1. |
It’ll All Work Out
03:11
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This won’t have to stay hidden forever
But it has to stay hidden for now
Maybe trading stories with a future friend
If I lay it down
And I keep my eyes on you
It’ll all work out
If I make myself friendly
If I put others needs before my own
Don’t let my heart be hardened
If I make myself friendly
Put others’ needs before my own
Don’t let my heart be hardened, Lord
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2. |
Santa Cruz
02:40
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First day of 8th grade
The stupidest backpack
Regretted it
As soon as I stepped out of the car
Neon green acid wash
To last me the whole year
I loved it in Phoenix at the mall with my Grandma
So I’ll never be cool here
It’s under the surface
With skaters and surfers
I crave an identity
That I can’t buy at Mervyn's
Escape to my headphones
But christian rock worship
Was starting to pale
To what I was immersed in
Magnetic vibrations
One with the weather
And the cold waves
A sea and a mountain
In their eroding embrace
Forever
Alone in my room with
A haunted religion
Wormwood and Screwtape
And a witch’s invitation
Tongues talking spirit
Kneeling to listen
A novel about demons
That christians weren’t missing
As kids we were taught
By the blood they can’t kill you
In this book they do
And I need to know what’s true
We live by the bible college
Dad had a job at
After school I would
Ride my bike to the Spot
Play ping pong with freshman
Just hit it all back
Don’t attack
They'll make mistakes
And start questioning everything
My folks went to school here
When they were just twenty
Started their romance
Waited til marriage
A shining example
Of what was expected
Allowed to have sex then
Can’t wait til I get there
Magnetic vibrations
One with the weather
And the cold waves
A sea and a mountain
In their eroding embrace
Forever
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3. |
Little Help
03:04
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Saw a new friend from church at the mall
Nervous he wouldn’t recall me
Bracing myself to feel invisible
That’s when he walked up and said something surprising
His mom said I could spend the night
Looking over at my folks
They said alright
Flipping through his dad’s LPs in his room
Recognized one from the movie
They showed us at camp about rock and roll
If you play it on reverse it says turn me on dead man
We got bored in no time
So we played the record forward and set the needle down
I couldn’t stop laughing
It’s my birthday too yeah
Treading water on the open ocean
Then you threw me out a life ring
All I needed was a little help from a friend
Back at my school feeling more like myself
Wandering the hallways in headphones
Singing along to the fool on the hill
That’s when this kid smirked
What are you doing
and do you wanna come surfing
Treading water on the open ocean
Then you threw me out a life ring
I was getting pretty used to drowning
All I needed was a godsend
All I needed was a little help from a friend
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4. |
Tall Pines
02:57
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Riding in a moving truck again
Northern California dusk is barely hanging in
They need a music pastor at a church in Paradise
Here we come guys
Keeping my eyes wide open
For the long shadows
In the tall pines
Now what’s a winning twelfth grade girl want with a freshman
We took our shirts off in my bedroom, french kissing
Both lying to our parents
Keeping my eyes wide open
For the long shadows
In the tall pines
But it’s over now
I like it here anyway
Sunday church
Friends in the pews
What am I gonna do
Follow in my father’s footsteps
Or maybe music work I haven’t dreamt of yet
I hope it’s drumset
Keeping my eyes wide open
For the long shadows
In the tall pines
Dad waited til school let out
To confront his boss
For doing wrong
And it’s time to move again
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5. |
Don’t Cry Now
03:28
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If I don’t cry now
The trees’ll be sick
If I don’t cry now
The rocks will insist
I'm pretending to be someone else
If I don’t cry now
My sister and I snuck through the strange church office
Past the secretary’s desk
In her eyes I saw it
By “you poor kids” my face was set in a half smile
Having learned by now that frozen cheeks
Can sell my denial
If I don’t cry now
The trees’ll be sick
If I don’t cry now
The rocks will insist
I'm pretending to be someone else
If I don’t cry now
Watching the interstate go by
From the backseat window
Heart still soft
Eyes still wide
Head still on a swivel
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6. |
Remembering
02:51
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In Seattle
Feeling settled for now
Got a guitar
On my lap on the couch
I hear piano
From my sister’s room
Dad wonders if I know how to tune
He doesn’t really play guitar
But he showed me several chords
So I could use em to write a song of my own
Remembering a good friend
From a couple towns ago
I sat trying to strum the chords
Started humming along
Feeling several emotions
That I usually try to avoid
Under the spell of your own sad song
Oh joy
Drumming in a band
Makin funny friends
Breathing oxygen
On the landline
Friend from Paradise
Is wondering if I'm
Just gonna disappear
And it hit me right then that I was
Told her I'm not proud of it
But I had to keep moving
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7. |
Teacher’s Pet
03:57
