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The Humans

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When an extraterrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. Taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, a leading mathematician at Cambridge University, the visitor wants to complete his task and return home to his planet and a utopian society of immortality and infinite knowledge.

He is disgusted by the way humans look, what they eat, and the wars they witness on the news, and is totally baffled by concepts such as love and family. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this weird species than he has been led to believe. He drinks wine, reads Emily Dickinson, listens to Talking Heads, and begins to bond with the family he lives with, in disguise. In picking up the pieces of the professor's shattered personal life, the narrator sees hope and redemption in the humans' imperfections and begins to question the very mission that brought him there--a mission that involves not only thwarting human progress...but murder.

285 pages, Hardcover

First published May 9, 2013

About the author

Matt Haig

116 books41.9k followers
Matt Haig is the author of novels such as The Midnight Library, How to Stop Time, The Humans, The Radleys, and the forthcoming The Life Impossible. He has also written books for children, such as A Boy Called Christmas, and the memoir Reasons to Stay Alive.

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5 stars
50,215 (36%)
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25,307 (18%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 15,577 reviews
Profile Image for Karen Cole.
1,028 reviews147 followers
July 15, 2023
In August 2012 my brother died by suicide. In the dark days and weeks immediately after his death I read almost incessantly. I couldn't sleep because when I closed my eyes all I could see was his body (I had to go to the mortuary with my father to formally identify his body.) When I was awake I read so I could bear the raw grief ripping at my heart. I believe that it's thanks to books I survived those days, I'm not sure how I'd have coped without books giving me a respite from my at times overwhelming reality.

The Humans wasn't published then but I wish it had been. It tells the story of an alien sent from the planet Vonnadoria to remove all evidence of the solving of the Riemann hypothesis (the key to prime numbers which guarantee a huge technological leap for mankind) by eminent Cambridge professor Andrew Martin. The Vonnadorians are horrified by this breakthrough as they see humans as a primitive, violent race not ready for the advancements the solving of the hypothesis will bring. An unnamed alien is therefore sent to Earth on a mission to ensure humankind remains unaware that this secret has been solved. He kills Martin then inhabits his body in order to infiltrate his life and erase all traces of his discovery, by removing all technological evidence and by killing anybody he may have told.
The first part of the book has several comic moments, the alien arrives knowing nothing of human life and finds himself naked and without language on a motorway. Matt Haig has held a magnifying glass to humans here and through the eyes of the alien Andrew we see our often irrational absurdity.
As the book progresses it becomes more poignant, Martin learns more about what it means to be human, thanks partly to a dog, peanut butter and Emily Dickinson. The 97 point list that features in the book is perhaps the book's shining moment, Matt's skillful blending of the emotional with the humorous means he avoids this list becoming saccharine and it is genuinely moving, my favourite point being "It's not the length of life that matters. It's the depth. But while burrowing, keep the sun above you."
The Humans is a beautifully written insight into what it means to be a human and how pain, sorrow and fear are a necessary part of that. With my grief not being a linear process there are days when I am hit again with an almost unbearable sadness. I know that on those days I will turn once more to The Humans. I don't ever feel suicidal but there are times when I question what it means to live. When I read The Humans I am given an answer.
Profile Image for Emily (Books with Emily Fox on Youtube).
612 reviews67.3k followers
January 7, 2019
4.5? This book totally surprised me!

DON'T READ THIS IN PUBLIC THOUGH

I started reading this on the bus and couldn't stop giggling like a madwoman! In this book, you're following an alien sent to stop human mathematical progress. He steals the body of the human he's sent to kill and we get to discover humans through his eyes. His mission is to kill anyone that might know about the mathematical equation but things don't go as planned...

It quickly becomes more than just a funny book and I don't want to say more except... there's a dog. So yeah, needless to say, if you're in a sci-fi/literary fiction mood, you just need to give it a shot!

PS Get the edition with the dog on it... not the one with that ugly thing humans have in the middle of their face!
Profile Image for Nina (ninjasbooks).
1,285 reviews1,064 followers
May 24, 2023
Sitting down with a Matt Haig book always makes me happy. I just know from the get-go that I’m in for a lovely story. The humans made me chuckle and gave me a warm feeling inside. The plot was perfect for making you think about what matters in life, since we see the world anew from the alien’s perspective. The beginning is delightful, since the alien in its human form walks around without clothes and is arrested. I laughed a lot the first chapters. After that, I was fully invested and my emotions continued to be tugged at. The ending was perfect, and I can’t do anything else than give the book five stars.
Profile Image for Riku Sayuj.
658 reviews7,414 followers
November 26, 2014

“I know that some of you reading this are convinced humans are a myth, but I am here to state that they do actually exist. For those that don’t know, a human is a real bipedal life form of midrange intelligence, living a largely deluded existence on a small waterlogged planet in a very lonely corner of the universe.”


Encountering the Alien

This must be one of the most muted and personal alien invasion stories that you will come across. As the narrator admits, this is more magical realism than science fiction in many ways.

Haig displays a wise understanding of the human condition and exploits to the hilt the vantage point that he has given his narrator. Many anthropological, sociological and evolutionary texts often invite the reader to view the world as if it is being viewed from an alien sociologist/scientist’s perspective. Haig converts that into a novel length observation about the humans, and adds a twist: instead of observing only from a constant alien perspective, he makes the vantage point an ever shifting one - that of a continually evolving perspective that is moving closer and closer to that of the human.

So we are given a picture of how alien the human race is at first glance, and how familiarity is the only way to reconcile with the many contradictions of the human condition, and how when you then look back, it is impossible to identify what exact elements turned you off in the beginning. While this is in an alien-human context in this book, this process is also applicable to any new encounter with an ‘alien’ culture among us humans too. And as many other sci-fi books demonstrate, this is a fully two-way street. You cannot meet an alien culture that you cannot love - if you don't, the fault must be more in you than in the culture.

