Evelina | AvalinahsBooks's Reviews > The Buddhist on Death Row: How One Man Found Light in the Darkest Place

How I read this: borrowed through Bookmate subscription

This was one of the most honest Buddhist journey / progression stories I've read so far. It helped me loads with my own impostor syndrome - and the idea that if you're "for real", you can't have any setbacks, you can't have feelings and you can't be upset.

What makes it hard to be a Buddhist, especially in the West, is this idea that we have ingrained into our Western society - that if you're a Buddhist, basically you've got to be perfect. You can't have moods. You must be above all that. If you're not, well then, you're not for real! Well, the reality is very different, of course. But how many of us know that, and ACTUALLY know that? And how many of us constantly feel like we're only pretending, cause in reality, if we were ACTUALLY following the Dharma, we wouldn't be... Human. We'd be somehow better?

We so often like to imagine that as Buddhists, our path will be straight. That we will stay on it and never stray, not even on the bad days. (Sometimes we like to think there will be no bad days at all anymore, or if there are, we will ignore them..?) We think that meditation will bring us calm and bliss, and we will be filled with compassion at every injustice.

But guess what. We're people and there is no button to switch bad emotions off. As Buddhists, we're not supposed to 'not have' negative emotions. We're not supposed to 'dwell in bliss'. That's a lie and a very common misconception.

This book really stressed this for me. And it highlighted a real man's journey - one who couldn't 'focus on the positivity', cause there was none where he was. One who could not meditate on a lovely retreat with vegan meals surrounded by perfect nature. Because he couldn't even leave his tiny room. He went through calm as much as anger, and years into progressing through his journey, he experienced pain and anger - and this book TALKS about it. This book even talks about how meditation isn't supposed to just bring you bliss and calm. Meditation can bring you fear and anxiety. And it's not because you're doing it wrong. It's a lot to unpack, and it's something people don't like to talk about.

My point here is, I don't know, but it's like we never talk about our bad feelings. So when we practice and still feel them, we shove them under a rug. And then we feel guilty for them. We abandon our practices. We think, 'I must not be trying hard enough', or 'this isn't working out'.

There should be more books that talk about this journey like that - warts and all. If you have read any, please recommend! Meanwhile I can recommend this one whole-heartedly - and not only to Buddhists, but simply people who are struggling and want to find more peace and learn to live with themselves, whatever their circumstances.

Book Blog | Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter