This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "10 & 1 Toilets" from season 2, which aired on November 8, 2023.

• [The episode begins with Bunny using a duster to clean the text off of the title card.]
• Bunny: [humming, painting shimmers] Ooh, that reminds me. It's time to clean Tinkle. [presses button on duster to change it to a toilet scrubber] [hums and skips over to bathroom door]
• Patrick: [holding crotch, sweating] Ooh, ooh, sorry, Mom. I gotta tinkle in [opens door, which hits Bunny] Tinkle. [enters bathroom, slams door]
• [Bunny gets partly squished by the door, and goes back to her normal shape.]
• Tinkle: [off-screen, growling]
• Patrick: [off-screen] Why are you looking at me like that, boy? [gets attacked by Tinkle] Down, boy! Down! [exits restroom, where Tinkle tries to bite him] Bad toilet! [shuts door, pants] Well, guess I'll just have to save it for the next gas station we visit.
• Bunny: Hmm. Tinkle has been acting a little weird lately. He's been eating more toilet paper than usual. Oh, poor baby. [points at door] He just needs his mommy. Tinkle! [opens door to reveal hole in bathroom wall, gasps] He's gone! [cut to her going outside with Patrick] Tinkle!
• Patrick: Tinkle!
• Bunny: Here, boy! I've got a new [holds up plunger] plunge-y for you.
• Patrick: [shakes off toilet water from foot] Ew!
• Bunny: [points to puddles] Oh, no. He's leaking!
• [Growling is heard from a nearby shed, where Bunny and Patrick walk to. Bunny slides open the door.]
• Bunny: Sounds like him. Tinkle? [gets hit and soaked with water, Patrick flinches] Call Dr. Plumber.
• Patrick: I'm on it. [dials on banana] Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Hello? Plumber's office?
• Bunny: [points to banana] Uh, sweetheart, that's a banana.
• Dr. Plumber: [holding up banana next to them] I got your call. Oh, hey, we have the same cell phone carrier. [he and Patrick squeeze their bananas, which land in their mouths, and eat them. Dr. Plumber walks to the shed] All right, let's take a look-see here. Back in a jiffy. [shed door closes, off-screen] No, no, no, no! [gets attacked as shed bounces, yells] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
• Patrick: [hands on head] Eee!
• Dr. Plumber: [shed door opens] Welp, I figured out the issue.
• Bunny: And?
• Dr. Plumber: [backs up] See for yourself.
• Patrick: [he and Bunny peek inside] Tinkle?
• [Tinkle is seen with several toilet babies as he licks one of them.]
• Dr. Plumber: [off-screen] Your toilet was pregnant.
• Patrick: Tinkle's a girl?
• Dr. Plumber: Uh, no, Tinkle's a toilet.
• Patrick: [Tinkle and his offspring approach] Aw, a toilet! [grabs onto Tinkle] I am so proud of you and your 8,000 toilet babies!
• Bunny: Actually, I count-- [pointing] one, two, three, four, five, eight-- ten!
• [An extra toilet baby is seen as Tinkle's tank opens up.]
• Bunny: [laughs] And one! [hearts appear around her] 11 little basins of joy.
• Dr. Plumber: [torso is eaten out like an apple core] Careful. They're teething. [walks off]
• Patrick: [falls to floor as baby toilets lick him, laughing]
• Cecil: [approaches, he and Bunny put their hands on each other's shoulders] Oh, it'll be so nice to have the pitter-patter of porcelain paws around the house.
• Squidina: [appears] Yay! Potty puppies!
• [Wipe transition back to the Star house. Bunny is in the kitchen.]
• Bunny: [humming, opens sink curtains and gasps]
• [Two baby toilets are tugging at a kitchen glove. One of them gets the glove as the other is sent backwards.]
• Bunny: [gasps, snorts, grabs her kitchen glove and is sent backwards with it, crashing into the wall behind her]
• Toilet puppies: [yapping, bouncing on Bunny's stomach as they pass by]
• [Transition to Cecil walking upstairs.]
