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In My Dreams I Hold a Knife
Six friends.
One college reunion.
One unsolved murder.
A college reunion turns dark and deadly in this chilling and propulsive suspense novel about six friends, one unsolved murder, and the dark secrets they’ve been hiding from each other—and themselves—for a decade.
Ten years after graduation, Jessica Miller has planned her triumphant return to southern, elite Duquette University, down to the envious whispers that are sure to follow in her wake. Everyone is going to see the girl she wants them to see—confident, beautiful, indifferent—not the girl she was when she left campus, back when Heather’s murder fractured everything, including the tight bond linking the six friends she’d been closest to since freshman year. Ten years ago, everything fell apart, including the dreams she worked for her whole life—and her relationship with the one person she wasn’t supposed to love.
But not everyone is ready to move on. Not everyone left Duquette ten years ago, and not everyone can let Heather’s murder go unsolved. Someone is determined to trap the real killer, to make the guilty pay. When the six friends are reunited, they will be forced to confront what happened that night—and the years’ worth of secrets each of them would do anything to keep hidden.
Told in racing dual timelines, with a dark campus setting and a darker look at friendship, love, obsession, and ambition, In My Dreams I Hold A Knife is an addictive, propulsive read you won’t be able to put down.
One college reunion.
One unsolved murder.
A college reunion turns dark and deadly in this chilling and propulsive suspense novel about six friends, one unsolved murder, and the dark secrets they’ve been hiding from each other—and themselves—for a decade.
Ten years after graduation, Jessica Miller has planned her triumphant return to southern, elite Duquette University, down to the envious whispers that are sure to follow in her wake. Everyone is going to see the girl she wants them to see—confident, beautiful, indifferent—not the girl she was when she left campus, back when Heather’s murder fractured everything, including the tight bond linking the six friends she’d been closest to since freshman year. Ten years ago, everything fell apart, including the dreams she worked for her whole life—and her relationship with the one person she wasn’t supposed to love.
But not everyone is ready to move on. Not everyone left Duquette ten years ago, and not everyone can let Heather’s murder go unsolved. Someone is determined to trap the real killer, to make the guilty pay. When the six friends are reunited, they will be forced to confront what happened that night—and the years’ worth of secrets each of them would do anything to keep hidden.
Told in racing dual timelines, with a dark campus setting and a darker look at friendship, love, obsession, and ambition, In My Dreams I Hold A Knife is an addictive, propulsive read you won’t be able to put down.
345 pages, Hardcover
First published August 3, 2021
About the author
Ashley Winstead
7 books4,416 followersAshley Winstead is a chameleon writing across as many genres as she can get away with. Her bestselling, critically-acclaimed books have been translated into more than a dozen languages, optioned for television, named Library Read, Loan Star, and Amazon Editor picks, and covered everywhere from the New York Times to People magazine. She's a former academic who lives in Houston with her husband, three cats, and beloved wine fridge.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 16,174 reviews
November 20, 2021
I was duped. This book is not it. What are y'all talking about?
Why is anyone in love with Jessica? What has this toxic enneagram 3 motherf*cker ever done in her life to make someone think she's got emotional depth? Men and women be falling for her and I'm over like "y'all all need to sort out your priorities cause it's embarrassing tbh".
I'm actually confused why any of them are friends. Like, Mint and Frankie I can understand. But Jack and Coop? In what world would they gravitate toward a football player? I don't see it.
Also, Courtney being frenemies with them was so confusing. Like, they put up with her and act like they want her around but then also think she's a huge b*tch (because she IS) and like secretly hate her. So why hang out with her? They don't have to. She has other friends. I'm confused.
There is a plot twist I called in chapter 2 and was so annoyed when it was revealed because DUH. Like 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Was I supposed to care about Heather's death? She was the least talked about character even though we had an insane amount of flashbacks where she was alive. She barely spoke. We learned next to nothing about her personality or relationship with the group. So not only did I not understand why she was friends with them but I also didn't care about her as a character so I wasn't motivated to care about who killed her or understand why. There were points where I would forget that she was the one who ends up dead.
The book was easy to read and I sped through it. So I felt good about that. But I wouldn't read it again or recommend it to anyone.
Why is anyone in love with Jessica? What has this toxic enneagram 3 motherf*cker ever done in her life to make someone think she's got emotional depth? Men and women be falling for her and I'm over like "y'all all need to sort out your priorities cause it's embarrassing tbh".
I'm actually confused why any of them are friends. Like, Mint and Frankie I can understand. But Jack and Coop? In what world would they gravitate toward a football player? I don't see it.
Also, Courtney being frenemies with them was so confusing. Like, they put up with her and act like they want her around but then also think she's a huge b*tch (because she IS) and like secretly hate her. So why hang out with her? They don't have to. She has other friends. I'm confused.
There is a plot twist I called in chapter 2 and was so annoyed when it was revealed because DUH. Like 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Was I supposed to care about Heather's death? She was the least talked about character even though we had an insane amount of flashbacks where she was alive. She barely spoke. We learned next to nothing about her personality or relationship with the group. So not only did I not understand why she was friends with them but I also didn't care about her as a character so I wasn't motivated to care about who killed her or understand why. There were points where I would forget that she was the one who ends up dead.
The book was easy to read and I sped through it. So I felt good about that. But I wouldn't read it again or recommend it to anyone.
October 19, 2023
3🌟
This book was super enthralling at first, but then fell flat for me.
Insufferable friend group who then starts to harbor secrets and dirt on each other.
Also did not like the main character but I did enjoy the storyline and the twists.
This book was super enthralling at first, but then fell flat for me.
Insufferable friend group who then starts to harbor secrets and dirt on each other.
Also did not like the main character but I did enjoy the storyline and the twists.
September 9, 2021
There is no knife in this book.
October 26, 2021
my favourite thriller of the year
reading vlog https://youtu.be/OOwrX15Ig0Q
reading vlog https://youtu.be/OOwrX15Ig0Q
July 15, 2022
Ending go brazy bruh
September 18, 2024
It seems like so many of my favorite books share the same release day! Happy book birthday to this stunning, smart thriller! 🥳📚
This book is absolutely genius—outstandingly entertaining, heart-pounding, and a far better mash-up of The Breakfast Club and Pretty Little Liars than the One of Us Is Lying series!
You might ask, why is this book so much better? My answer: the character development is mind-blowing—surprisingly honest and deeply layered. The pacing is well-balanced and intriguing. It’s haunting.
I found this book bolder, smarter, more shocking, and way more enjoyable!
The East House Seven characters are a bunch of liars, cheaters, stalkers, drug dealers, and drug addicts. Their strong friendship is built on lies, betrayal, and rivalry. But who cares? They’re legends—the infamous group of Duquette University!
Another thing I loved about this book is how the author expertly drops bombshells, delivering sucker punches that come out of nowhere. And the deliciously fiery ending sealed the deal. I loved the wild, action-packed, twisty, whodunnit premise and devoured it in one sitting!
The promising premise centers around a 10th-anniversary reunion of university students, which also serves as the reason to drag them back to the scene of Heather’s brutal murder—stabbed 17 times with a pair of scissors in her dorm room (I’m still conflicted about the book’s title, given that the murder weapon isn’t a knife but scissors!).
Her brother Eric is determined to find the real killer. So, their reunion turns into a murder investigation, with one of them being the murderer. Sooner or later, all the secrets they’ve been hiding are about to be revealed, changing the entire dynamic of their relationships. Nothing is as it seems.
The main character, Jessica Miller, is one of the best portrayals of a flawed, insecure woman trying too hard to steal the spotlight, terrified of being a nobody. She’s self-centered, ambitious, broken, an overachiever, competitive, and truly self-destructive, even showing sociopathic tendencies.
And yet, I connected with her. Even though you hate her, you can’t help but feel sorry for her. You want to shake some sense into her, but her wasted childhood and warped moral compass keep her from seeing her true purpose. Her father’s life goals have replaced her own dreams.
Coop, my favorite character, reminds me of Judd Nelson’s bad-boy character John Bender from The Breakfast Club. He’s a drug dealer from poverty, smart, snarky, and charismatic. He sees Jess’s true face from the beginning and is the only one who truly accepts her. In my opinion, his sweet fiancée Caro was too lighthearted for his inner darkness.
Other characters include star athlete Frankie, brainy Jess (and our victim Heather), and golden boy Mint, who was Jess’s longtime boyfriend but left her for social media influencer princess Courtney. Although Courtney isn’t part of the East House Seven, she’s involved in the murder investigation due to her marriage to Mint. Then there’s sweet, social, and loyal Caro, Coop’s fiancée, and shy, lovely Jack, Heather’s former boyfriend, who was initially accused of killing her. But Eric knows Jack wasn’t the murderer, so he’s not involved in the investigation.
So, who killed Heather? What dirty secrets are the East House Seven hiding from each other?
This is a gripping, unputdownable read, perfect for lounging on your couch, munching on greasy popcorn, and enjoying each suspenseful chapter.
I loved the smart conclusion and the back-and-forth between different timelines, which provided just enough clues about the characters’ motives and perspectives. The last two flashbacks—Jess’s birthday party with her family and her conversation with Heather about where they see themselves ten years later—were especially powerful and shook me to the core.
I’ve said enough already! I’m giving this book five blazing stars! I can’t wait to read more from this author—they did an amazing job!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for sharing this amazing digital review copy with me in exchange for my honest opinions.
This revision enhances the flow and clarity of your thoughts while preserving your enthusiastic voice.
This book is absolutely genius—outstandingly entertaining, heart-pounding, and a far better mash-up of The Breakfast Club and Pretty Little Liars than the One of Us Is Lying series!
You might ask, why is this book so much better? My answer: the character development is mind-blowing—surprisingly honest and deeply layered. The pacing is well-balanced and intriguing. It’s haunting.
I found this book bolder, smarter, more shocking, and way more enjoyable!
The East House Seven characters are a bunch of liars, cheaters, stalkers, drug dealers, and drug addicts. Their strong friendship is built on lies, betrayal, and rivalry. But who cares? They’re legends—the infamous group of Duquette University!
Another thing I loved about this book is how the author expertly drops bombshells, delivering sucker punches that come out of nowhere. And the deliciously fiery ending sealed the deal. I loved the wild, action-packed, twisty, whodunnit premise and devoured it in one sitting!
The promising premise centers around a 10th-anniversary reunion of university students, which also serves as the reason to drag them back to the scene of Heather’s brutal murder—stabbed 17 times with a pair of scissors in her dorm room (I’m still conflicted about the book’s title, given that the murder weapon isn’t a knife but scissors!).
Her brother Eric is determined to find the real killer. So, their reunion turns into a murder investigation, with one of them being the murderer. Sooner or later, all the secrets they’ve been hiding are about to be revealed, changing the entire dynamic of their relationships. Nothing is as it seems.
The main character, Jessica Miller, is one of the best portrayals of a flawed, insecure woman trying too hard to steal the spotlight, terrified of being a nobody. She’s self-centered, ambitious, broken, an overachiever, competitive, and truly self-destructive, even showing sociopathic tendencies.
And yet, I connected with her. Even though you hate her, you can’t help but feel sorry for her. You want to shake some sense into her, but her wasted childhood and warped moral compass keep her from seeing her true purpose. Her father’s life goals have replaced her own dreams.
Coop, my favorite character, reminds me of Judd Nelson’s bad-boy character John Bender from The Breakfast Club. He’s a drug dealer from poverty, smart, snarky, and charismatic. He sees Jess’s true face from the beginning and is the only one who truly accepts her. In my opinion, his sweet fiancée Caro was too lighthearted for his inner darkness.
Other characters include star athlete Frankie, brainy Jess (and our victim Heather), and golden boy Mint, who was Jess’s longtime boyfriend but left her for social media influencer princess Courtney. Although Courtney isn’t part of the East House Seven, she’s involved in the murder investigation due to her marriage to Mint. Then there’s sweet, social, and loyal Caro, Coop’s fiancée, and shy, lovely Jack, Heather’s former boyfriend, who was initially accused of killing her. But Eric knows Jack wasn’t the murderer, so he’s not involved in the investigation.
So, who killed Heather? What dirty secrets are the East House Seven hiding from each other?
This is a gripping, unputdownable read, perfect for lounging on your couch, munching on greasy popcorn, and enjoying each suspenseful chapter.
I loved the smart conclusion and the back-and-forth between different timelines, which provided just enough clues about the characters’ motives and perspectives. The last two flashbacks—Jess’s birthday party with her family and her conversation with Heather about where they see themselves ten years later—were especially powerful and shook me to the core.
I’ve said enough already! I’m giving this book five blazing stars! I can’t wait to read more from this author—they did an amazing job!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for sharing this amazing digital review copy with me in exchange for my honest opinions.
This revision enhances the flow and clarity of your thoughts while preserving your enthusiastic voice.
November 9, 2022
"What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"-Mary Oliver
Well, consider me impressed. It's been ages since a psychological suspense novel has blown me away, but that's exactly what In My Dreams I Hold a Knife has done.
This is definitely a character driven story, but don't let that convince you that it's slow or boring. Between the alternating timelines and POVs, things are kept mysterious until the moment the author chooses to reveal all that happened on that fateful day during the East House 7's final year of college. When I wasn't reading this book, I was thinking about it, and felt equally invested in the character back stories and daily interactions as I was in Heather's death.
Part murder mystery, part coming of age, these flawed (and somewhat unlikable characters) will challenge you in the best way possible, and perhaps convince you to feel for them just a bit by the end? I cannot wait to discuss this one with more readers, and I believe it will be in my Top Ten Reads of 2021 wrap-up as well. Highly recommended to other thriller readers who may be feeling jaded towards the genre like I was.
*Many thanks to the publisher and Kaye Publicity for my review copy.
Well, consider me impressed. It's been ages since a psychological suspense novel has blown me away, but that's exactly what In My Dreams I Hold a Knife has done.