I have made this sound more philosophical than it is. And I am not doing the novel justice. Haig does all this with a very light touch, keeping a steady dose of unassuming British humor. The plot is kept entertaining though its overall nature is very predictable, but as Haig takes pains to show, the beauty is in the small details. That is what makes the human species worth preserving. At first glance no alien race would be able to resist the temptation to exterminate a dangerous, almost rabid, species like ours. Given time, we just might charm them though.

Disclaimer: The novel makes a good case for the humans. I am not entirely convinced.



Post Script: Advice From a Distance

The narrator decides to give some advice to fellow humans and comes up with some cliched (yet wise) gems. A selection:

1. Shame is a shackle. Free yourself.
2. Don’t worry about your abilities. You have the ability to love. That is enough.
3. Be nice to other people. At the universal level, they are you.
4. Technology won’t save humankind. Humans will.
6. Be curious. Question everything. A present fact is just a future fiction.
7. Irony is fine, but not as fine as feeling.
8. Peanut butter sandwiches go perfectly well with a glass of white wine. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
9. Sometimes, to be yourself you will have to forget yourself and become something else. Your character is not a fixed thing. You will sometimes have to move to keep up with it.
10. History is a branch of mathematics. So is literature. Economics is a branch of religion.
11. Sex can damage love but love can’t damage sex.
12. The news should start with mathematics, then poetry, and move down from there.
13. You shouldn’t have been born. Your existence is as close to impossible as can be. To dismiss the impossible is to dismiss yourself.
14. Your life will have 25,000 days in it. Make sure you remember some of them.
15. The road to snobbery is the road to misery. And vice versa.
16. Tragedy is just comedy that hasn’t come to fruition. One day we will laugh at this. We will laugh at everything.
17. Wear clothes, by all means, but remember they are clothes.
18. One life form’s gold is another life form’s tin can.
19. Read poetry. Especially poetry by Emily Dickinson. It might save you. Anne Sexton knows the mind, Walt Whitman knows grass, but Emily Dickinson knows everything.
22. Don’t worry about being angry. Worry when being angry becomes impossible. Because then you have been consumed.
23. Happiness is not out here. It is in there.
24. New technology, on Earth, just means something you will laugh at in five years. Value the stuff you won’t laugh at in five years. Like love. Or a good poem. Or a song. Or the sky.
25. There is only one genre in fiction. The genre is called ‘book’.
28. Your mother should write a novel. Encourage her.
29. If there is a sunset, stop and look at it. Knowledge is finite. Wonder is infinite.
30. Don’t aim for perfection. Evolution, and life, only happen through mistakes.
31. Failure is a trick of the light.
32. You are human. You will care about money. But realise it can’t make you happy because happiness is not for sale.
33. You are not the most intelligent creature in the universe. You are not even the most intelligent creature on your planet. The tonal language in the song of a humpback whale displays more complexity than the entire works of Shakespeare. It is not a competition. Well, it is. But don’t worry about it.
36. One day humans will live on Mars. But nothing there will be more exciting than a single overcast morning on Earth.
38. Walt Whitman was right about at least one thing. You will contradict yourself. You are large. You contain multitudes.
39. No one is ever completely right about anything. Anywhere.
40. Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you they just don’t quite understand the joke that is themselves.
42. In a thousand years, if humans survive that long, everything you know will have been disproved. And replaced by even bigger myths.
43. Everything matters.
44. You have the power to stop time. You do it by kissing. Or listening to music. Music, by the way, is how you see things you can’t otherwise see. It is the most advanced thing you have. It is a superpower. Keep up with the bass guitar. You are good at it. Join a band.
46. A paradox. The things you don’t need to live – books, art, cinema, wine and so on – are the things you need to live.
47. A cow is a cow even if you call it beef.
48. No two moralities match. Accept different shapes, so long as they aren’t sharp enough to hurt.
50. At some point, bad things are going to happen. Have someone to hold on to.
52. If you are laughing, check that you don’t really want to cry. And vice versa.
53. Don’t ever be afraid of telling someone you love them. There are things wrong with your world, but an excess of love is not one.
55. You are not the only species on Earth with technology. Look at ants. Really. Look. What they do with twigs and leaves is quite amazing.
57. There are a lot of idiots in your species. Lots and lots. You are not one of them. Hold your ground.
60. Obey your head. Obey your heart. Obey your gut. In fact, obey everything except commands.
61. One day, if you get into a position of power, tell people this: just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should. There is a power and a beauty in unproved conjectures, unkissed lips and unpicked flowers.
63. It’s not the technique, it’s the method. It’s not the words, it’s the melody.
64. Be alive. That is your supreme duty to the world.
65. Don’t think you know. Know you think.
66. As a black hole forms it creates an immense gamma-ray burst, blinding whole galaxies with light and destroying millions of worlds. You could disappear at any second. This one. Or this one. Or this one. Make sure, as often as possible, you are doing something you’d be happy to die doing.
67. War is the answer. To the wrong question.
73. No one will understand you. It is not, ultimately, that important. What is important is that you understand you.
74. A quark is not the smallest thing. The wish you have on your death-bed – to have worked harder – that is the smallest thing. Because it won’t be there.
75. Politeness is often fear. Kindness is always courage. But caring is what makes you human. Care more, become more human.
76. In your mind, change the name of every day to Saturday. And change the name of work to play.
77. When you watch the news and see members of your species in turmoil, do not think there is nothing you can do. But know it is not done by watching news.
78. You get up. You put on your clothes. And then you put on your personality. Choose wisely.
80. Language is euphemism. Love is truth.
81. You can’t find happiness looking for the meaning of life. Meaning is only the third most important thing. It comes after loving and being.
82. If you think something is ugly, look harder. Ugliness is just a failure of seeing.
83. A watched pot never boils. That is all you need to know about quantum physics.
85. The Dark Ages never ended.
86. To like something is to insult it. Love it or hate it. Be passionate. As civilisation advances, so does indifference. It is a disease. Immunise yourself with art. And love.
89. At the sub-atomic level, everything is complex. But you do not live at the sub-atomic level. You have the right to simplify. If you don’t, you will go insane.
90. But know this. Men are not from Mars. Women are not from Venus. Do not fall for categories. Everyone is everything. Every ingredient inside a star is inside you, and every personality that ever existed competes in the theatre of your mind for the main role.
91. You are lucky to be alive. Inhale and take in life’s wonders. Never take so much as a single petal of a single flower for granted.
92. If you have children and love one more than another, work at it. They will know, even if it’s by a single atom less. A single atom is all you need to make a very big explosion.
93. School is a joke. But go along with it, because you are very near to the punchline.
94. You don’t have to be an academic. You don’t have to be anything. Don’t force it. Feel your way, and don’t stop feeling your way until something fits. Maybe nothing will. Maybe you are a road, not a destination. That is fine. Be a road. But make sure it’s one with something to look at out of the window.

Profile Image for Debbie W..
869 reviews748 followers
April 27, 2023
Why I chose to read this book:
1. I've had this book on and off my WTR list until I found (and purchased) a copy at my local library's annual book sale a few months ago (yes, my library has awesome book sales!), so back onto the List it went; and,
2. it fits perfectly with my April 2022 "Fantasy and Science Fiction Month" reads!

Positives:
1. plot - funny yet thought-provoking (i.e. a dark comedy). I was invested throughout the story, from its hilarious beginning, its riveting middle to its hopeful ending;
2. characters - from broken-hearted Isobel, depressed Gulliver, even pretentious alien, "Andrew", with his oblivious mannerisms, I had a connection to them all; and,
3. although it was written to Gulliver from Andrew, I loved the chapter titled "Advice for a human" (very poignant).

I enjoyed this story by Matt Haig so much more than his book The Midnight Library (see my review at https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...) that I had a hard time putting it down. His concept of looking at life from the eyes of a nonhuman is extremely well-written. Mental health is dealt with thoughtfully. It is philosophical without being "in-your-face preachy".

I am very glad that I rethought adding this book to my WTR list.
An easy 5 stars! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Profile Image for Farrah.
221 reviews769 followers
December 4, 2020
⭐ 5 Is A Prime Number Stars ⭐

𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠! 𝙎𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝!

Wanna laugh out loud while simultaneously crying? This book can make that happen!

Andrew Martin is a brilliant mathematician who solves the Riemann hypothesis which will change the world as we know it.
But the universe decides we aren't ready for such massive knowledge and sends an alien to kill, then inhabit the body of Andrew, with the mission to remove any evidence of his findings.

But this alien doesn't know anything about us, or our customs, or our emotions.

The Humans gives a very clever, humorous and detached look at why we are the way we are, why we're such a beautiful mess of a species.

Then the alien, who's never experienced an emotion begins bonding with the family dog. Discovers music and poetry. Develops a fondness for Andrew's wife and son.....

This book shows how the universe can send in their best, most logical, most clinical and advanced soldier but it's no match for us wonderful humans.
Profile Image for Annet.
570 reviews887 followers
September 28, 2019
Peanut butter sandwiches go perfectly well with a glass of white wine. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise...

Funny, hilarious, sad, loving and wise story with a message. An alien comes to earth to destroy evidence of Professor Andrew Martin who has supposedly solved a major mathematical problem. Martin is killed and the alien takes his place. At first he looks with disdain and surprise at the 'weak' and 'unwise' 'Humans'. But then he starts liking and loving his wife, gets involved in the strained life of his growingup son to help him, and he likes the dog :-) And then he finds out life on earth is not so bad, although 'the humans' could learn a lot.... There are some hilarious but also very wise philosophical statements and scenes in this book, which I will share later this weekend. I've read a couple of books from Matt Haig and he writes out-of-the-box, unusual stories, not typically to be arranged in some category. I like him!
Profile Image for Ahmad Sharabiani.
9,563 reviews462 followers
March 24, 2022
The Humans, Matt Haig

The Humans is a funny, compulsively readable novel about alien abduction, mathematics, and that most interesting subject of all: ourselves. Combine Douglas Adams’s irreverent take on life, the universe, and everything with a genuinely moving love story, and you have some idea of the humor, originality, and poignancy of Matt Haig’s latest novel.

When an extra-terrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. Taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, a prominent mathematician at Cambridge University, the visitor is eager to complete the gruesome task assigned him and hurry home to his own Utopian planet, where everyone is omniscient and immortal. He is disgusted by the way humans look, what they eat, their capacity for murder and war, and is equally baffled by the concepts of love and family. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this strange species than he had thought. Disguised as Martin, he drinks wine, reads poetry, develops an ear for rock music, and a taste for peanut butter.

تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز یازدهم ماه آوریل سال2016میلادی

عنوان: انسان ها، هیج جا خانه نمیشود؛ نویسنده: مت هیگ؛ مترجم: گیتا گرکانی؛ تهران، نشر هیرمند، سال1393؛ در352ص؛ شابک9789644083624؛ چاپ سوم سال1395؛ چاپ چهارم سال1396؛ موضوع: داستانهای نویسندگان بریتانیا - سده21م

فهرست: بخش یک: «خودم قدرتم را در اختیار گرفتم»؛ بخش دو: «من جواهری را میان انگشتان�� نگه داشتم»؛ بخش سه: «گوزن زخمی تا بالاترین ارتفاع میپرد»؛ «یک یادشت و چند سپاسگزاری»؛

در یک غروب خیس جمعه، پروفسور: «اندرو مارتین»، استاد دانشگاه «کمبریج»، بزرگ‌ترین معمای ریاضی جهان را، حل می‌کند؛ سپس ناپدید می‌شود؛ «انسان‌ها» داستان ایشانست؛ جنگ پاسخی برای یک پرسش اشتباه است؛

نقل از متن: (می‌دانم بیشتر شما که دارید این متن را می‌خوانید، هنوز معتقدید انسان اسطوره است، اما من اینجا اعلام می‌کنم آن‌ها واقعاً وجود دارند؛

برای کسانی که نمی‌دانند: انسان یک شکل حیاتی واقعی دوپا است، با هوشِ متوسط، که در سیاره‌ ی کوچک پر آبی، در گوشه‌ ی بسیار پرت‌ افتاده‌ ی دنیا زندگی بسیار اغفال‌ کننده‌ ای دارد؛

برای بقیه، و آن‌هایی که مرا فرستادند: انسان‌ها از بسیاری جهات، همان‌قدر عجیب‌اند که انتظار دارید باشند؛ بی‌تردید درست است که در اولین برخورد، از شکل ظاهری آن‌ها، دچار بیزاری می‌شوید؛ چهره‌ های آن‌ها ویژگی‌ هولناک، و عجیبی دارد؛ بینی مرکزی برآمده، لب‌هایی با پوست نازک، اندام‌های شنوایی ابتدایی بیرونی، به اسم «گوش»، چشم‌های باریک، و ابروهای بیخود و به‌ درد نخور؛ جذب و پذیرش همه‌ ی این‌ها، مدت‌ها طول می‌کشد؛ رفتارها و رسوم اجتماعی آن‌ها هم اول معمایی گیج‌ کننده‌ اند؛ موضوع مکالمات‌شان به‌ ندرت چیزهایی است، که می‌خواهند درباره‌ شان حرف بزنند، و قبل از آنکه حتی به درک آن‌ها، نزدیک شده باشید، می‌توانم نود و هفت کتاب، درباره‌ ی بخش‌های شرم‌ آور بدن، و آداب لباس پوشیدن‌شان بنویسم؛ و بگذارید این را هم در نظر بگیریم: اگر واقعاً زندگی انسان معنایی داشته باشد، چطور؟

و ــ با من کنار بیایید ــ اگر زندگی روی زمین نه فقط چیزی قابل ترس و تمسخر، بلکه در ضمن قابل احترام باشد چطور؟

آن وقت چی؟

حالا بعضی از شما می‌دانید من چه کرده‌ام، اما هیچ‌ کدام علتش را نمی‌دانید؛ این سند، این راهنما، این روایت ــ هر اسمی می‌خواهید روی آن بگذارید ــ همه‌ چیز را روشن خواهد کرد؛ از شما تمنا می‌کنم این کتاب را بدون تعصب بخوانید، و خودتان حیات انسانی را ارزشیابی کنید)؛ پایان نقل

تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 16/04/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ 03/01/1401هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی
Profile Image for Phrynne.
3,694 reviews2,500 followers
March 11, 2020
Matt Haig is now up there in my list of favourite authors. Each time I read one of his books I am so impressed by its originality and his amazing imagination.

The Humans is told from the point of view of an alien sent to Earth to dispose of new mathematical understandings which could help the human race to make significant scientific advances. The fun in the book is due to this alien's opinions of us, the way we look and the way we live.

Problems occur when our friendly alien finds he cannot carry out his mission in the way his superiors wish. He falls in love, discovers peanut butter sandwiches, befriends the family dog, and discovers that being human is not such a bad thing.

I loved every moment of this book!
Profile Image for Regina.
1,139 reviews4,264 followers
April 9, 2021
(Earmuffs, family members.)

You know how you think your family is pretty normal until you bring someone over to meet them and you see everything and everyone anew through his eyes? And suddenly you realize not only is your family not normal but in fact populated by circus monkeys? But they’re YOUR circus monkeys, so even if that outsider has a point or two about their weirdness he better keep his big trap shut?

That’s pretty much what happens in Matt Haig’s humorous yet heartwarming novel, The Humans, though in this case your family is the human race and the outsider is an alien. He astutely observes things like, “Let’s not forget The Things They Do to Make Themselves Happy That Actually Make Them Miserable. This is an infinite list. It includes shopping, watching TV, taking the better job, getting the bigger house, educating their young, making their skin look mildly less old, and harboring a vague desire to believe there might be a meaning to it all.”

While science fiction isn’t my go-to genre, I found The Humans to be very accessible given its present-day Earth setting. This is a sleeper of a novel that will continue to gain status as a modern classic as the years go by. Matt Haig is a must-read author for me, as his books make me feel understood, uplifted, and - you guessed it - human.

Blog: www.confettibookshelf.com
IG: @confettibookshelf
Profile Image for Mark Matthews.
Author 23 books383 followers
January 15, 2014
The world is divided into those who have read this book and those who have not. Those who have read this book are shaking their heads in the affirmative right now.

It is not so much the story, but read it for that. It is not so much the characters, but read it for that too. It is for the statement it makes on the flawed yet wondrous nature of humans. This book will resonate with you long after you read it. (if not, we can't be friends.) You will be convinced the author himself is from another world, sent here to give us some wisdom, but perhaps also fearful if we can handle it. I liken it to "Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach

Yes, I loved this book and I am a better person for it. A beautiful book that made me cry. At times I feared it would become predictable, but there was just enough variance and certainly more than enough genius. A wonderful range of emotions. The prose was both beautiful and simple. How many times have we all wondered, "What would an alien think if they came to Earth and experienced this?" Well, this book provides an illuminating answer.