• Cecil: [whistling]
• Toilet puppies: [yapping as they pass by]
• Cecil: [foot gets bitten by toilet puppy] Ehh! Ugh. [toilet puppy sucks on his foot, making him twirl around and get sucked inside it]
• Toilet puppy: [licks lips]
• [Meanwhile in the living room, Squidina is placing newspapers on the flood where the toilet puppies are spewing water.]
• Squidina: [screams, places another newspaper near a toilet puppy, looks behind her] Huh?
• [Several more toilet puppies spew out water.]
• Squidina: [panting, frantically placing newspapers, then gets squirted on by all of the toilet puppies]
• [The toilet puppies speed off, and Squidina sits down, soaked. Clockwise transition to Patrick in the kitchen opening a bag of toilet food. He pours some toilet paper into four colored bowls.]
• Patrick: [inhales, whistles]
• Toilet puppies: [come by to eat the food and bowls, and also eat Patrick's lower body, also tearing off the bottom half of the screen]
• French Narrator: [narrating time card] Many disorderly days later...
• [Back in the living room, the four Star family members are exhausted. The toilet puppies are roaming around. Patrick is sleeping as one of them bites his arm.]
• Squidina: [groans] These toilets are exhausting.
• [A cuckoo clock goes off. The cuckoo bird gets eaten by a toilet puppy.]
• Squidina: Huh? [gets on couch] Patrick, it's time to do your show! [pushes Patrick downwards, activating a spring that shoots him in the air and into his stage seat.]
• Patrick: [screams, gets up and waves] Hello! I'd like to introduce my very special guest, an actual mummy! [gesturing to a mummy in a seat next to him]
• Mummy: [groans, bugs crawl out of its mouth]
• Audience: [screams]
• Patrick: So, why do mummies get such a bad wrap? [rimshot plays as toilet puppies come onstage to tear the mummy apart] No! Stop! [mummy is left only as bugs and disintegrates] Whoa! [toilet puppies tear down the curtains and wreck the equipment] Cut! Cut! [toilet puppy approaches camera, cut to static]
• [Cut to something being lowered from chains in Dr. Plankenstein's house. Thunder is seen booming.]
• Dr. Plankenstein: My new creation will solve all our plumbing problems. Patgor, pull the lever! [both approach lever on a machine]
• Patgor: [pulls lever, machine above bed doesn't activate, continues pulling lever] Uh, I think we're gonna need an electricity plumber.
• Dr. Plankenstein: [holds screwdriver, groans, then jumps down] Do I have to do everything myself?
• [Thudding is heard from the inside of the machine, and the toilet puppies come out from the hatch which lands on Plankenstein, and the toilet puppies are chewing on the wires.]
• Patgor: [gets on machine to escape toilet puppies, whimpering] But I already went to the bathroom this month! [whimpering]
• Dr. Plankenstein: [gets out from underneath hatch] This is a laboratory, not a lavatory. [pulls wires from machine and attaches them to the bed, creating flashes] Gah! [cackles, sentient plunger rises] Plunge, my plunger. Plunge them all!
• Plunger: [growls]
• Toilet puppies: [scream and run away from plunger]
• Patgor: Huh? [jumps up] Yay! [dances as toilet puppies get chased the other way, then gets plunged in the butt by the plunger] It's plunging my hump!
• [Cut to static, then back to the Star family living room as everyone is still exhausted.]
• All: [groaning and sighing as the toilet puppies continue eating and breaking things]
• Bunny: [exhausted] The toilets are running again.
• [An explosion occurs from the right side.]
• GrandPat: [upstairs] Oh, what's all the ruckus? I'm trying to rest my wrinkles. [looks down and gasps] Toilet puppies? [slams down onto ground] Hyah! [points to the others] You should all be ashamed. This ain't no way to raise an animal. Toilets, puppies, toilet puppies--you gotta show 'em who's boss. [toilet puppy squirts him in the butt] Wah! [turns around] Hmm?
• Toilet puppy: [yaps]
• GrandPat: [flushes head inside his body, laughs]
• Toilet puppy: [whimpers off]
• GrandPat: Ha! [holds up "PLUMBING 101" book] Time for potty training. [book flips to chapter 1] "Chapter 1: Effective Tools."
• [The book closes as the scene changes to GrandPat in front of the toilet puppies barking at a tree with an urchin on it.]
• GrandPat: [whistles at puppies, holds up fishing rod] Don't make me snake ya! [twists rod as puppies run away, then reels them in]
• Urchin: Phew.
• GrandPat: [book flips to chapter 7] "Chapter 7: Principles of Plunging."
• [The book closes as the scene changes to a hungry Patrick rubbing his hands together and licking his lips as he looks at a donut on a plate. He picks it up, and a toilet puppy snatches it just as he tries to eat it.]
• Patrick: [looks left] Huh?
• [The toilet puppy runs off with the donut until it sees GrandPat with a plunger.]
• GrandPat: [twirling plunger] Do not eat that donut! [plunges donut out of the toilet puppy, making it dizzy, then tosses the donut at Patrick's face]
• Patrick: Yay!
• GrandPat: [as book opens to chapter 13] "Chapter 13: Tricks of the Trade."
• [The book closes again as the scene changes to GrandPat guiding the toilet puppies through a ring of fire.]
• GrandPat: [whistles, points to ring of fire]
• [The puppies all jump through the hoop and stack on each other on a platform. GrandPat gives them urinal cakes to eat, and he does the same to his family, who are also stacked on a platform. Clockwise transition to the toilet puppies watching a realistic waterfall on TV. Patrick and Squidina show up.]
• Squidina: Aw, good puppies. Who wants to [holds out leashes] go for a walk?
• [The toilet puppies look at Squidina and pant eagerly while standing in an orderly fashion. They are all seen leashed by Squidina outside.]
• Squidina: Is that all of 'em?
• Patrick: Hmm. Uh, let's see. [pointing] 1, 2, 3, 7, uh... yep, all [holds up hand with 11 digits held up] 11.
• [Wipe transition to Squidina walking the puppies, with Patrick following.]
• Squidina: Hey, Patrick. Didn't you say there were 11 puppies.
• Patrick: Uh-huh.
• Squidina: Well, I only see eight.
• Patrick: [looks, then shrugs] I don't know. Math is hard.
• Squidina: Look, there's only three puppies now.
• Patrick: [looking around] Oh, where'd the other 12 go?
• Squidina: I don't know. [grabs Patrick's shirt collar] And let's never take our eyes off... [looks behind, gasps] The puppies! They've been toilet-napped! What do we do?
• Patrick: The one thing we can do.
• Patrick and Squidina: [jump up and scream] Go get Mom! [run off]
• [Cut back to the Star family house.]
• Bunny: I tell you, Tinkle, [she and Tinkle are wearing cucumbers on their eyes while sitting in massage chairs] it sure is swell having another mom [takes off cucumber] around the house. [eats cucumber]
• [Patrick and Squidina land on each other as they arrive, while Cecil is seen holding a plate of cucumber slices.]
• Patrick: Mom!
• Squidina: [twirling Patrick around on the floor] Someone stole Tinkle's babies!
• Tinkle: [growls, barks]
• Patrick: [holding up a toilet brush] Here, Tinkle. Find the scent.
• Tinkle: [sniffing, barking, then runs off]
• Patrick: Everyone, follow Tinkle! [everyone else follows Tinkle as Cecil eats the plate of cucumber slices]
• [The scene changes to nighttime as the family follows Tinkle sniffing along the ground.]
• Tinkle: [growls, speeds along like a car past some hills]
• Cecil: Tinkle's leading us to that [points ahead] warehouse.
• Tinkle: [barking in front of warehouse, kicks front doors open and growls as the family peeks inside]
• Squidina: Whoa. [looks around with flashlight] What is this place? [spots toilet fashion sketches on wall] Fashion sketches? [spots a sewing section] A sewing machine? [spots plumbing manuals] Plumbing manuals?
