Talk:Miss Rosa/GA1

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Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 08:40, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Having spent late August watching both seasons of Orange is the New Black back to back pretty much, I now feel qualified enough with the source material to take this one on! :) Will review shortly. Miyagawa (talk) 08:40, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

• General

• Quick and simple things first - no dablinks.
• External links (and cites) are all working fine, and are from reliable sources.
• No dash related issues.
• No duplicate wikilinks. Miyagawa (talk) 08:43, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

• Lead

• I think you've summarised well, but the short sentences doesn't make for a pleasant read. Could you take a look and see if you could link some of them together to improve the flow? You've done it in a couple of places in the article as well - the trick that was advised for me which helped me a lot was that someone suggested reading the article out aloud. That way if it feels stunted at any points it becomes immediately evident.

• Development

• The quote in the first paragraph of Characterisation needs to have a direct cite following it.

• Reception

• You might want to check "But was disappointed that the two stories collided to form the series finale. felt that it was both comical and absurd."
• "They thought Miss Rosa's last scene was both brilliant and exhilarating." - I'd change "They" to "She" as you're referring to the opinion of a single person.
• I'd drop the quotation marks around Screen Rant.
• The "especially moving season-ending thrill" quote needs a direct cite.
• Likewise, "beguile me and break my heart" needs a direct cite.

• Internal links

• I'm just wondering if it's worthwhile setting up direct pages for the episode titles and the other characters in Orange as that way you could add internal links to those redirects as you go along, but if they are eventually created then you won't need to go back and add the links back into any articles that have been previously created. Miyagawa (talk) 13:30, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Once you've had a chance to deal with those points, I'll give it another read through to see if anything else jumps out. I'll place it on hold until then. Miyagawa (talk) 13:30, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review this article. I will now take a look and start making the changes.Rain the 1 21:28, 7 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I went through the lead and changed things around. I think that is good advice, another editor once told me to read out loud before submitting any edit. I do need to do that more often. I have addressed all those points in other sections. A few clumsy mistakes on my part there. If you have any more suggestions for improvement then I will gladly make changes. To your last point, I have no issue going through and adding the links as they arrive. It keeps me with something to do in-between big edits. Though I did just link to Morello's article as she now has an article.Rain the 1 21:49, 7 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've gone through and made a few more copy edits - the only significant one was a line I removed as it was repeated in a similar fashion in the following section (and I didn't think removing it detracted from it's original position). All in all, I'm happy to mark this as a GA now. Nice job. Miyagawa (talk) 08:36, 8 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing and helping with changes too, much appreciated.Rain the 1 20:01, 9 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]