Highly recomended. Get ready to highlight on your kindle or dog-ear your paperback.

-Mark Matthews

Profile Image for Helene Jeppesen.
693 reviews3,606 followers
June 22, 2018
4.5/5 stars.
I. Loved. This. Book.
Granted, the plot is somewhat unrealistic and silly - it is after all about an alien who is put on Earth to complete a mission - but said alien’s observations on humans are spot on and very interesting as well as hilarious. We humans do weird things all the time without thinking about it, and it’s books like this one that make you realise that and make you stop to wonder why.
I found this novel to be very clever, observant, and highly thought-provoking. Matt Haig is a clever author to have written it, and I loved how he - together with his multiple observations on the human race - was able to provide us with some truths on life and how we live it that you don’t often think about in everyday life. It didn’t at any point become to clichéd in my eyes - instead, it turned into an honest and heart-warming story that I truly appreciated.
Don’t go into this book with too high expectations. Take it for what it is, and maybe you’ll end up liking it as much as I did. I know that I’m for sure going to read more books of Matt Haig’s now, because he’s simply too good an author to not be further explored.
Profile Image for Jill.
353 reviews352 followers
September 18, 2013
Premise: A socially awkward alien lands Earthside, naked on a Cambridge street…

And for a while, as Matt Haig builds from this premise, it’s funny! The Humans begins quite wonderfully with the arrival of an alien who can barely disguise his contempt towards humans and believes clothing is optional. The humor works because of our extraterrestrial narrator's terrific voice, which is matter of fact and superior. For example, the first piece of “literature” he reads is an issue of Cosmopolitan, which leads to this pithy discussion of magazines:
Magazines are very popular, despite no human’s ever feeling better for having read them. Indeed, their chief purpose is to generate a sense of inferiority in the reader that consequently leads to a feeling of needing to buy something, which the humans then do, and then feel even worse, and so need to buy another magazine to see what they can buy next. It is an eternal and unhappy spiral that goes by the name of capitalism, and it is really quite popular.
I would have liked an entire book of this: just a doofy alien in human form walking around the modern world trying—and failing—to make sense of it.

Wishes never come true, however, so the last half of the book ditches the humor and devolves into New Age mumbo jumbo. The plot is unoriginal. Basically an alien comes to save Earth from too much knowledge, learns to appreciate humans, and abandons his old alien life to become a regular Joe Schmo. To supplement this lack of plot, Haig tries to explore the meaning of life through our bumbling old alien narrator, whose voice becomes instantly less charming as soon as he’s humanized.

Blah. The moment someone expressly searches for the meaning of life is the moment I roll my eyes. Sure I find meaning aplenty in books, but it must arise organically through the natural interaction of characters and their environments. Even worse, the meaning of life discovered by Haig’s alien is more clichéd than a Hallmark card. There are a ton of lines like this at the end that made me figuratively gag:
To experience beauty on Earth, you needed to experience pain and to know mortality. That is why so much that is beautiful on this planet has to do with time passing and the Earth turning. Which might also explain why to look at such natural beauty was to also feel sadness and a craving for a life unlived.
There are tons of quotes about how “love is life” and how “it’s only through our flaws that we can truly appreciate humankind." By this point, I’d mostly checked out, hoping the narrator had one last good joke in him about Catholics. (He didn’t.)

The reason the alien comes to Earth is to destroy a mathematical proof. So here’s some reviewing math for The Humans: smart-alecky alien who makes fun of humankind (4 stars) + heavy-handed existential tripe (2 stars) = 3 stars. Boom, math.
Profile Image for Gabby.
1,553 reviews28.9k followers
March 18, 2022
My full review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shEKa...

This fucking book! I picked this book up because I saw it recommended by a booktuber, and I wasn't expecting that much going into it. But I can honestly say this is a new favorite book of all time. This story follows an alien who gets put into the body of this man named Andrew Martin. The reason he gets put in his body is because Andrew Martin has a made a mathematical breakthrough and the aliens have determined humans are not ready for the way this discovery would change the world. His mission is to delete all evidence that this mathmateical theory was solved, and kill anyone who knows it was solved. This book started off fucking hilarious. The way this alien views humanity cracks me up because he doesn't understand anything about our people or our world, and seeing him experience humanity for the first time was so entertaining. He is able to communicate with his alien masters back at home, and some of the things they have to say about humanity are brutally honest and pessimistic but nonetheless true, like this:

"The humans are an arrogant species, defined by violence and greed. They have taken their home planet, the only one they have access to, and placed it on the road to destruction. They have created a world of divisions and categories and have continually failed to see the similarities between themselves. They have developed technology at a rate too fast for human psychology to keep up with, and yet they still pursue advancement for advancement's sake, and for the pursuit of money and fame they all crave so much."


This book is full of thought-provoking statements about what it means to be human, and what love is, and human life and death. One of my favorites is this one: "A human life is on average 80 Earth years or around 30,000 Earth days. Which means they are born, they make some friends, eat a few meals, they get married, or they don’t get married, have a child or two, or not, drink a few thousand glasses of wine, have sexual intercourse a few times, discover a lump somewhere, feel a bit of regret, wonder where all the time went, know they should have done it differently, realise they would have done it the same, and then they die. Into the great black nothing. Out of space. Out of time. The most trivial of trivial zeroes. And that’s it, the full caboodle. All confined to the same mediocre planet.” It's kind of depressing to think about.

"Dark matter is needed to hold galaxies together. Your mind is a Galaxy. More dark than light. But the light makes it worthwhile."


This book kind of reminds me of We Are the Ants in that way. It's a coming of age story that involves aliens... and it has an extremely negative and pessimistic view of the world and humanity, until the main character slowly reaches an arc when they realize how beautiful and wonderful and meaningful life on Earth can be. It has the same overall message, which is probably why I loved this book so much.

