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Kiss Number 8

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Mads is pretty happy with her life. She goes to church with her family, and minor league baseball games with her dad. She goofs off with her best friend Cat, and has thus far managed to avoid getting kissed by Adam, the boy next door. It's everything she hoped high school would be… until all of a sudden, it's not.

Her dad is hiding something big—so big it could tear her family apart. And that’s just the beginning of her problems: Mads is starting to figure out that she doesn't want to kiss Adam… because the only person she wants to kiss is Cat.

Kiss Number 8, a graphic novel from writer Colleen AF Venable and illustrator Ellen T. Crenshaw, is a layered, funny, sharp-edged story of teen sexuality and family secrets.

320 pages, Hardcover

First published March 12, 2019

About the author

Colleen A.F. Venable

40 books396 followers
You might know me from such films as "Colleen's Fourth Birthday Party" and "Colleen Falls Down Over and Over Again While Ice Skating."

Fun facts!
-I have a huge connect-the-dots tattoo.
-I accidentally started an international holiday.
(See National Pancake Day or Lumberjack Day, every Sept 26)
-I once sang back-up on an album nominated for the Polka Grammy.
-I can't sing.
-When I was 18, I broke a national coed jump-rope record.

My debut YA graphic novel Kiss Number 8 was a National Book Award Longlist title, an Eisner nominee, and a Prism award finalist.

My graphic novel series Guinea Pig, Pet Shop Private Eye (illustrated by Stephanie Yue) was nominated for an Eisner for Best Publication for Kids and awarded “Best Book” recognition from Kirkus Reviews, NYPL, Bank Street, and the Junior Library Guild.

I grew up in the trees of Walden, New York….well, not very high up the trees, since I always got scared, but I did carve my name in a lot of low hanging boughs. I had an older sister, a dog, a cat, a million fish, and an imaginary pet hamster named, yup you guessed it, Hamisher. Why have an imaginary friend when you can have an imaginary friend that can fit in your pocket!

I went to Wagner College and double majored in English and Studio Art, winning the award of “biggest dork” (aka first in my class)

I love graphic novels more than I love having feet and I really do love having feet. They keep my shoes on.

Pssst My name is actually spelled Colleen AF Venable. No punctuation. My birth name was Colleen Ann Venable, but in 1994 I asked to change my middle name to Felicity, because that's the sort of thing you do when you are 14. So I started to go by Colleen AF...mostly because I was bad at typing periods. The internet either ruined my name or made it SO MUCH COOLER. You can decide.

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5 stars
2,125 (33%)
4 stars
2,354 (37%)
3 stars
1,311 (20%)
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127 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,132 reviews
Profile Image for emma.
2,246 reviews74.2k followers
January 3, 2020
Who on earth told this 300-page YA graphic novel that it had to have a more complicated story than most 700-page high fantasy epics?

This did the absolute most for NO reason.

I mean. Some spoilers, but: It’s the story of Amanda, a girl who has kissed seven boys before realizing that she may want to kiss girls, and specifically wants to kiss her female best friend, who is lowkey homophobic, and so in the pages of this story Amanda must kiss more people and also realize her sexuality and also come out. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. She also realizes her grandmother was trans, and that at least four of her loved ones are deeply transphobic and not all that non-homophobic. And also she has more crushes. And also she kisses between 8 and 14 people, depending on how you look at it.

It’s just...way too much.

And it makes a mess of simply everything. Everything feels shallow and half-baked and incomplete. Redemption arcs happen in like half a page (so two drawings, basically).

It is frustrating and confusing and most of all a HUGE BUMMER.

Because this could have been a really powerful story.

And instead it’s...whatever this was.

Bottom line: :(

----------

this didn't really accomplish anything it hoped to. and also it broke my brain.

review to come / 1.5 stars

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i'm slightly behind on my reading challenge so you know what time it is...

GRAPHIC NOVEL COME THRU FOR ME

(thanks to First Second for the arc)
Profile Image for laurel [the suspected bibliophile].
1,731 reviews645 followers
February 16, 2019
Trigger Warning: Homophobia, Transphobia, the f-word

Mads' parents are strained, and what's worse, she thinks her dad is cheating on her mother with another woman. And her dad won't tell her anything about it. But Mads keeps her thoughts away hanging out with her best friend Cat, and kissing boys. Even if the kissing is...gross. Where's the appeal?

Then everything starts to unravel.

And everything starts to make sense.

Forgive me while I mop up the massive tears rolling down my face, k? This was an emotional roller coaster I was not expecting. I was thinking, mmm, okay, maybe 2-3 stars, nothing special, and then the second act hit and cue the mother-fucking waterworks.

But I want to start with one thing first—Cat is a colossal asshole and 100% complete hypocrite.

After that, well, there's not much I can say without spoilers, but there's a lot of figuring out who you are, and realizing that you're not alone. And that sexuality is a weird and wonderful thing, and that being trans doesn't mean that you're diseased. And that maybe what you remembered as a child isn't what actually happened, but how you rationalized events in your mind in order to survive.

This is a definite must-read, but um, get yourself in a good headspace and beware of those trigger warnings because...whew. There's some heavy shit in this. It was such a great reminder that the early 2000s were a such a shit time for gay students. But there's always hope, and you are never alone.

Although spoiler: Kiss #14 is totally my favorite.

I received this ARC from NetGalley for an honest review.
Profile Image for Tatiana.
1,464 reviews11.4k followers
April 28, 2019
This is not a light, fun kissing book. It's a story about family secrets. I didn't like how coy it was about the religious roots of the characters' bigotry. And it was odd how dated the first half of the book felt compared to the progressiveness of the ending. There was a strange disconnect there.
Profile Image for Calista.
4,772 reviews31.3k followers
May 16, 2019
It took me some time, but I got into this book.

I love how they are telling the story through who she is kissing. Kiss number 8 is a game changer for our protagonist Mads. She never finds a reason to stay with boys, but she realizes that her best friend might be more than Mads thought. Her friend is Cat, a wild and boy crazy girl. Kiss #8 was not with Cat, but it was a girl and she finds out that it feels right. This is what she has been looking for, or so she thought.

There is a lot of high drama with relationships an friendships and all the high school drama at play. Mads does go to a Catholic high school, very tiny and once she kisses the girl, her school is horrible. She is the center of gossip and no one will talk with her. She is completely alone. Sad.

There is also drama within the family. There is a mystery surrounding her grandfather. That is a rather interesting detail I side story.

It took the first third of the book to draw me in and then I couldn't put this book down. I tore through the rest of it. There are plenty of hurt feelings and queer phobias in this book. It deals with the subject well. I thought it was a good story and I enjoyed reading it. It's an interesting book.
Profile Image for Katy O..
2,656 reviews711 followers
May 19, 2019
I had to really ponder this review bc I had such high hopes that I had to grapple with the difference between what I wanted it to be and what it actually is.

As a school librarian, here’s what disappointed me and made me decide not to add it to my collection:

- the setting of the book in 2004 was only put out there in the very first panel and it could be so easily overlooked. Without that being solid for the reader, so much of it including LGBTQIA language and tech like AIM and old phones was just weird. At the almost-end it seemed much more like a modern story too but we had only passed a few months.

- the unchecked homophobia, transphobia and racism made me so uncomfortable and although I understand that the story arc led to “redemption” it was too little too late for vulnerable teens. If it were an adult memoir I could understand, but in fiction for teens - not cool. The checking can be done via expressions on faces even but in this case it wasn’t. I get the intention of the slurs as showing what it was like for queer teens in 2004 but don’t appreciate the execution.

- Mads’ sexuality was never really out there for readers until it was expressed blatantly by Jess. Her longing for Cat wasn’t all that evident and the story gave no reason for why she’d even want Cat since she was such a horrible friend.

