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Skyler Autumn's Reviews > In the Dream House
In the Dream House
by
by
2 Stars
I don't usually review books that are about a survivor recounting their journey because I believe these stories should be told whether writing is something you are gifted at or not. That's why I never rated Chanel Miller's Know My Name because although there were flaws in style and presentation who am I to tell a survivor that they didn't do their own story justice. That being said although abuse in queer relationships are stories that need to be told. The fact of the matter is Carmen Maria Machado wrote this book like a professional 'I know my shit' writer. She did not tell her story in plain English she used fancy language and experimental techniques. She showed us she is a "proper" writer so if that's how she wants to tell her story then she is opening herself up to assholes like me that are going to review it.
I am clearly in the minority here when I say that I did not enjoy... feels like the wrong word. Let's say I just felt nothing for this memoir. No sympathy, no outrage, no freakin interest. There was so much fluffy writing and fancy metaphors that I had to drudge through to get to the actual story. By the time I got to the meat and bones of this abusive relationship I was so bored and spent by the reading journey. Taking readers in and out of her actual abusive relationship with flower-y imagery just made me as reader feel disconnected and a bit confused. How am I suppose to sit and feel this trauma the author faced when she keeps pulling me away from it. It was as if a friend was coming up to me being like "Hey this woman I'm dating spent the night screaming at me as I hid in the shower" and before I can really wrap my mind around that bomb my friend just dropped she goes, "Look at that flower isn't it beautiful, looks at the colours and what they symbolize." Thats distracting right? The impact of the first sentence kind of loses its weight. Now imagine that kind of whiplash in an entire novel.
Overall, this memoir felt like an essay that needed a shit ton of filler to make a novel. The dramatic ass words and weird little research snippets of old movies just felt like the author was really trying to stretch a 5 page novella. I wish this story could have been stripped down to its core so I could actually feel and understand the difficulty of being in an abusive queer relationship instead of feeling like my usual sociopathic self for not caring and being on the precipice of DNFing.
I don't usually review books that are about a survivor recounting their journey because I believe these stories should be told whether writing is something you are gifted at or not. That's why I never rated Chanel Miller's Know My Name because although there were flaws in style and presentation who am I to tell a survivor that they didn't do their own story justice. That being said although abuse in queer relationships are stories that need to be told. The fact of the matter is Carmen Maria Machado wrote this book like a professional 'I know my shit' writer. She did not tell her story in plain English she used fancy language and experimental techniques. She showed us she is a "proper" writer so if that's how she wants to tell her story then she is opening herself up to assholes like me that are going to review it.
I am clearly in the minority here when I say that I did not enjoy... feels like the wrong word. Let's say I just felt nothing for this memoir. No sympathy, no outrage, no freakin interest. There was so much fluffy writing and fancy metaphors that I had to drudge through to get to the actual story. By the time I got to the meat and bones of this abusive relationship I was so bored and spent by the reading journey. Taking readers in and out of her actual abusive relationship with flower-y imagery just made me as reader feel disconnected and a bit confused. How am I suppose to sit and feel this trauma the author faced when she keeps pulling me away from it. It was as if a friend was coming up to me being like "Hey this woman I'm dating spent the night screaming at me as I hid in the shower" and before I can really wrap my mind around that bomb my friend just dropped she goes, "Look at that flower isn't it beautiful, looks at the colours and what they symbolize." Thats distracting right? The impact of the first sentence kind of loses its weight. Now imagine that kind of whiplash in an entire novel.
Overall, this memoir felt like an essay that needed a shit ton of filler to make a novel. The dramatic ass words and weird little research snippets of old movies just felt like the author was really trying to stretch a 5 page novella. I wish this story could have been stripped down to its core so I could actually feel and understand the difficulty of being in an abusive queer relationship instead of feeling like my usual sociopathic self for not caring and being on the precipice of DNFing.
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Reading Progress
November 6, 2019
– Shelved
(Other Hardcover Edition)
November 6, 2019
– Shelved as:
to-read
(Other Hardcover Edition)
December 17, 2019
– Shelved as:
to-read
(Other Hardcover Edition)
April 8, 2020
–
Started Reading
April 8, 2020
– Shelved
April 9, 2020
– Shelved as:
not-worth-the-hype
April 9, 2020
–
Finished Reading
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rated it 1 star
Jun 11, 2020 07:44PM
Omg! You nailed my exact thoughts on this book! I was too frustrated with this book to come up with the time & effort to put into words what you did in your review. Bravo! You explained everything wrong with this book perfectly!
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D wrote: "Omg! You nailed my exact thoughts on this book! I was too frustrated with this book to come up with the time & effort to put into words what you did in your review. Bravo! You explained everything ..."Good to hear because we are definitely in the minority! This book has got crazy praise and I'm just looking around like what am I missing?
I felt the same and felt like I was wrong for not loving this book.
Lisa wrote: "I felt the same and felt like I was wrong for not loving this book."I know this book has so much hype I felt a little weird writing this review but it just didn't land for me and I don't get the love.
I had the same feelings as you when reading the first half, but I think the latter half was a lot better. I believe she distanced herself from well 'herself' to give the whole chapter of her life a closure. By saying, there was this woman who was in a an abusive relationship for two years takes away the self blame and doubt.Concise review though, the writing was a tad all over the place, but there were still some quotable parts. Especially enjoyed reading some of the articles she mentioned in the book. Have a great day, and stay safe.
Shout it from the rooftops I feel the same. You put into exact words how I was feeling. That feeling when you finish a hyped book and sit there asking yourself what other people clearly saw that you didn't.
