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Shelley's Reviews > Gone Girl
Gone Girl
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This book is such a steaming pile of shit for so many reasons and hands down the worst book I have ever read.
There is a huge cloud of smug over Gone Girl. This was such an unpleasant read that I started taking notes of all the ridiculous parts. It also didn't help matters that I figured out the ending before page 100.
There are lots and lots of f-bombs and swearing which says a lot since I cuss like a sailor. For me to pick up on that means it's excessive and adds nothing to the story. Then there's the issue with our characters. The husband is Captain Douchebag and the wife is beyond batshit crazy. The story of a missing wife gets so ridiculous and over the top that the ending could only be equally as absurd.
Things I absolutely loathed about the book:
using The Giving Tree as a verb
redneck stereotypes like catfish gigging with dry cat food
repeated mentions of having the emotional bends
repeated mentions of characters having a vaginal smell
page 67 where "Nick got home just after four, a bulb of beer and cigarettes and fried-egg odor attached to him, a placenta of stink."
the sister's name being Go
the book's smugness.
Had I not borrowed the book, I would have stabbed the shit out of it with scissors.
If you want to read a book about a miserable married couple, read Revolutionary Road. The writing is a million times better.
There is a huge cloud of smug over Gone Girl. This was such an unpleasant read that I started taking notes of all the ridiculous parts. It also didn't help matters that I figured out the ending before page 100.
There are lots and lots of f-bombs and swearing which says a lot since I cuss like a sailor. For me to pick up on that means it's excessive and adds nothing to the story. Then there's the issue with our characters. The husband is Captain Douchebag and the wife is beyond batshit crazy. The story of a missing wife gets so ridiculous and over the top that the ending could only be equally as absurd.
Things I absolutely loathed about the book:
using The Giving Tree as a verb
redneck stereotypes like catfish gigging with dry cat food
repeated mentions of having the emotional bends
repeated mentions of characters having a vaginal smell
page 67 where "Nick got home just after four, a bulb of beer and cigarettes and fried-egg odor attached to him, a placenta of stink."
the sister's name being Go
the book's smugness.
Had I not borrowed the book, I would have stabbed the shit out of it with scissors.
If you want to read a book about a miserable married couple, read Revolutionary Road. The writing is a million times better.
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Reading Progress
August 2, 2012
– Shelved
August 23, 2012
–
Started Reading
September 24, 2012
– Shelved as:
shit-sandwich
September 24, 2012
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 217 (217 new)
message 1:
by
Ann Marie
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rated it 1 star
Oct 03, 2012 11:01AM
Amen.
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well said. I could add at least a dozen more things I loathed about this book.
Thanks. It's validating to read other scathing reviews from others who didn't fell into the hype. This is one of those books that a year from now I will still be able to rant about. Do share the things you loathed too! I even thought about including a list of things I did instead of reading Gone Girl. Stuff like scrubbing toilets, cleaning out the fridge, re-caulking bathtubs. Chores that I normally despise yet found them more enjoyable than reading this book.
Seriously. It's time we will never get back. Why did I keep reading is the question I keep asking myself. If I had the book instead of my Kindle I would have shred and burned it. Glad there are other "haters" out there!
And, terrible loopholes in the end! My "goodreads" friend Lormac and I discussed several in our comments. Just a stupid book all around. Waste of valuable reading time.
I can't believe I forgot about the entire paragraph of euphemisms for jerking off!
So glad to see that I'm not alone in the dislike of this book. I forced myself to finish it, just in case the story got better. It didn't.
Hahaha, I had a checklist of things I found ridiculous on my review of the book. I completely missed the usage of The Giving Tree as a verb.
I actually liked The Giving Tree reference but I agree with everything else you said. What a yawner!!!
Love love love all you fellow Gone GIrl haters! The Giving Tree is one of those books that always puts me in a happy place and I felt emotionally usurped when this wannabe hipster turned it into a verb. Another beef with the book - Flynn forgot to give Mike Judge credit for her masturbatory euphemisms paragraph. She must have watched the Beavis and Butthead episode "They're Coming to Take Me Away".
I too have just joined the 'Gone Girl Loathers'. A small but growing band of sane readers, grounded enough to see this 'Emperors New Clothes' style dross for what it really is. The use of the name "Go" irritated the crap out of me, like you wouldn't believe. This book is beyond smug, and I imagine Flynn must be insufferably smug herself right now. We have to spread the truth people. We have to stop there ever being a Gone Again Girl, or a Gone Boy.
Let's give a big welcome to Kevin, the newest member of the Gone Girl Sucks Club! Emperor's New Clothes - spot on! I would be terrified to be friends with Flynn in real life. She would probably poison me and make it look like I intentionally put cyanide in a martini.
Spot on - she terrifies me too!