- Undeveloped story line re: transgender family member - this could have been so much stronger and got lost in Mads’ rebellion, sexual awakening, family secret, friend drama, baseball, religion, etc.

Overall, it is a book that on the surface looks like an amazing addition to the teen LGBTQ+ market but is actually harmful. Please consider recommending LAURA DEAN KEEPS BREAKING UP WITH ME or BINGO LOVE or CHECK PLEASE or BLOOM instead.

Oh, and the art was good and I liked the layout - that’s what made me give 2 stars instead of 1.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Maia.
Author 28 books3,213 followers
March 26, 2019
This book has some pretty strong themes of homophobia and transphobia, but they are handled in possibly the most sensitive way I have ever seen in a comic. The ultimate message of the book is one of joyful self-acceptance and of a family which has been divided for many years by fear and prejudice being healing and reunited. The reason I want to state these facts at the very top of my review is that I almost put the book down after about 40 pages, feeling unsure if I would end up enjoying it. It is very, very worth it to read through the slightly rough opening to the beautiful story it unfolds into.

The lead character, Amanda, is a baseball-loving, church-going high school senior at the local Catholic high school. She has two best friends who couldn't be more different: sexually active, confident, bad-girl Cat and law-abiding Laura. When Amanda overhears a furtive phone call made by her father that seems to suggest he's having an affair, Amanda tells them both. But the family drama is much older, bigger, and stranger than she could ever have predicted. When she gets a letter from an stranger with a photo of a lost relative and an inheritance check for $30,000, she starts to investigate. On the way she uncovers family lies and personal truths which change her life forever- and for the better. The art is absolutely gorgeous, done in traditional inks with light washes. This story is set in 2004, and I appreciated the "historical details"- flip phones, AIM chat, Bush/Cheney signs, etc. Very well done, and highly recommended.
Profile Image for Dave Schaafsma.
Author 6 books31.9k followers
March 12, 2020
I really liked this National Book award nominee a lot. The art is lively and the dialogue is even livelier. Amanda (Mads) is a student at a small Catholic high school and she is part of a devout Catholic family. The book is attractively framed by a series of head shots of the seven boys and one girl she had at that point kissed (which reminded me of Mari Naomi's Kiss and Tell: A Romantic Resume, Ages 0 to 22). The eighth kiss was by far the most dramatic for her, as her family has a history of denouncing their transgendered grandfather. They are decidedly trans-and homophobic, but guess which way Mads is leaning at this point. (Yeah, and the best kiss was with Laura, though Laura was not into it. Mads kissed (and more) Adam, Laura’s brother, but eh, no electricity. Maybe her friend Cat?

Get this: Amanda’s best friend is her Dad, who is way fun, but also, unfortunately, hates the whole range of glbtq humans as immoral. Until Mads comes out, using the family history to in part address the issue. I like the q part of the process, her exploring what she wants, who she is, and even after she comes out she crushes on a gay boy and sure enough, kisses him. We also get pictures of other boys and girls she kisses, too, at the end. Mads’s sexual identity seems fluid at this still early point.

Like I said, lively, brings the energy, great dialogue, good and ultimately positive, queer-affirming story. It takes its sweet time getting going, but the sweetness wins you over, ultimately.
Profile Image for Rod Brown.
6,383 reviews235 followers
May 19, 2019
I found myself totally engaged with this family drama despite its fairly slow pace and a possibly triggering amount of . I didn't feel nearly done with these characters by the end, and I'd love to see the last dozen pages expanded to another 300-page graphic novel.
Profile Image for Erica.
1,420 reviews480 followers
June 6, 2019
2 stars for the story, additional star for the artwork.