Angel wrote: "I had the same feelings as you when reading the first half, but I think the latter half was a lot better. I believe she distanced herself from well 'herself' to give the whole chapter of her life a..."Glad you got something out of it. Stay safe xo
Tapsiederaffe wrote: "Shout it from the rooftops I feel the same. You put into exact words how I was feeling. That feeling when you finish a hyped book and sit there asking yourself what other people clearly saw that yo..."It happens a lot to me, it's actually rare when I agree with the hype. This book unfortunately was disappointing hopefully next one is better for you.
'How am I supposed to sit and face the author's trauma if she keeps pulling me away from it?'Just finished the book and your review expresses my thoughts.
I kept not being able to experience, empathize, or fully understand what Carmen went thru because all of the varied techniques she used pulled me away from the story. That drove me crazy. I kept thinking: This woman is smart, skilled, talented, what is her aim in writing this memoir this way? I haven't a clue. All I know is her abusive lover seems like a caricature and Carmen I never even begin to get to know. I didn't enjoy this one. It is a shame because I wanted to enjoy the read.
So I totally get where you are coming from. This is a writers book. Without sounding condescending this book is a dream for someone who went to school fir writing or poetry and understands the craft that went in to weaving this kind of work. It is not a straightforward story at all and is definitely not for everyone. But what you are seeing in the reviews and might be missing is this deep appreciation for form and structure that might not be appreciated by the average person. Anyway- I hope my response is helpful in understanding the disconnect here.
Anne wrote: "So I totally get where you are coming from. This is a writers book. Without sounding condescending this book is a dream for someone who went to school fir writing or poetry and understands the craf..."Preempting your condescending by saying "not to be condescending" is the equivalent of saying no offence before offending someone. It doesn't negate the fact you were pretty condescending.
I read 50 to 80 books a year, went to school for writing, and am working screenwriter. I am fully capable of forming an educated opinion on a book and so is the "average" (as you put it) person you seem to think you're above because you drank the kool-aid in whatever MFA program you came from.
I never asked for your help in understanding a "disconnect," I'm fully aware this book is being propped up by people terrified of not looking sophisticated. Which you proved by coming into my comment section acting like I'm a commoner that just can't fathom this level of brilliance. Not true, I'll give props when it's due, I'm just not afraid to say when the Emperor has no clothes on either.
Skyler, I so enjoyed your response. Brava!
Donna wrote: "Skyler, I so enjoyed your response. Brava!"Cheers lady : ) Glad to find someone else that doesn't understand the hype of this read.
Chanel Miller is drama queen of the highest order
Elvis wrote: "Chanel Miller is drama queen of the highest order"I think when I threatened suicide, the other day because they ran out of oat milk at my usual coffee shop, that was being a drama queen of the highest order. Someone being sexually assaulted and having a strong reaction to it, is just being human.
Couldn’t agree more! I felt more emotion reading your 3 paragraph review than that entire memoir.
You articulated exactly what I was feeling but couldn't seem to write down. I struggled to figure out what I didn't quite like about this memoir and everything you said resonates. Precisely the issue with this book.
This review is EXACTLY how I felt about this book. First, I want to say that CMM is an extremely gifted writer. The representation of stories that detail abuse in queer relationships is extremely needed. I so appreciated this book as a piece of high art writing, but I didn’t particularly enjoy it. I don’t need a book’s subject matter to be joyful to enjoy it; I’ve read plenty of much less than joyful novels that I still fully enjoyed. I found this style of writing a little too pretentious for my taste. I understand that the writer attended one of the most prestigious writing programs for her MFA (I did my undergrad at Iowa), and again, I appreciate her talent and her courage to share her story. I’m happy I read this, but it wasn’t particularly for me.
I didn’t understand what wasn’t resonating with me about Machado’s memoir until I read your review. So so on point.
I completely agree with you. I am about halfway done and I both like it and don't like it at the same time. I hate to say it, but the way she writes makes me feel like she is a bit of a snob in real life... Granted, I am reading AND listening to the audio book version of this title... and I find myself enjoying it MORE when I am reading it over listening to her. I personally do not like Mrs. Machado's tone and attitude. Nothing against her, just the feeling I get when listening to her speak.
Imagine not understanding that trauma survivors often create distance between themselves and what happened by using form or stylistic choices....imagine having that much difficulty accessing this work...this review reflects more on you than the book itself lmao
100% agree!!! I cannot believe all the good ratings this book has!
I share most of your opinions about this book, thanks for explaining it much better than I ever could!
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words! Perfectly said
I agree...I wish I had DNFed this one...I'm really sorry what she went through but this book was so pretentious and made no sense at all...I wish she had written some Horror fiction instead of this autobiography
Interesting take! I totally get where you're coming from. As someone brought up in an abusive household who went on to find my own abusive relationships, the style and tone actually rang so true to me! If your trauma response is total disociation, which mine was, the entire experience is quite literally "so yeah, they held a knife to my throat and were screaming...oh do you want a cup of tea? I got this lovely cake from the new Bakery, have you been? Its gorgeous, you must go. Did you you see those flowers outside? Aren't they stunning? Anyway, yeah he was screaming about wanting to kill me, it was crazy"So the way this was told felt so relatable to me and very genuine. You completely divorce yourself from the emotion of it all to survive so that definitely affects how your story is told. There's also an intense need to fund and acknowledge the beauty in small things. To find those small mundane things to be grateful for, to live for. Obviously this is just one kind of trauma response, but it completely encapsulated the strange distant, observational feelings I have regarding my own trauma.
If you feel nothing, why write a review? There’s a lotta lotta feeling in your discussion of the book.
THANK YOU, completely agree with everything you said
