogynistic garbage with a dismal worldview.
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Reading Progress
January 2, 2014
– Shelved
January 13, 2017
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Started Reading
January 13, 2017
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Donna
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Jan 13, 2017 09:17PM
Great review, Carmen. I'm sorry this book was so awful. It sounds very dismal. Thanks for the warning. I like how you shelved it as "will put you off men" which is a useful category of books to avoid.
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Great review, Carmen. I'm sorry this book was so awful. It sounds very dismal. Thanks for the warning. I like how you shelved it as "will put you off men" which is a useful category of books to avoid. Thanks, Donna! LOL Yes, I love that shelf - very useful. There are some books that just make you never want to touch a man again. This is one of them.
I'd heard so much praise for this book, it turned out to be such a dud.
Jennifer wrote: "I like your bullet points. :)"LOL Thank you, Jennifer!
Just started this and your review sums up my feeling so far. Mildly frustrated is an accurate description. Not sure if I'll get through but trying. (I feel like I'm filling my head with a cops episode or crap).
Sprout117 wrote: "Just started this and your review sums up my feeling so far. Mildly frustrated is an accurate description. Not sure if I'll get through but trying. (I feel like I'm filling my head with a cops episode or crap)...."Yes, this is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Unsure of why it is lauded as if it is the Second Coming. Just ridiculous, there are so many better books out there.
Agreed - still trying to give it a shot in thinking I'm missing the point but it's just not catching. Why all of the praise? Boy trying to read it in hopes of answering that question. Did you finish it?
Sprout117 wrote: "Agreed - still trying to give it a shot in thinking I'm missing the point but it's just not catching. Why all of the praise? Boy trying to read it in hopes of answering that question. Did you finish it?..."Yes, I read it cover to cover. Complete waste of time. It doesn't get any better. I have NO IDEA why all the praise. It completely escapes me.
I'll start by saying that I don't judge anyone's personal opinion, we're all entitled to one. But one star because...? It's a realistic portrayal of a world that's not gender equal. It's full of drugs, sex and poverty. I believe people should judge books by how well-written they are, not by the fact that they didn't find what they wanted in their pages. If so, I should give Lolita by Nabokov -1 star. But I didn't. It's one of the best books I have ever read. Just saying... :/
I'll start by saying that I don't judge anyone's personal opinion, we're all entitled to one. But one star because...? It's a realistic portrayal of a world that's not gender equal. It's full of drugs, sex and poverty. I believe people should judge books by how well-written they are, not by the fact that they didn't find what they wanted in their pages. If so, I should give Lolita by Nabokov -1 star. But I didn't. It's one of the best books I have ever read. Just saying... :/ I hated this book and didn't enjoy it at all. Therefore one star. Not anything unfair about it. If I close a book and feel like shit or like the book was a waste of time, it gets one star. If I feel like I regret reading a book, one star.
I am not going to give books that make me feel like that more than one star because other people claim they are well-written or give them awards, etc. It would be counterproductive of me writing reviews, which reflect my response to the book. :)
Agree with you whole-heartedly, Carmen. I'm not interested in books with 'oh so poetic' writing that make me feel like punching things because they fill me with rage. Who really enjoys feeling rage? Reading is something I do for fun and relaxation, being that angry is not fun or relaxing.I don't know if it was as depressing or misogynistic as this (because I DNFed pretty early on), but I can't recommend The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao to you, either. I do recommend 'Cameron's' review which has the most likes as he give very concise reasoning behind his one star.
Agree with you whole-heartedly, Carmen. I'm not interested in books with 'oh so poetic' writing that make me feel like punching things because they fill me with rage. Who really enjoys feeling rage? Reading is something I do for fun and relaxation, being that angry is not fun or relaxing.I don't know if it was as depressing or misogynistic as this (because I DNFed pretty early on), but I can't recommend The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao to you, either. I do recommend 'Cameron's' review which has the most likes as he give very concise reasoning behind his one star.
Yes, thank you, Sarah. And to be honest, I didn't think the writing was amazing here, either. I honestly don't understand the hype. It's possible I can enjoy books with unenjoyable content but amazing writing style (case in point: Joe Abercrombie) but that was not the case here. So even that was not doing it for me.