You may have seen other reviews saying the cover art does not match the interior story. This is true.
You may have seen other reviews saying there are a lot of plotlines in this book and none of them are really given full service, especially the tale of a transman, and the end result is chaotic. Also true.
You may have seen other reviews saying this takes place in 2004 which makes no sense for a book that's supposed to be aimed at contemporary youth, some of whom wouldn't even have been alive in 2004. So very true.
I'd like to add that I have not been able to confirm this is an #ownvoices story which leads me to question why it was written. Ok, I know why it was written; the author and illustrator include an interview they did with each other in the back of the book and the author mentions she was inspired to write this story - in 2004 - when her sister came out. But this isn't a story of allyship, this is the story of a teenager questioning gender roles and her sexuality. I suppose this could be aimed at kids who have friends who are LGBTQA+ but for the kids exploring their own sex and gender ideals, this may be more painful than useful.

In this case, I think it's the art that carries the story. There is so much emotion in the characters' body languages, so much being told via illustration that's not told in text. In some cases, the two oppose one another - a character is telling a story in text while the actual story is playing out in pictures.

While I liked the idea behind this, I don't feel it was executed well nor do I strongly believe it was told by the person(s) who should be telling this story. Other reviews suggest better stories of LGBTQA+ youth and those may be worth looking into if this one seems like it's not going to please you as a reader.
Profile Image for Juan Naranjo.
Author 14 books3,624 followers
November 13, 2019
Este cómic tiene uno de los tramos finales más emocionantes que recuerdo. Me he ido enamorando página a página de la historia de Mads, una adolescente que empieza a descubrir quién es justo cuando tiene que desentrañar un secreto familiar que ha mantenido a su familia sumida en el odio desde hace décadas.

‘El beso número 8’ tiene cuatro gigantescas bondades: la de ser una de esas raras historias LGBT en la que los personajes LGBT además de ser LGBT también hacen más cosas; la de contar una historia adolescente en la que los personajes realmente son adolescentes que actúan como adolescentes; la de entender la sexualidad cómo realmente la entiende la Generación Z; y la de ser un cómic emocionante, educativo, diverso y modernísimo sin tener ningún interés en dar lecciones a nadie y contando las cosas de una forma muy parecida a como suceden en la vida real.

Ha sido precioso ser testigo de cómo Mads se descubre a sí misma (con todo el drama y las dificultades que ello supone en el ámbito familiar, social y entre las amistades) mientras que descubría el gran secreto sobre quién era realmente su abuelo. Este es el tipo de libro que me gustaría que los adolescentes leyesen: los LGTB para que vean historias tan bonitas como la suya propia, los no LGTB para que vean historias tan bonitas como la suya propia. Así de igual, así de sencillo.

Un diez para las autoras y para la editorial por sacar, en pocos meses, otro cómic juvenil con contenido LGTB que sólo es comparable en forma y mensaje al sobresaliente “Laura Dean me ha vuelto a dejar” que recomiendo en igual medida. Historias como estas dos son las que cambian el mundo.
Profile Image for Lydia Wallace.
440 reviews77 followers
February 20, 2019
A great book. Mads is pretty happy with her life. She goes to church with her family and minor league baseball games with her dad. She goofs off with her best friend, Cat, and had far managed to avoid getting kissed by Adam, the boy next door. It's everything she hoped high school would be...until all of a sudden, it's not. A must read. I truly enjoyed this book.
Profile Image for Renata.
2,728 reviews425 followers
July 22, 2019
I read a review of this that referred to it as "historical fiction set in 2004," and I immediately crumbled into a pile of dust. But then I read it and realized that this is definitely a distinct historical era from 2019, and honestly I think that for this to be a book for teens to read, it could have benefitted from some more contextualizing? Like, at multiple times a key plot point is how when a new AIM chat window pops up, whatever you're typing jumps into that new window, and like sometimes you wouldn't notice that happening and you'd just hit enter and then accidentally send some nonsense to the wrong person?? Remember that? (If yes: you are old) But anyway I don't think Today's Teens remember that and a lot of the technology focus on the plot seems like it might be kind of nonsensical?

