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Paul Bryant's Reviews > The Son
The Son
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It was clear the book had been read up to page 149 – crumbs between the pages, the occasional squashed insect – but after page 150 the rest of the book was pristine, the spine was uncreased.
We got a reasonable set of prints from the cover and ran them though the database of usual suspects. We got an immediate hit – they belonged to Paul Bryant, who we knew from a lot of smart aleck stuff on Goodreads.
We picked him up at 11.30 am on Tuesday hanging around Waterstones. He didn’t give us any trouble. We took him downtown and put him in the box, read him his rights. He didn’t want a lawyer. That was nice. We don’t like lawyers much.
He wanted to know why he was there so we explained. We said that we don’t like book reviewers who don’t finish books they review. 149 pages out of 645 is like nothing. He said it’s not nothing it’s 23%. We asked him not to get lippy and explained that we could cuff him if he would like us to. We explained that we don’t think reviewers have any right to have an opinion on something they haven’t read.
He said that in this particular case he had no grudge against the book, unlike many he had previously abandoned. (The records show this guy is a serial abandoner.) He said that he would be very happy to watch the Scandinavian Noir miniseries they will surely make of this book. But he said that whereas on screen the clunky crime clichés of modern thrillers are often successfully sidestepped by the delicious playing of the actors – say, Sophie Grabol as Sarah Lund or Sofia Helin as Saga Noren - on the page they just lie there and die there. So you get lines like
Are you telling me that you allowed yourself to be outwitted, Goldsrud? How far did he get?
We said that when you read a Joe Nesbo book you aren’t expecting William Faulkner. He said that all due respect he knew that but even so.
We issued him with an official warning – stop trying to be popular, stick to your fancy arse Don DeLillos and Cormac McCarthys. You know what’s best for you. Also, finish your books. Next time we won’t be wearing kid gloves.
He said that line could have come right out of The Son. That’s when he had the minor accident, a report of which has already been filed.
We got a reasonable set of prints from the cover and ran them though the database of usual suspects. We got an immediate hit – they belonged to Paul Bryant, who we knew from a lot of smart aleck stuff on Goodreads.
We picked him up at 11.30 am on Tuesday hanging around Waterstones. He didn’t give us any trouble. We took him downtown and put him in the box, read him his rights. He didn’t want a lawyer. That was nice. We don’t like lawyers much.
He wanted to know why he was there so we explained. We said that we don’t like book reviewers who don’t finish books they review. 149 pages out of 645 is like nothing. He said it’s not nothing it’s 23%. We asked him not to get lippy and explained that we could cuff him if he would like us to. We explained that we don’t think reviewers have any right to have an opinion on something they haven’t read.
He said that in this particular case he had no grudge against the book, unlike many he had previously abandoned. (The records show this guy is a serial abandoner.) He said that he would be very happy to watch the Scandinavian Noir miniseries they will surely make of this book. But he said that whereas on screen the clunky crime clichés of modern thrillers are often successfully sidestepped by the delicious playing of the actors – say, Sophie Grabol as Sarah Lund or Sofia Helin as Saga Noren - on the page they just lie there and die there. So you get lines like
Are you telling me that you allowed yourself to be outwitted, Goldsrud? How far did he get?
We said that when you read a Joe Nesbo book you aren’t expecting William Faulkner. He said that all due respect he knew that but even so.
We issued him with an official warning – stop trying to be popular, stick to your fancy arse Don DeLillos and Cormac McCarthys. You know what’s best for you. Also, finish your books. Next time we won’t be wearing kid gloves.
He said that line could have come right out of The Son. That’s when he had the minor accident, a report of which has already been filed.
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Reading Progress
January 23, 2015
– Shelved as:
to-read-novels
January 23, 2015
– Shelved
October 23, 2016
–
Started Reading
October 25, 2016
– Shelved as:
abandoned
October 25, 2016
– Shelved as:
novels
October 25, 2016
– Shelved as:
crime-grime
October 25, 2016
–
Finished Reading
May 6, 2021
– Shelved as:
scandilit
Comments Showing 1-50 of 51 (51 new)
message 1:
by
Lulufrances
(new)
Oct 25, 2016 11:39AM
you are hands down my fav reviewer. ugh!
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Could be a case of mistaken identity and you need to instead track down The Son by Philipp Meyer.
Great review!Get well soon you cereal abandon-doner....
Someone send out the GR search party...;)
A very entertaining "review".
I LOL'd....If you're not getting paid to do this somewhere, somehow, you definitely should : D
just read the write up - and realised the Jo Nesbo, Lynda La Plante and Martina Cole are all the same person. Could have knocked me down with a feather. In Norsk. Whoever writes some of these synopses should be.....given lines!
Paul, Paul, Paul. I already know mysteries ain't your cup of tea, so when you make an exception you pick something that clocks in at 645 pages?? My dear boy, most mysteries won't hit 400 pages, just saying. Deborah: and realised the Jo Nesbo, Lynda La Plante and Martina Cole are all the same person.
