Wow. That was harsh. No, worse than harsh, that was brutal. I am wretched, shattered, ausgespielt even. Have to give credit to the Germans for such an Wow. That was harsh. No, worse than harsh, that was brutal. I am wretched, shattered, ausgespielt even. Have to give credit to the Germans for such an onomatopoeic word for how this feels. Yay, Germans.
It’s 4:30 am, I’m on my 5th cup of coffee and trying to counteract the caffeine shakes with graham crackers, my eyes are bleary, words blurring, my jaw is clenched, throat sore and there’s a hollow space above my rib cage, I think that’s my soul.
Wow. I did not think that this was going to be like this. I thought what a sort of lovely fairy tale; my fellow goodreaders have recommended it, why not. But this, this was like a story your mom might tell you as you curl into her lap, feeling all safe and sound wrapped in a Grimm Brother’s morality lesson, then drenched in a Thomas Hardy tragedy.
Now that I’ve set the mood, let’s talk.
“The earth’s lungs, coated in green ooze and thaw, breathed out blossom-scent and sour rot and fungus-must, wet and warm and aware, where before the air had been cold and blind, remote as the moon.”
Exactly.
Life can be cold and blind. We all have our grievances, our wrongs, some are trivial, some truly heinous, but the emotion is there nonetheless (is that too many commas in one sentence? Whatever. Carry on.) I am not going to tell you the plot, but I’m going to relate my feelings about the events and do with it what you will, this is MY space.
I totally get the feeling of wanting to escape. The pain is too much, the work is too hard, the results are too little. I cannot blame Liga for wanting to create her own heart’s desire, her version of heaven and wanting to stay in that zone and raise her daughters free from all the harm that befell her. Yes, I say, BRING ON THE SHEEP FARM FROM BABE (without all the heavy like farm work, of course). Liga was totally screwed. Good for her. Let the boring safe life prevail. Score one for Team Liga.
And yet…. It can’t last. Right? The pumpkin returns, the apple is eaten, Heathcliff is actually an asshole. ‘There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.’ –Sorry Shel, we aren’t even worthy of that.
Yes, we have happy times but they are almost always dwarfed by misfortune. This book will give you so many great starts that will just devastate you. And this is why I love it. It’s real. It’s got magical worlds, and sorcery and true love and then it just tears you a new one.
“Now you are in the true world, and a great deal more is required of you. Here you must befriend real wolves, and lure real birds down from the sky. Here you must endure real people around you, and we are not uniformly kind; we are damaged and impulsive, each in our own way. It is harder. It is not safe. But it is what you were born to.”
Suck that. You know what really gets me? The give and take. It’s never equal is it? I might be speaking from not such a great place and who knows, next week I might be bitch slapping myself for writing this, but yeah, I feel like I’ve been dealt a crappy hand. I have wonderful children, I have daily laughs, not always the belly type, but still good moments, but it’s a constant struggle and why is that? Why can’t we sometimes just get a break, you know?
Liga, I get it. I wish to be your conduit. I wish to take all the injustices dealt to you and let you be truly happy. Don’t be happy for someone else, there’s a time and a place for that, I know.. but just for you. The last line of the book kills me because it just seems so unfair:
“They all looked to Liga, seated by the window with her face to the light, to the faint midsummer air, which moved the tendrils of hair at her temples. She turned and slightly smiled at them all, and titled her head most graciously, accepting the witch’s, and the woolman’s compliments, and her daughters’ pleasure in them, as no more than she deserved.”
Now I lay me down to sleep. I hope to hell my soul keeps. Because, if I shake off this mortal coil before I wake, I’m going to be mighty pissed that tNow I lay me down to sleep. I hope to hell my soul keeps. Because, if I shake off this mortal coil before I wake, I’m going to be mighty pissed that this was the last book that I freaking finished. This is not my legacy.
I can play all Britney and Oops-I-did-it-again, I could use the old adage ‘Fool me once, shame on you….’ Or I could let my horribly low self worth tell you that yes, I am an idiot and could be classified with all those soccer moms wanting an escape with shiny vampires and fallen angels. You choose.
BUT. I will admit… fully admit… that this book sucked donkey balls. Seriously.
Character Profiles: Christian: He’s uber rich, he’s got unruly dark copper-colored hair and intense bright gray eyes. Trust me on this, she mentions it about every 3 pages. He’s also really freaking hot. (her words) He’s also long fingered. I think that comes in handy (heh) later on. He’s got a wounded past that he will not share, he doesn’t like to be touched and he’s extremely jealous. (YAWN) oh. And “Michelangelo’s David has nothing on him.”
