That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf Quotes

“I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“If you need me, don’t.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Oh my god, chip my steal, you’re so annoying.” Alexis snapped. “Maybe if you fixed your attitude and took a bath once in a while, women would talk to you. You smell like old cheese and a mother’s regret.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I tried to find the right words, but instead just fluttered my arm around like my thoughts would arrange themselves better through interpretive jazz hands.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Potatoes are by far the most versatile crop. You can fry them up, bake them, or throw them at undesirable men who refuse to leave you alone.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I'll fess up on a beach surrounded by man booty. Preferably mermen, if ya got em.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Anyone who doesn’t have the tits for murder should stay towards the back.” My knees shook with the weight of her words. I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“My friend rested a hand on her cheek, before a slow crooked grin spread across her face. “He blew your back out, didn’t he?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Oh, thank goodness!” Alexis let out a loud sigh. “I gotta be honest with ya, Big Daddy Dave. At first I was like, ‘Damn, this group looks like they jack off on crystals and kick puppies’ and then I saw y’all praying to a glowing puddle. That’s when I knew everything was gonna be OK.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Maybe if you fixed your attitude and took a bath once in a while, women would talk to you. You smell like old cheese and a mother’s regret.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I tried to warn you,” I said, finishing off my pie. He coughed into his elbow. “You made it look so easy.” I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m sustained by the souls of the damned.” His voice took on a concerned edge as I munched on my second pie. “Your ass is going to regret that later.” “Eh, it can take a tentacle, it can take a pie.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I heard a noise outside and I couldn’t sleep,” she confided, the words half mumbled into my chest. “You live on a farm, sweetheart. You’re going to be hearing noises for the rest of your life.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I could deny her nothing.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Judging by the sea of Alpha titles and barrel-chested men on the covers, is it fair to say an aggressive approach would work better on you?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“The tentacle around her neck squeezed tighter in warning. She made an annoyed noise but hushed at my stern look. “Lamb, we’ve agreed to do as I like to, remember? If I say I want to kneel down and worship this cunt, I will, and you won’t question it. Understand?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Help me" the thing called again, sounding an awful lot like none of my business”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Hun, I promise this isn’t a shot at your manhood. You don’t need to prove me wrong. That pie will burn your mouth if you’re not used to it.” “Well, now I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge.” Before I could stop him, he snatched a meat pie and took a large bite. I sighed and sat back in my chair to watch the show. Felix grinned triumphantly and kept chewing. Two seconds ticked by. Panic crept into his eyes, but he kept chewing, trying to save face. “Feeling the burn yet?” I asked. He shook his head and placed his hands on his knees. Then leaned back again to thrum his fingers against the bench. Soon his eyes began to water, his face turned redder than a cayenne, and he could no longer contain his coughing fit. I took pity and handed him a flask of water. “Did she imbue it with the souls of the damned?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“What did you bring to trade?” “I’ll give ya a heartfelt ‘thanks,’ friend.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf