The Wacky Molestation Adventure

Cartman gets four tickets to the Raging Pussies concert and the boys all want to go, but Kyle's parents will not allow him to. After relentless negotiation, Kyle's parents sarcastically agree that Kyle can go if he brings democracy to Cuba. Kyle sends a letter to Fidel Castro, who agrees to democratize Cuba, but Kyle's parents still refuse to let him go to the concert. In his fury, Kyle questions his parents' authority and wishes that he had no parents at all.

Kyle shares his frustration with his friends, and Cartman suggests that he call the police and tell them that his parents have been "molestering" [sic] him. Kyle calls the police and they arrest his parents, despite Sheila's pleas that neither she nor Gerald did such a thing. The boys then go to the concert and Kyle hosts a party at his house. Seeing how liberated they are without parents, all of the children begin calling the police on their parents and teachers resulting in the adults being taken to prison. Soon, all of the town's adults have been arrested and only the children populate the town.

Sometime later, a couple from out of town, Mark and Linda, are having car trouble as they approach the limits of "Smiley Town" (the South Park sign has been overwritten). They make it to a mechanic shop run by Butters and Craig. Mark asks where the nearest phone is and is told that it is in Treasure Cove. They also discover that South Park has been divided into Smiley Town and Treasure Cove by a long white line. Mark and Linda attempt to enter Treasure Cove but are attacked by kindergarteners and driven back into Smiley Town. Craig and others come to their rescue and take them to meet Cartman, who has appointed himself the mayor of Smiley Town. Knowing that a ritual called "Carousel" is going to be held that night, Cartman asks Mark and Linda to go to Treasure Cove and retrieve a book for him. Getting the book will force a member of Treasure Cove to be sacrificed to "The Provider": a statue of John Elway with bodies next to it. Mark and Linda agree to help, find the book, are attacked by residents of Treasure Cove, and taken back to the elementary school where Stan and Kyle are in charge.

Stan asks why Mark and Linda are helping Cartman and offers to get them to the nearest phone if Mark and Linda agrees to help them instead. He then tells them the story of "the before time in the long, long ago", which includes the reasons for the existence of Smiley Town, Treasure Cove, "Carousel", "The Provider", and "The M Word". Mark and Linda then agree to get the book from Smiley Town. Meanwhile, their parents are in prison working out their "sick sexual urges" with a counselor who helps them identify alternative activities to molesting their children.

Back in South Park, Mark gets Cartman's book for Stan and Mayor Cartman chooses Butters to be sacrificed. Realizing the danger to Butters, Mark and Linda attempt to interfere with the ceremony. In response, Cartman threatens to call the police and claim that the couple "molestered" the children. Mark realizes that the town has descended into anarchy because the parents were all falsely accused of molesting the children. He explains to the kids in a speech that their parents, the "birth givers", are their providers. The word "parents" resonates with the children and causes them to remember. Stan then reveals that it has only been ten days since the town's parents and adults left, much to Mark and Linda's surprise. The children allow Mark to make his important phone call and to also call the police, clearing their parents of all wrongdoing. Mark tells Linda that maybe they should have children, but after all they have been through, she decides to get her tubes tied.

As the children await the return of their parents, Mark and Linda drive up and announce that Linda got her tubes tied, and reveal that Mark got the job that his "important call" was for: the manager of a Denny's restaurant in Breckenridge. When the parents arrive, they now believe they are "cured" of the "sick sexual urges" that they never had (after they've been conditioned to believe they actually had molested their kids). The parents are reunited with their children, the latter who are confused by their parents' actions. Ultimately, and to Mark and Linda's surprise, the boys decide to immediately make snow igloos.

• "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" Full episode at South Park Studios
• "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" at IMDb