Jaclyn Day's Reviews > Oddly Normal: One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality

Oddly Normal is one of the best parenting books I’ve read. Period. Schwartz’s account of his son’s childhood, coming out and struggles in school made for a memoir I won’t soon forget. It’s the perfect blend of professional research and personal anecdotes. Masterfully put together and intensely thought-provoking, the most memorable thing about this book is how Schwartz and his wife were unapologetic advocates for their son Joe. Whether it was in supporting his coming out to them or in defending him against overeager therapists or cruel teachers, you know this family is built on immense love and trust. There is palpable love and concern nearly bursting from each page, starting with Schwartz’s disclaimer at the beginning of the book that he worked closely with Joe in writing such a personal account.

In the hands of someone less competent (Schwartz is a correspondent at the New York Times), this book could have easily come off well-meaning but ultimately exploitative. There is such a fine line when revealing personal details about a child—especially in the case of a child that’s still young. Schwartz’s book is packed with information that Joe may have preferred left hidden in other circumstances (Schwartz discusses Joe’s attempted suicide, his struggle in coming out, his many therapy sessions and difficulties in school, etc.), but you get a sense that Joe has enormous trust in his parents and especially in his father. Placing such a story in the hands of your dad cannot have been an easy decision for him. Yet, the result is so fine a book and the content so beautifully conveyed that there is not a hint that Schwartz’s mismanaged his son’s story.

Schwartz is the parent every child would love to have—one that is free of judgment, fair in discipline and firm in the role of protector and advocate. He embraces Joe—all of him. Even so, Schwartz owns up to Joe’s academic shortcomings and discusses them liberally, but it never feels judgmental. That’s an important distinction. Schwartz admits when he and his wife make mistakes, but they don’t give up. They do more research and look for better solutions. They are wholly devoted to Joe and to their two other children and it’s incredibly moving to read about.

There are other things in this book that underline its importance as a modern parenting memoir. The insight about social interactions and bullying at schools is valuable and Schwartz’s discussion of his research about ADHD, Asperger’s and teen suicide/depression is interesting and enlightening. And, of course, the portions of the book about sexuality and especially about teen sexuality are honest, moving and educational. The lengths that Schwartz went to in order to back up his own family’s narrative with relevant research cannot be underestimated. Sometimes extensive research littered throughout memoirs can be distracting or frustrating, but here it provided important depth.

Oddly Normal was incredibly engaging and thought-provoking and I hope you take a moment to read it yourself. The last chapter is one of the most moving of any book I’ve read yet this year.