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200 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1967
Melanie was fifteen years old, beautiful and had never even been out with a boy, when, for example, Juliet had been married and dead of love at fourteen. She felt that she was growing old. Cupping her bare breasts, which were tipped as pinkly as the twitching noses of white rabbits, she thought: ‘Physically, I have probably reached my peak and can do nothing but deteriorate from now on. Or, perhaps, mature.’ But she did not want to think she might not be already perfect.
Outside was a weatherless London morning, a mean monotone, sunless, rainless, a cool nothing. This, she thought, was her own climate. No extremes, ever again. Fear no more the heat o’ the sun and all that. She was in limbo and would be for the rest of her life, if you could call it a life, dragging out its weary length with no more great joys or fearful griefs for her, for her blood was running too thin to bear them. And she was only fifteen. It was appalling.
She could not move or speak. She waited in an agony of apprehension. If it was going to happen, it must happen and then she would know what it was like to be kissed, which she did not know, now. At least she would have that much more experience, even if it was only Finn who kissed her. His hair was marigolds or candle flames. She shuddered to see his discoloured teeth.
’If all my perhapses came home to roost, I’d be feeding the pig in my Galway smallholding this very minute.’
Flocks of brown-feathered perhapses flapped ragged, witless wings against the windows. She could hear their clucking and squawking. But this one sad, wet hen fluttered inside the house. A miracle.
"The summer she was fifteen, Melanie discovered she was made of flesh and blood. O, my America, my new found land. She embarked on a tranced voyage, exploring the whole of herself, clambering her mountain ranges, penetrating the moist richness of her secret valleys, a physiological Cortez, da Gama or Mungo Park. For hours she stared at herself, naked, in the mirror of her wardrobe; she would follow with her finger the elegant structure of her rib-cage, where the heart fluttered under the flesh like a bird under a blanket, and she would draw down the long line from breast-bone to navel (which was a mysterious cavern or grotto), and she would rasp her palms against her bud-wing shoulderblades. And she would writhe about, clasping herself, laughing, sometimes doing cartwheels and handstands out of sheer exhilaration at the supple surprise of herself now she was no longer a little girl."
"Please God, let me get married. Or, let me have sex...Or at least, let me remember that I had sex."
"Since she was thirteen, when her periods began, she had felt she was pregnant with herself, bearing the slowly ripening embryo of Melanie-grown-up inside herself for a gestation time the length of which she was not precisely aware."
"I shall go down
Into the garden.
Into the night."
"No make-up, mind. And only speak when you're spoken to. He likes, you know, silent women."
"How could she, Melanie, have ever guessed her uncle would be a monster with a voice so loud she was afraid it would bring the roof down and bury them all?"
"At night, in the garden, they faced each other in a wild surmise."
Melanie prayed: 'Please God, let me get married. Or, let me have sex.' She had given up believing in God when she was thirteen. One morning, she woke up and He wasn't there.~ as well as receptive to whispers of sensuality:
She examined the wedding dress more closely. It seemed a strange way to dress up just in order to lose your virginity.Carter's heroine regularly presents her longings through a prism of erotic innocence:
His breast rose up from the pyjama top like the prow of a boat cresting a wave.It's not long into the novel, however, before tragedy strikes, leaving Melanie and her younger siblings orphans - and in the care (though you can't call it that) of their puppeteer uncle, Philip.
«La habitación estaba llena de las vidas desconocidas de otras personas. La marca de una quemadura en el mantel tenía su propia historia secreta (…)»