Oh man, your review is so cathartic. Nearly all of my GR friends love this stupid book. I really enjoy that you called 'Gone Girl' smug; it IS smug. The little "aren't I clever?" winks to the reader started to enrage me by page 40 or so. I made it 1/3 of the way through and then skimmed to see if it got any better. Nope, it managed to get worse. The plot was meh, the writing was just appalling.
This book was a combination of "War of the Roses" and "Fatal Attraction". I also hated how the narrator would point out her proper usage of grammar. Spare me!
Somewhere I picture Flynn giving all us haters the stink eye and calling us troglodytes. Haha Susan, I *love* Fatal Attraction! Glenn Close does batshit crazy to perfection. I think this book maybe wanted to be scary like that but turned out to be meh.
This thread is old but my rage is new as I just finished this blasted book. A more exasperating pile of drivel there never was, with "plot twists" visible from miles before and a tedious plodding self-satisfied narration inching laboriously to its navel-gazing end. The characters are so plastic and the whole damned thing so blazingly awful, I have to believe I'm missing something. There is some subtle meta meta commentary going on that I'm missing for my rage. If not, the book is criminal for needlessly slaughtering untold trees.And I'm relieved to be in your company. ;)
The negative reviews of this book are so much fun to read through. Fear not, Naomi. The comments may be from last year, but my rage is still fresh as a daisy. The only way the plot "twists" could be any more obvious is if they were shouted through a megaphone or over a PA system. The fact that I'm still steamed about this book almost a year later speaks volumes of it's awfulness.
Just think of how many more people will be gushing about the book once the movie is released. *shivers with fright* Gone Girl feels like the adult version of Twilight with its rabid fans who would push us loathers in front of a train just because we think the book sucks a big one.
Your mention of plastic characters makes me picture Nick and Amy as Barbie dolls, except they're the ones who didn't pass the quality control checks.
I am also afraid, very afraid, that when the movie comes out we'll have a whole new set of Gone Girl fans (and this time it will be the ones that don't read!). The nightmares are starting already. I thought it was bad working in a public library where a new patron discovers this book each week and just has to share with me how great it was. I shudder in horror, but smile politely as I inform them that I didn't care for it at all.
Beth wrote: "I am also afraid, very afraid, that when the movie comes out we'll have a whole new set of Gone Girl fans (and this time it will be the ones that don't read!). "That and the ones who carry the book around without reading it just to look cool. God help us all come October when this hits theaters.
Beth, I can only imagine what some of those books are! That's got to take some self control to not give them the look of death when they kvell over a rotten book.
Every time I see this book on store shelves, I either flip it backwards or hide it behind different titles in the fleeting hopes that it will prevent one person from reading it.
So happy to have found this thread. I thought I was the only person in the world that hated this pretentious book.
Shelley--I'm going to start doing that (flipping the book or hiding it at book stores)! I wish someone had saved me from that misery.
Huzzah, Margaret for flipping or hiding the book! If our one star rants prevent even one person from reading this, then mission accomplished. Every time I go to Target I do this, and sadly Target is the best place near me to buy books. Our Barnes and Noble sucks a big one.
Yeah. I hated it too. Can't wait for the film so I can not see it!! I just thought the whole thing was a sick attempt to make a woman look clever when she was just stupid and sick!! Still raging sorry. My grammar has left me!!
@Karen, never apologize for book rage that destroys proper grammar usage skills. Rumor has it that the movie has a different ending than the book, but I still refuse to see it. There are so many better ways of wasting $10. Aww, thanks Dominic! If it helps, I was planning on stabbing the shit out of the book like a raging lunatic. Something along the lines of a Mommy Dearest tantrum.
You bring up a great point. I never thought about how insulting and condescending it would be to real victims of DV or rape. It's kinda funny how extreme cases of book rage blind us to details like that.
I loved Revolutionary Road too--much more worthy of my time than this piece of crap.
Your thread is a success! I have been cured of the desire to see what all this hype is about.
Just started it. Finished Amy's first chapter. Hate the hipster persona.
Finished the book 5 minutes ago and immediately went in search of reviews that would validate my frustration. I am so glad that I found this thread if only to enjoy the relief that there are other people who also found the nickname "Go" grating against their nerves.It may seem like a good idea to compose a story with "surprises on every page" but this only gives the reader plot twist whiplash for a few chapters. After that it just becomes predictable. As I read this door-jam I found myself thinking, "this means absolutely nothing" which then caused me to think of the next plot twist that I guessed correctly about 85 percent of the time.
It held my interest....... Full of it's own crap
But I can only blame myself for continuing to read this waste of trees and ink.
I have to admit that I read this book mainly because the author shares my name (a rare thing to find).... It took me over a month to get through just the first half of the book. A month...for someone who read all three "Divergent" books in 5 days. I rather liked the twist to the middle but the ending just fell flat. I hated every character, I agree that there was way too much profanity used for such an intelligent woman to use in her writing, and I completely agree with other readers who found the entire paragraph of jack-off euphemisms entirely too much....here's to hoping I enjoy her other two books much more.