“You shouldn’t have been born. Your existence is as close to impossible as can be. To dismiss the impossible is to dismiss yourself.”


This book had me laughing and crying, and I just fucking loved it so much. This book had quotes that inspired me and made me question my own beliefs and gave me a new perspective on things. I loved it, 10/10 would recommend. If you haven't read this book, please read this fucking book. Definitely a new all time favorite of mine.
Profile Image for Baba.
3,842 reviews1,299 followers
August 24, 2023
Pfft, and just like that Professor Andrew Martin is dead! But, and it's a huge reason for this book but, what used to be well-known and lauded mathematician Professor Andrew Martin is running naked down a motorway mostly because he's scared of rain!

In a Matt Haig trademark 'this story is bigger than you think' style, he takes a look at humanity from the external viewpoint of an alien that has removed the professor from his body and taking it over to execute his mission to limit the progress of Human civilisation.

I am always torn with Haig's work, it reads and feels like a top quality Hallmark movie, but always gives me the sense of trying too hard to be such. If I was really being honest and removed Haig's name from the book I would have to say that this is an illuminating and thought provoking read that tries to at least look at the big questions of why we are here, what do we want and how we should live wrapped up in a truly innovative 'the aliens are here' story set around an academic family in a university city/town. Gots to be at least an 8 out o f12, Four Star read, Goddamn you Haig, no matter how hard I resist, I have to give you props.

2023 read
Profile Image for Kayla Dawn.
292 reviews1,043 followers
August 24, 2018
This was awesome. I chuckled so much and I barely ever do that while reading a book. "Andrew" as a character is absolutely genius. I don't really know what to say, y'all should just read it!!!
November 4, 2017
Το Σύμπαν αποτελείται από δισεκατομμύρια ηλιακά συστήματα. Δισεκατομμύρια προϋποθέσεις για ανθρώπινη ζωή σε όλες τις βαθμίδες εξέλιξης .Όποιος κατορθώνει να φθάσει ένα άλλο άστρο, αυτός βρίσκεται σε μία ανώτερη βαθμίδα εξέλιξης αφήνοντας πίσω του την γήινη ..

Ένα υπεργαλαξιακό αλληγορικό παραμύθι για τη ζωή πάνω στον πλανήτη γη αλλά και άλλες εξελιγμένες μορφές ζωής που κατοικούν εκατομμύρια έτη φωτός μακριά απο το δικό μας γαλαξία.
Ίσως κάποια στιγμή η ανθρώπινη ευφυΐα καταφέρει να ανακαλύψει πως θα επισκεφτεί παράλληλους υπερπολιτισμούς εξωγήινης ύπαρξης λύνοντας όλα τα (υπέρ)(μετα)φυσικά μυστήρια.

Κοντά σε αυτό το απόλυτο μαθηματικό κλειδί για το ξεκλείδωμα του σύμπαντος έφτασε κάποιος γήινος επιστήμονας. Έτσι,ανάγκασε ανώτερα υπέρ όντα απο έναν παραδεισένιο λειτουργικά μακρινό πλανήτη να στείλουν έναν εκπρόσωπο τους κοντά μας. Παίρνοντας γήινη μορφή ο εισβολέας έχει σκοπό να εξαφανίσει βίαια και ριζικά αυτό το κλειδί απο τους κατοίκους της γης.

Ένα βιβλίο απόλυτα εύστοχο,συγκινητικό,φιλοσοφικό με πινελιές μαύρης κωμωδίας,που υμνεί τη γήινη οντότητα με όλα τα χαρακτηριστικά που τη διακρίνουν.
Η περίεργη γήινη φυλή είναι γεμάτη πάθη,λάθη,ιδιορρυθμίες,αδυναμίες,ατέλειες,μίσος και βίαιες συμπεριφορές.

Έχει όμως συντροφικότητα σε όλες τις εκφάνσειςτης,έντονα συναισθήματα,αγάπη,πόνο,ζήλεια,μίσος,ματαιοδοξία,
μικροπρέπεια και πολλά μα πάρα πολλά ασήμαντα καθημερινά και προβλέψιμα γεγονότα που οδηγούν στο νόημα της ζωής και την ευτυχία.

Η τελειότητα όταν αρκείται στην παρατήρηση γίνεται ένας στατικός μονότονος παράδεισος.
Στα ασήμαντα πράγματα,στα αδύναμα σημεία, στις τρωτές καθημερινές απολαύσεις ακόμη και στις τραγωδίες κρύβεται η ολοκλήρωση της ύπαρξης.

Πρωτότυπο και ιδιοφυές βιβλίο.

Καλή ανάγνωση
Πολλούς γήινους ασπασμούς!
May 29, 2022
4.5 stars I loved this book, like I I loved “Third Rock From the Sun”. Remember the comedy series with John Lithgow? If you didn’t like that sitcom, then stay away from this book. That said, the storyline is that an alien is sent down from his planet, Vonnador, to eliminate a professor who found the solution to the Riemann Hypothesis. This hypothesis involves prime numbers and the rate at which the amount of prime numbers become smaller as numbers get larger(which numbers grow to infinity). At any rate, it would be a fun read for those who are mathematically inclined(not me) and know of the mathematical quandaries which perplex the math community. But I digress. The Vonnadorians feel that humans are emotionally and as a society ill-equipped to have this knowledge. So for the sake of the universe, the aliens felt it necessary to eliminate the Professor and any one that he gave that knowledge to. This alien came with the basic knowledge that “humans are an arrogant species defined by violence and greed..they have created a world of divisions and categories and continually failed to see the similarities among themselves..they have developed technology at a rate too fast for human psychology to keep up with, and yet they still pursue advancement for the advancement’s sake, and for the pursuit of the money and fame they all crave so much”. This alien didn’t know anything about human culture or social mores, so once he came upon earth, he went to a Texaco Station and picked up a Cosmopolitan magazine to read for guidance. And the comedy begins. He ends up on the Mental Ward in the hospital his first hour on earth. With an incredible wit, Matt Haig uses the alien to poke fun of us as humans. Haig uses the alien’s innocence mixed with intelligence to make the reader think about our basic values, social mores, and cultural aspects. The alien had some fascinating insights into our culture. For example, while watching the news on TV, he discovered “The news was prioritized in a way I could not understand. For instance there was nothing on new mathematical observations or still-undiscovered polygons, but quite a bit about politics, which on this planet was essentially all about war and money....it should more accurately have been titled The War and Money Show” The alien showed how ridiculous we can be and how we needlessly torture ourselves. One of my favorite parts of the book is “advice for a human” that he leaves his human “son.” The number 1 advice: “Shame is a shackle. Free yourself”. It’s easily readable. Chock full of insights. I loved it. It’s a great summer read.
Profile Image for Caro.
634 reviews22.5k followers
January 4, 2018
This book is a wonderful, funny, and insightful look at humans from an alien perspective. I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend it.

I appreciated it even more after reading the author's acknowledgments at the end of the book.

UPDATE 01/03/18: It's been four years since I read this novel and it still remains one of my all-time favorite books.

It's original, imaginative, and profound. I highly recommend it. Hope it brings you as much joy as it has brought me over the years.
Profile Image for Andrew Smith.
1,179 reviews867 followers
March 28, 2024
I don't mind taking a gamble on Audible Daily Deals - they're usually only a couple of quid and if they don't work out then it's less than the cost of a cup of coffee wasted.

I usually know quite early doors if a book is going to excite me, bore me, or simply get on my nerves. This one was of the last variety. I'm sure this is a great book for the right person: its ratings are high everywhere, so it's obviously floated a few boats. But for me, it just became irritating very quickly.

The basic set-up here is that an extra-terrestrial being inhabits human form and sees the world and its people with fresh eyes. So far so good, but after every possible sentence uttered by everyone he/it meets is examined for its incongruity and/or weirdness the amusement factor wore off for me quick smart - and that was the end of that.

The pity is that, had I been inclined to press on, there might be a good story here. The good news is that cup of coffee I sacrificed to make the purchase reduced my daily caffiene intake from life threatening down to just highly dangerous ;)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Whitney Atkinson.
1,027 reviews13k followers
July 31, 2021
If you'd have handed me this book without telling me the author, I probably could have guessed it was from Matt Haig because it feels so distinctly Him. But although I liked this book for being about humans from a non-human angle and the insight that allowed, sometimes the tone of it felt overexplainy and most of the time I was a little bored. I definitely plan to read more from Haig but this didn't quite hit the mark for me, partially because I prefer to feel like i'm "one" with the narrator and see from their point of view, but since the narrator is a different species entirely, it was hard to truly get lost in the style.
Profile Image for Beverly.
920 reviews383 followers
October 31, 2017
A funny, clever, and unusual book, The Humans, explores what would happen if an alien came to earth and inhabited the body of an earthling and reacted to our life styles and rules for society. A lot of things would seem absurd and this is what the author taps into. The alien comes to love the puny, delicate, mortal human wife and son he has inherited by killing their husband and father and taking his place. Some of the best passages are between him and the dog, Newton. He heals Newton of his arthritis and Newton adores him from that moment on. He, in turn comes to love and appreciate Newton. Needless to say, his fellow aliens are not happy with his failure to carry out his mission.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for emily.
280 reviews2,436 followers
February 5, 2021
therapy
- expensive
- months to years of hard work
- emotionally draining

reading a book by matt haig
- significantly cheaper
- immediately super effective
- also emotionally draining but like in a good way
Profile Image for Virginie Roy.
Author 1 book753 followers
March 27, 2020
I liked it, but not that much.

There were some nice reflections about living here, on Earth, and the purpose of it all. I just didn't find myself laughing that often (please don't hate me for that!) nor being touched. I prefered How to Stop Time and Notes on a Nervous Planet. I like how Haig's books turn around similar themes that are important to me, but I think they were better exploited in these two, although the concept of The Humans was interesting.
Profile Image for exploraDora.
598 reviews310 followers
June 24, 2021
**5 Stars**

The humans is a funny story about an alien who is sent to Earth to take over the body of a mathematician who has proven a major hypothesis, that's said to be dangerous knowledge for an immature species such as us humans. The alien is supposed to eliminate all traces of that hypothesis by any means possible.

The extraterrestrial comes in with a distorted view of humans and through his eyes, we see the absurdity of some mundane things like jobs, news and so on. He also takes us on a crazy trip through our own existence, so we can see with clarity how silly, awful, lovely, ridiculous and wonderful our short lives are. It's a clever look at all of us from a different angle.

The story kicks off when the alien doesn't bother to dress in clothes and wanders the streets naked, spitting people and learning our language from the Cosmopolitan magazine and it just keeps being funny throughout. He is initially repelled by everything he sees on Earth - by people, by food, by the environment and by violence. But, the alien is a quick learner and he gradually learns to love what he sees. The plot moves into the mathematician's family life and various dramas ensue along the way. He repeatedly asks himself and others, what it is like to be human and as he learns about belonging and love, he eventually wants to become one.

Read this book. Don't wait. It's a very quick read and a total delight.
Profile Image for Chesca (thecrownedpages).
320 reviews165 followers
February 23, 2018
THERE IS HOPE IN HUMANITY.

