The Heartbroke Kid

Principal Skinner is looking for a company to sign a vending machine contract with Springfield Elementary, with half of the machine's profits going to the school.^[2] He looks at suggestions of a gumbo machine from the Sea Captain that seriously burned the Sea Captain's hand and a request box from Gil and rejects them, until he gets a suggestion from Lindsey Naegle. The unhealthy vending machines sponsored by hip-hop artists are installed, and most of the students use the machines (save for Lisa, who protests their extremely high sugar content and artificial additives), but Bart is seen using it the most frequently. Due to the high fat and sugar content in the snacks, the high frequency with which he eats them, and the fact that he sold off his skateboard to Groundskeeper Willie (who starts using it and gets injured from falling down the stairs while on said skateboard) to buy snacks, after three weeks, Bart significantly gains weight and becomes obese and, during an in-show parody of the opening credits, he suffers a heart attack after slowly trying to make it home from school.

Bart sees Dr. Hibbert, who says that malted milk balls have clogged his arteries, and that a wad of Laffy Taffy is blocking his liver. He informs the family that Bart is addicted to junk food and tells Marge to put him on a diet, although the family's attendance at a milkshake festival fails to persuade him. Lisa discovers that Bart has been hiding junk food in the wall of his room, and the family stages an intervention. When Bart tries to run away, due to his widened and obese frame, he gets stuck in a fence and is caught by two representatives of a maximum security fat camp, Serenity Ranch. Bart ends up there with Apu, Rainier Wolfcastle (who was last seen fattening up for a movie), and Kent Brockman, and the camp's leader is none other than former U.S. Marine Tab Spangler (who is dealing with many anger issues). However, whilst Bart is there, the family is faced with an expensive bill. To pay for the camp, the family converts their house into a youth hostel, which attracts German backpackers.

At the fat camp, Bart cheats by sneaking food that is disposed of, so Spangler takes him home to visit the family to show him the horrors that occur. His family is working continually to appease the backpackers staying in their home. The Germans humiliate the family, making Homer sing & dance for change and forcing Marge and Lisa to clean intentional messes while pointing out America's problems one by one. He suggests Bart fight his addiction, and he does, by destroying the vending machines in school. His addiction to junk food is over, and he steals the money from the vending machines, which the family uses to pay for the bill and give the Germans "Das Boot". Homer gets revenge by chasing out the Germans, and tossing one of them out. Spangler says that Bart still has three weeks left of non-refundable treatment, and Homer goes with Spangler (by force from the family, presumably as payback for calling Bart a "freeloading fatso"), where the episode ends with them driving in Spangler's car arguing over the cheeseburger Homer is eating.

Albert Brooks guest starred in the episode as Bart's fitness instructor at fat camp in his fifth appearance on the show. It was his first appearance for almost a decade, having previously voiced characters in the episodes "The Call of the Simpsons" (1990); "Life on the Fast Lane" (1990); "Bart's Inner Child" (1993) and "You Only Move Twice" (1996).^[5][6] In The Simpsons Movie (2007), Brooks voiced another character, Russ Cargill.

IGN listed Albert Brooks as the top guest star on The Simpsons for voicing Tab Spangler, along with his previous voice roles.^[6]

• "The Heartbroke Kid" at IMDb
• The Simpsons Archive Archived 2013-02-08 at the Wayback Machine