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320 pages, Paperback
First published November 6, 2017
There was something in his body that recognized Dustin on a deep, cellular level, and he wasn't ever going to get over that, no matter how wrong these feeling were. No. Not the feelings. The feelings were real, and anything this fucking potent couldn't be wrong. Fuck the regulations. I can't let go.
As always, I tried to be as accurate as possible in my depictions of military life. However, the reality is that fraternization among officers and enlisted people is a very big deal for the military in all branches, and I had to find a balance between the gravity of the situation and the need to give Wes and Dustin a happy ending. To that end, I consulted two military attorneys as well as several current and former military personnel. A particular thanks to L.A. Witt, who was invaluable with her insights on this matter. Any inaccuracies or liberties are solely my own. Thanks to the military and special-ops boards and blogs that do an amazing job providing information about special ops and the lives of the people who serve.
"I hate this."
"I don’t. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And not only the sex. … I’m not gonna apologise for being a friend. For caring."
"I care, too."
Fury and frustration in equal measure welled up inside him. Never before had doing the right thing sucked so hard.
"I don’t want that."
"You don’t want an us?"
"There was never an us. Just two lonely guys jerkin’ off."
"That’s all this was? Easy sex?" …
He could only steel his voice, force the lie out.
"Yup, just gettin’ off."
“You say this isn’t about me, but it is. And I’m not worth you tossing your career away over. I’m not.”
“You are. We are. What we have together is. Most people never find a connection like ours. You’re crazy if you don’t think that’s worth fighting for. And you... You’re amazing. You inspire me. You make me laugh. You listen better than anyone I’ve ever met. If anyone is worth this, it’s you. But I won’t have you drowning yourself in guilt. Tell me to fuck off, tell me there’s no chance of anything between us, tell me that it really was just sex. I’m still doing this.”
“I’ll wait. I’m going to wait for you. However long. Until you get out. If you stay in. Until the statute of limitations on the fraternization runs out. Whatever it takes, I’m waiting. I’m in this and I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to leave you alone, and then I can do that too. But I’ll still be waiting. Hoping.”
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Just doesn't work for me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱
“I wish too,” Wes said, voice rough. “I wish so much.”