This is definitely a character driven story, but don't let that convince you that it's slow or boring. Between the alternating timelines and POVs, things are kept mysterious until the moment the author chooses to reveal all that happened on that fateful day during the East House 7's final year of college. When I wasn't reading this book, I was thinking about it, and felt equally invested in the character back stories and daily interactions as I was in Heather's death.
Part murder mystery, part coming of age, these flawed (and somewhat unlikable characters) will challenge you in the best way possible, and perhaps convince you to feel for them just a bit by the end? I cannot wait to discuss this one with more readers, and I believe it will be in my Top Ten Reads of 2021 wrap-up as well. Highly recommended to other thriller readers who may be feeling jaded towards the genre like I was.
*Many thanks to the publisher and Kaye Publicity for my review copy.
April 26, 2021
this book is fascinating and mysterious in all the same ways that people who seem untouchable are.
but what those on the outside dont see is the narcissism, ambition, jealousy, desire, and rage.
this story thrillingly captures those exact imperfections the untouchable people desperately try to hide. and us readers on the outside get to see just how destructive false pretences can really be.
utterly riveting, dark academia at its best, and easily a new favourite.
a massive thanks to sourcebooks landmark for the ARC!!
↠ 5 stars
but what those on the outside dont see is the narcissism, ambition, jealousy, desire, and rage.
this story thrillingly captures those exact imperfections the untouchable people desperately try to hide. and us readers on the outside get to see just how destructive false pretences can really be.
utterly riveting, dark academia at its best, and easily a new favourite.
a massive thanks to sourcebooks landmark for the ARC!!
↠ 5 stars
August 19, 2021
One of my favorite thrillers of the year!!!! All of the characters are so fleshed out and it was such a great mystery trying to figure out what actually happened in the past. I loved the writing style with the jumping back and forth in time, and I love that it’s mostly told in Jessica’s POV but we also get singular chapters from some of the other characters. I love that Jess is a very morally gray character and she’s super flawed and hard to root for at times, it made her such an interesting protagonist. I also was actually a huge fan of the love triangle that was happening 😅 it’s been a while since I’ve read an interesting love triangle. I am amazed that this is a debut novel, the attention to detail is incredible and the writing is absolutely gorgeous, some of the scene toward the end nearly had me in tears??? I will most definitely be picking up everything this author writes in the future. Of you’re into books with a dark academia setting and a kick ass mystery, read this book NOW 😍
I also listened to this playlist of dark academia music while I read the book and it was LIFE CHANGING: https://youtu.be/uQpmIm4I1dw
Taylor Swift songs that remind me of this book:
•right where you left me
•don’t you
•i did something bad
•this is why we can’t have nice things
•bad blood
•look what you made me do
Reading vlog with more thoughts: https://youtu.be/v0v5yTpWtig
I also listened to this playlist of dark academia music while I read the book and it was LIFE CHANGING: https://youtu.be/uQpmIm4I1dw
Taylor Swift songs that remind me of this book:
•right where you left me
•don’t you
•i did something bad
•this is why we can’t have nice things
•bad blood
•look what you made me do
Reading vlog with more thoughts: https://youtu.be/v0v5yTpWtig
September 14, 2022
melodramatic, silly, but ultimately fun. i have NO clue how i'd rate this
February 22, 2022
officially my all-time favorite thriller
September 23, 2021
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead was not what I expected. I had looked forward to enjoying this novel and was prepared to give it a glowing review. After finishing the book, I read many reviews and they were four and five stars for the most part. I felt like I had not read the same book. The characters were especially not well-drawn. The plot is divided between the college years of six friends and then ten years later around the time of their college reunion. The college-age people behaved like fourteen-year-olds. The thirty-somethings were like eighteen-year-olds. Their behaviour was puerile, nasty and immature. If I had not known better, I would have assumed this was a YA mystery. So much time was wasted on trivial passages that were totally unnecessary and certainly did not enhance the story. I understand that this is a work of fiction, but a semblance of reality would have helped. Please know that this is only my opinion and not all books appeal to everyone. I would very much like to read Ashley Winstead’s next book. Thank you to Harper Collins Canada, NetGalley and the author for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 24, 2021
No. I am stunned that there’s so many people saying this is one of the best thrillers of the year. I’m definitely an outlier on this. The characters in this book were so immature for being 32 years old. I don’t need to like the characters in order to like the book, but even the story itself wasn’t good. There weren’t the twists and turns I was expecting. They were just a bunch of messed up people. The killer was no surprise. I don’t know what I’m missing. That’s the beauty of reading though, we all have different ideas & things we see differently. I’m glad other people enjoyed this but I personally found it very lacking.
February 9, 2022
Basically a bunch of rich kids who peaked in college return to their ten-year reunion to word vomit all of their deepest darkest secrets
January 16, 2022
Damn this book. I was going into this with high expectations but didn't expect to love it with all of these horrible characters but I did. I really, really loved it.
July 20, 2021
This dark academia book is everything I’ve been looking for since reading The Secret History.
Six friends return to their university for their ten year college reunion. They used to be known as the East House Seven until one of them was brutally murdered. Before the murder, they were inseparable. Now they barely know each other.
Jessica Miller has always been ambitious and she returns to Duquette University determined to amaze everyone with her success. She’s got the perfect job, perfect looks, perfect everything, and she’s sure everyone will be awed by her perfectness. She’s put her life back together since her best friend, Heather was murdered and Jack, one of the East House Seven was accused of the crime. The cops couldn’t find enough evidence to prove he killed her, so charges were eventually dropped.
But not everyone has moved on from the murder, someone has been compiling evidence long after the police have given up on the case. And they plan to force a confession from the killer and to reveal everyone’s secrets.
This dark campus tale is told in dual timelines and is taut as a bowstring. It really delves deep into how far one would go to achieve everything they have ever wanted. Ashley Winstead excellently shows the dark side of ambition, obsession and love. The characters were so well-developed, their heart’s desires and flaws were laid bare for all to see.
I wanted to reread this book as soon as I finished. That feeling almost never happens these days. I could not put this book down and resented when I had to; this book is that good. And that ending! Wow! For a second I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but then I thought how it made sense with the breadcrumbs that were scattered throughout. I loved it. Obviously.
I think I saw that the author has another book coming out next year. I can’t wait to read that one.
Thanks to Netgalley and HarperCollins Canada for the digital arc in exchange for my honest opinions.
Six friends return to their university for their ten year college reunion. They used to be known as the East House Seven until one of them was brutally murdered. Before the murder, they were inseparable. Now they barely know each other.
Jessica Miller has always been ambitious and she returns to Duquette University determined to amaze everyone with her success. She’s got the perfect job, perfect looks, perfect everything, and she’s sure everyone will be awed by her perfectness. She’s put her life back together since her best friend, Heather was murdered and Jack, one of the East House Seven was accused of the crime. The cops couldn’t find enough evidence to prove he killed her, so charges were eventually dropped.
But not everyone has moved on from the murder, someone has been compiling evidence long after the police have given up on the case. And they plan to force a confession from the killer and to reveal everyone’s secrets.