Also a lot of the language characters use about transgender characters is now out-of-date and obviously some of it is stuff that would have been in use in 2004 (a lot of it is stuff that would have been offensive in 2004, and it is used by characters who are shitty people, but it is like...a really really harsh middle of the book for the biggest trans character in the book).

This would make more sense to me if it were a memoir aimed at adults? (It's not a memoir, it's fiction, but just...that would be a good reason, to me, for this to be set in 2004.)

IDK, I think this is trying to grapple with some big issues (religion, coming out, family secrets, being transgender, being queer, how to be a good friend/ally.....) and I maybe admire the attempt but maybe not all of the execution?

The art...is good.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for McKinlay.
1,083 reviews44 followers
February 4, 2019
*I received an ARC of this book from netgalley and the publisher. This does not affect my review.*

DNF at page 166

TW: transphobia

I’m genuinely baffled why this has such good reviews that call it “light hearted.” I was annoyed basically from the start. Mads is incredibly disrespectful toward her parents, ESPECIALLY her mom, who she repeatedly calls a bitch AND doesn’t tell her friend to NOT talk about her mom. I get not liking your mom, but there’s a line, okay? You don’t let your friends call your mom a bitch. You just don’t!

That wasn’t the worst offense though. There are some seriously transphobic comments made by the MC’s dad. Like, i think it could be really harmful to trans teens, and children of trans parents. Because I quit, I don’t know if he came around but after Mads’ “best friend” outted the trans character I was done.

I think if this book wasn't marketed as like a cute coming of age queer graphic novel, I would maybe have been less frustrated. But the back of this book makes it seem like it's just a girl kind of realizing she might like girls. That is definitely NOT what I took from it.

0/10 do not recommend.
Profile Image for Lauren Lanz.
813 reviews287 followers
February 14, 2020
This was the first graphic novel I’ve read that’s even slightly problematic.

Kiss Number 8 follows Amanda, a girl who has kissed 7 people in the past and is still learning to discover herself and her sexuality with the upcoming 8th kiss.

That was a real simple, very vague description. This graphic novel contains far too many complex plotlines, rendering each one of them underdeveloped and nearly meaningless. Many of the characters were unlikeable because the author chose to make them that way. The others were ruined by rushed ‘redemption arcs’ that happened over a span of roughly two drawings. I was also slightly jarred by the lack of trigger warnings that came with this book, as it should be mentioned that this contains blatant homophobia and transphobia.

This story wasn’t all bad, though. I liked the protagonist’s journey of self discovery, despite it becoming lost in all of the other side-plots.

The art style in this graphic novel was also really appealing. I especially loved how the main character was portrayed.

I definitely would not recommend this to anyone looking for an LGBTQ graphic novel. Instead, I would suggest ones like Bloom, Check, Please! Book 1: # Hockey or Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me. Those are all books that handle the topic of sexuality far better than this one does.
Profile Image for Amy Bruestle.
273 reviews221 followers
April 25, 2019
This is my first graphic novel/comic book style of writing that was in an actual chapter book length that I’ve ever read. I was hesitant at first because I generally steer clear of this type of writing. The only reason I gave it a chance was because of the topic.

I still don’t think I will ever be into this type of book, and definitely don’t see myself searching out other similar books. However, I was pleasantly surprised about how well the comic book themed writing still read like a normal novel! I was able to follow it easily and I was able to remember everything without a problem.

I had a few issues with the story itself though. I didn’t like how the author didn’t spend much time or energy on background for “Sam” and I felt like the book was a bit all over the place as far as “the point of the book” went. They didn’t really touch on “being lesbian” until the last part of the book...which is the main reason I wanted to read the book to begin with. So that was kind of disappointing. I just felt like the book didn’t have very much depth, if that makes sense. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t what it could be. I would’ve liked to learn more about each of the characters and maybe have more of their perspective on things too. I don’t know. Something was for sure missing.

