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Licorice Pizza

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Licorice Pizza is a 2021 film that tells the story of Alana Kane and Gary Valentine growing up, running around and going through the treacherous navigation of first love in the San Fernando Valley, 1973.

Directed and written by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Alana Kane

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  • Fuck off, teenagers!
  • I don't understand, but... I'm sexy, right?

Gary Valentine

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  • I met the girl I'm gonna marry one day, Greg.
  • [Alana shows her boobs] Can I touch them? [She slaps his face]

Jon Peters

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  • This is my nozzle, motherfucker!
  • There's no gas-o in the goddamn car-o, Steve-o!

Mary Grady

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  • You're a goddamn fucking fighter, aren't you? I like that. I can see that. You come here trying to be all pretty for me, but really, you remind me... of a dog. Of an English pit bull dog... with sex appeal. And... a very Jewish nose.
  • You have a warm smile, which is very powerful. And... you have a very Jewish nose.

Other

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  • Rex Blau: You shiny, gold, tall, inexpensive prick!
  • Joel Wachs: All that we need are people in positions of power to remember to be who they were when they were voted in.

Dialogue

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Alana Kane: [during a fight] Este, don't you even look at me! Don't you even look at me! You're always looking at me!
Este Kane: Oh, my...
Alana Kane: What are you doing?
Este Kane: I didn't even say anything!
Alana Kane: What are you doing? What are you thinking, huh? "I'm Este. I work for mom and dad. I'm perfect! I'm a real estate agent. Alana doesn't have her life together. Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time."
Este Kane: I mean...
Alana Kane: I knew it! I knew that was what you were thinking. You're always thinking things, you thinker! You thinker! You think things!

Jon Peters: How big is your penis hole?
Gary Valentine: ...normal-sized?
Jon Peters: How do you know that?

Alana Kane: What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan: What?
Alana Kane: What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan: Like a regular penis, I guess.
Alana Kane: Is it circumcised?
Lance Brannigan: Yeah...
Alana Kane: Then you're a fucking Jew!

Gary Valentine: You say everything twice.
Alana Kane: I don't say everything twice! What is this, say everything twice?

Matthew: Do you have a boyfriend?
Alana Kane: Yes and no. I don't know.
Matthew: Is he a shit?
Alana Kane: Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew: They're all shits, aren't they?

Alana Kane: You don't even know what's going on in the world. You think that the world revolves around Gary Valentine and whatever stupid shit you come up with.
Gary Valentine: It does.
Alana Kane: No it doesn't.
Gary Valentine: Yes, it does.

Alana Kane: I'm cooler than you. Don't forget it.
Gary Valentine: I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.
Alana Kane: What was that?
Gary Valentine: I said "milady".

Jon Peters: My only problem in life is that I love tail too much. I love it. I love it so much. I love it so much. Is that your sister?
Gary Valentine: No.
Jon Peters: It's your girlfriend?
Gary Valentine: No.
Jon Peters: I love it so much, it's gonna kill me one day. You know how much tail I get?
Gary Valentine: No.
Jon Peters: All of it. It's all mine.

Alana Kane: Stop.
Gary Valentine: What?
Alana Kane: I can hear you breathing. Stop.
Gary Valentine: Breathing?
Alana Kane: Yes.

Alana Kane: Are you asking me out?
Gary Valentine: Yes.
Alana Kane: I'm not going on a date with you, you're twelve.
Gary Valentine: You're funny. I'm fifteen.

Gary Valentine: Hello, gorgeous.
Alana Kane: Hello, handsome.
Gary Valentine: Come here often?
Alana Kane: No, 'cause I'm not a teenager. I'm selling earrings for my friend JoJo.
Gary Valentine: Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?
Alana Kane: Well, now that you mention it...
Gary Valentine: Boyfriend trouble?
Alana Kane: No boyfriend. So I don't really have trouble.
Gary Valentine: Well, that's good.

Alana Kane: [on the phone] What's your name?
Waterbed Ted: Uh, Ted.
Alana Kane: Ted.
Waterbed Ted: Yes.
Alana Kane: Oh, Ted, I love that name.
Waterbed Ted: Okay...
Alana Kane: My name's Alana.
Waterbed Ted: Hi, Alana.
Alana Kane: Can I come and install the bed for you?
Waterbed Ted: What?
Alana Kane: I'd lay it down and show you how it works. It moves in a similar way to the ocean... wet inside. And it takes some getting used to, but once you're in there, oh, Ted, I don't think you're gonna be asking any questions.
Waterbed Ted: Sounds like you just sold a waterbed, Alana. Tell me, what time can you be over with that bed?
Alana Kane: Oh, well. Eager. I have to wait until my work is done.
Waterbed Ted: Oh, yeah?
Alana Kane: Yeah. I have a mean, old boss that makes me work all day.
Waterbed Ted: Why don't you tell Fat Bernie you have work to do and get out of there?
Alana Kane: Oh. Fat Bernie is so mean, Ted.
Waterbed Ted: Sounds like it.
Alana Kane: He keeps me locked up inside. But you know what, Ted?
Waterbed Ted: What's that?
Alana Kane: I know you're gonna love our wet beds. You know what they come with?
Waterbed Ted: What's that?
Alana Kane: A wood headboard. And that wood is strong and sticks straight up against the wall.
Waterbed Ted: That sounds great.

Cast

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