1. |
girl at the bar
03:46
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what do you want?
i can give anything that you ask of me
forget what it is that you owe to me
we can be square baby
what do you crave?
i can paint my skin if i try maybe
i can shrink myself on a dime baby
become a stranger
become a stranger
become a stranger
oh will you want her?
once she's a stranger?
everyone must burn for something
i do recognize the feeling, skin in clothes our nights repeating
cadence of your heart uneven, i know come the hour of morning
you'll want something broken in, cold and ready call me on your way back up the northbound highway
walk me round our neighborhood, the days take on a different hue
oh what was i then to you, a place to nest your weary mood?
another gig another view, unholy hour, the fullest fruit
the smallest town the proper juice an easy pour not enough food
cabin fever one night bender stranger ceiling townie hunger
one and done and then another, ashes cooled upon the covers
sit me down and tell me that i do no wrong
i know i write good songs from time to time and aim to please
and be so fair and kind but
tell me baby, driving in your car in the early morning
did you think of me?
did you think of me?
driving in your car in the early morning
i wanna be your girl at the bar
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2. |
break up song x3
03:23
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radio silence, rushing from the independent
ordered your least favorite and ate it with abandon
walked the streets of san francisco
wondering how to love a city by myself
every place it had your smell on the phone i tried so hard
used the waning breath of everything we were and could have been
to tell you come and get your shit after your buddy's show is over
when you will not be sober
and know you're staying over
cause i'd be what you wanted
i'd be what you wanted
order my breakfast, touch it for 20 minutes
this isn't fair, you say, but can we try again
driving away i watched you fade in the mirror
you looked lost, thinking i might stop maybe turn my car around
cause that's what you wanted
that's what you wanted
i gave you what you wanted
home on my lunch break, a stranger in my own home
a stage to house our ending, ready to hear anything
this isn't fair you say, i smile
cause i think you'll change your mind again instead you tell me
you don't want to always have to ask for what you want from me
i'm falling from the ceiling
fading into nothing
i wish i knew what you wanted
i wish i knew what you wanted
i wish i knew what you wanted
you tell me that you wish i'd pulled you into my garage pushed you up against the wall
took exactly what i want
but i don't know what i want i don't know what i want
i don't know what i want
i don't know what to take from you don't know what to take from you
don't know what to take from you don't know what to take
cause i don't know what i want
i don't know what i
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3. |
cold light
03:38
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now it's night and nothing feels right
in the morning you'll catch my good side
oh that day wears down my patina till it leaves me with that
cold light
oh that cold light
you want me more than you've ever wanted me
i try to believe in every word i speak
now i'm pressing your chest to mine trying so hard to kill that
cold light
oh that cold light
now something breathes uneven
i knew where i was, now comes this feeling
out in the sun
it's freezing
i thought that i needed some time on my own
but i was bad company and i hope you are home
because i'm speeding for you counting exits
trying to shake off that same
cold light
oh that cold light
oh that cold light
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4. |
ellipsis
00:27
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5. |
at a bad time
02:22
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you were supposed to leave
early in the morning
keep my slate clean, desperate to be lonely
oh that bottle gleans something that was shiny
now reads like a dream fading
into
nothing
i once wore that bright light
gathered in those sore eyes
easy stranger wanting what i wanted
oh that daily dying
each cycle kept the time
goodbye and goodbye
and goodbye
you were supposed to leave
early in the morning
save your company for someone more worthy
you stayed and i slept late and then i
gave you nothing
sullen cup of coffee
that made you feel like something
i'm sorry you met me at a bad time
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6. |
hotel
04:13
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tell it what you want
your cotton pressed
your hair freshly cut, some searing coal deep in your gut
double room, floral bloom,
one extra mattress,
one for you body, one for the absence
it burns a hole into your lungs
tinges your exhale, room 21
you sit on your bed and you get what you want
cool computer hot desire
metal wires carry fire
stranger spit drained
down the sink stained
with shame and thirst circling the bed skirt
private mornings, private stories
back to work then back to the calling
you lay on your bed and tell the truth
every real thing you'll never do
you don't have to tell me you don't have to tell me
i won't even ask
i'm glad that you, you are alive
even if it's not with me
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7. |
waking up at night
03:51
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waking up at night again
getting my meds right again
blocking out the light again
starting all my fights again
burning up my frame again
dancing with that flame again
swearing off his name again
going through the pain again
doing what i should again
trying to feel good again
i don't know if i could again
i don't know i don't know
i'm cutting out drinking,
swallowing my vitamins
rinsing and repeating
i don't know what i believe but this
greenery's growing
the calendar keeps going
and i hope it's getting better
i am trying to find the center
don't know how to start again
feel it in my heart again
wish that i felt smart again
can't make any art again
trying not to eat again
digging through your feed again
i don't know what i need again
i don't know i don't know
i'm cutting out drinking
swallowing my vitamins and
rinsing and repeating
i don't know what i believe but this
garden is blooming
my friends they keep on moving
and i want it to be better
i am trying to find the center
i am waking up at night again
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8. |
i used to feel different
03:26
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there's a part of each day with no words and no movement
i lay on a mattress, cover my eyelids
too wired to rest, too tired to do anything
useless dark coffee, the hum of a screen
while the glow of the skylight bears down with immunity framed on the ceiling, the absolute masterpiece
i try to get quiet, let it sink into me
all of that trying i find so disquieting
once i was easy now i keep the beat
i used to feel different about these kinds of things
there's a part of each day when i long to be home again dead ends on slow streets a field where i lost a friend
i dreamed of a desert, the sage and the promise
a kind arm around me, first fever of longing
and i wrote of a lifetime on roads long abandoned spraying out stop signs with powder-blue candor i molded a love like a god out of plaster
tragic pulled taut, and born of disaster
once i was a writer, now i cannot speak
i used to feel different about these kinds of things
there's a part of each day when i remember you're in the room,
wanting of light like a plant in a tomb
i would call to you once and i will it to make it through
a body to love not a body to sleep next to
but you know the story, the workers are working
i can't see your eyes, i see numbers and lines
yours are blue mine are green and they're becoming greener
i need what i have, what i have must be worked for
once i was in love and now i can't believe
i used to feel different about these kinds of things
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9. |
violet dream
04:08
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you glued your life to mine and pressed the corners down floors flush, oh the distance we could walk
i glue myself to your mistakes to stoke some flame up unplanned, out of my cold hands
i pull at faces in the tiny window
please do not leave us, you are that which feeds us
tell me a tale i haven't heard and if it hurts me
it may just fill me
won't you try to get a little ugly for me
won't you try to get a little ugly for me
i wanna stare into your mouth and tell you what i want
some days hold weight
the body lays and the heart is a wild thing
moth wings beating
we can't waste enough time, we wait for nothing
and she comes again and again and again
our parts are neat, we keep a clean machine
i take all my calls in a room down the hall
and if i seem touchy, it must be the timing
cause you do the cooking, you are so easy
and you say you love me, you've even got money now
and soon this small house will look so pretty
but do you hear em the cars are screaming
and i see a red palm pressed against the ceiling
a violet dream i just can't stop picking
i took hold your hair and pulled you out of your body cause i want you screaming
i want you screaming
i want you screaming
i want you screaming
won't you try to get a little ugly for me?
won't you try to get a little ugly for me?
i wanna stare into your mouth and
tell you what i want
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10. |
happy with you
02:42
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thought i wasn't angry anymore
but the past sometimes it begs to be reborn
the calendar will always stay its course
it's my birthday, i feel rage
and in our room the cracks and shadows bloom
i dig my roots into your sleeping body
a seedling forcing through our history
seeking air to feed the flame you thought was dead but it
remains and won't forget
i thought i wasn't bitter anymore
but this path sometimes it begs to be reworn
geography is pretty uniform
there's the exit i bite my lip
and in our car i stare at your hand
try to unwind every timeline
farther away but when it strikes
it feels the same how far you'd drive
to get away from our bedroom
newly yours i can't remember
if you took my car, i can't remember
if you took my car, i can't remember
if you took my car,
i search our history seeking air to feed the flame
but i want to want to be happy with you
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11. |
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i don't know what you look like anymore
in the morning light i watch your body
try to see you as a stranger
you once stood in my doorway halfway
saying goodbye while i traced your frame
i thought it cruel you'd show your face and not stay
i don't know what you taste like anymore
every sip that i take is water
almost nothing, keeps me alive
if you take yourself out around this town
put yourself in the path of another mouth
let another room color your clothes
with a strange hue
when i wash it off
will you show through?
i don't know what you feel like anymore
i don't know what you feel like
with my chest pressed to this warm wall breathing
you pressed back and it felt like my own skin
my own muscle without and within oh
take a step through, are you me or you?
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12. |
i don't want to kill you
03:21
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you drove me down the highway
all lines, green signs
names of places redefined
it's fine, it's fine
i'm gonna do it
make one a ruin
i'm gonna make you hate it
do it
i don't wanna kill you
air is leaving the room
oh my will to breathe may
break your body in two
i see you in the rearview
it's a clear a view
hands are shaking
i don't wanna kill you
oh my god you say
look out the window it's beautiful
i swore we drove this way before
did we? did we?
give me the date and
i will explain it
the way you made me hate it
everything you ever said
sealed inside the plastic cover
of a mattress i can't erase it
could almost taste it
i'm gonna make you hate it
do it
i don't wanna kill you
time is leaving the room
oh my will to live may break
your body in two
i see you in the rearview
it's a clear a view
glass is shaking
i don't wanna kill you
someday
when the morning finds me lonely
and the well worn path returns me
and the softest touch relearns you
the smell of foreign fruit
can you take it?
will it kill you?
will you make it? can you take it? will it kill you
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MAITA Portland, Oregon
"want" is out July 26 on Fluff & Gravy Records.
MAITA uses her songs -- bursting, overflowing with language and sharp turns of phrase -- as a forum for unvarnished expression."- KEXP
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