I have to say I'm skeptical that it was Jo Nesbo who created Jane Tennison. But then I've been wrong before..
Mysteries - if by that you include crime fiction - are my cup of tea, being a big fan of Richard Price, to name but one.
Huh, I was sure I remembered comments on some review or other that indicated otherwise, but maybe that was more narrowly regarding whodunit aspects of certain types of mysteries. Nevermind, I stand corrected.
While we're on the subject of Scandinavian drama (which we kind of weren't but never mind) I earnestly recommend Borgen - excellent and very detailed political stuff which gets you completely hooked. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1526318/
Sidse Babette Knudsen (these names are killers) is utterly captivating as the prime minister of a dodgy coalition.
Oh right, I've heard about Borgen, but haven't seen it. Thanks for the tip, I'll add it to the mental list of shows to check out, you know, someday.
Have not read this book but Paul Bryant typically has weird tastes. He claims to be a know it all, but I guess taste is a personal thing.
Kaushal wrote: "Have not read this book but Paul Bryant typically has weird tastes. He claims to be a know it all, but I guess taste is a personal thing."FWIW, he's only ever claimed to be a know-a-bit....
I think I might come across as a know-it-all, which is unfortunate, but I don't claim to be one. It's a fine distinction but a real one. I do claim to be a know-a-bit.
From the sounds of the writing in this book, I'm surprised you made it to page 149. I don't think I would have. I do agree with serial book abandoning when it's merited. No shame here.
thanks - it's still an uneasy thing, albeit a great relief, to abandon - I used to think that you should finish every book you start.
Have never read a review like this before! It's honest,fun loving and slightly left of centre!! Brill! It pains me to abandon a book, especially the paperbacks which I treat myself to now and again,but at this stage in my life,I believe it's soul destroying to waste hours of your life on a book that's boring you,is poorly written and just doesn't float your boat.
So yes,I'm putting my hands up and admitting I've abandoned a few in the past,but have no regrets!
thanks Mary - abandoners unite, you have nothing to lose but your precious time.
Falling off of the sofa, laughing, at your "know-a-bit" wit!
I noticed a difference in the readability between this and the Harry Holes series. Different translators. Maybe that's the real crime...
Thank you for your Parody list, which led me here! Love your reviews, parody or not, and this one is tops. Thought you'd enjoy this review of the movie, which came out here (Minneapolis) last week. Matches the tone of your book review :) http://www.startribune.com/the-abomin...
thanks, that's a terrific bad review, I really enjoyed it, but then ouch, I saw this bad movie was directed by Tomas Alfredson who made one of my all time horror favourites Let the Right One In.... to quote Donald Trump - sad.
Paul wrote: "thanks, that's a terrific bad review, I really enjoyed it, but then ouch, I saw this bad movie was directed by Tomas Alfredson who made one of my all time horror favourites Let the Right One In......."Right?! I also liked his Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Thanks for the Borgen rec, it's available from my library.
You tell 'em - hey, this internet domain is partially in the USA so you have a right to say what you want!! I actually didn't know about the Real Internet Police until this DNF review... lol
Your review was brilliant. Now I’m going to have to follow you. That said, I’m loving this book so far (pg 161)
thanks Carolyn - that was a fun one to write.
Hahaha! I didn’t hate the book, even though his Harry Hole books are miles better, and I did finish it, even though I was mildly bored and it took until I was 75% done before all the loose ends came together and it got really exciting. But this is probably the funniest review I’ve ever read, so thanks for that! XD
This novel is rated 4.6 on GR. Huge. I don't get this guy at all and have no inclination to make another dive into the Jo Nesbo pool.
Life is too short to finish books you don’t like.
but some readers think it's a big sin not to. And a bigger one to review half-read books.
Do you know how many years it took me to teach myself it was okay to not finish a book even if I never told anyone? You have set me back ages in my self therapy.
well, I am very sorry about that!
Oh, I do not think you are. I will just keep reminding myself of that stupid book about Joan of Arc I got when I was 7. It was beyond my skill level but I tried to read it repeatedly for three years before I gave up on it. I found it again when I was in high school and did read it. It was poorly written and boring.My 7 year old self was wise.
I read the book for easy entertainment. I am glad I did if only, because it led me to the wittiest most creative reviews I have ever read! Bravo!
Won’t let me edit my comment. Sorry for the errors.
Hilarious review! If indeed you could call it that??
Well, in my world it's a review. Some people might just seek to disagree. Thanks Carol Anne!
I’m in desperate need of your reviews. They’re hilarious and completely out there. Exactly what I’m looking for in a book. Can’t find that in the books, had to come to Paul’s reviews on GRs for serious discussion and hilarious commentary. Thank you, Paul. Again!
you're welcome Tess... good news is, there's hundreds of 'em !
