Get all 35 Avi C. Engel releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Bestiary, Strangling Vine, Too Many Souls, Sanguinaria, Undergrowth, Their Invisible Hands, The Cicada Session, Dressed in Borrowed Light, and 27 more.
1. |
Accompanied By Dreams
04:57
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you said that I would be
accompanied by dreams
that would make this place
less sinister to me
but you lied
I'm terrified
you said that we would reap
a brilliant harvest from this grief
you said that life
is just one long
unburdening
but it never rained
it's autumn in our veins
you said that you would leave
a small, bloodied offering
that would make this night less ravenous for me
but if I breathe
the night will swallow me
you said that you would bend the bars
and let me rest a while in your arms
when the next war comes
and they bomb the last eden of stars
if I lie
would you let me inside
or should I wait
for another lifetime
if I lie
would you let me inside
or should I wait
for another lifetime
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2. |
Trembling Dust
03:27
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trembling dust
rising into clouds
shudder of ghostship wrecks
coming down
i'm smashing the gavel
that gravity pounds
lash me, darling
if i've gotten too proud
but i believe i'm finally found
i believe i'm finally found
in the kingdom of the worm
you can eat the dream from my eye
eat the kisses from a mouth ravaged
by bitterness and lying
when i get tired of breathing, love
and spitting this fire
won't you roll me, roll me
into ashes on the ground
i believe i'm finally found
i believe i'm finally found
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3. |
I Only Bet on the Rain
07:24
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I only bet on the rain
who wins?
I win again!
I spit a joyful curse
into the sky
we can't all be winners,
and mother, I try
Digging through these wastes of flesh
I found a rose
Born of sweat and fever's afterglow
Plant me like a seed within a stone
I'll wait another lifetime
To be born
I only bet on the rain...
Digging through the mud
I found a bell
It summoned all the butterflies
In hell
Blackened wings indifferent to all pain
Begging
Singe me
Burn me
Engulf me again
I only bet on the rain...
Play my songs on spoons and rusty cans
On a deserted beach
Come hold my hand
Lose my soul, my spleen for you
On the burning sand
Mold me, mark me, bruise me
I'm clay in your hands
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4. |
Hole in the Sun
04:39
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blast to dust
the pale wings of prayer
lay this body down
limbs bound
eyes sealed tight
lay this body down
little bird
little bird
where have you gone?
i flew home through a hole in the sun
play my vertebrae like a lyre
notes are going to rise like stars
through the concrete and smoke and barbed wire
notes are going to rise like stars
little bird
little bird
where have you gone?
i flew home through a hole in the sun
dream the last beast you'll dream of
and fly through her eyes
lay this body down
hold me tight as i let go of my eyes
lay this body down
little bird
little bird
where have you gone?
i flew home through a hole in the sun
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5. |
Heaven of Leaves
03:49
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comb the night
with an eye
you stole from me
scrape the light
from a river bed
that bleeds
starlight claws
a caress down a wounded tree
dressed in a flesh
so soft and shivering
i stand inside your world
and learn to see
it's a golden night
that has forsaken
me
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6. |
Light Years
06:09
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Light's tooth edge cuts a ribbon of red in the flesh of the dawn. Cold earth cracks, ditches make beds. There was a war. Which side was I on?
In a few light years we'll come home.
Digging through mortar and dust of bricks, we found our mother buried in coal. We found our father buried in snow. They kissed our eyes, gave back our names, and told what was left to keep warm.
And in a few light years we'll come home.
You're the cold wind rushing through the holes in my eyes. You're the rifle and the rose in my bones. Limbs fly like flowers in a storm. In a few light years we'll turn the coal. In a few light years we'll come home.
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7. |
Skywalk to Crescent Town
03:39
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I'd like to leave here tonight
Kick the star spurs in my sides
I'm your shadow beast
I will ride
I will ride
Blossoms that burst into fire
Open a wound in the sky
Starlings, jackdaws, vultures and kites
Have found a trap door in the night
All birds will leave earth tonight
Kick the star spurs in my sides
A dizzying flash
Bluebells hammering wide
Your nails, your teeth in my side
Archways dilate
Gusts of light in my eyes
Rows of parched houses
Catching on fire
I'd like to leave here tonight
Kick the star spurs in my side
I'm your shadow beast
I will ride
I will ride
I will ride
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Avi C. Engel Toronto, Ontario
they/them
song sculptures & ink beasts
I'm not writing the same song over and over so much as writing one long continuous song that will end when I die.
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