• Patrick: [shivering] What kind of monster lives here?
• GrandPat: [cackling as a cage drops on the family] A captive audience to be captivated by my [turns around, wearing toilet clothing] design!
• All: [off-screen] GrandPat?
• Toilet puppies: [in cage, whimpering]
• All: [off-screen] The puppies?
• Tinkle: [whimpers]
• Squidina: GrandPat, what are you doing?
• Patrick: And who are you wearing?
• GrandPat: [posing] Oh, you like it, eh? I used to be part of high society.
• [Flashback to a fashion show building.]
• GrandPat: [voiceover, a woman struts by wearing toilet clothing] I was the designer for haute "cou-toilet" fashion back in the day.
• Upturn: [in audience with GrandPat] Your designs are so loo, so lavatorial. There's such a comfort station.
• [Cameras flash as several people are seen wearing toilet fashion.]
• GrandPat: [voiceover] Made from only the finest plumbing fixtures, my designs were on the runways of every [magazines scroll by, including one with GrandPat on the cover] flusheratti event until [GrandPat's magazine is then shown in a dumpster alley, where he grabs a magazine himself] I fell out of fashion. [flashback ends] Then when I saw Tinkles' puppies, [approaches puppies, who whimper] I knew they were the perfect raw materials for my [puts on sunglasses] commode couture comeback!
• Squidina: You're turning Tinkle's puppies into clothing?
• GrandPat: No! I'm turning them into high latrine fashion! [waves wrench in front of the puppies] Some disassembly required. [cackles]
• Tinkles: [furious, lid pops off, then escapes through his cage to go after GrandPat]
• GrandPat: [running off with the caged puppies] Gah! [drops cage, freeing the puppies, then runs off as the toilets all run after him]
• [The other family members sit down and watch the chaos unfold. Patrick eats from a bucket of popcorn. GrandPat uses a roll of toilet paper to latch onto a pipe and hang in the air. The puppies bark around him.]
• GrandPat: Back, you outhouse mongols! [toilet paper rips apart, making him fall] Ahh! [puppies pull at his body] No biting! [rubber duck bounces off his beard] Oh, my ducky! I trained you better than this! [toilet breaks apart, yells as Tinkle chases him and pulls off his plunger hat]
• [GrandPat runs into a dressing room, naked. The toilets chase after him.]
• GrandPat: [off-screen] No, not the swirly! [water spits out of dressing room, voice gurgled] Ahh!
• [GrandPat is shown with his body completely swirled as the toilets surround him. One more toilet puppy comes by and spits water into his eye.]
• GrandPat: Ahh!
• Patrick: [family approaches GrandPat] GrandPat, we are very disappointed in how old and naked you are. [walks off with puppies, then his family follows] Come on, poopies. [chuckles] Poopies." Heh-heh, poop.
• GrandPat: [coughs and groans, then a spotlight shines on him]
• Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, [GrandPat stands up] presenting the newest line of toilet fashion from [GrandPat turns around] GrandPat Star.
• Crowd: [looks at GrandPat and gasps]
• Woman: Oh, my. [chuckles]
• Upturn: Ooh! [waves hand in disgust] A toilet fashion line that deserves the flush, eh? [nudges person next to her]
• Crowd: [chuckles]
• GrandPat: [crying] My brand! [flushing water appears below him, and gets swirled inside the toilet]
• [Transition back to the Star family house, where Patrick is playing with the puppies while the others watch.]
• Patrick: [laughs, kisses one of the puppies]
• Squidina: [petting Tinkle] It's so nice to be back together as one big happy family.
• Cecil: [uses remote to turn on TV, but nothing happens]
• Bunny: [gasps]
• Cecil: Hey! [the TV is shown missing] What happened to our TV? [doorbell rings] Huh?
• [The TV, now with a face, comes inside the house with several TV puppies.]
• Bunny: The boob tube had babies!
• [A camera takes a photo, and the photo of the whole family gets a hole ripped in it when the TV puppies come out of it.]