This dark campus tale is told in dual timelines and is taut as a bowstring. It really delves deep into how far one would go to achieve everything they have ever wanted. Ashley Winstead excellently shows the dark side of ambition, obsession and love. The characters were so well-developed, their heart’s desires and flaws were laid bare for all to see.
I wanted to reread this book as soon as I finished. That feeling almost never happens these days. I could not put this book down and resented when I had to; this book is that good. And that ending! Wow! For a second I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but then I thought how it made sense with the breadcrumbs that were scattered throughout. I loved it. Obviously.
I think I saw that the author has another book coming out next year. I can’t wait to read that one.
Thanks to Netgalley and HarperCollins Canada for the digital arc in exchange for my honest opinions.
August 10, 2021
Solidly written fast-paced mystery! Definitely had shades of The Girls Are All So Nice Here with the reunion theme and something terrible happening while they were at school. I felt like this novel did more justice to the theme and kept me more intrigued and entertained.
This is the story of seven people who meet in college and by their senior year, one has been brutally murdered and another accused of the crime, yet he was let go due to lack of evidence. They all gather back at the prestigious Duquette University for their ten year Homecoming reunion, and secrets hidden begin to come to light. Told mostly from the point-of-view of Jessica, but also alternating between the others in the past and the present, everything begins to spiral and long-covered secrets are revealed.
I was invested in the story throughout even though I really didn't like any of the characters. They all had some twisted motivations and dark things they are hiding. At one point or another I suspected pretty much everyone, so the ultimate revelation definitely came as a surprise to me.
One minor quibble I had were the names. For heaven's sake, there are millions of choices for names out there, why oh why name characters with nearly the same names? Caro, Coop, Courtney, and even a Charlie has a role. But in a group of eight people who hang out, to have three of them with such similar names is dumb. Take pity on us poor readers who need to keep characters straight in our heads!
Overall, I plowed through this one pretty quickly and even though the characters are unlikable, I was still curious to know the ultimate outcome and enjoyed this twisted college reunion.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
This is the story of seven people who meet in college and by their senior year, one has been brutally murdered and another accused of the crime, yet he was let go due to lack of evidence. They all gather back at the prestigious Duquette University for their ten year Homecoming reunion, and secrets hidden begin to come to light. Told mostly from the point-of-view of Jessica, but also alternating between the others in the past and the present, everything begins to spiral and long-covered secrets are revealed.
I was invested in the story throughout even though I really didn't like any of the characters. They all had some twisted motivations and dark things they are hiding. At one point or another I suspected pretty much everyone, so the ultimate revelation definitely came as a surprise to me.
One minor quibble I had were the names. For heaven's sake, there are millions of choices for names out there, why oh why name characters with nearly the same names? Caro, Coop, Courtney, and even a Charlie has a role. But in a group of eight people who hang out, to have three of them with such similar names is dumb. Take pity on us poor readers who need to keep characters straight in our heads!
Overall, I plowed through this one pretty quickly and even though the characters are unlikable, I was still curious to know the ultimate outcome and enjoyed this twisted college reunion.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
August 22, 2021
Dream On.
Everytime I look in the mirror,
All these lines on my face getting clearer,
The past is gone. *Aerosmith
Hair, check. Dress, check. Invitation, check.
Jessica has planned carefully for her ten year college reunion. Homecoming was going to be HER night.
Most of her former group from the East House Seven would be there, save two: Heather who was dead, and Jack who was accused of killing her just prior to graduation.
However, the best crafted plans have a tendency to go awry - especially in books!
All seven characters had full stories but the focus was on Jessica. Not without faults, a reader would be tempted to view her as superficial as she’s so focused on her image. A quote from the first chapter appears to support this theory:
“I studied myself the way I’d done my whole life, searching for what others saw when they looked at me….I could never tell which story was right - Exceptional Jessica, or Mediocre Jessica. My life was a narrative I couldn’t parse, full of conflicting evidence.”
Dig deeper and she’s anything but shallow as her rooted issues surface. I was transfixed while her background was parceled out in increments and my understanding of her grew.
The mystery surrounding Heather’s death shapes the plot but the thoughtful prose created the essence of the book. I was invested in the writing just as much as discovering the guilty party, landing me squarely into the 'I can’t believe this is a debut' camp.
The author has earned a new fan and I’ll be watching for her next one!
Hardback copy purchased at Barnes and Noble. This was also available at my local library through Epub.
Everytime I look in the mirror,
All these lines on my face getting clearer,
The past is gone. *Aerosmith
Hair, check. Dress, check. Invitation, check.
Jessica has planned carefully for her ten year college reunion. Homecoming was going to be HER night.
Most of her former group from the East House Seven would be there, save two: Heather who was dead, and Jack who was accused of killing her just prior to graduation.
However, the best crafted plans have a tendency to go awry - especially in books!
All seven characters had full stories but the focus was on Jessica. Not without faults, a reader would be tempted to view her as superficial as she’s so focused on her image. A quote from the first chapter appears to support this theory:
“I studied myself the way I’d done my whole life, searching for what others saw when they looked at me….I could never tell which story was right - Exceptional Jessica, or Mediocre Jessica. My life was a narrative I couldn’t parse, full of conflicting evidence.”
Dig deeper and she’s anything but shallow as her rooted issues surface. I was transfixed while her background was parceled out in increments and my understanding of her grew.
The mystery surrounding Heather’s death shapes the plot but the thoughtful prose created the essence of the book. I was invested in the writing just as much as discovering the guilty party, landing me squarely into the 'I can’t believe this is a debut' camp.
The author has earned a new fan and I’ll be watching for her next one!
Hardback copy purchased at Barnes and Noble. This was also available at my local library through Epub.
August 7, 2021
I can't even express how much I loved this book! This my friends is a thriller...it checked all the thriller boxes for me! It is defiantly on my list of favorites for the year!
Dark academia setting.... Yes Please!
Twists that literally made me gasp...YEP...✅
Past and Present POV's.....✅
Utterly evil, calcuated and twisted? ...Absolutely ✅
Book hangover? ✅✅✅✅✅
A college reunion at the prestigious Duquette University...home of the infamous East House Seven...a tight little knit group that ruled the halls, ten years ago. They were the definition of cool, everyone wanted to be them....Oh how the mighty have fallen...when one of them is found brutally murdered in their dorm and one of them is accused...😳
In a University such as Duquette, second only to Harvard by the way...competitiveness is at an all time high...as to be expected...yet...will it make one of them kill to be at the top? Will jealously push them over the edge?
The character development is so well done! The past fills us in on the present cast and we get a good feel for what has shaped them and who they really are. Sure they have changed in 10 years, who hasn't?! 🤷Yet who are they really? Deep down inside? Not the persona that they have displayed for all their fellow classmates, but they real person they are- when no one is looking.
Plain jane Jessica Miller always felt like an outsider in their group, not good enough. Even though she dated one of the most popular guys at school, she felt like a fake. Now she is an Upper East Side girl named partner at one of the most sought after positions at a consulting company in NYC. She can't wait for reunion day...to show them all what she has made of herself....no matter what it took...she made it to the top...did the others?
