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Lisa's Reviews > The Cement Garden
The Cement Garden
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Recipe for a lightweight Cement Cake à la McEwan
Take Lord of the Flies, and mix it carefully with Flowers in the Attic. Once you see that the ingredients have formed a foamy, light and creamy texture, with the young characters wiped out in generic sweet-sour blandness, you put the cake in the oven, and wait for sixty minutes, just enough time to read through the novel.
Once the plot has been baked, you make sure to add incredibility and incest as additional spices, end it in an predictably wannabe-hot, but actually rather lukewarm decorative sexual shock icing on the cake.
Put the cement cake on the Bake-Off table and be assured it will win prizes for the categories:
Indulging in sinful calory counting
Word Baking Fast Food Style
Effectful Surface and Texture
Easy on the Digestive System
Meaningless Pleasure
Sweet with a Bitter Aftertaste
It may not win the first prize, as it causes slight nausea afterwards, and it contains too many nuts and unnecessary ingredients. But on the whole, it is a light meal for lazy summer days, and is particularly tasty with an alcoholic beverage of your preference!
Take Lord of the Flies, and mix it carefully with Flowers in the Attic. Once you see that the ingredients have formed a foamy, light and creamy texture, with the young characters wiped out in generic sweet-sour blandness, you put the cake in the oven, and wait for sixty minutes, just enough time to read through the novel.
Once the plot has been baked, you make sure to add incredibility and incest as additional spices, end it in an predictably wannabe-hot, but actually rather lukewarm decorative sexual shock icing on the cake.
Put the cement cake on the Bake-Off table and be assured it will win prizes for the categories:
Indulging in sinful calory counting
Word Baking Fast Food Style
Effectful Surface and Texture
Easy on the Digestive System
Meaningless Pleasure
Sweet with a Bitter Aftertaste
It may not win the first prize, as it causes slight nausea afterwards, and it contains too many nuts and unnecessary ingredients. But on the whole, it is a light meal for lazy summer days, and is particularly tasty with an alcoholic beverage of your preference!
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Reading Progress
Started Reading
June 27, 2018
– Shelved
June 27, 2018
– Shelved as:
1001-books-to-read-before-you-die
June 27, 2018
–
Finished Reading
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by
Ilse
(new)
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rated it 4 stars
Jun 27, 2018 01:42AM
I thought this one of the tastier cakes of McEwan, Lisa - a good companion for a short train journey - but as not having read the novels you mention for ingredients, I didn't notice how was it made - in some cases one can be glad not to know :).
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Ilse wrote: "I thought this one of the tastier cakes of McEwan, Lisa - a good companion for a short train journey - but as not having read the novels you mention for ingredients, I didn't notice how was it made..."Like a sausage, Ilse! Something you eat in a hurry, not asking to know exactly what it is made of:-) On the other hand, occasional fast food is "mostly harmless", like our planet according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Love the metaphors - but I think this cake would give me a bad case of indigestion 😝
I have yet to be convinced by McEwan, although haven't read 'Atonement', which is regarded as one of his better books,
Anne HS wrote: "Love the metaphors - but I think this cake would give me a bad case of indigestion 😝"It is a light diet, Anne - as usual with McEwan.
Steven wrote: "I have yet to be convinced by McEwan, although haven't read 'Atonement', which is regarded as one of his better books,"Atonment is among the ones I prefer, Steven, but McEwan isas close to McDonalds as I ever get, figuratively speaking. He's very shallow and unfocused. Not an author to prioritise at all. Airplane read.
Thanks for the recipe Lisa. Unfortunately, the dish seems to be almost totally lacking in any ingredients falling into the four food groups that are laid out in 'Canada's Food Guide'. I shall not be indulging.
RK-ique wrote: "Thanks for the recipe Lisa. Unfortunately, the dish seems to be almost totally lacking in any ingredients falling into the four food groups that are laid out in 'Canada's Food Guide'. I shall not b..."I would never RECOMMEND McEwan, as he inevitably disappoints me. Surprisingly, as I should know what I get into after a dozen of his novels...
I believe that I read ‘Amsterdam’ some years ago but was left with a mild indigestion. Similar sensation as drinking a Guinness beer. Swore off both.
RK-ique wrote: "I believe that I read ‘Amsterdam’ some years ago but was left with a mild indigestion. Similar sensation as drinking a Guinness beer. Swore off both."You've got a better character, RK-ique! I swear off badly cooked books over and over, and before I know it, I gobble down another one. The indigestion inevitably follows.
Lisa wrote: "I would never RECOMMEND McEwan, as he inevitably disappoints me. Surprisingly, as I should know what I get into after a dozen of his novels..."Same here - I've sworn off him so many times. Yet nearly every time a new book appears, I eventually give in and read it. That's partly because his books get mentioned in the media more often than any other contemporary writer, partly because I'm waiting for him to write a book that I will love. I still think he can...
I appreciated that McEwan more than you, Lisa, but overall agree with your estimation of his oeuvre. But nonetheless I still read him. That's a puzzle. He's a good writer, very skilfull in my opinion and I believe he could positively suprise me yet.
Fionnuala wrote: "Lisa wrote: "I would never RECOMMEND McEwan, as he inevitably disappoints me. Surprisingly, as I should know what I get into after a dozen of his novels..."Same here - I've sworn off him so many ..."
So he is a true prophet of hope it seems...
Agnieszka wrote: "I appreciated that McEwan more than you, Lisa, but overall agree with your estimation of his oeuvre. But nonetheless I still read him. That's a puzzle. He's a good writer, very skilfull in my opini..."He's a mystery! We're all disappointed over and over, and yet never enough fed up to actually stop reading him!
Heh Lisa, maybe this is the kind of book one can take on a beach day to read with a refreshing cocktail while listening to the waves crashing on the shore!
Das einzige Buch von McEwan, das ich garnicht mag. Aber es ist lange her und vielleicht müsste ich es wieder lesen.
Lisa, your review is a classic. Thank you.
Dolors wrote: "Heh Lisa, maybe this is the kind of book one can take on a beach day to read with a refreshing cocktail while listening to the waves crashing on the shore!"That is exactly what I did. Otherwise I would have trashed it probably ;-) McEwan is the kind of author whose books must be full of sand and slightly wavy from water.
Lightweight? Your review was clever and fun, but I wouldn't class the subject matter as light!
Cecily wrote: "Lightweight? Your review was clever and fun, but I wouldn't class the subject matter as light!"
Well, I agree with you. Hence the oxymoronic lightweight cement cake. My general disappointment in McEwan always ends up being that he destroys serious matters and good material by bizarrely shallow presentation and characterisation. His aim seems to be to shock an already numb audience, and I can't help looking for deeper analysis each time, only to find his work lightweight in its execution. Heavy ingredients baked fluffily.
Steffi wrote: "Das einzige Buch von McEwan, das ich garnicht mag. Aber es ist lange her und vielleicht müsste ich es wieder lesen."Nee - lass mal. Einmal reicht!
Dan wrote: "Lisa, your review is a classic. Thank you."Thank you, Dan!
I love your gastrointestinal review, Lisa. So original! I love McEwan, need to revisit him soon.
Robin wrote: "I love your gastrointestinal review, Lisa. So original! I love McEwan, need to revisit him soon."Make sure to have a digestive after the meal, Robin! Thanks :-)
Grace wrote: "Fab review!"Thanks :-)