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All I know
I learned from failure
All I know
From eternally fuckin up
The teacher I go back to
Over and over
One more thing
All I know
I learned from wonder
All I know
From wandering in the darkness
But I won’t be overcome by it
How smart do I have to get
Before I'm allowed to graduate
Desperately I don’t wanna be
Teacher’s pet
Couldn’t focus on nothing
but drums and guitar
Couldn’t keep up with the homework
Dad tried keep me from falling too far
Said earn a 3.0 or wear a collared shirt
Wouldn’t dream of going all the way
But I still went too far with my girlfriend
Tell me you love promise you’ll stay
Treat me however you want then
I drove her mom's car without asking
Unlicensed I crashed it in traffic
I asked my friend to trade places
Cost all my savings
Years of payments
How smart do I have to get
Before I'm allowed to graduate
Honestly trying to give myself to this
Praying that I can get away with it
Desperately I don’t wanna be
Teacher’s pet
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8. |
Parting
03:27
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Breakfast shift in the dish room
Sorting silverware
Through heavy tears
I missed a buzzer
The boss came back to scold me
Then he shifted gears
My family’s in a uhaul right now
Moving away from here
But I finally got some roots down
And I can’t leave senior year
I thought it would be different
I know we all did
Dreaming together again
Never knowing when it’s the last time
In several hefty garbage bags
I packed up my whole life
Loaded them with mom and I
For a rainy all day drive
Graduated yesterday
Said a hundred more goodbyes
You sweetly slept in the passenger seat
I gripped the wheel
Messed up inside
Dreaming together again
Never knowing when it’s the last time
Never knowing when it’s the last time
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9. |
Modesto
03:53
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Modesto isn’t boring like you thought it would be
Modesto it’s not bologna like you thought it would be
Modesto isn’t lonely like you thought it would be
At first I got a vacuum cleaner salesman job
For men I later recognized in Glengarry Glen Ross
I only sold one
She couldn’t afford it
She wrote out the check
And burst out sobbing
After work I hung out with my new church friends and traded stories
We decided I should quit and then we laughed and carried on til morning
Next day I got a part-time job at the local guitar store
Modesto isn’t boring like you thought it would be
Modesto it’s not bologna like you thought it would be
Modesto isn’t lonely like you thought it would be
I heard the perfect song at work today
Having asked if there were bands to see and spots to play
Jim said hell yeah then he handed me a tape
What I heard in my walkman headphones
Pacing by the speakers and PAs
Was a beautiful hilarious tragic mess
That sent tears streaming down my face
Grabbed me by the lapels, stood me up, and put a 4-track in my hand and told me son
Make all the messes you can manage to make
And move back to Seattle
Be the drummer in a band
There’s a girl from there that fridays on my lunch break
I write letters to
And I think she likes me too
And I'm gonna find out
I'm gonna go to bible college on my cousin’s dime
In my volvo wagon
Speeding up I-5
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10. |
Spend Time
02:36
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Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the enemy
At college I started my own band
Then I dropped out to play shows
Found me a room where I live and rehearse
I'm pretty excited to see how it goes
Is what I would’ve said
To the cousins I love
At Christmas dinner when they asked me what I was up to
If I had courage left
Instead I told em I was teaching drumset
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let myself let it in
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let myself
Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the enemy
Then when my mother pulled me aside
Looked me in the eye
Said why you saying that
You’re really doin the band
Don’t be ashamed of it
Back in my room
Drumming with Paul
He can rip it up like an animal
But when it when it was my turn
I couldn’t let go
Or get out of my head
Or into the flow
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let myself let it in
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let it
I couldn’t let myself
Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the energy
Spend time with the enemy
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11. |
Only Yesterday
03:34
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Now you’re looking up
But that’s a very lonely decade in the rear view
And it feels like only yesterday
Still trying to shake it off
But memories have a way of sticking with you
They ache like only yesterday
You try I know
But you haven’t found connection to hold on to
And it haunts you
So many places where you don’t belong
Can’t fight this feeling like you’re almost home
It won’t be long
You found a way to put it now
And your grief is not a burden, it’s energy
That burns like only yesterday
You got around to finding out
And you feel it more than ever
She’s the one for you
And she likes you too
So many places where you don’t belong
Can’t fight this feeling like you’re almost home
It won’t be long
A lighthouse and a satellite
Are making plans
Holding hands
Spinning wheels
I finally feel
Some sunlight on my face
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