Anastasia: (Please, Anastasia? Barf.) She thinks she’s a Plain Jane but she’s gorgeous, she’s never been kissed or anything else and she’s like 22, she is clearly psychotic as she has an ‘inner goddess’ and a ‘subconscious’ that flit around and judge and cower and personally I would like to beat with any of Christian’s implements of pain. She’s a book nerd (I take offense to this) who reads the classics and Tess of the D’Urbervilles is her favorite book (surprise surprise) Her muscles deliciously clench a lot too, she should have that looked at. I think she is even more annoying than Bella. Yes, I did indeed say that.
Usually I can lose myself in the plot and ignore the horrible writing, oh no no, not this time. Maybe because um… IT’S THE SAME LINES from all those previously hyped books! Ok, maybe a tweak here or there, but c’mon… how DUMB desperate do you really think we are?
“Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers.
“It’s wrong. It’s not safe. I’m dangerous, Bella — please, grasp that.” Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.190
“You know it’s really not fair.” I glace down at the formica tabletop, tracing a pattern on it with my index finger, trying to sound nonchalant. “What’s not fair?” “How you disarm people. Women. Me.” “Do I disarm you?” I snort. “All the time.” (Page 458: Location 9546)
(AHEM)
“You really shouldn't do that to people," I criticized. "It's hardly fair." "Do what?" "Dazzle them like that - She's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now." He seemed confused. "Oh, come on," I said dubiously." You have to know the effect you have on people." He tilted his head to one side, his eyes were curious. " I dazzle people?" "You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?" He ignored my questions. " Do I dazzle you?" "Frequently," I admitted.”
Yeah, I don’t normally do images, but: [image]
I will also point out that Ms. James is BFF with Thesaurus.com: Profligate, mercurial, epistle, verbose, loquacious, castigate, conscupiscent, largesse, frisson… ay yi yi… yet she has lines like this: “I have never felt as alive as I do now. It’s a thrill to be sitting here beside him. He’s so unpredictable, sexy, smart, and funny. But his moods… oh—and he wants to hurt me.”
“He’s got right under my skin….literally. He smiles and his eyes light up.”
“I melt against him, and my breathing stops as my insides unfurl with longing.”
“My scalp prickles as adrenaline and fury lance through my body, all my worst fears realized.”
“I gape at him, thinking about his tongue on his palate. Hmm, his expert tongue.”
“Anticipation runs bubbling like soda through my veins.”
No, I am not making this up. If this is really what women of my generation are turning to then I need to start some kick ass bitch slapping. If you need BDSM, read the The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. If you need romance, read Outlander or The Bronze Horseman But, please… for the sake of books everywhere. Stop.
“Laurie Sanders sat in the publications office at Gordon High School chewing on the end of a Bic pen. She was a pretty girl with short light-brown hai“Laurie Sanders sat in the publications office at Gordon High School chewing on the end of a Bic pen. She was a pretty girl with short light-brown hair and an almost perpetual smile that only disappeared when she was upset or chewing on Bic pens. Lately she’d been chewing on a lot of pens. In fact, there wasn’t a single pen or pencil in her pocketbook that wasn’t worn down on the butt end from nervous gnawing. Still, it beat smoking. “
Thus begins The Wave.
Can we break apart that paragraph, please?
'Laurie Sanders (seriously WASPY name there) sat in the publications office at Gordon High School (seriously WASPY school there) chewing on the end of a Bic (isn’t this a trademark or a registered item or something??) pen.'
'She was a pretty girl (thanks, we needed that knowledge) with short light-brown hair and an almost perpetual (BIG word ) smile that only disappeared when she was upset or chewing on Bic pens.' (-------) Here is the 1981 Made- for –TV- movie version of Laurie
'Lately she’d been chewing on a lot of pens.' (!!!!!!!!)
'In fact, there wasn’t a single pen or pencil in her pocketbook (I always hated pocketbooks) that wasn’t worn down on the butt end from nervous gnawing' (ALLITERATION!!)
'Still, it beat smoking.' (what a minute, what? Laurie Sanders of Gordon High School fucking smokes????)
