“SUMMARY—START WITH HEART Here’s how people who are skilled at dialogue stay focused on their goals—particularly when the going gets tough. Work on Me First, Us Second • Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself. Focus on What You Really Want • When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives. • Ask yourself: “What does my behavior tell me about what my motives are?” • Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?” • And finally, ask: “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?” Refuse the Fool’s Choice • As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking yourself into a Fool’s Choice. • Watch to see if you’re telling yourself that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on. • Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and. • Clarify what you don’t want, add it to what you do want, and ask your brain to start searching for healthy options to bring you to dialogue.”
―
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
Share this quote:
Friends Who Liked This Quote
To see what your friends thought of this quote, please sign up!
6 likes
All Members Who Liked This Quote
This Quote Is From
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
by
Kerry Patterson
74,242 ratings, average rating, 4,547 reviews
Open Preview
74,242 ratings, average rating, 4,547 reviews
Open Preview
Browse By Tag
- love (97323)
- life (75825)
- inspirational (72541)
- humor (43652)
- philosophy (29428)
- inspirational-quotes (26833)
- god (25969)
- wisdom (23532)
- truth (23521)
- romance (22977)
- poetry (22008)
- death (19936)
- happiness (18612)
- life-lessons (18515)
- hope (17802)
- faith (17787)
- quotes (16691)
- inspiration (16469)
- spirituality (15064)
- religion (14830)
- motivational (14798)
- writing (14738)
- relationships (14411)
- life-quotes (14126)
- love-quotes (13783)
- success (13388)
- time (12313)
- motivation (11891)
- science (11613)
- knowledge (11222)