The Monkey's Raincoat: The P.I. Who Didn't Want to Grow Up
“ ‘Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy
The Monkey's Raincoat: The P.I. Who Didn't Want to Grow Up
“ ‘Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy.’ The Blue Fairy said that. In Pinocchio.”- Elvis Cole Licensed Investigator, State of California
Mr. Cole, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Yeah, with you and the big guy, Joe Pike. Don't tell him I said so. I don't want him to jump to the wrong conclusion. But, after all, he said you taught him good things. Says a lot about you. Seems Joe can take things pretty literal. Know what I mean?
Don't get me wrong. I was a little skeptical about you to begin with. What kind of self respecting PI has a Mickey Mouse phone, a Pinnochio Clock, and Jiminy Cricket figurines spread around his office? Any client walking into the place might wonder if they stepped into the wrong office. Underestimate you. But that's part of that self effacing act of yours, isn't it?
I get it. I used to wear a Mickey Mouse watch in the courtroom. Me? Oh, yeah. I'm Sullivan. ADA, retired. I tried guys that hurt kids. So, the Mickey Mouse watch. You and I would get along. Yeah, call me Mike. I'm retired now. Thank God.
You know, I got what you meant about wanting to be Peter Pan, never wanting to grow up. I worked with a lot of guys that went to the Nam. Yeah, some of them came back different, real different. Effed up. So you saying you decided you didn't want to grow up when your were eighteen in a rice paddy In Country. I get that. You didn't say so, but I bet you saw a bunch of shit you wish you hadn't.
Like I say, we'll get along fine. I had days I wished I hadn't grown up. People don't get me sometimes. I've seen as much as you have. It's the eyes of dead kids get me. Sometimes they look surprised. Others...they don't. Look surprised. It's like they knew it was coming. Some almost looked like they were glad it was over.
That Mickey Mouse watch. It made the living kids smile. I liked that. It pissed off the lawyers who represented the beaters, the rapers, the killers. I liked that, too. It's good when you can get under the other guy's skin. Yeah, you know that, too.
I started figuring you out when Ellen Lang and that barracuda friend of hers came into your office. Ellen's husband Mort is missing. And her nine year old boy, Perry. Ellen, that little hausfrau from Kansas, who didn't even know how to write a check. And that girl friend of hers, riding her to get on with it. Hire you. Get rid of the shit husband. You took that case for less than it was worth. I liked that about you.
Then I got to thinking about that Haiku by Basho at the beginning of your story.
Winter downpour-- even the monkey needs a raincoat.
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Matsuo Basho, 1644-1694, Osaka Prefecture, Japan
That's the way your mind clicks. You are the raincoat, Mr. Cole. Aren't you? And your client is the monkey. When times get bad you protect your client. Whatever it takes. Joe Pike is your extra muscle. He was in the Nam, too. A Marine. And a cop. Maybe a little zealous. Maybe that's why he's not on the force, but with you.
You're a lot deeper than you let on, Mr. Cole. The records in your house, the music you listen to again and again. The shelf of books you read again and again. The books that fit your life, the way you live it, the way you work it. No wonder some folks don't see you coming, take you for granted. Like a man wearing a Mickey Mouse watch.
Nothing's ever simple as it looks, is it? Yeah, we all knew Hubby Mort was a shit. Had girls on the side. The little hausfrau at home probably knew about them, but wouldn't say a word. When Mort turns up with a bullet in his brain pan, neither you nor I were surprised.
But where's Perry? I wasn't surprised you tore up that fee check Ellen wrote you. All part of being that monkey's raincoat. Isn't it?
There's a real cute phrase the cool people. Wait a minute. The people who think they're cool, say today: "Not my circus, not my monkey." Ain't that a scream? No, I didn't think you would think so. But that's the way most folks are these days. You aren't. Yeah, I like that.
Let me just say, I like your style. And, Joe Pike? I wouldn't want him mad at me. Well, I wouldn't want you mad at me either, Mr. Cole. But I'd be glad for y'all to have my back.
Anybody reads this, I'll just tell them they will have to read this for themselves. I wouldn't want to spoil it for them. Let's just say the good guys win. That's not a bad thing.
Mr. Cole, I'll be back. Say, looks like you could use a good Mickey Mouse watch for your collection. Here. No, I won't miss it. I'm retired. You aren't. Besides, I'll be back to see it from time to time. I'll drop by with a bottle of Glenlivet like you like. Or I may try to talk you into some Glenmorangie Single Malt 18 Years Old. It's good. Like this story.
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