Oh dear Lord, this was excruciatingly exasperating. (GOTCHA)
This is supposed based on a ‘real event’ that happened in Palo Alto, California at Cubberley High School back in April of 1967 conducted by a History teacher named Ron Jones (porn name):
“Jones, unable to explain to his students how the German population could claim ignorance of the extermination of the Jewish people, decided to show them instead. Jones started a movement called "The Third Wave" and told his students that the movement aimed to eliminate democracy. The idea that democracy emphasizes individuality was considered as a drawback of democracy, and Jones emphasized this main point of the movement in its motto: "Strength through discipline, strength through community, strength through action, strength through pride."
So, this book is a novelization of a teleplay of an actual event. And the writer, Todd Strasser, used the pen name Morton Rhue.(Really? Morton Rhue?) Christ… this shit is fucked up. So… what do YOU think happens? Well, here’s the spoiler. They all become little Nazis. Seriously. Well, not all but like 98% of them do and the ones that don’t are threatened. ‘The Wave’ is supposed to make the football team win big against Clarkstown. ‘The Wave’ takes the class reject/future sociopath and makes him an organized, welcomed sociopath. ‘The Wave’ makes Amy Smith (a petite girl with thick, curly, Goldilocks hair) not feel like she always needs to compete against her BFF, Laurie with boys and grades and stuff. It’s like when phen-phen hit the market.. It’s a true blue miracle! And how long do you think it took to stick? C’mon… guess… a month? Two? Try five days.
Five.Days. An entire school was ready to give up all personal freedom and individuality for this ‘Wave’—which was nothing more than the motto, membership cards, and a salute, mind you—in a work week.
Yes. Yes.. I, too, see Generation Y or Generation Z… the one that got awards for every fucking little thing that they attempted… completely falling under this spell. But, seriously? I KNOW that my generation is way too cynical for such crap. We wouldn’t have even bothered to attend the stupid pep rally announcing The Wave. We’re hiding in the darkroom playing Joy Division.
This novella/teleplay/what have you sucks. It sucks donkey balls. The writing falls between a bad Hardy Boys story and a good Sweet Valley High. If I had to read another lines like: “Copies of the Grapevine had never been scooped up faster than they were that day. The school was abuzz with the news.” I was going to start my own genocidal Nazi Party. (Please do not go all PC on me right now, ok?)
What? Did you think we would enjoy a graphic novel version of Outlander from Jamie’s point of view? RYou’ve done us a great disservice, Ms. Gabaldon.
What? Did you think we would enjoy a graphic novel version of Outlander from Jamie’s point of view? Really? We are not Twilight fans, Diana (okay, some of us are, but for exasperated outrage sake, let’s not quibble.) We are a different breed.
We’ve forsaken our literary street cred, we’ve risked justified divorce proceedings, we’ve let precious family moments pass us by. We’ve poured through 6,850 pages, 7,458 if you count the Outlandish Companion!!!
We’ve stood in line at a bookstore and have openly purchased your books. We are COMMITTED (some more so than others.) And, this is what you’ve given us? Oh, how little you think of us.
First of all, THAT IS NOT WHAT JAMIE LOOKS LIKE. I know, I know, you’ve heard this all before…. But this is your fault. You’ve set us on this path and then give us this…
[image]
Uh uh… no way.
I read about how you used to write comics for Disney and how it was near and dear and all that crap. Still, you don’t toy with us with Jamie and Claire. Wow. This is how you see Claire? Seriously?
[image]
Please give us more credit than this. Please just work on the next book and let us know what happens with Roger and Gem and wee Ian and William and Fergus and of course, our favorite super couple, Clamie….or is it Jaire?
I picked up this book because I had seen it in a recommended reading site and then a friend said that it was really good. But... Yes, there's a but...I picked up this book because I had seen it in a recommended reading site and then a friend said that it was really good. But... Yes, there's a but... it took me 3 tries to get past page 10. I should have known then... but (again with the 'but') I persevered... thinking that I would eventually get into it, that I would get to the meat of it. By, page 300 I felt like I was trapped. I had already invested this much time into it and felt, at that point, that I had to finish it. I'm not saying that it probably isn't a great book. I'm sure it won awards and I'm sure that the writing is considered fair, but when I pick up a book called 'Possession - A Romance', I don't know... I guess I was expecting something with a bit more passion . Maybe the fact that it had to include 'A Romance' in the title should have tipped me off. The story centers around the discovery that two fictitious 'famous' poets had an affair and thus altered the meaning of their work to the scholars that study said poets. Okay. My problem is that I never really cared about either the poets or the scholars. There were times that I thought 'Yes, here we go'. But, it fizzled. Maybe the writing is too 'proper' for me. I have no doubt that this book is beloved by many, just not me. ...more
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