☆ Mira ✷'s Reviews > A Conjuring of Light

SHADES OF MAGIC has taken over my life, and do I regret it? Uh here are the facts:

1) I now hate reading because no other book can compare (2 month reading slump *screams*)

2) Going off of that, no ship can compare to Kila (never thought the day would come when I renounced Kaz & Inej) so I guess I'll never again enjoy a romance!

3) I spend... a LOT of time mentally replaying scenes and imagining more. Bored in class? Standing in line? Cutting vegetables? Can't sleep? Doing literally anything that doesn't require my full attention? 99% chance I'm thinking about this goddamn series.

4) The amount of money I've spent on Schwabish things is just... I swear I don't have a problem, ok?!

Objectively, I should have ran when I had the chance, but subjectively, THANK YOU, VICTORIA, FOR THE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

And thank you for Lila Bard aka the badass boss ass bitch who rules this undeserving world. Pretending I'm Lila is the single best form of self esteem improvement. And whenever I hate someone or something, I just aggressively think, I hate you more than I hate people on the Internet who hate Lila and immediately feel vindicted. What a legend.

♔ Reflections 23 July 2018 ♔

1. My 2-week-long book hangover is still going strong. good thing school's out because I'd probably fail all my classes due to remembering that ending in the middle of every test

2. I hope that Kell and Lila are currently in a floating city halfway across the world and he's proposing to her with a diamond-encrusted dagger while Calla cheers them on (view spoiler)[from above (hide spoiler)].

3. I'm ready to declare my undying love for Holland Vosjk. I just want to hug him. (I ℒ♡ⓥℯ ㄚ♡ⓤ♥♥♥ ℉☻ℝℇṼℰℜ, my beloved Someday King) #justiceforholland

I'm still obsessed with how Holland got the arc of the millenium. His journey goes something like this: In book 1, he's a terrifying villain for whom I felt a scrap of pity. In book 2, he's once again an antagonist, but we're painfully aware that he was unfairly forced into that role. Finally, in book 3, he becomes a beautiful protagonist who everyone, past and present, uses as a punching bag.

And he made me feel the greatest range of emotions that any fictional character ever has, so let's honor his greatness by getting into some Literary Analysis, shall we? My PhD thesis is that Holland Vosjk has a heart of pure gold because his every autonomous action has been to improve other worlds; other lives. As a free young man, he joined Vortalis to restore virtue to White London. After inadvertently fucking everything up by bringing Osaron into the picture, he was willing to sacrifice himself in unimaginable ways to fix that mess. And there was that time he saved Lila's life without a second thought.

So first of all, Holland's flashbacks to his life with Vortalis show how much Holland really just wanted to make the world a better place. White London was a burnt-up wasteland of corruption, and Holland wanted to see it change. (view spoiler)[

Gorst–a mountain of a man who'd carved his way to the throne with an army at his back and turned the castle into fortress, the city into a slum... who pretended to care, who claimed he could resurrect the city even while he drained it dry.

And every week, King Gorst opened throats in the blood square... As if the spilling of their blood was proof of his devotion to his cause.

How many days had Holland stood at the edge of that square, and watched, and thought of cutting Gorst's throat?

Holland then joins Vortalis to take the throne. By violence, yes, but he feels nothing but horror and self-hatred for every single act of harm he inflicts on others. And what he wants–all he wants–is his dream of magic and peace reigning free in White London. (hide spoiler)]

Many years later in Holland's life, after he's been through hell, he straight up breaks the seventh seal of the apocalypse by awakening Osaron. Redeeming oneself for such a thing is difficult, I'd say, but Holland goes above and beyond to fix his mistakes. (view spoiler)[He is willing to let Kell perform a spell that will capture Osaron–and make him suffer in an eternal hell.

Kell flinched... as the realization dawned. "No... I could turn you to stone. It would be a kinder end."

"I'm not looking for kindness, Kell." Holland tilted his chin up, attention settling on the cell's high ceiling. "I'm looking to finish what I started."

It doesn't come to that, though, thank the saints. But for Plan B, which requires someone to lose their magical powers, Holland still designates himself as the target.

"Osaron is mine," said Holland... "I don't give a damn about your self-sacrificing notions, your need to be the hero. When the time comes for one of us to destroy that monster, it is going to be me..."

Holland met Kells' eyes, and beyond the words and the bravado, he saw something else in the man's gaze.

Mercy.

Kell's chest ached with relief as he said, "Thank you."

"For what?" said Holland coldly. "I'm not doing this for you."

Holland would put himself through any pain imaginable to save the worlds, without a single hesitation or any motive other than restoring peace. (hide spoiler)]

It's not just the worlds that he saves, though. (view spoiler)[It's also Lila's life. Lila–reckless, inconsiderate, irresponsible Lila–treats him with nothing but disgust, yet he values her life more than she likely does. This is painfully clear when he automatically rushes to heal her after she's stabbed through the chest by a vengeful pirate whose ship she ransacked on a bet. When Lila has the audacity to go off at him after that for killing Barron months ago when he was still under the Danes' command, he says one of his most memorable lines.

"Did you even hesitate before you killed him?"

"No... Because if I stopped I would think, and if I thought, I would remember, and if I remembered, I would–" He swallowed, the smallest rise in his throat. "No, I did not hesitate. I cut his throat, and added his death to the ones I count every day when I wake." His eyes hardened on her. "Now tell me, Delilah, how many lives have you ended? Do you know the number?"

