User talk:Nidhipatel0943/Deafness in India

I really like how you've set this up! The most important piece of feedback I have for you is to make sure that you're including citations within the main body of the article. Every time you make a factual claim, you need to insert a citation to the source where you found that information. The other thing that jumped out at me was the discussion of languages in the Education section: it would be very helpful if you could be more clear about when you're referring to spoken languages vs. sign languages. Also, you seem to be operating under the assumption that there needs to be a 1:1 correspondence between a sign language and spoken language. I can't tell if that assumption is coming from *you* or from the beliefs of the people who are in charge of these decisions in India (or both!). I want to make sure that *you* know that no such correlation exists (e.g. you can be a native speaker of Malayalam and learn/use ASL without knowing English). Finally (for now), I very much appreciate your inclusion of the Deaf Advocacy section, and would encourage you to keep it, even if it's not as fully-developed as some of the other sections may be. If nothing else, the existence of the section may spur other Wikipedians to flesh it out more in the future! Matthall.research (talk) 21:12, 3 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Nidhi!

Wow, you have so much here - loved reading it!

What you're doing well: I love the information you're choosing to use. They all seem really relevant and intriguing to your topic. I thought your lead was good and informative, straight to the point like it should be! You have a ton of good information that fits well into the headings you chose, I especially think the word choice of "cultural neglect" is really well-put.

Suggested changes: It looks like you are unsure about whether or not to keep the Deaf Advocacy section, but I would keep it. Even if there's minimal information about it out there, I think it's important you include that information regardless - it certainly shows the community's strength and acts almost as sort of an action item. The medical aspect section is a bit unclear to me, but I'm sure that will be fleshed out for the final draft.

Most important thing you could do to improve article: I would add in more sources and make sure that you're speaking strictly factual. Sometimes it feels a bit like essay writing (which I do too, it's what we're used to) whereas I think Wikipedia wants really straightforward facts. It'd definitely help to be able to cite as you go through each piece of information. I'm looking at the Deaf Education section in particular, but obviously this is still a draft!

What I might apply to my own article: Specifically, I might rearrange some of my article to include an advocacy section as well, I think that's a great idea (I'm editing the Wikipedia page for Women in India to include info on Deaf women). Logistically, I'm definitely looking up to your lead page as a good reminder of being clear and concise - mine is virtually nonexistent right now!

Good job Nidhi! - Lindsey Linsertart (talk) 01:30, 12 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]