Told through the romantic and curious perspective of an unnamed alien, Matt Haig’s The Humans is an honest and mostly-optimistic view on humanity, showing that hope and greatness could be found in our imperfections as individuals and as a whole.

Let this book help you rethink about life and see its beauty. Give it a moment and you would not regret it!

“Humans, as a rule, don't like mad people unless they are good at painting, and only then once they are dead. But the definition of mad, on Earth, seems to be very unclear and inconsistent. What is perfectly sane in one era turns out to be insane in another. The earliest humans walked around naked with no problem. Certain humans, in humid rainforests mainly, still do so. So, we must conclude that madness is sometimes a question of time, and sometimes of postcode.

Basically, the key rule is, if you want to appear sane on Earth you have to be in the right place, wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, and only stepping on the right kind of grass.”

A Vonnadorian alien, taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, was given the task to destroy the said man’s work, in which the Reimann Theory was proven, and everyone who knew about it. At the same time, he was to study the humans and test the aliens’ theories about our species.

Andrew Martin, a mathematician at Cambridge University, was married before the alien took his identity. He had a wife, Isobel. Their marriage was in shambles, but they stayed together for the sake of appearances and because Isobel loved him. The two of them were famous in their fields of education, Isobel on history and Andrew on Mathematics, and as authors of bestselling books.

Isobel cared so much that she was able to sacrifice the other aspects of her career just so she could take care of her family while Andrew was out working. She was just there in the background, ignored and unloved.

With Andrew not caring for his family, their son, Gulliver, was left broken. He was bullied and people expected more from him because his father was a genius. And so, Gulliver was depressed and hated the world.

When the alien entered Isobel and Gulliver’s lives, everything changed. It started when Andrew (the Alien) was found walking the streets naked. They were told that he just had an episode because of working too much. But Andrew was never the same again after the incident.

“6. Be curious. Question everything. A present fact is just a future fiction.”

The first thing that you should know about this tale is that it’s hilarious and philosophical. It is definitely not a sad story, but it will bring tears to your eyes not because it will break your heart, but because it will stitch up the seams it has. Being stitched up is not that nice, but it’s definitely worth it, right?

The naïve protagonist, though very curious, was first and foremost disgusted by the way humans look, especially because of their protruding noses. He didn’t mean to act the opposite of the real Professor Andrew Martin who was heartless and never cared for his family. As the plot progressed, he was able to understand humans and be like them. In the end, I could say that he was the most human character in the book. He was selfless and caring, loving and protective. This imperfect, non-human creature changed the lives of the people around him, especially Isobel’s and Gulliver’s. He saved and destroyed, lied and confessed. He had come to appreciate all that he was able to experience whether they were good or bad. It was as if he found the greatest treasures of the earth in his journey. The way this person was developed was just exquisite.

As for Isobel and Gulliver, these two were almost lifeless at the beginning of the story. They were living a life smudged in gray, and the new Andrew was able to fill their life with color as he tried to learn about his new body and identity. They became more loved and in the process became free of their burdens. With them, the Vonnadorian found a family he was able to call his own. Their relationship was a new beginning for each one of them, and in it they found what they’ve all lacked before: love.

And then there was Newton, the family dog, who was the alien’s very first friend. It was just so adorable to find a man care for a dog as if they were equals. They shared peanut butter, walked outside, and “Andrew” told him about his secrets first. It was very realistic, in my opinion, because I talk to my dog too. Let’s just say that we could all find friendship in the most unlikely of people or creatures.

The Humans was written in a very formal way and research-like, but was romantic. Frankenstein romantic, not Colleen Hoover-romantic, if that makes sense. You would notice that the tone of the story was very consistent from end to end, but it acquired more emotion as the events flowed. This is the type of book I’d love to call “the one with the fun and the feels.” Reading it was like watching the sky all day to see it change its colors from sunset to dawn.

There were some moments wherein I almost panicked because there were math equations in the book, and I am never good in math, unless we’re talking about how much money I would need to survive. Fear not, my friend. You wouldn’t have to analyze the equations, and they would be explained. Also, whether you understood them or not, it would not affect the story. What you should expect is that there would be a lot of poetry and music. Maybe you could list them down in case you’ve never heard of the artistic pieces mentioned in it.

If there’s one thing I would want to change in this story, it would be the ending. It was a meaningful closure, but it could have been better if I saw more of it, like what would happen when he arrived at that place. One more chapter would have been so amazing.

“And I knew the point of love right then.
The point of love was to help you survive.
The point was also to forget meaning. To stop looking and start living. The meaning was to hold the hand of someone you cared about and to live inside the present. Past and future were myths. The past was just the present that had died and the future would never exist anyway, because by the time we got to it the future would have turned into the present. The present was all there was.”

This book is for everyone, in case you doubt about getting a copy. If you love romance, it definitely has that, and it has the kind that’s bold, fragile, and honest all at the same time. It was as a flower blooming and learning to withstand its new surroundings. If you’re a nerd, then let’s all be nerds and learn through this book! If you’re depressed, let this thing make you happy! Let it give you a new perspective about life. Don’t let depression eat you up; fight it. I think this book will be wonderful for you. If you can’t feel anything towards life, let this story get that heart in your chest beating to life again. That thing just might need some light spilling into you. If you think you’re life is so good, perfect, or that you had it all planned out, let’s put you in the middle of an existential crisis! Grab a copy, and maybe you still have other things to do to make life even better.

Ask me how I feel? I feel like a shooting star ready to set fire to the night sky.

Lastly, because of this, I would love to check out Emily Dickinson’s poetry. Yes, I’ve never read any of them except those quoted in this embodiment of intelligence.

Obviously, this is absolutely and highly recommended! Also, it goes to my favorites shelf.

“75. Politeness is often fear. Kindness is always courage. But caring is what makes you human. Care more, become more human.”
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