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Jill's Reviews > All Fours
All Fours
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Sigh. Some books make me feel positively ancient. Not many. But this is one of them.
Imagine being so evolved that you give birth a baby and immediately begin referring to that baby with the pronouns they/their. Not because the newborn is transgender; in fact, there’s every chance that the infant is cisgender. But because you are so cleverly post-gender and so very modern. And imagine if marriage, to you, is nothing more than a script, divorce reinforces the supremacy of marriage, and life, in effect, ends for women in their 40s when they become perimenopausal. One more thing. Imagine if pulling out a bloody tampon is an act of eroticism.
If you agree with all of this, you are the audience for this book. I’m obviously not. There is some great writing and plot development here. Our narrator goes on a solitary driving trip and ends up in shabby motel just miles from home. She’s got some money to burn, so she redecorates her motel room to the tune of $20k. Her decorator is the wife of a much-younger man she meets at a gas station. She wants to fuck him.So far so good. I can dig that fantasy.
Then she has an emotionally intense affair with said man, in that room. Now we’re in Erica Jong Fear of Flying territory. She eventually realizes that some of this is because of her fading libido. (Some of the best writing is in her recognition of what menopause wrecks on the female body. It’s akin to a nine-year-old looking at the skeleton of a dinosaur and realizing for the first time that she is also going to die someday).
All Four has its possibilities. It’s quirky and audacious and has sparks of insight into the female (dare I say that?) condition and the role of fantasy. But at times, I feel that it tries so hard to be postmodern, relevant, nihilistic, and cool. I guess I’m that dinosaur, still believing that, while erotic candor is good, true connection is even better.
Imagine being so evolved that you give birth a baby and immediately begin referring to that baby with the pronouns they/their. Not because the newborn is transgender; in fact, there’s every chance that the infant is cisgender. But because you are so cleverly post-gender and so very modern. And imagine if marriage, to you, is nothing more than a script, divorce reinforces the supremacy of marriage, and life, in effect, ends for women in their 40s when they become perimenopausal. One more thing. Imagine if pulling out a bloody tampon is an act of eroticism.
If you agree with all of this, you are the audience for this book. I’m obviously not. There is some great writing and plot development here. Our narrator goes on a solitary driving trip and ends up in shabby motel just miles from home. She’s got some money to burn, so she redecorates her motel room to the tune of $20k. Her decorator is the wife of a much-younger man she meets at a gas station. She wants to fuck him.So far so good. I can dig that fantasy.
Then she has an emotionally intense affair with said man, in that room. Now we’re in Erica Jong Fear of Flying territory. She eventually realizes that some of this is because of her fading libido. (Some of the best writing is in her recognition of what menopause wrecks on the female body. It’s akin to a nine-year-old looking at the skeleton of a dinosaur and realizing for the first time that she is also going to die someday).
All Four has its possibilities. It’s quirky and audacious and has sparks of insight into the female (dare I say that?) condition and the role of fantasy. But at times, I feel that it tries so hard to be postmodern, relevant, nihilistic, and cool. I guess I’m that dinosaur, still believing that, while erotic candor is good, true connection is even better.
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Reading Progress
June 6, 2024
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Started Reading
June 6, 2024
– Shelved
June 12, 2024
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Lisa (NY)
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Jun 12, 2024 08:01PM
Excellent review. I’ve been curious about this novel and your review is very helpful.
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Thanks, Lisa. I figured I'd get beat up on this review, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em. (I rarely will finish anything less than 4 stars, but the writing was quite good so...)
Very helpful review, I was considering it, but I will definitely not pick it up now.
I don't recall her explaining why the child is referred to as "they/them." While you seem to assume it is to be "clever" and "modern" (performative?) I assumed that there was a backstory involving clues from the child. So many kids are nonbinary and it's nice to finally have books that actually mirror that reality and not even make a big deal about it. The narrator is unnamed, there is another character in the book who is named Claire.
Karen wrote: "I don't recall her explaining why the child is referred to as "they/them." While you seem to assume it is to be "clever" and "modern" (performative?) I assumed that there was a backstory involving ..."Karen, there are a couple of places in the book where the writer says things like, "How dare you place a gender on my child?" She began referring to the child as they/them right from the moment the child emerged. I understand that many kids are nonbinary and that's a different thing altogether. But this is not the case here. Here, a baby of a few hours old is referred to as they/them because the mother believes in a non-binary society. So I respectfully disagree that this book is "mirroring that reality". I think THIS book is about a mother who imposes her view of the world upon a baby who (odds would have it) is highly likely to be cisgender...and that's confusing for a toddler.
Hi there! It sounds like you don’t have any nonbinary or trans friends so please allow me to relieve some of your confusion. The parents would have referred to the child by the gender the child was assigned at birth — boy or girl. Then when the child let their parents know that they were nonbinary, they would have begun using the child’s true pronouns. At this point it would not be uncommon for the parents to also refer to the child of the past by their true pronouns as well.
The parents weren’t gendering the child at birth. The narrator was simply using the child’s proper pronouns when referring to them both in the present and the past.
Hope this helps.
Anna I actually do know some nonbinary people. I very much appreciate your non combative and cordial tone and know what you are saying is accurate. My comments refer specifically to the book. In the book, the child never presents as nonbinary. If they did, then it would be another thing entirely. But the mother determines her child will live in a post gender world and the child has no choice. If I missed something in the book, kindly refer me to the page and I will reconsider my review comments.