All in all, I don’t regret reading this, but I don’t think I’ll ever pick one up in the future!
Profile Image for Casper.
2 reviews
December 29, 2019
I think the book was a bit clunkier than it should have been. It would have been a touching bi coming of age story but the trans representation in this story fell very short for me. Too many opportunities for a reader to put the book down before any of the ways that Sam was spoken about were addressed as problematic. What was addressed as negative was really wishy-washy and vague. The other trans character’s dialogue did not feel authentic to me. It felt like the way that cis people imagine trans folks feel.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jay G.
1,466 reviews452 followers
November 18, 2018
Want to see more bookish things from me? Check out my youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfer...

Thank you to First:Second and Raincoast books for sending me a copy of this in exchange for my honest review

4.5/5 Stars

Amanda's best friend Cat is surrounded by drama and loves kissing boys. Trying to fit in, Amanda has had 7 kisses in her 16 years of life which have been...unremarkable at best. But nothing compares to how awful Kiss number 8 was and what follows afterwards. Not to mention that her family seems to be hiding a big secret from her. Now, with a secret of her own, Amanda tries to navigate between falling for her best friend and trying to figure out what her parents are hiding.

I loved this so much. I loved Amanda, she was such a great character who dealt with so much in such a short period of time. I think the themes and topics explored were so well done and thought out. I loved watching her figure out who she was and come to terms with what that meant for her, her family and those around her. I also loved how the family secret was dealt with and explored as well! The character development of ALL the characters, not just Amanda was so nice to see. I also love how the ending isn't completely neat and perfect. Not everything works out, but that's how life is. I also cried at the ending, so there is that.

I really loved the artwork in this! My one complaint is that there was no colour at all... I think it would have been nice to use the blues from the cover with little pops of colour here and there, but the black and white still worked for this story. Usually I am not a fan of just black and white panels, but that's just me!

Highly recommend this one!
Profile Image for Eilonwy.
857 reviews215 followers
September 6, 2019
I'm throwing some graphic novels in to get my GR Reading Challenge caught up! :-)

Amanda "Mads" Orham attends Catholic school and Mass every Sunday with her best friends Cat and Laura, and minor league baseball games after church with her dad -- "my best friend!" -- and Adam, Laura's younger brother, who's crushing on Amanda. Amanda's curious about boys and kissing, but none of the kisses seem to stick. While Amanda tries to juggle her friendships with bad-girl Cat and buttoned-up Laura, her father is having furtive phone conversations with a woman named Dina, and both he and her mom seem to be keeping some pretty big secrets from her.
I had no idea what to expect from this book. I had some clue going in that it was an LGBTQ finding-yourself story, but this had a depth and layers of complexity that took me by surprise, in a good way.

The story starts off a tad slowly, which turned out to be good, because by the time the Big Stuff started happening, I understood the nuances of the relationships between all the various characters, and I was fully invested in both what Amanda might find out about that family secret (which is huge indeed, and entirely unpredictable), and about herself.

I don't want to say too much about the story. As it picks up steam, it also carries a lot of emotional weight that hits hard. Amanda's confusion about herself leads her to make a Niagara Falls of terrible choices that made me cringe. There's some absolutely vitriolic transphobia and homophobia expressed in these pages that was difficult to read and made me realize what a sheltered life I live in the Boston area and as an adult (I'm boringly straight but nevertheless was the target of homophobic slurs when I was in junior/high school; what a relief to leave that behind). But after the horribleness, Amanda finds some whole new experiences, a new outlook (including about her mother, whose characterization is just terrific), and some hard-earned maturity.

This is a book that's an excellent first read, and probably even a better reread.

And it ends with a very charming interview of each other between the writer and artist that was just as enjoyable as the book itself.

Highly recommended. But be aware that despite the cuteness of the cover, this is one hard-hitting, complicated story.
Profile Image for Raina.
1,662 reviews152 followers
March 13, 2020
I sure love me a solid YA graphic novel!
And this is definitely one of those.