What a jaw dropping, page flipping, edge of your seat debut this was! I absoutely loved, loved , loved it! I can't recommend it enough. 💗
Thank you Partners @bibliolifestyle @bookmarked for my gorgeous gifted copy! One of my most anticipated books of the year and it exceeded my expectations! Run and get a copy!
Dark academia setting.... Yes Please!
Twists that literally made me gasp...YEP...✅
Past and Present POV's.....✅
Utterly evil, calcuated and twisted? ...Absolutely ✅
Book hangover? ✅✅✅✅✅
A college reunion at the prestigious Duquette University...home of the infamous East House Seven...a tight little knit group that ruled the halls, ten years ago. They were the definition of cool, everyone wanted to be them....Oh how the mighty have fallen...when one of them is found brutally murdered in their dorm and one of them is accused...😳
In a University such as Duquette, second only to Harvard by the way...competitiveness is at an all time high...as to be expected...yet...will it make one of them kill to be at the top? Will jealously push them over the edge?
The character development is so well done! The past fills us in on the present cast and we get a good feel for what has shaped them and who they really are. Sure they have changed in 10 years, who hasn't?! 🤷Yet who are they really? Deep down inside? Not the persona that they have displayed for all their fellow classmates, but they real person they are- when no one is looking.
Plain jane Jessica Miller always felt like an outsider in their group, not good enough. Even though she dated one of the most popular guys at school, she felt like a fake. Now she is an Upper East Side girl named partner at one of the most sought after positions at a consulting company in NYC. She can't wait for reunion day...to show them all what she has made of herself....no matter what it took...she made it to the top...did the others?
What a jaw dropping, page flipping, edge of your seat debut this was! I absoutely loved, loved , loved it! I can't recommend it enough. 💗
Thank you Partners @bibliolifestyle @bookmarked for my gorgeous gifted copy! One of my most anticipated books of the year and it exceeded my expectations! Run and get a copy!
November 13, 2021
Newsflash:
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife
is one of the best, most addicting thrillers I’ve read all year!!
I’ve been so excited about this book for weeks now—next to For Your Own Good by Samantha Downing (another absolute must-read) it might have been my most anticipated thriller of the year. Did it live up to my expectations? Yes, yes, hell yes!
They were called the “East House 7”—a group of popular best friends at Duquette University. They were always in the public eye, and they had inseparable bonds. But near the end of senior year one of them was murdered and another was accused, and things were never quite the same between them.
Now, five of them are returning to Duquette for their 10-year reunion. But as much as they’d like to put the past behind them and show off their current selves—no one more than Jessica, who felt she didn't ever get all she deserved—someone is determined to unmask the real killer from among the remaining friends and won’t stop until they do
As the story—which alternates between past and present and is narrated at one point by many of the friends—unfolds, secrets will be revealed, grudges will be unearthed, and old scars will be reopened. Those carefree days of college, where they felt on top of the world, were also some of the worst days for some of them.
sat down to read, took a dinner break, and then read the rest of it. I love stories about old friends coming together when there are secrets to deal with, and I thought the characters were so well-drawn. You know how critical I am with thrillers, but this was FANTASTIC.
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2020 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2020.html.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
I’ve been so excited about this book for weeks now—next to For Your Own Good by Samantha Downing (another absolute must-read) it might have been my most anticipated thriller of the year. Did it live up to my expectations? Yes, yes, hell yes!
They were called the “East House 7”—a group of popular best friends at Duquette University. They were always in the public eye, and they had inseparable bonds. But near the end of senior year one of them was murdered and another was accused, and things were never quite the same between them.
Now, five of them are returning to Duquette for their 10-year reunion. But as much as they’d like to put the past behind them and show off their current selves—no one more than Jessica, who felt she didn't ever get all she deserved—someone is determined to unmask the real killer from among the remaining friends and won’t stop until they do
As the story—which alternates between past and present and is narrated at one point by many of the friends—unfolds, secrets will be revealed, grudges will be unearthed, and old scars will be reopened. Those carefree days of college, where they felt on top of the world, were also some of the worst days for some of them.
sat down to read, took a dinner break, and then read the rest of it. I love stories about old friends coming together when there are secrets to deal with, and I thought the characters were so well-drawn. You know how critical I am with thrillers, but this was FANTASTIC.
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2020 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2020.html.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
August 14, 2022
Can you feel nostalgic over something you've never experienced?
Walking across the college campus, having fun with your friends, falling in love, making mistakes, no responsibility.
Feeling young.
Feeling free.
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is whatever you're looking for: a mystery, broken hearts, very deep secrets and unbearable truths.
Not everyone will redeem themselves, not everyone will reveal their secrets.
Jessica, Heather, Jack, Mint, Coop, Frankie and Caro. The East House Seven vs the rest of the world.
They met the first week of college and they promised to be friends forever. To do something great with their wild and precious lives.
And they would have done that if secrets wouldn't tear them apart. If one of them wouldn't murder another one.
Ashley Winstead narrates the story from now and then, from the point of view of Jessica and from who we need to hear.
Page after page you get lost in the college atmosphere, in its parties and ceremonies, until everything is over, the truth is revealed and there's nothing more to read.
It's an addictive story, dark academia at its best, but also it’ll leave you with a shadow of nostalgia for something that happened but it's now over.
For something it could have been but now it's too late.
↠ 5 stars
Walking across the college campus, having fun with your friends, falling in love, making mistakes, no responsibility.
Feeling young.
Feeling free.
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is whatever you're looking for: a mystery, broken hearts, very deep secrets and unbearable truths.
Not everyone will redeem themselves, not everyone will reveal their secrets.
Jessica, Heather, Jack, Mint, Coop, Frankie and Caro. The East House Seven vs the rest of the world.
They met the first week of college and they promised to be friends forever. To do something great with their wild and precious lives.
And they would have done that if secrets wouldn't tear them apart. If one of them wouldn't murder another one.
Ashley Winstead narrates the story from now and then, from the point of view of Jessica and from who we need to hear.
Page after page you get lost in the college atmosphere, in its parties and ceremonies, until everything is over, the truth is revealed and there's nothing more to read.
It's an addictive story, dark academia at its best, but also it’ll leave you with a shadow of nostalgia for something that happened but it's now over.
For something it could have been but now it's too late.
↠ 5 stars
September 16, 2021
Well, that was intense and frenzied. I did admire the writer's skill in attributing backstories and motivations to its flawed characters and laying out the various twists and revelations. However, I failed to find this an enjoyable read.
My University days were prior to this story in a different time and place with very strict rules. I was unable to relate to this University and the events that occurred there. Reading this book was like wandering solo in some remote, little-known country, not knowing its culture, expectations, or language. I do believe many readers will find his a tense, compelling thriller, and I am probably in the minority.