...she didn't. [hardly surprising]

The excruciating guilt he feels for every single death he has invoked shows us that he is a teddy bear deep down. Holland says previously that "Death comes for us all", but you know what? That's the most mischaracterizing thing he could say because despite the fact that he never smiles, he's about as morbid as a sunbeam. (hide spoiler)]

I could go on for about 5 hours, but what I'm trying to say is, the gold-hearted Holland Vosjk simply wants to save the world, preserve everyone's lives, and redeem himself in any way he can for what sadists have forced him to do. My conclusion? Holland is a cinnamon roll. He fucking invented cinnamon rolls. Let's all be like Holland.

⋆★*:･ﾟ✧

♔ Review 8 July 2018 ♔

Shades of Magic has made me feel the greatest range of emotions I've ever experienced while reading.

Let me start by saying, Victoria Schwab better get her lawyer ready. Look, I know it will be hard for her to write books in prison, but I'm prosecuting her for ripping my heart out of my chest and throwing it in that creepy black river. After I finished this, I spent 5 minutes sobbing in my bed and another 5 drying my eyes and trying to convince myself the entire world didn't just end.

First of all, you know what is currently making my entire soul burst into a million pieces of light? Every single character got the arc of the century.

Kell, well, among other things, Kell stopped feeling the need to be a goddamned martyr, which is always a good thing. Lila made peace with her urge to always run away rather than accept attachment to those she loves. Rhy realized that he is truly alive, has always been, and deserves to be. Emira and Maxim realized how much Kell means to them and how much agency Rhy actually has, and then they heart-rippingly sacrificed everything for their sons (plural). Alucard returned to London and finally told Rhy the truth he deserves (on that note, Alucard's father deserves to get his heart torn out, so I'll be the one to make him read this trilogy). And Holland Holland Holland I'm sorry I can't function enough to even begin describing his arc ;_;

I could go on for another hour about the character development, but what I'm trying to say is that every character is 3-dimensional, maybe 4 or 5-dimensional if I'm being real. They jump off the page so thoroughly, I'm afraid they'll actually come and kill me in my sleep.

⋆★*:･ﾟ✧

The plot was pretty epic. I can't say I loved the execution of the antagonist or cared about the major conflict as much as I did in books 1 and 2, but it was still amazing. I'm in awe of the sheer amount of shit that went down.

My heart was going at a rate of approximately 150 bpm for the whole book and, I don't know, about to jump out of my ribcage and crash on the floor for the last hundred pages. I felt more alive reading it at 2 in the morning than I do while skateboarding down hills. Seriously, I slept about 10 hours this whole weekend compared to my usual 20 because of Victoria Schwab and I'm on a high.

Even though I swear I'm capable of dealing with life without knowing the relationship status of fictional characters, let me just say: KELL AND LILA ARE MY FAVORITE COUPLE EVER.

*takes deep breath*

In book 1, the romance was excruciatingly light, and in book 2, Victoria turned into the diabolical spawn of Voldemort and made me wait over 400 pages for them to make eye contact. So I was terrified that there wouldn't be enough romantic moments in this one to satisfy my desperate urge to see them being the loves of each other's lives.

Well, I did NOT need to worry: Although they are few and far between, the scenes involving Lila and Kell being the best OTP were wonderful. The emotional connection is beautiful and the tension is real. I need to dunk my head in a bucket of ice water every time I remember the sex scene.

You know, I genuinely thought it was actually anoshe for Lila and Kell right before the end, and I... I... I lost my breath to gasping sobs. But no, luckily I can deal with my book hangover by (view spoiler)[imagining what sort of pirate adventures they're getting up to (hide spoiler)].

This series is the most quotable stuff ever, kinda like Six of Crows like that, so here's a tiny fraction of my favorites:

Lila telling it like it is:

She tilted her head when she spoke, shifting her dark hair so it framed her shattered eye. In that single defiant gesture, Rhy could see why Kell liked her so.

"Why?" she echoed. "Because the shadows can't touch me, and the fallen won't. Because I'm good with magic, and better with a blade, and I've got more power in my blood than you've got in this whole damned palace. Because I've got no qualms about killing, and on top of it all, I've got a knack for keeping your sons–both of them–alive."

If Kell had been there, he would have turned white.

As it was, the king nearly went purple.

Alucard making the real threats:

"Try anything..." he growled.

"And you'll kill me?" finished Holland drily.

"No," said Alucard with a vicious smile. "I'll let Bard have you."

The reason why tears were falling down my face at 2 am:

One by one, Athos and Astrid paraded the remains of Vor's life before Holland, instructing him again and again to cut their throats. Every time, he tried to fight the order. Every time, he failed. Every time, he had to look them in their eyes and see the hatred, the betrayal, the anguished confusion before he cut them down.

The bodies piled. Athos watched. Astrid grinned.

Holland's hand moved on its own puppet string.

And his mind screamed until it finally lost its voice. [if I didn't love Victoria so much I'd hate her for this]

Rhy's personal arc of the century:

"But ask me in the afternoon," cut in Rhy, "when I've felt the sun cutting through the cold, or the warmth of Alucard's smile, or the steady weight of your arm around my shoulders, and I would tell you it was worth it. It is worth it."

Kell showing that he's actually a cinnamon roll:

She was a thief, a runaway, a pirate, a magician.

She was fierce, and powerful, and terrifying.

She was still a mystery.

And he loved her.

⋆★*:･ﾟ✧

asdlgnwoegnoru someone give me pirate fantasy recommendations so that I can maybe survive this book hangover