You sound like a driver!
Her name is not Claire. Claire is Davey's wife. The narrator is unnamed.
It is explicitly stated that the child is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns near the end of the book. I looked for the specific page, but couldn't find it. Maybe someone with a digital copy can.
Trans folks exist of all ages. You’re not ancient, just transphobic. Hope this helps!!!!
Anna wrote: "Trans folks exist of all ages. You’re not ancient, just transphobic. Hope this helps!!!!"Anna, I am very clear in my review what bothers me, and it's not that the baby is trans. The whole point is, a baby doesn't KNOW if it's trans and the mother makes that decision for the baby and decides her child should not be identified by gender. IF the child was giving signs of being trans, that would be a whole different story and I would have accepted it. Be careful about labeling people you don't know. And also, be careful about substituting your own views with what is presented in a book that may contradict what you want the book to say.
Gender is a construct, a decision. Biological sex is 1) a totally different thing and 2) far more complex than we can get into here.I'm incredibly confused how you can say "the child never presents as nonbinary". What does that even mean? I didn't read anything in this where the child scratches their balls while belching and saying they love trucks and titties... or whatever it might be that one could ascribe to presenting as their biological sex...
Referring to a child's neutrally allows them to navigate their identity with less of the social pressure of fulfilling social expectations. Some nonbinary people are trans. Some do not identify as trans - I don't, really, I just eschew labels.
Not trying to change anyone's mind here, whether you like the book doesn't affect me, but we all still have a lot to learn and unlearn as a society about the concept of gender, if we care about people.
There is a part in the middle of the book where the mother explains that her child came out and wanted to use they them pronouns. Also her name isn't Claire. I think this is just maybe an issue of skimming instead of actually reading the book.
h.e.a wrote: "Gender is a construct, a decision. Biological sex is 1) a totally different thing and 2) far more complex than we can get into here.I'm incredibly confused how you can say "the child never presen..."
You and I fundamentally disagree. I don't think gender is a construct or a decision. (For that matter, I don't think trans is "a decision" either). I can cite many references, but this isn't the time or place and I'm guessing, will lead nowhere. I wish you well with your life journey.
Jessie wrote: "There is a part in the middle of the book where the mother explains that her child came out and wanted to use they them pronouns. Also her name isn't Claire. I think this is just maybe an issue of ..."Please cite the page for me. I did read, not skim, and it seemed to me the mother, not the child, wanted to use "they/them" pronouns and made that decision at (or before) birth.
I’m about half way through and some of the same issues you mentioned are really distracting me from the story. I’m truly wondering - Do I finish it and hope it makes sense to me? Do I walk away because it does feel so modern-istic& woke like conflated? Still weighing that out - as I continue reading
Yep - I got a sample on Kindle - and that was enough. Yes I'd be happy to read about her female insights but the they/them for a 7 year-old just screamed Californian ! Sorry I'm British and 57 - post, post, post menopausal - I barely knew there was a perimenopause - I think that term became fashionable 10 years too late for me!
It took until nearly the END of the book before the protagonist mentioned that her child preferred they/them pronouns. I spent most of the book wondering if she was foisting her own agenda on her kid, or if they really identified that way.
Hi Jill - I just finished the book, and have found the passages you may have overlooked: 1. "And you have a child, right? A son?"
"They're nonbinary. They/them pronouns."
2. (of her child) "Every day they woke up and bravely lived according to who they actually were, not what already existed. They had parents who affirmed this, but they could probably already feel the ways in which we were less daring than our child - feel but not articulate."
Emmkay wrote: "Hi Jill - I just finished the book, and have found the passages you may have overlooked: 1. "And you have a child, right? A son?"
"They're nonbinary. They/them pronouns."
2. (of her child) "Ev..."
Thanks, Emmkay. That's helpful. Since it's been a while since I read the book, could you provide me with some insight? As I recall, the mother decided at birth that the child was nonbinary; in other words, it wasn't a choice he made, but a choice that was made for him. Did I overlook some lines where the child recognized and revealed that they were trans? If so, then I could have been a more careful reader and need to reexamine some of this review. Your answer would be so appreciated! (The person who commented before you said it wasn't until the end of the book that the mother says the child preferred they/them pronouns. If so, was that their preference...or the mother's?)
Jill wrote: "Emmkay wrote: "Hi Jill - I just finished the book, and have found the passages you may have overlooked: 1. "And you have a child, right? A son?"
"They're nonbinary. They/them pronouns."
2. (of..."
From the above I took it that the child was nonbinary and lived “according to who they actually were,” which didn’t suggest to me any imposition on the parent’s part. It’s not a central part of the book so not delved into in depth, but I thought that decentering it was an interesting and positive authorial choice, reflecting the fact that some people happen to be parents, friends, spouses etc of nonbinary people, and that this can be reflected in the backdrop of a book without it being turned into its focus.
Emmkay wrote: "Jill wrote: "Emmkay wrote: "Hi Jill - I just finished the book, and have found the passages you may have overlooked: 1. "And you have a child, right? A son?"
"They're nonbinary. They/them pronou..."
Thanks. I sure wish I could reach out to the author to learn her intention. You may indeed be right with your interpretation. I guess because of the character's overall opinions (marriage is bad, gender is bad, etc.) I could have formed an opinion contrary to what was intended. I'll add that I am a moderate Dem -- straight but with several LBGQT friends -- and was not trying to cast aspersions.