This tells the story of the first few romantic experiences in the life of one Mads, a relatively privileged teen. There's a kid next door who's had a crush on her forever, she has a best friend who has very different impulses from Mads, and then a sequence of events causes her to experience her first few kisses. Eight kisses, to be exact. There's also a family history/trauma plotline. I loved the queer visibility here.
This reminded me a bit of MariNaomi's Kiss and Tell: A Romantic Resume, Ages 0 to 22, and I would be shocked if it wasn't at least a little bit inspired by that work.

The illustrations are black and white, varying panel placement, easy to follow. This edition includes a Q&A between the author and illustrator at the end that runs 7 pages in pretty small font.

I'm curious about the choice to draw the best friend, Johanna, in a pretty distinctively different style than the rest of the characters. They're all lined up in the backmatter, and it almost looks like a different illustrator drew her to me. I get the sense that the team is trying to include a wider variety of body types (I would describe this character as curvy), but to me, she kind of sticks out like a sore thumb as basically the only major character exception to the rule of "average" bodies (misnomer alert). Her face is also drawn in a distinctly different way from the rest of the major characters.
Maybe there's an intentional plot/pov element to this difference, but it didn't quite work for me.

Candy. I love it.
Profile Image for Oriana.
Author 2 books3,625 followers
February 7, 2021
It feels impossible to review this book actually, which was an absolute knock-down fucking wonder, both because it unfolds so tenderly and surprisingly that to clumsily and haphazardly crash through the plot would do it a great disservice, and also because Colleen is a very old (in time, not age!!) friend of mine and the co-founder of my ladies' graphic novel book club, and if I blurt too much out about how in awe I am of this book, it will probably be hard to look at her normally at our next meeting.

What the hell, how to even navigate all this. Listen: This book is fucking stunning, filled with tweens you want to hug so hard as they drag themselves through their traumas and awakenings. It treats very serious topics with grace and delicacy and treats its characters with respect and kindness even when they are being dicks. It feels extremely of the moment in its treatment of queerness and the forging of identity, even though I know it was some 10 years in the making—just goes to show how marvelously ahead-of-her time enlightened my pal Colleen happens to be. It's messy and complicated and devastating and redemptive, and here I've done what I said I wouldn't, gotten too weirdly rapturous, so I will stop.

But please for heck's sake read this beautiful, beautiful book!!!