The protagonist and narrator, Jessica Miller, came across as narcissistic, ruthless in her ambitions, unstable, and always striving to be 'the best'. During her time at University, she always felt she did not stand out enough among her peers. There was always someone more favored, more beautiful, more academically gifted, more popular, more financially secure, better dressed, and luckier. Second place would never do. She quietly seethed with jealousy. When one of the girls in her tight group of 7 friends was brutally murdered, the blame was immediately placed on her boyfriend. Jessica stood by him after graduation, never believing he was guilty. Because she seemed unlikeable to me, I failed to understand why two of the men in her group loved her, and her inability to choose between them. What would she risk to ensure a prominent and financially secure future? There is much over-the-top drama in the actions and reactions described.
Ten years after graduation, Jessica plans to return in triumph for a class reunion. She has a secure job, but not the one she craved. She has had a beauty makeover, dresses better, and presents herself as more self-assured. She is determined to stand out and make people notice and envy her as never before.
What she does not anticipate, is that her former friends have lived with their own insecurities and dark secrets. Most now hold successful positions. The younger brother of the murdered girl has remained at the University for the past ten years and now works on campus. He has been obsessed with investigating his sister's murder and also the secrets of the past group of friends and their contacts. He has plans to expose them all. The focus is not completely on the 'new Jessica' as she had hoped. All sorts of past secrets and unsavory behavior are revealed. Suspicions grow, romantic unions are shattered, and friendships fall apart. Bedlam ensues.
Will the murderer of the girl 10 years before be revealed? Were there any accomplices and people involved in a coverup? Will justice be served? How will the fallout alter their lives? Despite my lack of enthusiasm for the plot and characters, I felt that the author, Ashley Winstead, displayed a lot of talent. I would read her next psychological thriller.
My University days were prior to this story in a different time and place with very strict rules. I was unable to relate to this University and the events that occurred there. Reading this book was like wandering solo in some remote, little-known country, not knowing its culture, expectations, or language. I do believe many readers will find his a tense, compelling thriller, and I am probably in the minority.
The protagonist and narrator, Jessica Miller, came across as narcissistic, ruthless in her ambitions, unstable, and always striving to be 'the best'. During her time at University, she always felt she did not stand out enough among her peers. There was always someone more favored, more beautiful, more academically gifted, more popular, more financially secure, better dressed, and luckier. Second place would never do. She quietly seethed with jealousy. When one of the girls in her tight group of 7 friends was brutally murdered, the blame was immediately placed on her boyfriend. Jessica stood by him after graduation, never believing he was guilty. Because she seemed unlikeable to me, I failed to understand why two of the men in her group loved her, and her inability to choose between them. What would she risk to ensure a prominent and financially secure future? There is much over-the-top drama in the actions and reactions described.
Ten years after graduation, Jessica plans to return in triumph for a class reunion. She has a secure job, but not the one she craved. She has had a beauty makeover, dresses better, and presents herself as more self-assured. She is determined to stand out and make people notice and envy her as never before.
What she does not anticipate, is that her former friends have lived with their own insecurities and dark secrets. Most now hold successful positions. The younger brother of the murdered girl has remained at the University for the past ten years and now works on campus. He has been obsessed with investigating his sister's murder and also the secrets of the past group of friends and their contacts. He has plans to expose them all. The focus is not completely on the 'new Jessica' as she had hoped. All sorts of past secrets and unsavory behavior are revealed. Suspicions grow, romantic unions are shattered, and friendships fall apart. Bedlam ensues.
Will the murderer of the girl 10 years before be revealed? Were there any accomplices and people involved in a coverup? Will justice be served? How will the fallout alter their lives? Despite my lack of enthusiasm for the plot and characters, I felt that the author, Ashley Winstead, displayed a lot of talent. I would read her next psychological thriller.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 12, 2022
this was underwhelming really, i kinda didn’t care for who it was or the character honestly. everyone says how messy this book was but this book wasn’t messy enough in my opinion. everyone’s scandals were weak. maybe i watch too many teen dramas idk, her romance book had me gasping more than this. i read thrillers for real life gasping reveals and this along with most of the thrillers i read just didn’t make the cut.
didn’t care about this friend group or their wack ass drama really. also heather being the one that died was lame it should’ve caro, she had a lot more personality and was the reason they came together. at one point i forgot heather was the one that died and when they mentioned her i was like “WHO??” i like ashley winstead but maybe i need to only read her romance novels because what the fuck was that? why is this book so hyped? the reveal wasn’t even good! what are y’all reading that i am not?
didn’t care about this friend group or their wack ass drama really. also heather being the one that died was lame it should’ve caro, she had a lot more personality and was the reason they came together. at one point i forgot heather was the one that died and when they mentioned her i was like “WHO??” i like ashley winstead but maybe i need to only read her romance novels because what the fuck was that? why is this book so hyped? the reveal wasn’t even good! what are y’all reading that i am not?
October 6, 2022
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead is a 2021 Sourcebooks Landmark publication.
At a prestigious college- a group of very close friends, ‘dubbed the East House Seven’ lose one of their own when a young woman named Heather is murdered in cold blood. The case was never solved, though a cloud of suspicion still hangs over one of the other group members. Now, a decade later, it’s time for the big ten-year class reunion, but only five of the seven will be attending. They are all in for a big shock when they discover that the reunion is also the opportunity someone has been waiting for- a chance to find out who murdered Heather and get justice once and for all...
This is an absorbing read, and a nice combination of psychological thriller/mystery-whodunit. The pacing is quick, but still gives the reader plenty of insights into the insecurities of the characters and how those same insecurities still haunt them, as their carefully hidden secrets, are brutally exposed one by one.
The novel has some surprising revelations, and one stunning final admission that I didn’t see coming. The reunion from hell ends up having some positive effects, though, and the story ends on a high note.
The only downside is that I waited too long to read this one. I realize it was only released last year, but it has come to my attention that ‘dark academia’ is a bit of a trend, which explains why I have found myself reading several other books recently with a similar theme. Unfortunately, the premise is already starting to wear thin for me.
That said, this novel is still quite effective, if not as original as I would have hoped. I did enjoy it and thought it was well-written and executed.
At a prestigious college- a group of very close friends, ‘dubbed the East House Seven’ lose one of their own when a young woman named Heather is murdered in cold blood. The case was never solved, though a cloud of suspicion still hangs over one of the other group members. Now, a decade later, it’s time for the big ten-year class reunion, but only five of the seven will be attending. They are all in for a big shock when they discover that the reunion is also the opportunity someone has been waiting for- a chance to find out who murdered Heather and get justice once and for all...
This is an absorbing read, and a nice combination of psychological thriller/mystery-whodunit. The pacing is quick, but still gives the reader plenty of insights into the insecurities of the characters and how those same insecurities still haunt them, as their carefully hidden secrets, are brutally exposed one by one.
The novel has some surprising revelations, and one stunning final admission that I didn’t see coming. The reunion from hell ends up having some positive effects, though, and the story ends on a high note.
The only downside is that I waited too long to read this one. I realize it was only released last year, but it has come to my attention that ‘dark academia’ is a bit of a trend, which explains why I have found myself reading several other books recently with a similar theme. Unfortunately, the premise is already starting to wear thin for me.
