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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Uru: Ages Beyond Myst/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates‎ | Uru: Ages Beyond Myst
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 02:23, 3 February 2009 [1].

Uru: Ages Beyond Myst

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Nominator(s): Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk)

Did you know... That the development of Uru: Ages Beyond Myst took $12 million and five years, yet did not ship with the multiplayer component originally intended to be the entire game? Did you know the game's development monikers included DIRT and MUDPIE before the final name was announced? Since my other FAC has stalled, nom'ing this one... good news folks, it will actually be the last video game FAC you see me run by you for a while (months, even!) --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 02:16, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose on criterion 3 File:Uru screenshot.png - The fair use rationale for this image needs a purpose of use - the current one refers to "box art", which this is not. Awadewit (talk) 02:29, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Whoops, I guess I forgot to fix it when copying another FUR; I've tailored it to something more appropriate. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 03:05, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Apparently the main aim of this image is to show the custom avatars, but it is hard to see the avatar, since it is small portion of the screenshot and the avatar's face is turned away from the viewer. Do you think we could get a better screenshot and focuses more on the avatar? Awadewit (talk) 19:07, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've uploaded a new version that has a larger avatar and lowered the resolution, as well as rewording the FUR. Unfortunately, generally the only good facial shots of avatars are for the avatar creation system itself; these images show the graphic environments and third-person view, which I think is more important. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 19:35, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
New image and new FUR are much better. Striking oppose. Awadewit (talk) 19:32, 16 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments -

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:21, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • I'll just quote each other from a previous, FAC, okay? I say "JustAdventure: According to its about, it has editorial policies and editors, and has been referenced in reliable print publications. It's an interview and is being used solely to source the interviewee's comments, not any content by the site's authors", and you say "I'll leave these out for other reviewers to decide for themselves." :P Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:10, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        • (whacks David) Do you know how MANY FACs I see a day, much less a month??? Consider ourselves quoted (and next time you expect me to say something like that, point it out in your nom statement ... I'll train ya'll yet...) Ealdgyth - Talk 18:18, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments I enjoyed reading this, and I'll support soon, but a few minor quibbles. jimfbleak (talk) 16:32, 26 January 2009 (UTC) *Uru's creation required five years and $12 million to complete. - Would Uru required five years and $12 million to complete. be better? [reply]

  • clunky third-person controls I'm not a game player and I didn't know what it meant until the next occurrence - could it be linked in the lead?
  • there is not[sic] - should there be a space after not (just asking)?
  • # (in music table) is it really necessary to have # as a column heading for numbers, particularly as the use of # for numbers is primarily US?
  • privately-owned I didn't think -ly words had hyphens?
  • Changed the first point and simply removed the "third-person" from controls, as it's only really important once the gameplay has been discussed in depth anyhow. I fixed the sic issue and "private owned". As for the music table, that's just the template output; you'd have to take it to the template talk to change that kind of thing. -Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:34, 26 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine, i've no other issues, so supporting now
  • Oppose, 1a and 1b. This is a nice read, but unfortunately it falls short of FA quality. I fixed several outright errors, but it is not well-written in many places. The tone is frequently overly casual, semi-colons are overused, and the voice is more game-guide review than encyclopedia. Some sections are better than others, but the Plot and Uru Live sections need overhaul and expansion.
    • "The personal Age serves as a hub in Uru, containing a bookshelf with linking books ..." What are "linking books"? (Note: I now see it explained in the Plot section but we need some context here.)
    • "Multiplayer" is an adjective.. please fix places where you have used it as a noun ("... but criticized the lack of multiplayer in the retail version ...", "... the multiplayer was designed to allow two or more players to work together ...", there may be more)
    • The plot section seems quite sparse compared to other VG articles I've seen. Is there really no more depth?
    • "The game was originally conceived as a multiplayer-only game where players could meet and new puzzles would be added monthly." This lacks parallel structure.. "could meet" and "would be added". Please revise.
    • "However Uru Live was cancelled before being released, with Cyan stating ..." Avoid the ungrammatical "with <noun> <verb>-ing" construction.
    • "Uru's music was composed by Tim Larkin, who had started out working ..." The "started out" is overly informal.
    • "Larkin employed a combination of real and synthesized instruments, sometimes upgrading synthesized performances to those of real musicians ..." Why is moving from synthesized to real musicians "upgrading"? Has a POV shine to it.
    • "An example of the more 'exotic' aspects of the score would be Larkin's use of a group of Maasai tribesmen's chanting, who were recorded during their visit to Spokane, Washington, where Cyan Worlds was located at that time." This is just not a well-written sentence.. very awkward; "would be" is overly informal. Please rewrite.
    • The "Uru Live" section is woefully inadequate, leaving out major details about the "shard" servers and how/why they were shut down. One can deduce that there were licensing issues and such, but we need to write about it.
--Laser brain (talk) 04:46, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've replied to the above. -Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 16:20, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Looking at the prose now. I think we still need some detail about why the shards were shut down. I mean, did GameTap demand they be shut down? Or did the people shut them down because they could now play on GameTap? --Laser brain (talk) 17:47, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I haven't been able to find a good "final fate" to Until Uru. I've added language from a source that Cyan planned on dropping it altogether, but there's no hard evidence that fan-run servers couldn't still exist (although the lack of authentication keys means the population to play them would be finite.) --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 16:06, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Have you used a library journal search, or just Google? Searching some periodical databases often turns up a treasure trove of information. --Laser brain (talk) 18:27, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've gone through all the likely resources available at my library (that's where I got all the print sources) but was unable to find anything about Until Uru. --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:51, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • This says that the game was also released in Europe, but this is not mentioned in the article, infobox, etc.?
  • "In a departure" - "Departing"
  • "warmly received" – I'd prefer "well received"
  • "on special worlds" – What's so particularly special about these worlds, compared to other fictional worlds? Seems like an unnecessary adjective.

Gary King (talk) 17:15, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All done. --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 17:50, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • More comments
    • The "Uru Music Tracklist" doesn't work too well, visually. For about five minutes, I thought it was a heading where someone forgot to type the content. Then, I noticed the "show" link waaaaaaaaay off to the right. I think most readers will miss this.
    • "The plot of the single-player release was considered minimal and forgettable." Please make active voice and tell us who considered.
    • "Gamespot's Andrew Park questioned why the game shipped with the multiplayer element open only for select players when the component had previously been beta-tested." You say this again at the end of that paragraph.
--Laser brain (talk) 18:17, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • I've stricken some points above, but I can't in good conscience support as it stands. The prose is cleaned up to a decent degree of being "correct" but it still needs editing to become more compelling. I am still troubled by the comprehensiveness. You have one little sentence about what the multiplayer gameplay is like. I'd like to see much more comprehensive information about Gameplay, Plot, and the multiplayer experience. --Laser brain (talk) 02:39, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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