“Is there anything sadder than the scrawniest little piece of uneaten chicken at a dinner party?” “Hmm,” said Jules. “Yes. The Holocaust.”
As I approac“Is there anything sadder than the scrawniest little piece of uneaten chicken at a dinner party?” “Hmm,” said Jules. “Yes. The Holocaust.”
As I approach the inconceivable age of fifty.. (god, written out it looks frightening, but numerically, 50, it looks damn impossible).. I find myself once again becoming that self-absorbed teenager. I guess I never really grew out of it. The neuroses are still there.. the fears and failures are still there.. damn, it’s downright depressing. For a while, I distracted myself with marriage and children and become too exhausted to think about myself but somewhere around 40 this whole ‘mindfulness’ catch –all happened and we were told to experience the present.. like that would be better..
Studies have shown that rumination and worry contribute to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety, and that mindfulness-based interventions are effective in the reduction of both rumination and worry.
Really? I don’t want to knock it, but yeah.. not my thing. I had my own brand of self preservation which has now been clichéd to hell and back and maybe I unconsciously saw it somewhere but I thought.. make memories…. That’s what matters. And, it works.. It helps stave off the feeling of failing at being an adult or the fact that what you said and did at 15, 18, 22… those were rantings of the inspired, oblivious, hopeful version of you and that has been beaten down and now resides just behind your epiglottis and you tamper it down with prescribed GERD medications.
How many pills do you take a day to function? Tell me to shut the fuck up already. First world issues. This book is most definitely a first world issue book. A group of kids who bond in summer camp and how their lives play out…. Lots of self-absorption, talking and talking and then more talking. The person who had this book prior to me wrote on the review slip that’s taped to the first page ‘After 75 pages I gave up.. too boring!’ I can see that.. it’s like those television shows that get canceled because they are ‘too real’.. meaning that they just portray life….ups, downs, futility, nostalgia, death.
“Then it wouldn't be long before they all found themselves shocked and sad to be fully grown into their thicker, finalized adult selves with almost no chance for reinvention.”
I’m scared to say I related to the main character because she was a full on self-absorbed, rooted in the mind of her 15 year old self. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to grow up. You can slap me anytime. There are too many real world horrors going on right now to care.. I’m not sure if this is escapism or self-pity… I’ll settle on both.
“...You want to know whether the problems that you teenagers feel—will they follow you over the rest of your lives? Will your hearts always be aching? Is that what you are asking me?” Goodman shifted in discomfort. “Something like that,” he said. “Yes,” said the counselor in a suddenly plangent voice. “Always they will be aching. I wish I could tell you something else, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth. My wise and gentle friends, this is the way it will be from now on.” No one could say anything. “We are so, so fucked,” ...more
Emotions.. what funny things that we compress down to emoticons and expect all users to know that smiling tears eyes means you are LOL-ing. Amazing thEmotions.. what funny things that we compress down to emoticons and expect all users to know that smiling tears eyes means you are LOL-ing. Amazing that the poop emoticon is so... what it is. (I haven't had an occasion to use this one... I guess it could be construed as good and bad). Anyway, emotions... I tend to squash them deep down and play happy, squinty eye smile and then when I'm watching something like say...murder porn… I start to sweat and my eyes well up (but no smile) and I begin to tremble because I know that single mom walking home is gonna die and her kid is going to be messed up big time and then I breakdown and cry for like 3 days.
“Throughout my life I have been criticized for a perceived lack of emotion, as if this were some absolute fault…. I am perfectly happy to detect, recognize, and analyze emotions. This is a useful skill and I would like to be better at it. Occasionally an emotion can be enjoyed—the gratitude I felt for my sister, who visited me even during the bad times, the primitive feeling of well-being after a glass of wine—but we need to be vigilant that emotions do not cripple us.”
Meet Don. I’m pretty sure that Don would drive me absolutely batshit crazy because of my repressed emotions and I would turn every analytical thing he does into some sort of injustice against me. He doesn’t care, he is bored, he doesn’t get it, he thinks I’m dumb. He doesn’t love me.
Frowny red face.
Emotions are tricky. We’ve never had a great relationship. I think that by reading this book, I am able to understand a bit more about logic and pragmatism. Occum’s Razor. This was a quick read… I’ll use the word ‘quirky’ because it’s fun to say. Like ‘qwerty’ but with more kick.
I don’t believe that Don would like me. I speak in fragments, do the opposite of what I say, cry over movies with animals, have mini breakdowns when someone eats all the Christmas cookies. I’m a freakin’ whole lot of mess.
It's a cold mid November day. More gray than blue. This is a good soft book to lose oneself in. I've always followed David Leavitt and he leaves me inIt's a cold mid November day. More gray than blue. This is a good soft book to lose oneself in. I've always followed David Leavitt and he leaves me in this.. comfortly morose state. He speaks of regrets, the unrequited, the sorrow and loneliness and I eat it up. But, I wrap it around me and it keeps me warm. Because this is how it is. Retakes on memories and quiet grips on reality. It doesn't help to throw in some EM Forster and Henry James history as well. :) Thank you. ...more
Sadly, this is only the 5th book that I've read this year. I'm terrible, horrible, I should move to Australia. And... I have to say... I was reallOk.
Sadly, this is only the 5th book that I've read this year. I'm terrible, horrible, I should move to Australia. And... I have to say... I was really meh over it. I've been told to read Meg Abbot for awhile and maybe I shouldn't have chosen this one as my first. I'm all like what is this?
So.. I'm thinking 'Fever'... okay, like biochemical apocalyptic.... I mean there is that lake.. with it's slime... No. They're just normal 16 yr old girls who really really really like to wear tights (as we are told many many many times) and their normal lust driven thoughts. Ok, I can deal.. I've read Sarah Dessen.. this steps it up a notch. The main character is named Deenie, which throws me back to Blume and I'm stuck in like 1980 and wow, scoliosis man... do you think that was intentional? A homage. And... my mind drifts.
So, no zombie fever. Check. Then I'm like ok... so, there's an epidemic of some sort but it's only affecting girls around 12-16 and they are hysterical in the true form of the word (Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!) and get this.. they are blaming.. VACCINES... jesus christ on a crumb. I'm so weary of the vaccine debate. So, eye roll.
Then, no HPV lurking parasite. Check. Now we've got a group of girls twitching and snapping and screaming and vomiting and tweaking and more and more each day... I'm thinking 'Where's Winona? Where's Goody Glover?' At this time, I am so confused... sigh
Okay, so no trials of the blaming sort, but wait... what's this? Jealousy! Carnality! Fury! Retribution! And... spells. The Craft? Hot girls in short black skirts and no acne and perfect hair seeking out the beautiful innocents? ehhhhh.........
I'm lost. I'm tired. I've only read 4 books this year. I feel like I wasted my precious netflix bingeing time on this. I want to cry because I miss reading. I miss the excitement of losing myself in a saga of epic proportions... Calgon, where are you?
Meh, read it. Don't. I am not going to judge Meg Abbott on this. ...more
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