That said, this novel is still quite effective, if not as original as I would have hoped. I did enjoy it and thought it was well-written and executed.
July 23, 2021
“Spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people” - Principal Vernon, “The Breakfast Club”
Meet the infamous East House Seven, Jessica, Mint, Coop, Caro, Jack, Frankie, and Heather. The Duquette University best friends reunite for Homecoming on campus ten years after graduation. However, one of them didn’t make it. Heather was murdered Senior year by one of the seven friends. Heather’s brother, Eric, is determined to find out which one. All of them are hiding secrets from that fateful night. Who murdered Heather?
This book can best be described as every John Hughes movie wrapped into one. Winstead actually references a scene directly from Sixteen Candles and re-enacts another. One character is a jock, another a nerd, a spoiled rich girl, a girl from a religious family, a rebel etc. Perfect, you say? While I am a massive John Hughes fan and have seen all of his movies a million times, this thriller came up slightly short for me. The writing leans very YA and I had a difficult time connecting with some of the characters. I recently read and loved The Girls are All So Nice Here, which contains a similar plot and is stellar in its execution. Therefore, I found it difficult not to compare the two.
The story moves very slowly, but does contain lots of twists and turns. However, some didn’t feel realistic and others went a little too far. Kudos to Winstead, as it is difficult to see where the plot is headed before it actually goes there. Once it does, the pieces fall into place. Overall, this is a good debut thriller, and I would be willing to read more from this author.
3.5/5 stars
Thank you to Edelweiss and Sourcebooks for the ARC of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife in exchange for an honest review.
Meet the infamous East House Seven, Jessica, Mint, Coop, Caro, Jack, Frankie, and Heather. The Duquette University best friends reunite for Homecoming on campus ten years after graduation. However, one of them didn’t make it. Heather was murdered Senior year by one of the seven friends. Heather’s brother, Eric, is determined to find out which one. All of them are hiding secrets from that fateful night. Who murdered Heather?
This book can best be described as every John Hughes movie wrapped into one. Winstead actually references a scene directly from Sixteen Candles and re-enacts another. One character is a jock, another a nerd, a spoiled rich girl, a girl from a religious family, a rebel etc. Perfect, you say? While I am a massive John Hughes fan and have seen all of his movies a million times, this thriller came up slightly short for me. The writing leans very YA and I had a difficult time connecting with some of the characters. I recently read and loved The Girls are All So Nice Here, which contains a similar plot and is stellar in its execution. Therefore, I found it difficult not to compare the two.
The story moves very slowly, but does contain lots of twists and turns. However, some didn’t feel realistic and others went a little too far. Kudos to Winstead, as it is difficult to see where the plot is headed before it actually goes there. Once it does, the pieces fall into place. Overall, this is a good debut thriller, and I would be willing to read more from this author.
3.5/5 stars
Thank you to Edelweiss and Sourcebooks for the ARC of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife in exchange for an honest review.
February 20, 2022
I enjoyed every page of this outstanding book! Absolutely loved it!
I'm a fan of mysteries set in college and I like troubled narrators. This one was a fast read, a real page-turner. I found everything I crave in a thriller (multiple POV, two timelines and a clever plot) AND the characters were well-developped. At a certain point, I forgot there was a murder to solve, I was just enjoying the characters dynamics. There was even a love story (not taking too much place, but just enough to add some romantic tension).
It's definitely going to be in my 2022 top reads!
4.75 stars (because of two things in the last pages, I just can't say it was perfect and give it 5 stars)
I'm a fan of mysteries set in college and I like troubled narrators. This one was a fast read, a real page-turner. I found everything I crave in a thriller (multiple POV, two timelines and a clever plot) AND the characters were well-developped. At a certain point, I forgot there was a murder to solve, I was just enjoying the characters dynamics. There was even a love story (not taking too much place, but just enough to add some romantic tension).
It's definitely going to be in my 2022 top reads!
4.75 stars (because of two things in the last pages, I just can't say it was perfect and give it 5 stars)
September 29, 2021
Six college friends reunite at homecoming weekend a decade after graduating — This crew is brimming with dark deceit and secrets, and are forced to confront the details of a murder they’ve all tried to leave behind.
Jessica Miller is the main character in the story and she can’t wait to show her old crew, the East House Seven, how far she’s come since their college days. When she arrives at the reunion weekend though, she’s not the only one who has changed. Can anyone trust each other anymore?
I found all of the characters in this book very unlikable, however, this didn’t stop me from rapidly reading the story, suspecting everyone of being guilty at one point or another. In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is a quick, engaging, ideal for fall, suspense story.
Jessica Miller is the main character in the story and she can’t wait to show her old crew, the East House Seven, how far she’s come since their college days. When she arrives at the reunion weekend though, she’s not the only one who has changed. Can anyone trust each other anymore?
I found all of the characters in this book very unlikable, however, this didn’t stop me from rapidly reading the story, suspecting everyone of being guilty at one point or another. In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is a quick, engaging, ideal for fall, suspense story.
September 1, 2021
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife was the perfect novel for me to read last week, and I highly recommend it to my fellow thriller & mystery fans out there. If you like slow-simmering academia murder mysteries, then this is the book for you! In a nutshell, this is about a college reunion that takes a rather dark and twisted turn as a group of six friends are forced to reckon with their involvement in, and contribution to, the now 10-year-old unsolved murder of one of their own…talk about suspense at its absolute best! The mystery elements were layered, making this that much more enticing to me. This was not only deliciously suspenseful but it was just a blast to read. At times, this was reminiscent of the old '80s classic, Clue, and at other times it read quite similar to L. E. Flynn's The Girls Are All So Nice Here, which I rather enjoyed!
Jessica Miller was our ‘protagonist’ in this story; however, it did provide perspectives for each member of the East House Seven, in addition to dual timelines as the murder mystery slowly unraveled. As I got closer to the climax, I caught myself biting my nails, tapping my foot feverishly in anticipation. To say I had no idea who the actual killer was would be a complete understatement! At one point I suspected each of the six friends, and that is exactly how I want my thrillers to play out! The character development was superb, as I found myself loving as well as loathing several characters. Talk about a group of incredibly individually flawed, witty, entitled, incestuous nut jobs! The different timelines and perspectives impressively illustrated exactly why these characters were as 'effed up' as they were, making the characters even that much more authentic! Goodness, did a few of these characters have traumatic childhoods!
In addition to my love/hate relationship with the characters, I was incredibly impressed by how atmospheric this novel was. I very easily visualized walking the grounds of Duquette University, and even found myself battling a deep sense of nostalgia for the beginning of my college days at a similar institution – very well done Winstead! The combination of riveting characters, roller coaster plot twists and vivid campus setting made for quite the impressive read!
Now that I've had some time to reflect on it, I can honestly, and confidently say this novel will very likely be one of my top reads for 2021, and with the number of thrillers I read, that’s saying quite a bit! I’m officially a fan of this author and cannot wait to read her next scintillating release!!
Jessica Miller was our ‘protagonist’ in this story; however, it did provide perspectives for each member of the East House Seven, in addition to dual timelines as the murder mystery slowly unraveled. As I got closer to the climax, I caught myself biting my nails, tapping my foot feverishly in anticipation. To say I had no idea who the actual killer was would be a complete understatement! At one point I suspected each of the six friends, and that is exactly how I want my thrillers to play out! The character development was superb, as I found myself loving as well as loathing several characters. Talk about a group of incredibly individually flawed, witty, entitled, incestuous nut jobs! The different timelines and perspectives impressively illustrated exactly why these characters were as 'effed up' as they were, making the characters even that much more authentic! Goodness, did a few of these characters have traumatic childhoods!
In addition to my love/hate relationship with the characters, I was incredibly impressed by how atmospheric this novel was. I very easily visualized walking the grounds of Duquette University, and even found myself battling a deep sense of nostalgia for the beginning of my college days at a similar institution – very well done Winstead! The combination of riveting characters, roller coaster plot twists and vivid campus setting made for quite the impressive read!
Now that I've had some time to reflect on it, I can honestly, and confidently say this novel will very likely be one of my top reads for 2021, and with the number of thrillers I read, that’s saying quite a bit! I’m officially a fan of this author and cannot wait to read her next scintillating release!!
April 27, 2022
ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs ɪ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇ
ᴀsʜʟᴇʏ ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ
ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀ
ᴍʏ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ: 5★
ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ:
⚛︎ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋ, ғᴀsᴛ ᴘᴀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀs
⚛︎ ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀ ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀɪᴇs
⚛︎ ᴅᴜᴀʟ ᴛɪᴍᴇʟɪɴᴇs
⚛︎ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ sᴜʙᴘʟᴏᴛs
⚛︎ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs sᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢs
sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs: 10 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɪs ʙʀᴜᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs, ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sɪx ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴀsᴛ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ sᴇᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs ғᴏʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛs ᴀs ᴀ ʀᴇᴜɴɪᴏɴ, ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴀ ᴡʜᴏᴅᴜɴɴɪᴛ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪᴄᴛɪᴍs ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀʟsᴏ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴs ʜᴇʟʟ ʙᴇɴᴛ ᴏɴ ғɪɢᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʜɪs sɪsᴛᴇʀ.
ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs: ɪ ᴀᴍ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴀɴ ᴀsʜʟᴇʏ ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ғᴀɴ. ᴜɴʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ, ɪ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ "ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs ɪ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇ" ᴋɴᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀs ᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ. ɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴀ ᴘᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ɪs ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴀ ᴘʜᴇɴᴏᴍᴇɴᴀʟ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴɪǫᴜᴇ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴇǫᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ.
ᴍʏ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ᴡᴀs ɪɴᴛᴇɴsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟᴍᴏsᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀs. ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ's ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ɪɴ sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴅɪᴍᴇɴsɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛғᴜʟ ᴡᴀʏ, ᴇɴᴀʙʟᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟʟʏ ɢʀᴇʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴜɴᴄʜ.
ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛʟɪɴᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ғᴇʟᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴅɪᴄᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴜʀɴs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ɪ sᴛᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴇɴɢᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ғᴏʀᴇsʜᴀᴅᴏᴡᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙᴛʟᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴡᴀʏs, ʙᴜᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴀʏᴏғғ ᴀs sᴏᴏɴ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀʏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs ᴠɪʙᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs ᴏғ ɴᴏsᴛᴀʟɢɪᴀ (ᴍɪɴᴜs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ) ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴏᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜ��ʜ ᴏᴜᴛ. ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʀᴇᴄ��ᴍᴍᴇᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ.
ᴀsʜʟᴇʏ ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ
ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀ
ᴍʏ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ: 5★
ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ:
⚛︎ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋ, ғᴀsᴛ ᴘᴀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀs
⚛︎ ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀ ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀɪᴇs
⚛︎ ᴅᴜᴀʟ ᴛɪᴍᴇʟɪɴᴇs
⚛︎ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ sᴜʙᴘʟᴏᴛs
⚛︎ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs sᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢs
sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs: 10 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɪs ʙʀᴜᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs, ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sɪx ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴀsᴛ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ sᴇᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs ғᴏʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛs ᴀs ᴀ ʀᴇᴜɴɪᴏɴ, ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴀ ᴡʜᴏᴅᴜɴɴɪᴛ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪᴄᴛɪᴍs ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀʟsᴏ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴs ʜᴇʟʟ ʙᴇɴᴛ ᴏɴ ғɪɢᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʜɪs sɪsᴛᴇʀ.
ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs: ɪ ᴀᴍ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴀɴ ᴀsʜʟᴇʏ ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ғᴀɴ. ᴜɴʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ, ɪ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ "ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs ɪ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇ" ᴋɴᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀs ᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ. ɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴀ ᴘᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ɪs ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴀ ᴘʜᴇɴᴏᴍᴇɴᴀʟ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴɪǫᴜᴇ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴇǫᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ.
ᴍʏ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ᴡᴀs ɪɴᴛᴇɴsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟᴍᴏsᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇʀs. ᴡɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ's ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ɪɴ sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴅɪᴍᴇɴsɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛғᴜʟ ᴡᴀʏ, ᴇɴᴀʙʟᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟʟʏ ɢʀᴇʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴜɴᴄʜ.
ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛʟɪɴᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ғᴇʟᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴅɪᴄᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴜʀɴs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ɪ sᴛᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴇɴɢᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ғᴏʀᴇsʜᴀᴅᴏᴡᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙᴛʟᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴡᴀʏs, ʙᴜᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴀʏᴏғғ ᴀs sᴏᴏɴ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀʏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴘᴜs ᴠɪʙᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs ᴏғ ɴᴏsᴛᴀʟɢɪᴀ (ᴍɪɴᴜs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ) ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴏᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜ��ʜ ᴏᴜᴛ. ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʀᴇᴄ��ᴍᴍᴇᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ.
August 15, 2021
I'm DNFing this one because I did not enjoy the writing style (too cliché) or the usual cast of college elite characters. I found myself flipping over quite a few pages. Some passages seemed never ending and did not hold my interest.
See JaymeO's excellent review for some of the reasons I found this story derivative and unoriginal:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I also recommend Carol Walsh's review as well:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Also, the plot is driven by convenient memory gaps that stretched my credulity. The whole thing went on for far too long and the heroine's back and forth relationships with the main characters in this story (sorry, forgot all of their names already!) started grating on my nerves.)
I have no idea why the men in this story were so enthralled by Jessica. She truly was a narcissist. All her self-sacrifice at the end was too little, too late for me.
See JaymeO's excellent review for some of the reasons I found this story derivative and unoriginal:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I also recommend Carol Walsh's review as well:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Also, the plot is driven by convenient memory gaps that stretched my credulity. The whole thing went on for far too long and the heroine's back and forth relationships with the main characters in this story (sorry, forgot all of their names already!) started grating on my nerves.)
I have no idea why the men in this story were so enthralled by Jessica. She truly was a narcissist. All her self-sacrifice at the end was too little, too late for me.
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