Profile Image for Lata.
4,291 reviews233 followers
June 2, 2020
A little slow to get started, though it was necessary to lay the groundwork for all the things that were happening in this story. And a lot were! Not only is Amanda “Mandy” beginning to realize that she’d like to kiss her best friend, Cat (who is the worst friend!), but she’s also finding out that there’s more to her paternal family than she was ever told. Additionally, Mandy discovers that her father and grandfather, her friends, and much of her private Catholic school are homophobic and transphobic, further complicating her view of her sexuality.
This was, despite my initial concern that the story wasn’t moving forward, a sweet story that deals well with a young person trying to figure out who she is, who she can rely on, parents can lie to make themselves feel better, parents can be cruel and unable to look past their prejudices, friends can let you down when you need them, or when you don’t conform to who they want you to be, and figuring out one’s sexuality is a process.
The artwork was wonderfully expressive, and did a great job of conveying Mandy’s emotions through everything she was dealing with.
This was well worth a read.
Profile Image for Sabrina.
3 reviews2 followers
April 19, 2019
I had high hopes for this graphic novel since it was labeled LGBTQ+. As most of the reviews have revealed there is a lot of homophobia in this book. While I can understand putting that type of content in a book to create a backstory but it seems to be a little heavy handed and not REALLY sending a positive message out to queer youth. I really liked the graphics but I think the story could have been so much more with a lot less hatred in it's characters.
Profile Image for Enne.
718 reviews111 followers
May 13, 2019
This is a book that younger me probably could have used and would have enjoyed which, if I'm being honest, is the reason I picked it up in the first place. I was expecting to be a story about a girl figuring out she doesn't like boys, or she doesn't just like boys. And while that was still a part of the story, the way the girl gets to figuring out that she's Not Straight is incredibly fucked up. I'm not going to go into detail, but there is a lot of dead-naming and misgendering involved, in addition to a transgender's person identity being used as a plot twist and in order to further the plot, which is very yikes, at least in my eyes. And I don't care that the dead-naming and misgendering could have been to make a point, I don't think it's ever okay to do that, especially as it was never made clear that that kind of behavior is not okay.
Profile Image for Genesee Rickel.
645 reviews45 followers
Read
December 4, 2019
Honestly, I had a hard time with this one. I liked the art, the minor league baseball bits, and the public school resolution. But it was really hard to read through all the transphobia, homophobia, racism, and fatphobia. Set in 2004, this book reminded me why I did NOT come out in high school (I'm a 2007 grad), why I shoved those thoughts and feelings away. I'm not 100% opposed to books having transphobic, homophobic, etc. content, as long as it is thoroughly addressed. I think this book could have done better on that front. Do families like this exist? Yep! So maybe someone will get more out of this than I did. I just... struggled. I also didn't like Cat at all, but she reminded me of people I knew and was friends with in high school. So, true to life? Ick. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to those times.
Profile Image for Romie.
1,169 reviews1,369 followers
Shelved as 'could-not-finish'
March 4, 2020
would have needed some serious trigger warnings for homophobia and transphobia
I only made it through 50 pages before deciding that I couldn't take it anymore, it didn't make me happy in the least
Profile Image for Rachel Sperber.
393 reviews10 followers
January 9, 2019
Not sure what to think of this one. I was frustrated upon reaching the middle point of the novel at the poor portrayal of a transgender man who just wanted to love his family and live his life and the hatred and shame his family displayed and felt.
This family’s ‘dark secret of the past’ is mirrored in Amanda’s journey through adolescence as she explores different aspects of growing up, from partying to kissing a few people and feeling peer pressure.
The story does turn as she discovers she’s bisexual. Within her small Catholic school, she is cast out by her friends, peers, and her father, and she struggles to find her way back to happiness and in doing so, reconnects to her mother and step-Grandma in the process. It was a lovely and happy ending.
The art of this graphic novel is good, and the lesson of family’s making progress over time was ultimately heartwarming. I don’t know how desirable reading the hate speech spewing out of the father’s and grandparent’s mouths is to anyone actually discovering a non-heteronormative sexuality within a religious community, even if it is relatable to someone’s lived experiences. I find it curious that the transgender reveal isn’t mentioned in the summary of the book in terms of initially showing more representation.
The last tidbit that bothered me was how some of the art panels didn’t quite fit for me. I couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on because they didn’t connect easily to the other context of the page and it definitely took me out of the story trying to figure out what was going on.
Overall, somewhat heartwarming end, but the journey is filled with ignorant people spewing hatred. Not sure how relatable this story is, even to it’s target audience. I’m all for diversity, but maybe this isn’t the delivery needed.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Mary Thomas.
377 reviews11 followers
November 28, 2019
Honestly not sure who I would hand this book to. I get that it’s set in 2004 but a lot of the homophobia and transphobia is just out there and I worry about that being harmful. If it were a memoir, or if it had been narrated in hindsight there would be an opportunity for speech bubbles/thought bubbles to be like “I knew what they were saying was wrong but didn’t realize how offensive it is”. We have a copy in my library, but we won’t be getting more and I probably won’t recommend/book talk this to kids.
Profile Image for Erin.
163 reviews70 followers
February 9, 2021
3.5 stars. I liked the first maybe two thirds, but then it got pretty rushed and confusing, and I felt like a lot of Amanda's issues with figuring out her sexuality came out of nowhere.

TWs: transphobia, homophobia, d slur, outing
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