I kept swinging between loving & hating this book. In the end I decided I must've enjoyed it because I couldn't put it down. But the excessive uses of "c*nt" & the aforementioned "vaginal smell" was odd & unnecessary. For a start Amy didn't strike me as the kind of person who's swear much, never mind use the c-word.
ach, how could I forget the irritating trend of turning any old freaking noun into a verb? Thanks for reminding me.
Ach indeed. Enough with turning nouns into verbs. It might work in casual conversation where you don't care if it makes you sound like a moron, but in books not so much.
I don't understand how anyone with half a brain could like this book and some of my friends really enjoyed it and I KNOW they're smart people. What gives? My whole book club HATED this book. With a passion. The female protagonist was such a caricature of every negative cliche about women, that the women in my book club were OFFENDED that another woman could write such a pathetic excuse for a female. I'm still not sure how or why I finished it, I guess I kept hoping it would get better somehow? I tried reading one of her other books just to see if it was the particular story or the author herself. It's the author. Anyone who thought this book sucked is alright by me.
This is the worst book I have ever read!. I should never have kept reading. I did because, first, I was mad I spent money on it, and, second, I had heard it had a big surprise ending. Really??? That ending??? Hated it from the beginning and shame on me for finishing it. I will put more value on my time now, since I have to make up for time lost on this piece of crap!
I stayed up late last night to finish this book and now I'm enraged that I wasted my time on such a piece of crap! The level of psychosis is ridiculous. I feel gross having read it. I wish I could wash it out of my brain. It was on a list of "Books to Read Before the Movie Comes Out". And I have a rule for myself to always read the book before seeing the movie. I do think that a good movie could be made out of this movie if you changed the ending and tweaked a few characters to soften their personalities. Hopefully this happens.
I also think it's funny that Ben Affleck is Nick. He does that "douchey smile" thing.
But I will forever hate this book.
Thank god someone hated this book as much as me. Can you believe they are making a movie out of it?
And now not even grocery shopping is safe. As I'm in the checkout lane at the grocery store I see paperback copies next to the celebrity smut magazines. So naturally I made a comment and the cashier asked what caught my eye so I said only one of the worst books ever written. She then looks around and says oh my god I hated it too. Who knew I'd find another hater at the grocery checkout. As for the movie, I think Kanye West would be a better choice as Nick. At least he would more than supply enough doucheyness. What surprises me is that Shailene Woodley isn't Amy since she's in freaking everything. I cringe when I think of her as Hazel from The Fault In Our Stars...epic casting fail.
When I read and reviewed this book, it had a Goodreads rating over 4.0 (I think it was 4.2). Now it is rated at 3.93! Yay for the readers that hated this book and aren't afraid to say so!
I absolutely hated this book!!! Thanks to all you GG haters for articulating each and every one of my thoughts... And then some!However, what angers me the most is that I finished reading the f*****g piece of crap!!!! For some f*****d up reason I had to go to the end.
What's wrong with me!! I just don't understand why I put myself through that - the story was pathetic and the writing was atrocious - no talent!!!! I cannot believe well-read individuals loved this book!!!
I read this ages ago and it still evokes a horrible rage in me!!!
Go away Gone Girl!!!!!!
I love reading all the comments here from the rest of you haters! Welcome to the Gone Girl Haters Club, we have punch and pie.
I fell prey to the hype and picked up GG because all my friends raved about it. I haven't even given it a rating yet because I feel so icky after reading it. I'm still having trouble putting my thoughts into words. I read the book in two days thinking it would get better and I'd be surprised at all the "plot twists". Twists I predicted way in advance. This book was not what I expected. It made me snarl. Not a single like able character and really...THAT ending?!? Lame. Will have to write a full review when I can pull this altogether.
Hate this book!! If I didn't have this book on my kobo I would have chucked it into traffic.
Victoria, it does take some time to process all the anger and icky feelings. Until then, enjoy sounding like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons. The only reason why I finished it was because I thought it would get better too. Adonia, I'm cracking up at throwing the book into traffic. There are so many potholes that could be filled with a Gone Girl cement/asphalt mix.
Ahaha I'm happy you liked it Shelley! I'm so happy others hate this book. It took me a week to read when I have been reading about 3 to 4 a week. Super snore fest and the ending made me want to jab a pencil in my eye. It was just so unsatisfying.
I will join this club with just about as much anger as the original poster, this book is awful. It went up where it should have gone down. The twists were barely even turns. Every time I hear someone saying they loved this book I nearly punch them in the face. Two thumbs down for sure!
I'm not reading this book based on your review alone. Thanks a million for saving me from this monstrosity.
exactly, a steaming pile of shit