Thank you for the warning on WAO. I wasn't going to pick it up anyway, due to my reaction to this book, but it's good to know.
Carmen wrote: "Thank you for the warning on WAO. I wasn't going to pick it up anyway, due to my reaction to this book, but it's good to know. "You're welcome and the same goes for me and not having any intention of reading this, but now I actual evidence showing why I wouldn't enjoy it.
It seems we helped each other out! :)
Interesting conversation.Speaking as an author, I agree with you, Carmen; stories about unfair, gritty or bigotry-laden cultures/situations do not necessarily have to be depressing and/or rage-inducing to a reader. One can write about such things without glorifying them. Indeed, it is possible to write very uplifting stories set in bad places.
A book which does nothing except depress readers is a badly done book, even if the author knows how to turn a phrase.
Interesting conversation.Speaking as an author, I agree with you, Carmen; stories about unfair, gritty or bigotry-laden cultures/situations do not necessarily have to be depressing and/or rage-inducing to a reader. One can write about such things without glorifying them. Indeed, it is possible to write very uplifting stories set in bad places.
A book which does nothing except depress readers is a badly done book, even if the author knows how to turn a phrase.
Thank you, Eric. There is such a thing as being such a good writer even a distasteful or depressing book can be beautiful, but the writing here was not at that level IMO.
And even then, I would only allow beautiful writing to go so far. It might earn a 'four' with me but not a 'five.'
I def enjoyed this begetter than you did lol. I love your review though.
Michael wrote: "I def enjoyed this begetter than you did lol. I love your review though."Thank you, Michael.
I confess I loved this book Carmen. When I read it I felt the misogyny came from the characters, not the author, and it was the men that came across as feckless and hopeless. But of course, it now appears that even if I do believe Junot Diaz is a great writer, he doesn't appear to be a pleasant human being, so if I could now bring myself to re-read it, (and not sure I can) it is perfectly possible I may see many of the flaws you identify.
I confess I loved this book Carmen. When I read it I felt the misogyny came from the characters, not the author, and it was the men that came across as feckless and hopeless. But of course, it now appears that even if I do believe Junot Diaz is a great writer, he doesn't appear to be a pleasant human being, so if I could now bring myself to re-read it, (and not sure I can) it is perfectly possible I may see many of the flaws you identify. I wrote this before the scandal, as you know, Richard. Scandal aside, it seems as if Díaz's mind is just not somewhere I want to be. I don't believe the 'misogynist characters, not misogynist man' argument simply because I have read a non-fiction piece by Díaz and it lines up with my previous assessment.
I mean... I am not using the scandal to say anything here, I try not to do that although it is increasingly difficult nowadays. The book, taken alone and on its own merit, was atrocious to me. *shrug*
I realize I was/am in the minority about this, this book and his other book get so much praise and positive attention. I was the outlier, but I just can't stand this kind of thing.
And by this kind of thing I mean his writing, plots, characters, and worldview portrayed through fiction.
I was going to read this book after my revisiting Harry Potter readathon, but I am so glad I looked at the reviews before deciding to pick this book up. I think I am going to toss in my next book unhaul. Not worth the time if this is what the author thinks women are.
I was going to read this book after my revisiting Harry Potter readathon, but I am so glad I looked at the reviews before deciding to pick this book up. I think I am going to toss in my next book unhaul. Not worth the time if this is what the author thinks women are.That's probably a good idea, Tiffany. Glad I could be of help.
The stories vary considerably. Some are as detestable as you say. Others very much are not. You chose to ignore those.
HansBlog wrote: "The stories vary considerably. Some are as detestable as you say. Others very much are not. You chose to ignore those."Sorry you didn't enjoy my review, HansBlog. Have a great day!
Yep, I don’t need to write a review after reading yours. It’s like people who never change, but not in a good way—that’s what the characters are like in this book. No redemption. Good imagery, but, still, in a way that felt degrading.
Candace wrote: "Yep, I don’t need to write a review after reading yours. It’s like people who never change, but not in a good way—that’s what the characters are like in this book. No redemption. Good imagery, but, still, in a way that felt degrading..."Great way of putting it, Candace.
